Chapter 19
19
CAJUN SPICES LINGERED IN THE AIR and still tingled my tongue. Today had been ideal weather for an outdoor feast. Overcast skies had kept the temperature mild, and Julia’s husband, Samuel, had blended the perfect amount of heat for the food. Several long folding tables had been erected in their backyard, the tops covered with newspaper to make the cleanup easier. Steaming crawfish, corn on the cob, red potatoes, sausage, and garlic cloves had been spread down the middle of the tables for Julia and Samuel’s family, friends, and neighbors to gather around and dig in.
I’d eaten next to Julia’s cantankerous mother, Mrs. Anne, who complained nonstop about nicotine withdrawal and her latest attempt to quit smoking. The entire time I’d scanned the yard and back door, bracing for Micah’s appearance. Rationally, I’d known he wouldn’t show until later, but when it came to Micah Guidry, rationality seemed nonexistent. At least I’d been in the right frame of mind to swing by my house and change clothes before coming here. If wearing black was a no-no when eating beignets with powdered sugar, sporting white was a faux pas when feasting on boiled crawfish. I’d donned a cute multicolored polka dot top with cap sleeves, and navy shorts. Peeling and eating crawfish was a hands-on, messy business. But it was worth it.
After cleaning up from lunch, I’d helped Julia set out the desserts. I now sat in the back corner of the yard, beneath the shade of a pecan tree. It was the perfect spot to people-watch and keep an eye out for a certain librarian so I wouldn’t be taken by surprise. Julia and Samuel had moved to this house last year after they’d gotten married. With blending their families, they’d wanted more space. Julia’s two sons, from her deceased husband, attended college out of state but returned home on breaks and during the summer. Samuel’s daughter, Brooke, also in college, had moved in with them while attending nursing school locally.
Brooke, whom Samuel had received full custody of at birth, had instantly connected with Julia when she and Samuel had begun dating. Brooke’s own mother had never shown interest in her life, unless it involved selfish reasons.
Julia approached with a woman in tow. “This is my neighbor Debbie.”
Debbie appeared to be our age. We exchanged hellos, and it hit me how Debbie was a stark contrast to Julia’s ease. The woman wrung her hands at her middle, her face pale, as though she stood before a judge, about to be sentenced.
Julia swiped her long dark ponytail off her shoulder. “Debbie makes the best elderberry syrup for medicinal purposes, and she’s considering selling it.”
Ah. Things clicked into place now.
Debbie continued wringing her hands. “Well, I’m not sure. I’m just thinking about it.”
“Mom!” Brooke called from across the yard to Julia.
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard Samuel’s daughter call her that, but it still struck me in the heart. And by the budding emotions on Julia’s face, it still struck her right in the heart too. And it probably always would. I glanced down at my lap, my stomach sinking. When Claire had died, I’d wrestled with what I’d do if Hayley referred to me as her mom, especially with her being so young. I’d vacillated between correcting her and letting it go, deciding I’d leave it up to Hayley. In the end, it’d been an empty worry since it’d never happened. I swallowed hard, pushing back the disappointment I had no claim to.
“Coming!” Julia called back to Brooke. She placed a reassuring hand on Debbie’s shoulder, tossed me a wink, and departed.
I motioned to the chair beside me. “How did you start making elderberry syrup?”
Debbie lowered onto the seat. “Well, it began when my little girl kept having respiratory flare-ups each winter.”
An instant connection formed, every bit of my attention anchoring on her.
“I hated to keep giving her over-the-counter meds with ingredients I couldn’t pronounce, so I started researching natural remedies and came across elderberries. I tinkered with a recipe until I found the right combination.” Her posture eased. “It’s worked wonders for her immune system. And I feel this urging”—she held her fist to her chest—“to get it out there and help others with it.”
Admiration for this woman and her caring heart welled within me. “Do you think you’d like to open a storefront?”
“Um.” Her throat bobbed, and she leaned back. “I’m not sure. I’m making it at home now and giving it to family and friends.”
