Chapter Ten
Landry
T he next few days are a whirlwind of activity and new faces. Everyone I meet is kind and welcoming, but being around so many people after being isolated for so long is overwhelming in a way I should have expected. I can’t seem to get my bearings between one round of introductions and the next.
Between the MC, their wives, and kids, and everyone in town they’ve enlisted to help protect our daughter, I’ve seen more faces than I can remember. And every single one of them is kind and sympathetic…they make me want to stay here, to believe I can have this life.
But after dredging up my whole life story for Keegan and then for Dillon, I feel wispy and insubstantial, like vital parts of my soul have been shredded into pieces. I can’t shake the feeling.
It doesn’t help that no one is really talking to me about what’s happening. The MC and Dillon are working on something, but every time I ask, they just tell me to let them handle it. I know I should be grateful for that, but not knowing makes me anxious as hell.
Keegan sticks close to my side through every moment, carefully watching over me and Lily. Watching him get to know and care for our daughter is the best part of every day. He’s already wrapped around her tiny fingers.
So are the MC brothers and their wives. She isn’t the only baby at the clubhouse, but every day brings a flurry of new gifts, as if the guys are competing to bring our daughter the most presents.
Samara told me that I might as well get used to it since they do it every time there’s a new baby. And they have a whole army of babies and little kids around here. Thinking about how much that must cost them stresses me out. But they don’t even bat a lash.
Regardless, the few belongings we arrived with quickly spiraled out of control. Lily has enough toys to last for five years. Their wives bring her clothes, shoes, blankets, and hairbows—some new, some passed down from their babies.
I don’t escape the gift-giving unscathed, either. Before I know it, the closet overflows with clothes and shoes…more than I’ve ever had in my life. They mean well, but it makes me feel guilty. What have I ever done to deserve all of this?
When Keegan strolls through the door on day five with his arms full of shopping bags, I finally snap.
“They can’t keep giving me things!” I cry, pressing my palms to my cheeks as I stare in shock. “It’s too much. How am I ever going to repay all of this?”
“Who said you need to repay it, sweetness?” he asks, dropping the bags on the chaise before immediately crossing to Lily, who is situated in a bouncy seat, babbling to herself. He squats in front of her, his expression soft. “Hey, baby girl.”
She stares up at him and coos softly.
“I said,” I grumble, trying to stand firm. It’s hard to do when he’s already pulling her out of her seat, whispering how she’s the sweetest baby alive. He’s too damn good with her. I melt like a Popsicle every time I see them together.
How do you stand firm when your panties are drenched, your nipples are hard, and all you can think about is how much you want him all over you again?
He hasn’t been since that first day. It’s my own fault, but it’s driving me crazy. I want him just as desperately as ever, but I’ve been dodging him, trying to avoid falling any deeper.
It isn’t working.
As soon as I see him with Lily, I fall anyway. As soon as he says that I’m his, I fall deeper. My walls crumble a little more as soon as he does something kind. He holds me every night, soothes me when I wake up from nightmares, guards me like I’m the most precious thing in the world…and I tumble a little bit deeper down the rabbit hole.
Resisting him is too damn hard when I don’t even want to do it. But I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to do here. I’m terrified that all of this will be plucked away at any moment. Garrick will find me, and I’ll lose him and Lily both.
How am I supposed to survive that?
I’ve spent days searching for that answer, and I still don’t have it.
How do you love someone when doing it may destroy them? When it feels like the only thing capable of destroying you? Losing Lily is going to rip me apart at the seams. If I fall any deeper for Keegan and then have to spend my life without both of them…I can’t survive that. Just the thought feels like it’s squeezing the air from my lungs.
“Baby,” Keegan says through a chuckle, standing upright. “You don’t owe anyone anything. Half of these guys have more money than they know what to do with. Buying her a few toys isn’t going to hurt their accounts at all. And I paid for everything else.”
I gape at him, stunned. “You paid for it?”
“Of course.” He brushes his nose along Lily’s head, turning those gorgeous eyes on me. “You’re both mine to take care of.”
I shift from foot to foot, avoiding his gaze. He’s been saying that a lot over the last few days. That I’m his. Every time he says it, I want to burrow into his arms and never come up for air again. But…
“It’s not your job to buy me stuff, Keegan,” I whisper. “You didn’t sign up for that.”
“And you didn’t sign up to go through a pregnancy alone, or spend four months raising our daughter alone,” he retorts softly. “This is the least you deserve from me.”
“Keegan.” I swallow, staring at him intently. “Do you–?”
“We’re moving to my place today,” he interrupts before I can ask if he blames himself for the MC getting their hands on me.
