Chapter 42
42
Grim
What have I done?
That question just keeps growing louder and louder in my mind with each passing day. I go to sleep hearing it, dream it and wake up to it. By now, it’s a scream—the scream of some desperate man mourning the loss of everything he can never get back.
The Devils haven’t let us so much as take a piss without one of them watching us. I’m certain they’d have killed us by now if Karma wasn’t so good at talking shit about Joker. She has them convinced she can figure out how he thinks and they’re desperate enough to believe her. Because so far, every place they’ve hit to try and find their lost princess Eden has been a bust. Including the town of Roaring Brook which we found empty.
Truth is none of us has any idea where Joker and his guys are.
And with each damn hour that passes I feel Scorpio slipping farther and farther away from me. And I don’t know how I’ll survive that. I’m not sure I want to.
Another MC has joined the Devils in searching for Eden. Rogue Angels. Zane, or Unholy, as he’s better known, is with them and Karma has been trying to get them alone so she can make her request of them. The request for them to help us get solid new identities so we can stop running and settle down. She finally succeeded tonight and is sitting with them now.
I can’t see why she still cares about that. I don’t care about anything but making it right with Scorpio. Fixing what I fucked up with my impulsive, stupid ideas and over-estimation of my abilities. I’ve never betrayed anyone in my life, least of all a friend. Knowing I did it to a lover is like a stone hanging around my neck, pulling me down until I can hardly move.
I’d hoped to get access to a phone by now so I could call him and try to start fixing it. But it’s probably a good thing the Devils are hardly letting us talk among ourselves. Else I’d just fuck it up more.
I want to just ride and never stop. But I walk over to Karma, Rogue, and Unholy instead. We’re camping out in the open, the sky over the desert vast and full of stars. They’re sitting by one of the many fires and by the shadows playing over Karma’s face I can already tell the conversation isn’t going like she wants before I even reach them.
“So you’re saying you can’t help us at all?” she asks as I sit down next to her.
Unholy pokes at the fire with a stick and Rogue shrugs. He’s an intense-looking guy with dark hair, a lean yet muscular build and eyes that glow green even by firelight.
“We’re in the business of fixing things for those wrongfully accused of crimes and getting justice for those who are out of means to get it for themselves,” Rogue says. He sounds defensive, as though what he’s saying is something he wants to be true but isn’t.
“You took him in,” Karma says, pointing at Unholy. The guy used to ride with us for a time a long while ago, so we know he’s fully guilty of killing a priest. And the two prison guards he killed when he escaped and went on the run. And now this Rogue guy is clearly shielding him.
They exchange a glance then Unholy starts poking the fire harder. He was just a kid when he rode with us, but he’s turned into a hard man in the meantime. Even his eyes are like two pieces of stone.
“We go back a long way,” Unholy mutters, glancing at Rogue again, as if to confirm it.
But Rogue has eyes only for Karma. “Let’s put it this way. If there’s something we can help you with after this is all said and done, we will. You sheltered Zane when he needed friends and that’s a debt I will repay. But I can’t promise you that you’ll walk around free. After what we’re doing here, I can’t even guarantee that for myself.”
He’s got that magnetic leader type of presence. I’ve seen some of those in my lifetime. Most of them crashed and burned. But this guy… I want to believe him. And I can clearly see Karma does too.
“What are you even doing here?” I ask.
Rogue transfers his magnetic gaze to me. “We’re paying our debts to the Devils. What are you doing here?”
Digging a hole I might never climb out of again.
But that’s not what I say. In fact, I don’t have to say anything, because Cross comes walking to our fire out of the darkness.
He’s flanked by his VP, Tank, several other execs and Ice—the man whose daughter we’re trying to save from Joker. Since being with them, we’ve finally learned the whole terrible story that led to this mess of revenge we find ourselves in.
Apparently, Satan’s Spawn MC—the MC Joker’s and Scorpio’s fathers were pretty high up in—abducted Ice a long time ago and made him fight in underground MMC fights as their champion for seven years. This happened after the Spawns killed off Ice’s family. Ice’s sister Roxie survived and years later, she hooked up with Cross. She didn’t know Ice was still alive until the Devils saved him and then proceeded to help him kill all the Spawns in revenge. Just a regular day at the office for a mercenary, killers-for-hire club that Devil’s Nightmare MC was back then. No one predicted it would lead to this moment. I guess they’ve racked up some debts of their own to pay but were too arrogant to see it.
“Joker sent word,” Cross says. “He wants to fight tomorrow night and we’re gonna meet that challenge. This is your chance to prove whose side you’re on.”
He’s talking to Karma and me and she swallows hard as she nods. My mouth is suddenly so dry, so full of gritty sand, I can’t even do that much. Let alone nod.
I have the strongest urge to grab a knife and kill Cross right here to end this before it starts. Stupid as that idea is. Almost as stupid as the one where I tried to get the girl away from Joker. Good thing I still don’t have any weapons. Else I might make yet another fatal mistake.
Scorpio will be by Joker’s side in this battle. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I’d rather be dead than face him across the battlefield.
“We’ll prove ourselves,” Karma assures him.
But Cross has eyes just for me. Black as they are, they still burn.
“He doesn't look so sure,” Cross says. Meaning me.
I nod. “I’m on your side. To the death.”
Telling lies has always come easily and naturally to me. No matter the pressure or the extent of the lie, I can always make sure I’m believed. That gift has saved my ass many, many times before, and it’s saving me now. Cross looks away and issues a few orders.
Maybe my lie was so believable tonight because it wasn’t really a lie. I will die before I hurt Scorpio or any of his friends.
Cross and his guys leave, followed by Rogue and Unholy. Karma is eyeing me like she’s reading my mind, wearing a look on her face that clearly says she doesn’t like what she’s seeing.
“Don’t do anything dumb tomorrow,” she says. “We’ll get through this. We’ll be fine. Scorpio will forgive us once we explain what we were thinking.”
I stand up and brush the dust off my pants. “Words won’t erase our betrayal. Only actions will.”
She stands up too, her face so close I can practically feel the touch of her lips on my skin. But that’s a pleasure I don’t deserve anymore.
“You have a plan?” she asks excitedly.
But I shake my head. “I’m through making plans. We follow yours.”
Then I walk off into the darkness, hoping she believed that lie, hoping it calmed her down.
My one and only mission tomorrow will be to make sure Scorpio doesn’t get killed and that he knows I am the one whose idea it was to betray him. Knows that Karma was against it. That way maybe they can keep their love. Because I will only destroy it in the end. The way I’ve managed to destroy everything I ever cared about until now.
But this won’t be one of those times. This time, I’ll do it right.