Her story mirrored Julia’s. As well as her lack of self-confidence with starting a business. If I’d learned one lesson with helping Julia, it was to begin small, and let God lead the way. “What if you start slow, like selling at a farmers market?”
Debbie’s eyes rounded, her pale cheeks yielding to color. “That’s a great idea.”
“You could also try to place your product with Nancy’s Naturals.”
The blush in her face vanished, and she gnawed her lower lip. “I love that store, but I’m too chicken to actually approach them.”
“Don’t be.” I leaned forward. “That’s how Julia began selling her cleaning products. I bet she’d introduce you to Nancy.”
Debbie considered that and sat a little straighter. “Okay. I’ll think about asking Julia.”
And I would most definitely mention it to Julia. Sweet rightness at that notion encircled my chest. “Just be sure to research your market first, and food safety requirements. And when you do sell your syrup, or anything else you create, do it at a competitive price.”
“Okay.” Her leg jittered, but her bright countenance confirmed her expanding confidence. “I can do that.”
I contained a whoop, not wanting to frighten the skittish woman. “What you’re doing is exciting and scary.”
“Yes.” She gave a full-body exhale. “It’s such a relief to talk to you and Julia about this. To people who understand.”
That rightness in my chest swelled. “Here.” I pulled a business card from my purse. “If you ever have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out.”
“Thank you.” She glanced at the card and rose. “Thank you so much. It was beyond nice meeting you.”
“You too.”
Debbie stepped away, brushing past Micah.
The spreading smile on my face halted. Micah . The sneaky ninja. Flutters erupted in my belly. He’d switched his pants for cargo shorts, the white polo remaining, indicating lunch at his sister’s had been tamer than boiled crawfish. His dazed stare lingered on my face. What was that look for?
He approached, lowering onto Debbie’s chair. “You like helping people.”
I scoffed. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
“That came out wrong.” He lifted his hand. “What I meant to say is you like helping people’s dreams come true.”
I pressed back into my seat. “Giving advice is hardly making dreams come true.”
“I think Julia would disagree. She went into great detail during the last library event about all you did for her business.”
“Julia,” I grumbled and scanned the people in the yard for her, coming up empty. What else had she gone into “great detail” about when talking to Micah? “She just needed some guidance.” And nagging. Lots of nagging. “I had Claire, and we had our grandma’s estate to start the café. Most people like Julia don’t have that advantage.”
He leaned, resting his elbow on the arm rest, edging him closer. “Who else have you helped?”
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
I shrugged. “I’ve given a few seminars for the chamber of commerce. But that was general advice to people likely there for the free lunch.”
“Which isn’t the same as actually getting your hands dirty and watching someone’s small business take off.”
I blinked. He couldn’t have said it better. The satisfaction I’d had with helping Julia’s aspirations come true had been one of the most rewarding accomplishments of my life.
“Have you thought about being a business consultant? Or a mentor?”
“Sure,” I deadpanned. “I’ll give up the café and start a consulting firm.”
“On the side. In your spare time.”
“I’m a single parent and the owner of a restaurant. I have no spare time.” And even if I did, expanding locations would soak it up. My fingers itched to reach for my phone and check my email for a response on the SBA loan. It’d been less than a week since I’d submitted the application. And the form said it could take up to twenty-one days for them to review it.
“It was just a thought. Especially seeing how much you light up when talking about Julia’s cleaning products or when you spoke to that woman.”
“Micah Guidry.” I layered my tone with mock chastisement, hoping to change the subject. “Were you spying on us?”
“Only you.” He shifted his chair closer, our armrests touching. “It’s pretty hard to keep my eyes off you.”
A bark of laughter erupted from me, and I relaxed, draping my arms on my chair’s rests. “That’s one smooth line you’ve got there.”
“It’s not a line. It’s the truth.” Not a trace of flirtation lingered in his eyes. No sirree. Just sheer determination.
My throat went dry.
He eased back in his seat, his stare holding, roaming over my face, pausing on my mouth.