The question flees my mind as I stare at him with wide eyes, panic coursing through me. “Y-your place?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Where it’ll be just…us?”
“Yep.”
I gulp, my heart hammering. “Isn’t it safer here? Maybe we should just stay. I’ll even stop complaining about the gifts…”
Keegan narrows his eyes on me as if he sees right through my weak defenses and protests. But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he paces toward the crib he put together for Lily and carefully places her inside before cranking her mobile.
When he turns back to me, I’m caught between fleeing and falling at his feet. That look in his eyes—like he’s ready to eat me alive—is deadly.
“We’re moving to my place, Landry.”
I break his gaze, shuffling toward the bags he dropped on the chaise to poke through them. They’re full of more clothes for me and Lily.
His hand on my shoulder has me jumping out of my skin.
I quickly spin away, grabbing for the bags like they’re a lifeline. “I’m just going to put these away.”
“No.” He gently pries them from my hands. Clothes scatter all across the floor, but he doesn’t even look at them. His eyes are locked on my face as he steps over them, stalking toward me.
And I do exactly what I shouldn’t.
I back away.
His eyes darken as he stalks closer, a dangerous growl rumbling in his throat. I’m running again, and he knows it. But I can’t help myself, either. If he gets his hands on me…well, I’ll beg him to keep them there. I’ll spill all of my secrets, all of my fears. I’ll break for him.
I want to break for him so damn bad.
My knees hit the bed and I fall backward onto it.
He doesn’t even hesitate before crawling over me. I whimper, heat flowing through me as he pins me beneath him like I’m prey. After two years of being hunted, I should hate that, but it’s different with him. It’s always different with him.
I’m not afraid of him—not physically. But if anyone in this world has the power to break me into pieces, it’s him. It won’t take his strength to do it, either. It’s his love. It’s him and the way he cares for me. It’s the way he loves our daughter.
Fear, I understand. I’ve lived it most of my life. But love? That’s new. And it’s more terrifying than anything I’ve ever experienced. Because love means having something to lose. So long as I didn’t have that, Garrick couldn’t really hurt me. But now? With Keegan and Lily? He could destroy me entirely.
And I’m helpless to stop it.
“Why are you icing me out, sweetness?” Keegan asks.
“I’m not,” I lie.
“Yeah, you are,” he grunts. “You barely look at me. You get skittish every time I touch you. You talk to my sister and Samara more than you talk to me. You use Lily like a shield, keeping her between us like you’re fucking terrified what’ll happen if she isn’t there to keep me at bay. Why?”
He's right, damn him. I’ve spent the last five days doing all of that.
“I’m afraid,” I blurt.
“Of me?”
“No!”
“Then why? What are you so afraid of, baby?”
I bite my tongue, trying to battle back the truth hovering on the tip of my tongue. I’m afraid to let myself be loved. I’m afraid to need him. I’m afraid every damn minute of the day because he’s becoming vital to me…the one thing on this planet that could break me.
“Tell me,” he growls.
I shake my head desperately, denying him.
But Keegan doesn’t play fair. He doesn’t play by any predefined rules. He breaks them all and makes his own. His hands land against my stomach, his eyes locked on mine. A whimper climbs up my throat as he slowly tugs the fabric up my body, running those big, calloused hands all over me.
Just feeling his skin against mine is electric. His touch slowly erodes my defenses, sending them crumbling bit by bit.
“Lily,” I gasp, clinging to her like a shield again.
“Is already asleep,” he says, his voice softer. “Tell me.”
“I’m afraid to let myself love you!” I cry desperately, my heart tangled in knots as the truth bursts from my lips in a ragged exhale.
He groans, his hands trembling against my ribcage as he leans down, slowly, so damn slowly, and brushes his lips against mine. “It’s already too goddamn late for that, Landry baby,” he whispers. “I know you love me. I see it every time you look at me.”
I whimper because he’s right. It is too late. It was too late a year ago. And every minute since I’ve been here, I’ve just been fighting the inevitable, trying to deny a reality that won’t change. I love him. So damn much it’s terrifying.
“Kiss me,” I plead, desperate to shut my mind off and just feel. For once, I don’t want to think, or overthink, or worry. I just want the peace I find in his arms.
He crashes his lips against mine with a broken groan. I arch into him, bowing to the desire seething between us. It’s always been there, raging like a river. And now, I’ve dove off the cliff right into the depths of it.
“Fuck,” he growls when I thrust my hands into his hair, pulling him closer. My legs twine around his waist, as if I can keep him right here with me through sheer physical strength and willpower alone.
