Chapter Eight
Landry
“H ey.”
I bounce up from the bed when I hear Keegan’s voice, my heart pounding an erratic rhythm. My gaze flies to him to find him standing in the doorway. Somehow, he looks even better than he did an hour ago. Or an hour before that.
“Hey,” I whisper, hating the way my voice shakes, and I stutter. It’s a nervous habit I never outgrew.
His gaze drifts from me to Lily, who is still passed out in the bassinet, blissfully unaware of the existential crisis I’ve been having on the bed beside her since Gloria brought me a sandwich half an hour ago.
One minute, I convince myself I need to run to keep everyone safe. The next, I’m grasping for reasons to convince myself it’ll be just fine for me to stay. My head is a mess.
Hell, maybe I’m a mess in general. Maybe that’s what happens to girls like me. We don’t get it together when good things happen. We fall to pieces instead, so convinced that it has to be some trick, some way for the universe to fuck us over even harder a little bit later, that we ruin it ourselves. We’re Macbeth, paving the way to our own sad demise.
“She’s sleeping,” I blurt to Keegan. Great. I’ve been reduced to stating the obvious now. I squeeze my eyes closed and take a deep breath, trying to get myself under control.
“Come here,” Keegan murmurs, his voice soft.
I peel my eyes open to see him holding out his hand toward me. Of course I take it. Like a freaking moon being drawn into his field of gravity.
His arms close around me, and even though I shouldn’t, I burrow in, burying my face in his throat. I let him hold me, hoping maybe he can stitch all my broken pieces into something that makes sense again.
He did it once before.
That day in Colorado Springs, he gave me strength in a way nothing ever has. I felt powerful when I left his room. Even though it broke my heart to leave, I left with a purpose beyond just running. This time, I wasn’t running from something. I was running to protect something that mattered. Him.
It made all the difference in the world.
I didn’t bend or break. I protected him. And then I protected our daughter. I want to keep doing that…protecting them. But I want to do it here, with them. Not locked away as some MC slave. Not sold to the highest bidder. Not buried in a shallow grave, wherever Garrick decides to stash my body.
Keegan places his hand beneath my chin, tipping my head back until our eyes meet. With deliberate slowness, he dips his head, brushing his lips across mine.
I can’t fight the whimper climbing up my throat. I can’t fight the way my body responds to him. I can’t fight him.
“I’m going to keep you and Lily safe, Landry,” he vows against my lips as if reading the turmoil in my mind. Before I can respond, he sweeps me up into his arms.
I cling to his shoulders as he crawls onto the bed and then lays me out. My heart beats a thousand miles a minute when his lips brush mine again. But he doesn’t take it any further. He simply groans and rests his forehead against mine momentarily before settling beside me.
Once he’s pulled the blankets up over us, he pulls me into his arms, his lips brushing my crown. “Sleep, sweetness. I’ve got you.”
I’m too tired to argue.
My eyes close, and I sleep harder than I have in a long time.
My dreams are the same as usual. That day with Keegan. Running. Garrick and the MC cornering me in an alley in St. Louis. The hopeless realization that there is no escape this time.
I jerk awake with a gasp as Garrick lunges for me.
My heart jolts against my ribcage in an unsteady rhythm.
“Lily,” I gasp. I need to get my daughter. I need to protect her.
“Easy, Landry baby,” Keegan rumbles, wrapping one arm around my waist before I can lunge from the bed. “She’s safe. She’s asleep in the bassinet.”
I crane my neck, only drawing a breath when I see her sleeping peacefully, one fist pressed against her lips. My entire body goes weak.
I collapse back against Keegan, shivering.
“Are you okay?” he murmurs, brushing strands of hair away from my face.
“Yes. How long was I asleep?”
“A few hours. You were having nightmares?”
I jerk my chin in a nod, avoiding his intense gaze. “I should feed and change her again.”
“I already did.”
My eyes widen. “You did?”
“Mmhmm,” he hums, still watching me. “Found a bottle and formula in her diaper bag.”
I stare at him, my heart fluttering. He’s fallen so easily into the role of daddy. It’s beautiful and devastating at the same time. So much time was stolen from him already. It’s really not fair.
“I’m sorry,” I rasp.
His brows furrow.