Prickles of energy charged the air. With his arm on his chair rest and an inch of space between us, the heat from his body radiated against mine. Moving away felt too much like defeat. Like an acknowledgment that he affected me. His fingers reached across the gap and lightly caressed the side of my wrist. Pleasure cascaded over me, and two words came to mind. The eternal phrase of Uncle Jesse from Full House . “Have mercy!”
All I had to do was move away. Instead, I turned my arm, exposing the underbelly of the most sensitive part of my skin. He gently traced my blue veins, his fingertips dipping into my palm. I sucked in a breath. What was I doing? I was a grown woman playing the hand-equivalent of footsie in a public setting! This was wrong. On so many levels. And yet reluctance gathered deep within my muscles, holding me still, indulging in the moment. A moment, that when over, would leave me empty. With that sobering thought, I slid from beneath his touch, pressing my tingling arm to my stomach. “I shouldn’t have ... complied like that.”
A playful smile tugged at his lips. “I wouldn’t call it compliance. If anything, I’d testify you were an accessory in breaking the very rules you put in place.”
“Excuse me, Officer Guidry, but I did no flirting. And technically, you did all the touching.” I regretted the statement as soon as it flew past my tongue.
Mirth ignited in Micah’s eyes, and I rolled my own, shaking my head. I veered my gaze away from him and to safer views, to a bright green pecan husk that had fallen early. I focused on the movement next to it and found a baby crawfish scurrying backward. At least one mudbug always escaped at a boil.
“I haven’t seen you around the neighborhood.” Micah pumped his arms in exaggeration, mocking my speed-walking technique.
“Oh?” I feigned innocence, even though I had adjusted my exercise path to avoid his house. “Are you watching your street 24/7?”
“No. But it goes against how much you like structure and routine.”
“There’s nothing wrong with structure and routine.”
“I also haven’t seen you at the library since Tuesday.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. The rest of the week, when retrieving Hayley from the library, I’d remained in the car, with the engine running as though I were a getaway driver ready to flee a heist. The first time Hayley had asked what the rush was, I’d blamed diarrhea. A lie that had churned in my gut until actual diarrhea hit. Lesson learned. The second time I’d had a vendor meeting to discuss replacement options for the fryer. I’d purposefully planned it at a time that wouldn’t leave room for dillydallying at the library.
He tipped his head, angling a raised brow at me. “I think it’s more than booger books and Nellie’s stink eye that’s keeping you away.”
I knew where he was going with this. Knew and loathed it. I stared at the crawfish, silently imploring it to creep over and pinch Micah’s ankle. Just one little pinch.
“And it occurred to me if you weren’t interested in dating me, you wouldn’t have altered your life to avoid me.”
Or one big pinch. With both claws. “I’m not avoiding you.” I pushed to my feet.
“Sure looks like it.” He motioned at my movement to leave.
“I’m ... taking precautions. With this crawfish.” I pointed to the escapee, or at least to where it’d been.
Standing, he stepped over and nudged the pecan husk with the toe of his shoe. “Making up stories to get away.” He tsked. “The only precautions I think you’re taking are against falling head over heels for me.”
I scoffed. “You think mighty highly of yourself.”
“I don’t need to think highly of myself. I have evidence.” He leaned in, the stubble from his jaw barely grazing my cheek, his mouth almost on my earlobe. “The hand I touched. You’re still clutching it to your stomach.”
The backs of my knees prickled, my breath shallowing. I purposefully lowered my arm to my side.
He studied my face, satisfaction in his countenance, along with a hint of something else. Desire? “I like it when you blush. When you’re ... you.” Stepping back, he breathed in through his nose and released it. Slid his hands into his pockets. “I understand your concerns about Hayley. And I promise, if things don’t work out, I won’t let that affect my relationship with her.”
“Those are the perfect words and sentiment. But despite how hard we’d try, she would be affected.” I returned my gaze to the pecan husk, hoping my feelings for Micah would wither like the nut’s shell soon would.
“Okay. What if we ... secretly dated?” He gave a slow shrug, a teasing glint in his eyes.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Secret dating? That sounds like a headline for the National Enquirer .” My smile bled away. “Besides, secrets feel too much like lies.”
“I agree. Then our only course of action is to talk to Hayley about us dating.”