But I don’t think he intends to go anywhere, anyway.
He nips my bottom lip and then plunges his tongue back inside, pillaging my mouth. Claiming it as his. And I feel that kiss in my soul. It shakes desperation loose, makes me greedy.
“Please,” I gasp, rocking beneath him. “Please, Keegan.”
“What do you want, sweetness? You want me to make you feel good?” he asks, sliding one hand under my shirt to yank it up my body. “You want to come for me?”
“I want you!” I cry softly. It’s nothing but the truth. I don’t want his hands or his mouth or one single piece of him. I want every part of him. I need him more than air right now.
He groans again, another broken, desperate sound as he rips my shirt off over my head. I sob quietly when he falls on me this time, wrapping those perfect lips around one nipple.
“They’re so much bigger now, Landry baby. So much sweeter.” He sucks hard, and I know he can taste the milk dripping from them, but he doesn’t seem to mind it. In fact, he growls, rocking his hips against mine and sucks harder. “So fucking sweet.”
I claw down his back, trying to stay quiet so we don’t wake up Lily. But it’s so damn hard when he’s all over me.
His hand slips beneath the waistband of my leggings, his fingers sliding against my skin. I arch and mewl and beg, frantic to feel him right there again, sending me over into heaven.
He drags my pants down my legs instead, leaving me bare beneath him.
“Fuck,” he groans, those gorgeous eyes eating me up as he leans back on his heels to stare at me. “You’re so much softer now, Landry. Every fucking night, I hold you and I feel like I’m going to break in half because I’m not inside you.”
I reach for him, choking on his name. My hand closes around the bulge in his pants. My core clenches, memories from that day slamming into me. The feel of him inside me, his piercing dragging along my walls. The way he was so gentle and so rough at the same time…
“Please, Keegan,” I plead, squeezing him through his pants. “Please.”
“No.”
My gaze flies to his, shock rushing through me.
“Not yet, sweetness,” he breathes, his eyes on fire with need. “Not until you’re soaking my face again. Been thinking about it for a goddamn year. I need your taste on my tongue again before I lose my fucking mind.”
“Yes, yes, please.” I arch and babble and plead, willing to give him anything if it gets him inside me any faster. If it gets his mouth on me again.
I’m a bundle of raw sensations and starving need beneath him as he kisses his way down my body, lavishing attention on me. Spoiling me with it. Every stretchmark that appeared when I was pregnant, he seeks out with his lips, planting reverent kisses across my skin.
By the time he drags my legs over his shoulders, I’m already on the verge, so damn close it’s not going to take much to send me over.
“Christ, I missed this,” he says…and he sounds a little like he could cry right now. “So pretty and pink. So wet and mine. God, Landry baby. You know how many times I’d wake up with my cock in my hand and your name on my lips, the ghost of you on my tongue?” His fiery eyes meet mine. “How many times I wanted to tear the fucking world apart just to taste you again?”
“I t-thought about you too,” I gasp, writhing beneath him. “I dreamed about you so many times.”
He groans, a storm raging in his eyes. “It’s not a dream this time, sweetness. I’m right here.”
“Keegan, I lo… Oh!” I sob, my hips bowing from the bed as he lunges, burying himself face-first between my legs.
Just like the first time we were together, there is nothing slow or gentle about him as he eats. He’s a starving beast, feasting after famine. He licks and sucks, his tongue running in circles around my clit before he thrusts it inside me.
I shatter with his name on my lips and blood rushing in my ears.
“Again,” he growls, not even lifting his head. “Give me another one, baby.”
There’s no way I can when every lick, every touch, feels like it might splinter me apart. But I do anyway. As soon as he wraps his lips around my clit and sucks, I crack apart again, falling to pieces with a gasp.
He doesn’t give me a second to breathe before he’s on top of me again, fumbling with his pants as he kisses me as if he intends to fill me with his air. I taste myself on his tongue, taste my pleasure on his lips…and another piece of my soul stitches itself back together.
“I hope I get you pregnant again,” he growls, his cock sliding against my clit as he yanks my legs up over his hips.
I feel the cool metal of the piercing, and the dichotomy sends me spiraling toward heaven again. Or maybe that’s his confession.
“I want to be there for every fucking minute this time, sweetness,” he groans, wrapping his lips around my right nipple. “I want to see you growing with my baby.”
“Keegan,” I whimper, clawing down his back.
“Keep saying my name just like that. You sound so fucking sweet begging for my baby.” He lines up at my entrance, pushing inside inch by inch.
My head flies back, a gasp of ecstasy pulled from somewhere deep in my chest. This is what I missed. This is what heaven feels like.
