Chapter 44
44
Karma
We made it out of that battle in the desert alive. But not unscarred. I don’t know how many Lost Sons we left dead in the dust of that vast plain, but I know I didn’t kill any of them.
Except one.
He lived, I saw him ride away with Joker on the back of his bike. The bullet he saved me from only grazed him. But I killed him nonetheless. Grim and I killed him.
The one thing we tried so hard to prevent—risked so much to prevent—ended up happening.
Every time I close my eyes, I see Scorpio’s face change. Go from the loving gaze that is the reason he took a bullet for me, to the stone-cold mask of a stranger as he walked away from us. He wouldn’t even hear our apology.
It’s been a week since that battle. My pain’s not getting better. It’s getting worse. I see that love we shared disappearing when my eyes are wide open now, not just in nightmares. Grim and I don’t talk much. There’s nothing more to say. Maybe time will heal this wound too. Maybe death will come sooner than that can happen. I’m not ready to give up yet, but maybe we never stood a chance to fix this in the first place.
Moments stolen. That’s how all this started. Our time at the lakeside cabin. Our time in LA. Our time at the inn. All stolen from the hard, black reality of this fight, this war, this thing barreling towards us, ready to destroy us whether we ignore it or not.
Thieves don’t get to keep what they stole. Not when all is said and done. There’s always a reckoning. That’s where we are now.
I’ve been getting as close to Cross as I possibly can. Telling him all I know about Joker and his plans. It’s my one last shot at getting to keep what I stole. Futile as it may be.
The memory of what was, the hope of what could be, is forever inked into my skin. I can’t let the hope die, any more than I can rip that tattoo off.
Grim spends his days alone now, wandering around, speaking to no one, sharpening his knives, cleaning his guns and fixing his bike. Lost in this hell we’re in just as I am.
The execs of all the clubs standing with the Devils in this fight are gathered in a large, airless room at the bunker where we retreated to after the battle. The same room we’d been gathering in since the battle in the desert, futilely trying to figure out what to do next, where to turn next.
No new intel has come in since that battle. No new challenge from Joker. No new bit of hope that we still have a chance to turn this around.
Cross walks over to where I’m standing by the open door, trying to get some fresh air, wondering if I should just make a run for it.
“Rogue told me about your troubles,” he says.
The only troubles I have now revolve around getting Scorpio back, but no one knows about that, so I just stare at Cross blankly.
“How you have keep looking over your shoulders, afraid the law’s gonna catch up with you,” he elaborates. “That’s no way to live.”
Rogue is looking at us every intently and I resist the urge to curse at him. I made my request for his help in confidence. Not so he could hand Cross something else to hold over me and my brothers and sisters. Since the battle, they’ve let us keep our weapons and haven’t been watching us so very closely anymore. They trust us now. I was hoping that meant we could leave soon.
“No, it’s no way to live,” I say. “But what choice do we have?”
“You’ve proven your worth to us,” he says.
I killed exactly no one in that battle. Grim killed the man who shot Scorpio, and he was on our side. Luckily no one noticed. The rest of our MC didn’t kill anyone either. That is it. But we emerged from the battle covered in Scorpio’s blood and dust and it looked as it looked—like we gave our all to the fight.
“When this is over, we will help you get new identities,” Cross says. “You’ll be able to live freely then.”
“If we live at all,” I say instead of thanking him. So I deserve the hard, piercing look he gives me.
“There’s always that possibility,” he says. “But my offer extends to any of you left standing. Pass it on.”
I nod. “Thank you. I wish we could’ve helped you more.”
He shrugs and says nothing, but I bet he’s wishing the same thing.
Hawk, their intel officer walks in, carrying his thick, serious-looking black laptop, and steals Cross’ attention away from me. As serious as the guy’s tech looks, I doubt he has any news for us today. He comes several times a day to inform us of that nevertheless.
He projects some pictures of the desert from his laptop onto the wall and is just about to start explaining what we’re looking at when Ice walks in. As always when Ice joins us, the room grows dead still and dead silent. There’s over twenty people in here and I can’t hear a single breath being taken, let alone anything else.