I laughed without humor. “Our only course of action is to remain friends.” Which kept Hayley, and my heart, safe.
He rubbed the back of his neck, an almost defiant reluctance taking up residence in his stance.
Julia’s tiny terror of a dog, Chewie, charged past us, barking up a storm, cornering the renegade crawfish against the back fence. Chewie wore a doggie shirt that read Don’t pet me. Appropriate for the unruly canine. The little crustacean squeezed underneath the boards, making a successful escape.
I tossed Micah an I told you so look.
He held a hand to his chest. “My apologies I ever doubted you.”
Chewie lifted his hind leg and peed on the spot where the crawfish had disappeared. I shook my head. At least Precious was a girl.
“You won’t believe what I found in the library drop box this past Thursday,” Micah said.
“Another squirrel?”
“No. Something far better. A Ziploc bag containing a gift card for gas and a book-themed travel mug. For the life of me, I can’t figure out who it’s from.”
“Hmm.” I rubbed my chin. “Sounds like someone’s trying to tell you to fill up your tank, and the mug, and hit the road.”
He narrowed his eyes, playfulness softening the planes of his face.
A playfulness I wanted to evade. “Your dad’s really nice.”
His expression shifted, sobering. “He is.”
“How’s his ankle doing?”
“Better.” He averted his stare. “We’re still waiting on the bone density results.”
“I’m praying for good news with that.”
“Thank you.”
Samuel and Wyatt approached, and I eased a step back, grateful for the brothers’ interference. Both tall and solidly athletic, they could’ve been twins. But where Samuel’s hair veered to a lighter shade of brown, Wyatt’s was nearly charcoal. Another stark difference was the leather eye patch Samuel wore, the result of a permanent injury he’d sustained in service for our country.
“I heard you’re a black belt in jiujitsu.” Undeniable admiration infused Samuel’s tone.
Micah nodded. “And I heard you’re both Green Berets.”
“Retired Green Berets,” Samuel said.
Micah clasped his hand to his wrist. “Thank you for your service.”
Samuel dipped his chin.
Wyatt’s quiet attention rested on Micah. “What gym do you go to? I’ve been thinking of getting back into jiujitsu.”
And that was my cue to extricate myself from the conversation and put some much-needed distance between me and Micah. I grabbed my purse, retreated past the remaining guests, and found Julia inside, in the kitchen.
She flipped off the faucet at the sink and grasped a dish towel to dry her hands. “I asked Samuel and Wyatt to leave y’all alone as long as possible.”
My scalp prickled. Had she seen us playing handsie? I turned my back to her, setting my handbag on the edge of the counter, next to her collection of recipe books. “There’s no reason to have done that.” Was she about to call me out on my little PDA session with Micah? I moved to the island and began methodically snapping Tupperware lids to the containers of leftovers. The open space of the area flowed into the living room, where Brooke and one of her friends watched TV. Hopefully their presence would save me from Julia’s verbal opinions of Micah and I being a couple.
She leaned her hip against the counter, wringing the towel in her hands. Not the appearance of a brazen matchmaking meddler.
I clasped the lid on a bowl of Creole crab dip. “Everything okay?” Opening the refrigerator, I placed the appetizer inside.
“I need you to remember how much you love me.”
My stomach sank, and I shut the fridge, the bottles in the door rattling. “What have you done?”
She motioned for me to follow, and follow her I did, down the hallway to their exercise room. Floor-to-ceiling mirrors covered one wall. Another sported a shelving system filled with free weights in varying sizes. An elliptical machine and a weight bench rounded out the space. Closing the door behind us, she winced. “I had Samuel do a sort-of background check on Micah.”
My jaw unhinged.
She raised her hands. “All completely legal.”
“And completely uncalled for!” Pulse pounding in my ears, I paced between the window and a freestanding punching bag set up in a corner. Each lap brought me closer to the bag, thoughts of throwing a hard punch becoming more appealing with every pass.
“I couldn’t help it. Whenever you talk about him, you light up.”
Oy to the vey . Maybe my Landry Mask wasn’t so effective after all.
