9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
ELLE
I couldn’t believe I’d just ran away from someone mid-conversation. What must Gray think of me? I cringed, feeling the weight of embarrassment settle on my shoulders as I slowed to a walk.
Placing my free hand on my chest to calm the wild pounding of my heart, I glanced down at the flyer I had been clutching in my other hand. It was a crumpled mess now. If my memory served me correctly, the email address on this flyer matched the one in my inbox. My eyes widened in shock as the realization of it all hit me. “Great,” I muttered to myself, my heart sinking. Did it have to be him? I had been seriously considering staying at the hostel and helping with the summer camp .
As I continued to walk back to my campsite, my mind was a jumble of thoughts, each colliding and tumbling over the other. Perhaps I was overreacting. I paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and tried to focus on the bigger picture. Yes, smashing his car was less than ideal and my last interaction with Gray had been one hundred percent cringe worthy. But was everything ruined now?
I’d loved every minute of my morning with the kids. It was the community project that dreams were made of. I almost couldn’t believe I’d stumbled upon it. It ticked all the boxes—God, working with kids, and fun. While participating in a summer camp required a level of responsibility, for some reason, these types of short-term projects didn’t drain me. If anything, they recharged me.
Not to mention Gray. Initially, I thought his kindness towards me was him flirting, but after watching him this morning, I could see he treated everyone with the same heartfelt kindness. He was fun, charismatic, and confident. The kids and other leaders gravitated toward him. I mean, I was drawn to him.
I resumed walking and navigated through the beachgoers, their laughter and chatter fading into the background, as I wrestled with my conscience. The right thing to do would be to tell Gray the truth. But, if he knew I’d hit his car and ignored his emails, I’m sure he wouldn’t be so keen to have me hang around. Then I’d have to find other accommodation. It would likely be some horrible hole of a place inland. No kayaking either. Oh goodness. Everything I wanted was right here.
I passed a beach café where aromas of coffee and baked goods wafted through the air. I should tell him. Shutting my eyes, I visualized the conversation. No, the conflict and awkwardness would be too much for me. Leaving didn’t sit well with me either, though.
Perhaps I didn’t have to tell him? Thankfully sixteen-year-old me—deep in my poetry era—thought [email protected] was a clever email address. So at least I was anonymous. If I corresponded with him via email, I could quietly sort out the insurance stuff and he would never know it was me. Could I do that? It wouldn’t exactly be lying.
Staying at the campgrounds was the easiest option, and I deserved a break after the yucky start to my road trip. Can you give me a pass here, God, if I don’t outright lie?
By the time I’d made my way back to Mabel I’d made up my mind. I’d mentally juggled every possible scenario, trying to fit the pieces of my dilemma into a neat puzzle. “ It’s fine,” I said to myself, the words sounding more like a chant than conviction. “Everything will be okay as long as Gray doesn’t know it was me.” It was a shaky solution, but it was all I had.
The van door creaked as I opened it, the familiar sound a small comfort. I slid into the driver’s seat, the cushion hugging me like an old friend. My hand, almost on autopilot, reached for my phone in the cup holder. His emails were calling to me.
With my heart thudding against my ribcage, I tapped on the email icon and opened his first message. My eyes hungrily scanned his words, searching for something, anything, that would make things better.
Email 1:
Subject: Regarding My Smashed Taillight
From: [email protected]
Hi,
Saw your note on my windshield. Straight to the point—do you have insurance? Dropped my car off at the shop a few minutes ago. I’ll send you the quote when I get it.
Regards,
Gray Hudso n
I scrolled to read the second email.
Email 2:
Subject: Regarding My Smashed Taillight
From: [email protected]
Hi,
Find the repair estimate attached. Let’s sort this out sooner rather than later.
Regards,
Gray Hudson
I opened the attachment and as soon as I saw the numbers relief filled me. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the headrest. My liability cover, a frail lifeline, would shoulder the weight of his damages. Thank you, God. All that remained were those daunting deductibles, like shadows cast over my road trip. Well, that and I had to hope that they wouldn’t send my premiums soaring. Frustration clenched my heart, but I’d make it work.
I took a deep breath. Tonight, I would respond to his email. I’d withhold my name, that way there’d be no need for a face-to-face confrontation. It was an imperfect plan, but I’d never claimed to be perfect. And this way I could stay. In fact, I would speak to Brenda now and get things set up so I could stay at the hostel.
An hour later, after I showered, I went in search of Brenda. A colorful note on the reception door guided me, “Find me in the dormitory kitchen.” The dormitories were tucked away from the rest of the campsites, so it took a bit of poking around the place before I located her. But I didn’t complain, as the walk helped me feel less stressed about my decision.
Finally, as I approached the kitchen, rich spices and something delectably savory danced through the air, tantalizing my senses and drawing me closer. I stood at the threshold of this industrial-type kitchen and knocked on the open door.
“Hey Brenda, am I interrupting?” My voice was tentative as I wanted to be respectful of her space.
Brenda, with her ever-welcoming smile, waved me in as she remained stationed at the stove, her foot now in a brace of sorts. “Oh no, honey, I always have time for you,” she replied, her voice full of warmth and affection. “How was the summer camp? Oh, and did Andy manage to help you with your car?”
I paused, needing a moment to process Brenda’s incredibly sparkly pink eyeshadow before I continued speaking. “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about. Andy said he needs to send Mabel to another mechanic, so I would need a place to stay for ten days. Gray mentioned the possibility of staying here at the hostel. Is that what you meant when you said leaders can stay free?”
“Oh my, I’m sorry about your van. But you must know it’s in excellent hands with Andy. Of course, you can stay. You know you’re invited to dinner too? All the leaders come.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this would all work out. “Thanks so much. That would be awesome. I don’t mind where I sleep, as long as it’s safe. I’ll even sleep on the floor.”
Brenda gently pushed at my shoulder. “I can do much better than the floor. One of the studio dormitories is empty. I kept it empty for Gray in case he needed it, but he said he’d rather bunk with the other guys. So, you’ll have some privacy.” I started walking toward my van, with Brenda hobbling beside me. “How was it leading with Gray this morning,” Brenda inquired, her eyes narrowing with curiosity.
My heart stuttered at the mention of working with him, and I struggled to decipher the cause. Was it because of the crash incident hanging over my head or something deeper that I couldn’t quite comprehend? I shook my head, trying to dispel the unsettling thoughts .
“Yeah, it was fine,” I choked out, as I nervously fiddled with the button on my dress.
Brenda’s gaze intensified, and her lips curved into a knowing smile that I couldn’t help but feel exposed me. It was as if she could see straight through me, detecting the emotions I was trying to conceal. I shifted, unable to meet her eyes, and prayed that she wouldn’t push the subject further.