“Christ, you look so good taking my cock.” He pumps his hips, burying himself to the hilt. He pauses for a moment, his hands locked around my hips like he’s trying to hold himself in check, trying to rein himself in.
I clench my inner muscles around him instinctively. I don’t want him in control. I don’t want careful, gentle Keegan. I want all of him, every damn inch, every single sensation. All of his power and desire.
He growls my name like a warning, so I do it again. And then again.
He cracks above me, trembling with the force of his desire as he rears back and then slams into me in one hard thrust. Pleasure rips through me, pulling a soft cry from my lips.
“More!”
He heeds my command like a man possessed, growling and snarling as he surges into me again and again, his hips slamming against mine. His balls slap against my ass with every hard thrust. The bed rocks and shakes beneath us. A fleeting worry that we’re going to wake Lily whispers through me, but when he thrusts again, that thread of worry gets ripped away in a tide of ecstasy.
“Christ, Landry,” he growls, sucking and biting my nipples. “I want the feel of my cock ingrained in your memory, branded so you never forget how good you’re supposed to feel.”
“I n-never forgot,” I gasp, lifting my hips to meet every wicked thrust. “I’ll never forget.”
He groans my name like I’m wrecking him. It’s the sweetest sound, one I hope I get to hear over and over again. One I think I’ll kill and die for.
“I need you to come, sweetness.” He lifts my leg over his shoulder, allowing him to strike deeper. He fucks me harder, pounding into me like a madman. “Christ, I need to feel this perfect pussy clamping down on me, stealing my fucking soul.”
“Please, please,” I beg. I plead. I fucking shake and quiver, ruined in ways I don’t think can be undone.
“I love you,” he whispers…and I fall to pieces.
I shatter with a strangled cry, the whole world going white as a wall of ecstasy slams into me, dragging me under. But I don’t fall alone.
I hear him calling my name as I writhe and convulse. Feel him groan against my throat as his cum splashes inside me again and again, coating me in the strength of his desire and the evidence of his love.
And I admit the truth I’ve been fighting for days.
“I love you, too.”
“Landry baby,” he breathes, falling on top of me. Shuddering against me. Clinging to me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
I cling too, unwilling and unable to let him go now. Even if it leads to ruin, I can’t let him go.
In the stillness, as the sweat dries on our skin, he pulls me closer, his lips ghosting along my cheek. “I’ve loved you since Colorado, sweetness.”
I choke on a sob, clinging to him as if the force of my grip will keep him in my arms forever. “I’m so fucking scared they’re going to take you from me or hurt you, Keegan. I can’t…I can’t…”
“Shh, baby, I know.” He cradles me closer, his fingers drifting through my hair. “You’re allowed to be afraid, but I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I’ve got you. I promise you that they aren’t going to take you from me.”
“You can’t p-promise that.”
“Yeah, I can.” He cranes my head back, meeting my gaze. The conviction in his eyes, the absolute certainty that he can give me this, steadies me in a way nothing ever has. “Marry me, Landry.”
I gape at him with wide eyes. “What?”
“Marry me,” he repeats, his voice steady and sure. “My ring on your finger means you’ll never belong to them. You’ll be mine in every way.”
“I…”
“Think about it, sweetness,” he whispers. “It’s easy to make a woman with no ties disappear. It’s a lot harder to make one with a family vanish. They know it, too.” He wraps his pinky around my ring finger. “And my ring right here will remind you, every fucking day, that you belong right here. When you feel like running, you’ll know you have someone to run to, not something to run from.”
“You can’t just marry me to protect me, Keegan,” I object feebly. Being tied to him sounds so damn good, like a dream come true. But I don’t want to be something he regrets, someone he marries because he’s the kind of guy who would make that sacrifice for my protection. He deserves better than that.
“Who says I am?” His eyes blaze with heat when they meet mine again. They burn with something else too, some level of desire I’ve never seen before. “I want my ring on your finger because you’re mine, Landry. Because I’ve loved you every single second of the last year, and that will never change.”
Conviction and devotion vibrate in his voice in equal measures. This isn’t something he just decided on a whim, or something he’s doing for me. I think maybe it’s something he’s been thinking about…maybe since we met a year ago.
“Yes.”
His eyes flutter closed, a look of complete bliss on his face.
Seeing him wearing that expression stitches together another of my broken pieces. The ground firms beneath my feet, and my tenuous hold on hope becomes a little more solid.
Because of him. Because this man is willing to fight for me when no one else ever has. And he loves me in a way I don’t think anyone else ever will.
It’s enough. God, it’s more than enough.