Chapter Thirty-Seven #2
Kathryn looked up. “Your father? But this letter is dated only a few days ago.”
“Keep reading,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Before his father dies and he does not have the chance to acknowledge him.
The silence Dulverton demanded of us was cruel.
Certainly, it was unnecessary after Gerrit grew old enough to understand what the duke had done and why.
I asked you for decency once before and received nothing.
This is an opportunity for you to redeem yourself.
You owe me this. And you owe Gerrit, too.
If you care anything for my son, you will tell him who his real father is and you will do it before it is too late.
Lijsbeth Van Draak”
Kathryn stared up at him with incomprehension on her beautiful face. “What on earth does she mean, real father?”
“She means that I am not the fourth Duke of Dulverton’s son. I am the son of Helmut Berg, the last duke’s stablemaster.”
***
Katie clamped her jaws shut just in time to catch her shocked gasp. Not that Gerrit would have noticed at this point. He was staring at nothing, and his face, usually so healthy and tan, was a sickly gray.
“Evidently my father—the last duke, that is—lied to me when he said that he’d not known Helmut Berg was his brother.
” He stared down at his hands, which were balled into fists and resting on his knees.
“He brought Berg to England along with my mother—his new, innocent seventeen-year-old bride—because he had realized he was impotent and he wanted a child of Van Draak blood—regardless of what he had to do for one. Helmut was the best way for him to get what he wanted.” He snorted softly.
“That was what he told my mother on their wedding night. On their wedding night. Can you imagine how she must have felt? She was just a girl.”
He shook his head, his expression one of disbelief and disgust. “Berg was not her lover then. There was nothing between the two of them other than a regular mistress-servant relationship. It was my fath—the duke—who orchestrated everything that happened. For the rest of his life he allowed me to blame her—and my real father—when he was the one who threw them together. All these years I believed my mother drove my father out of his house.” He gave a mirthless laugh.
“And now I find it was the other way around. All these years,” he said again, his voice tight with pain.
“I have ignored my real father and shunned my mother.” His eyes were like raw wounds when he finally turned to her.
“Good God. I am so ashamed of myself, Kathryn.”
Unable to keep her distance any longer, Katie set her hand over one of his clenched fists. He jolted at her touch but did not pull away. “How can you be ashamed for what you did not know? If anyone should be ashamed, it is them.”
The skin between his eyes puckered. “Them?”
“Yes, them. Not just the duke—although he bears the brunt of the blame—but your mother, Berg, and Mrs. St. Clare. All four owed you the truth. I do not care if the duke demanded their silence. Some things are too important to hide. And there was no excuse to keep the truth from you when you came of age.” She shook her head, dismissing the issue for the moment.
“There is a more important matter now—Mr. Berg’s health. Have you heard anything? Is he—”
“I received a letter from my mother this morning. She wrote to tell me that he is not at death’s door as he was when she arrived to care for him.”
Katie gave a sigh of relief.
Gerrit laced their fingers together. “I must go to Spenwood and repair what I can, Kathryn.”
“Of course you must!”
He kissed the back of her hand. “And I must apologize to both my mother and—and my father for what I have done and hope they will forgive me.”
Katie suspected neither of his parents needed an apology, but she knew her husband needed to give one. “Of course we must go—immediately.”
“I do not feel right asking you to embroil yourself in this sordid matter.”
She squeezed his big fingers so hard she felt her own bones grinding painfully.
“You mean after you stood by me during my sordid matter? Besides, you did nothing wrong, Gerrit. Nothing. All this”—she gestured to the letters— “happened before you were even born. It is time to leave the past behind and mend your relationships with both your mother and father. You cared greatly for him at one time.”
“I cared greatly for both of them.” He grimaced.
“I know my mother’s nature is frivolous, but I cannot deny she loves me.
As for Helmut…. He spent hours teaching me everything he knew.
He is the reason I can shoot and fence and box.
My father”—he pulled a pained face. “Lord. How bloody confusing. The duke was not interested in such physical pursuits. He could shoot adequately and handle a sword as well as any gentleman, of course, but he took no pleasure in either activity. It was Helmut who saw that I was able to defend myself against bullies at Eton. Helmut, my mother, and I spent so much time together we were just like a real family, I realize now. He accompanied us when we went riding or when we had picnics or went fishing.” He smiled faintly.
“My mother loves to fish—at least she used to—but could never bring herself to bait a hook. Helmut told me that was a man’s job.
” His smile faded. “After I caught them together so many of my childhood memories became tainted and ruined.”
“I cannot imagine any child wishes to see such a thing, so it is not to be wondered at.” Katie did not add what she was thinking—that the old duke’s behavior had callously destroyed what must have been a very close mother-son relationship, not to mention Gerrit’s love for his real father.
Gerrit stared at her without speaking, his face the inscrutable mask it often was. Would she ever be able to read him more clearly or know what he was feeling?
And then he opened his mouth and said the last thing she would have expected. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Kathryn.”
Katie’s jaw sagged and she had to blink rapidly to keep the tears at bay. “I—you—” she sputtered and then gave a watery chuckle and tried again. “Even better than excavating the largest intact belemnite?”
He gave a startled laugh. “Yes, Kathryn, even better than that.” He released her hand and then, with strength that delighted and aroused her, lifted her bodily onto his lap.
Katie smiled down at him and draped an arm around his shoulders before lightly kissing the tip of his beaky and much beloved nose. “When do we leave for Spenwood, my love?”