He’s not handling our inability to find his daughter well. I’m pretty sure he’s already lost his mind over it and I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks that.
“What is this?” he asks. “A slideshow from your last trip?”
Hawk clears his throat and looks right past him, unable to meet his stone hard gaze. I’ve seen them arguing a lot, we all have, that’s probably why everyone is still quiet as mice.
“This is some long-lost town in the middle of the desert,” Hawk says. “And everything points to it being the place where Joker has Eden.”
“You said that about the last three places we hit.”
“But this time, the signs are clearer,” Hawk says.
Everything from the grimace on Ice’s face to the way he’s balling his hands into fists so hard his arms are shaking is telling me he’s fighting hard not to get his hopes up. Hope in a hopeless situation is the worst sort of pain. I should know. It’s been my life. He’s probably also trying not to start yet another fight with Hawk.
“What’s left of the MCs warring against us have been converging on this place for days,” Hawk says. “All my eyes and ears are telling me that. They’ve been doing it in clumps of ten or twenty, but it’s been non-stop and it’s happening day and night. Something’s brewing. Something big.”
“And these photos are the best you have of the area?” the Devils’ VP, Tank asks.
“Unfortunately,” Hawk says. “They’ve been shooting down all the drones I’ve sent. Only one got through and back. The town is smack in the middle of a lot of hills. Whoever built it didn’t want to be found.”
“And that’s the only road in and out?” Cross asks, pointing at a winding line that reminds me of a snake.
“There’s ways in over the hills,” Hawk says. “But they’ll be guarding those, guaranteed.”
Cross walks closer to the projection and studies the pictures.
This must be the place Scorpio told us about the last time we were together in peace. The town of Justice where we could live free, hidden away from the rest of the world. The cramp in my throat is so painful I can’t take a breath.
“We’ll be trapped the moment we ride in,” Cross says. “How sure are you this is where they’re holding her?”
Ice isn’t looking at them. He’s the only one. Instead, he’s clutching his phone, his whole arm shaking as he gazes at the screen.
“What is it?” Cross asks him.
“It’s a text from that bastard. It says, “You’re invited to Justice. She’s waiting for you.” There’s a map attached… and another photo…”
His voice is breaking up like ice cracking under your feet on a dark winter night.
“It’s the same place,” Hawk says after Ice hands him the phone. “The town of Justice. This Joker’s got a sick sense of irony, I’ll give him that.”
“All I’m gonna give him is a slow and painful death,” Ice says through clenched teeth. “When are we riding?”
Cross and the Devils are still perfectly silent and still as they look at the pictures Joker sent, but the others are starting to shift around and mutter things to each other. None of my brothers or sisters are here, so no one is talking to me. I glance at the photo they’re viewing when I get the chance. It’s of a woman’s bloodied and battered body and now burning bile is rising in my throat. But it has nowhere to go because my throat is clamped shut. Joker killed Eden? No! Getting her back alive and unharmed was the only chance they had at getting out of this mess. The only chance Scorpio had of staying alive.
“We ride soon,” Cross says, his deep voice cutting through the escalating noise in the room and in my head. “But we’re going in to kill them all. And that’s gonna take some planning.”
The noise in my head drowns out all else now. It’s not forming any words or pictures. It’s just screams.
We had a chance to save Eden but we fucked up. And now she’s dead. And now they’re all dead. And so are we.
I leave the room, walking the dark, hot corridors of this bunker alone. The blinding light streaming through the open door at the end of it seems to be getting farther and farther away with each step I take. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one.
I’ve known this day was coming since Scorpio told us about them entering this stupid war. I knew it was coming since the day we failed to get Eden away from them.
And now that it’s here, I don’t have the strength to face it.
I want to ride out. Find Scorpio, get one last night of happiness before everything turns to black forever. But I have no idea where to find him. I need these men who mean to kill him to show me the way.
Since I can remember I’ve wished to have the ability to turn back time and change what happens. But never as hard as I’m wishing for it now.