“That you’re only just getting the chance to be her daddy,” I explain. “You lost so much time with her. It isn’t fair to you.”
“It wasn’t fair to you either. You didn’t ask to be sold or locked away.” He cups my cheek, stroking his fingers beneath my eye. “I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t know.”
“Please don’t do that,” I whisper. “Don’t apologize like you did something wrong. You were…” My voice cracks. “Until Lily, you were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Christ, I missed you every goddamn day, sweetness. One day with you, and you turned me inside out. You haunted me every day.” He strokes my cheek again. “All I had was your note, and it drove me crazy.”
I wrap my hand around his wrist, my eyes locked with his. “I t-thought about you so much.” I inhale a breath, reaching deep for a little courage. “When I felt like I couldn’t keep going, I…I remembered that day with you. I thought about Lily and how much you deserved to know about her.”
“Christ,” he groans, sliding across the bed toward me. “You’re killing me, Landry baby.”
“I don’t mean to.”
“I know. It’s you, sweetness. It’s having you right here in front of me again. It’s knowing you had my baby.” His eyes darken, a storm rolling through them. “It’s wishing you’d been right here in my arms for the last year.”
I don’t know what to say to any of that when it feels a little like he’s in my head, reading my thoughts, feeling the same things I do. It’s overwhelming in a way I like. So I don’t say anything.
Instead, I do the same exact thing I did back then. I lean forward, pressing my lips to his.
He grunts, his hand sliding into my hair to pull me closer. His tongue touches mine, sending a frisson of heat through me. He kisses me like he’s starving for me, growling against my lips.
I whimper into his mouth, squeezing my thighs together like that’ll help the ache between them any at all. I know better now, though. The only thing that helps is him between them. His fingers and tongue and cock. It’s him surging inside me, so deep I feel him in my soul.
“Keegan,” I moan, my hands sliding into his hair as the ache becomes unbearable. I need him to make it better. To hold me together.
“Christ, say my name like that again,” he demands, rolling me beneath him. His body settles on top of mine, and I arch into him, wanting every inch of him pressed to me.
“Keegan,” I moan again, willing to give him anything in this moment.
He nips my bottom lip, one hand slipping between us. His fingers glide along the sensitive skin of my waist, beneath my shirt. I practically quiver underneath him, so damn eager.
“I dreamed about you every damn night,” he groans, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of my pants. “I need to touch you again, need to feel you coming apart for me. I need to know this isn’t a dream this time.”
“Yes,” I gasp, understanding exactly how he feels. I need it too, so damn badly I feel like I might shatter into pieces if he isn’t touching me soon. If I wake up this time and all of this was another dream…I might not survive it. I’ll just crack apart, splintering to ash and dust.
He dips his head, wrapping his lips around my nipple.
I cry out…and then cry out again when he shoves his hand into my panties. His fingers glide across my bare skin, sending waves of pleasure through me.
“Fuck,” he groans. “You’re soaked for me, baby.”
He isn’t wrong. I think I’ve been wet since he kissed me the first time. Maybe since I saw him standing in the hallway at his shop. That’s the power he has over me. That’s how intensely I want him.
He nudges my legs apart, his thumb teasing along my slit.
“Please,” I whimper, rocking against his hand. “Please.”
“Is this what you need?” He presses his thumb to my clit, grinding in a firm circle.
I sob his name, my hips arching from the bed.
He teases me relentlessly, dragging me right to the edge of a powerful orgasm within seconds.
“Fall for me, sweetness,” he whispers, his lips against mine. “I’ll catch you.”
I whimper, rocking against his hand as he thrusts two fingers in and out of me, his thumb steady against my clit. “I…I…”
A heavy knock practically rattles the bedroom door on the frame.
The orgasm that was right there just…vanishes…as my heart slams against my ribcage. I whip my head in that direction, practically flying from the bed, away from Keegan.
He growls a soft curse, glowering at the door like he wants to murder whoever is on the other side.
“Yo! We’ve got shit to discuss, motherfucker,” a deep voice rumbles from the other side. “Get your big ass out here.”
“Motherfucking giant,” Keegan mutters. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but he raises his voice to shout, “Give me a minute!”