“And then when I saw y’all together at the library event...” A goofy grin overtook her face, her fingers interlacing beneath her chin. “There was this force between the two of you.”
“You’ve watched Star Wars too many times.”
“And since I view you as a sister...” Her eyes widened, beseeching.
A sharp huff pushed from my lungs. “I can’t believe you’re trying to mollify me with that.”
“Well, I do.” She notched her chin, all the while radiating a mischievous glow.
I shook my head. “You’re more like your mama than you think.”
“If I were my mama, I’d have been spying on Micah myself.”
I pointed to the door. “Sending your Green Beret husband to do it is just as bad.”
“You’re right. You’re right.” She reached for a puddle of resistance bands resting next to a workout ball and began untangling them. “Don’t you want to know what he found out?”
“No. No, I don’t.” The irritation raking through my veins didn’t want to hear another word from Julia on what she’d done. On the line she’d crossed. I moved to the window overlooking the backyard, my gaze zeroing in on Micah as though I were a heat-seeking missile and he were my target. He still talked to Wyatt and Samuel. If Samuel had allowed Micah into his house, and around his wife and daughter, that had to be a positive sign, right? That he hadn’t found anything horrible from Micah’s past? Or was it a Green Beret strategy to keep enemies close? What if Micah had really relocated from Colorado for nefarious reasons?
I turned from the window to face Julia. “I changed my mind. But for the record, I want to state what y’all did was wrong with a capital W .”
Her gaze drooped to the floor. “You’re right. And I vow not to do any other Green Beret things ever again.” She slowly met my stare, one of her brows raising. “Unless you ask me to.”
“Thank you. Now, what did Samuel find out?”
A smile the size of the Superdome spread across her face. “Nothing.”
My shoulders sagged, and I turned, not wanting her to witness how relieved I was.
“See!” She pointed at my face in the mirror.
Darn you mirrors!
“That right there! I was right to do a little digging.”
“I’m only relieved for Hayley’s sake. And besides, a little digging involves a shovel. You used a backhoe. And dynamite and—”
“And since nothing came up on Micah, I can now proceed with what I want to talk to you about.”
I frowned at my best friend and the sharp turn in our conversation.
“A couple of weeks ago, you mentioned Hayley as a reason not to date him.”
Pooping parrots. Dropping my butt to the weight bench, I crossed my arms. “I seem to remember you being extremely gun-shy about dating because of your boys.”
Her head cocked. “That was different, and you know it.”
My arms slipped free of their hold. She was right. Her boys had been old enough to know and remember their father, and be traumatized by his passing. So many emotional ramifications had entailed, which later included the possibility of Julia dating again. Thankfully, they’d worked through those issues.
“I understand you don’t want to risk damaging Micah and Hayley’s relationship now that she’s opening up to someone. But if things don’t work out, you and Micah are both adult enough to have an amicable split.” She lowered onto the bench next to me. “Especially knowing how it could affect Hayley. And especially with what you told me about Micah’s past and his heart for helping kids with loss.”
Again, she was right.
“You’ve only considered the negatives to dating Micah when it comes to Hayley. What about the positives? If she’s opened up to him so quickly, imagine how much more that would happen if he was a larger part of her life.”
I studied my toes peeking out from my wedge sandals, uncertainty dithering in my core.
“He’s obviously a caring person. He jumped in with both feet to care for you, and by extension, Hayley. Plus, he has a good relationship with his sister and dad.”
The mentioning of his father highlighted another concern for Hayley I’d battled all these years. I caught a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror, rubbing the Crease, and dropped my hand. “Part of me has always wondered if there’s a father-figure hole in Hayley’s heart.”
Julia winced. “I know exactly how you feel. That was a big worry for me with the boys too.”
A worry she’d had that had been validated. My neck bent, and I pulled in a deep breath that did nothing to alleviate the tightness surrounding my heart. “Other than worrying about Hayley, I’m not sure if I’m ready. If I ever will be.”
Julia curled her arm around me in a side hug. “Well, one thing we do know, it’s like everything else in your life, you need to give this over to God.”