“You’ve got five!” the man on the other side shouts back. “Bring the baby with you, or I’m telling my wife that you’re mean to me.” Heavy steps sound as he stomps down the hall.
Complete silence reigns for a moment before Keegan whips his head in my direction, his eyes narrowed. He looks mad as hell.
“Come here.”
I quickly shake my head, taking a step away from the bed. “I…um, it’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
I shrug helplessly, not entirely sure how to answer that question. I was in his arms two minutes ago, ready to fall apart for him. But that isn’t what I came here for. The last thing he needs is this. Is me.
“It’s just not,” I mumble.
His eyes narrow to slits as he hauls himself from the bed, looming like a pissed off wall. God, he’s massive. And massively freaking gorgeous when he’s mad.
He stalks toward me as if determined to finish what we started.
I back away, my heart thudding hard. If he gets his hands on me, I’ll forget again. I’ll let myself believe I can have this. I’ll fall even harder for him. And when it all comes tumbling down, he’ll be the one who gets hurt in the end.
He doesn’t seem to be on the same page as he stalks me across the room like a panther moving with lethal grace. I wedge myself between the bathroom door and Lily’s bassinet, but not even that saves me.
He snatches me out of the corner, hauling me up against his chest with a growl rumbling in his chest. “You ran from me once already. You aren’t doing it again.”
“Keegan, please.” I squirm in his arms, not sure if I’m trying to get free or meld us into one being.
His hand curves around my jaw, tipping my head back. His eyes glitter with intent as they lock with mine. “You and Lily belong to me, Landry. I’m keeping you.”
“I…”
He growls before he swoops, kissing me hard on the mouth. And I realize everything I just told myself means absolutely nothing. Because when it comes to him, there are no rules. I have no defenses. I’m just a quivering ball of need.
“You aren’t running again,” he growls against my lips. “Promise me.”
“I promise.” The words are out before I can call them back, sealing my fate. Perhaps sealing his too. I’m selfish and weak, but I can’t deny that this is what I want. To stop running. To stay.
I want to watch my daughter grow up.
I want to know what real freedom tastes like.
I want him and the future I spent so long dreaming about.
And I want it enough to risk everything.
He kisses me again, softer this time, but his taste is no less potent. His touch is no less deadly. I tremble against him, caught in his field of gravity, unable and unwilling to free myself now.
Five minutes later, I understand exactly why he was cursing a giant when the biggest man I’ve ever met stomps toward us from the far side of the living room with a big smile plastered across his face and his gray eyes light.
“And here we go,” mutters a dark-haired guy in an expensive suit.
The guy standing beside him, a hunk in glasses with tattoos up and down his arms, just laughs quietly.
“About damn time you brought her out here,” the giant says, rubbing his hands together like a little kid as he peeks down at Lily. “Holy shit. She’s tiny.”
“No, she’s normal-sized, Giant,” Tate says dryly from the couch. “You’re just too goddamn big.”
“Haters gonna hate,” Giant—is that really his name?—retorts without even glancing at Tate. “It’s not my fault God made you fun-sized, you asshole.”
“Landry baby, this is Cormac Carmichael,” Keegan sighs, shaking his head. “For obvious reasons, everyone calls him Giant. And this is Finn and Jude.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Landry,” Jude says.
Finn lifts his hand in a quiet wave.
Giant glances up at me, flashing me his dimples. “Nice to meet you, sweetheart. Your little girl is precious.”
“Jesus Christ. You’re like an overgrown child,” Tate says, chuckling from the couch. “As soon as a new baby gets here, you’re first in line, trying to make sure you’re the favorite.”
“Uh, yeah. And that’s precisely why I’m always the goddamn favorite.” Giant flips him off. “You’re just mad that none of the kids like you because you stab them with needles.”
“Asshole,” Tate says, laughing.
“Will the two of you please shut the fuck up before you scare the hell out of Landry?” Cash mutters, meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry about them, sweetheart. Unfortunately for all of us, they’re always like this.”
“He’s not lying,” Jude says, grimacing.
“You’re just mad because you’re never the favorite,” Giant says.
“My wife and babies like me just fine,” Jude retorts.
“How sad for them,” Giant says, deadpan, before glancing at me again. “Can I hold her?”
“Hell no,” Keegan answers before I can, squeezing my waist in silent reassurance. “You aren’t holding my baby, Giant. I’m not going to have her following your big ass around learning all your tricks before she even learns to walk.”
Giant’s face falls, which has everyone else laughing at him.
I shift from foot to foot, feeling bad for him. He seems…nice. Kind of wild, but nice. “Maybe you can hold her later?” I offer.
He flashes me his dimples again. “I like you.”
“Um, thanks?”
He chuckles before peeking down at Lily again. “This is the little one we’re protecting?”
“Both of them,” Keegan says. “Until Dillon has those motherfuckers behind bars, I want them guarded every minute of the day.”
Giant jerks his chin in a nod, sobering. “They should move in here until Finn and I have your place wired up. We’ve already got this place fortified. Bulletproof windows. A safe room. State-of-the-art security system and cameras. They’ll be safe here.”
“That’s the plan,” Keegan murmurs.
I shoot a glance at him, surprised by the news. This is the first I’m hearing of it.
“It’s okay,” he promises, as if sensing my nerves. “I’ll be right here with you, and you won’t be under lock and key. You can go anywhere you want so long as one of us is with you.”
“I’ll be your bodyguard,” Giant says, far more serious now than he was when he was joking with his brothers a few minutes ago. “If anyone wants to get to you or that baby, they’ll have to go through me.” He flashes me a mercenary grin. “And believe me, not many are stupid enough to try that.”
“I…” I lick my lips, my mind spinning again. This feels real now, in a way it didn’t before. We’re really doing this…fighting back. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt trying to protect me,” I whisper. “You didn’t sign up for that.”
“That’s exactly what we signed up for,” Jude disagrees, his voice soft as he meets my gaze. “We don’t let pricks like the Sons of Loki lock up innocent women or kidnap babies. If we do, we’re no better than they are, and that’s not us.”
I stare at him, not sure how to respond.
“Giant owns a private security firm,” Keegan murmurs into the silence. “Finn runs a cybersecurity company. He’ll be working to ensure any trace of you stays hidden. And Jude here is a lawyer.” Keegan pauses. “Your lawyer.”
“My lawyer?” I gape at him. “Why do I…?” My stomach churns as realization dawns. “The stuff I stole,” I guess.
Keegan jerks his chin in a nod, grimacing. “Jude will work with Dillon to ensure everything is handled.”
“You mean to ensure I don’t go to jail.”
“You aren’t going to jail, sweetness.”
“Maybe not, but I could.” I glance at the men gathered around the room, the small army Keegan gathered to keep me and our daughter safe, each chosen for their skill sets. “You should know what I’ve done if you’re going to help me.”
“You don’t owe us answers, Landry,” Finn says, the first time he’s spoken. “Whatever crimes you’ve committed, you committed with good reason. That makes you a survivor, not a criminal.”
“I doubt the law agrees.”
“Maybe not, but the law doesn’t see shades of gray,” Jude says. “It wasn’t written that way. People are different. And everyone in this room has done things the law would disagree with to protect people who deserved protection, people we care about.” He nods at Lily. “She deserves it. So do you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“Maybe not, but we married women a whole lot like you,” Cash says. “Everyone has a past. Everyone has a story. What happened to you doesn’t make you less worthy of our protection.”
Keegan touches my cheek, drawing my attention. “He’s right, baby. You aren’t less worthy because you fought to keep our daughter safe. If anything, it makes you more worthy. Let them help you.”
I hesitate for a long moment, glancing around at the men patiently waiting for my answer, men so much different than those I’ve always known that it’s almost laughable. This is what honor looks like. It’s what loyalty feels like. I’ve done nothing to deserve it from these men, but I have it anyway.
They’re here right now, willing to fight for Lily and me simply because Keegan asked. Simply because they decided I’m worth the fight. Not because they want to own me. Not because I’m property to be bartered or sold. But simply because they’ve decided I deserve it.
“Okay,” I whisper, a lump of gratitude in my throat.
Relief flickers across Keegan’s face, his eyes falling partially closed. “Thank you,” he whispers as if I just did him a favor when, in reality, he’s been the one saving me since the day we met. He’s the one who deserves thanks, not me. But he gives it to me anyway.