Chapter 22
R aphael
At the rumble of gravel under my wheels, Alex stirred. It was after two in the morning, and we’d finally made it home having left the heli at Inverness airport, returning to where I’d left my car, rather than flying all the way home. It meant a drive from there to the McRae estate, but I’d need the car to transport her across the Highlands tomorrow, so I’d told her to close her eyes and sleep. My worries over her being drugged had faded. She’d shown no effects. Getting to her in time had worked, thank fuck.
Tiredness had nothing on me. Throughout the dark drive, I’d buzzed with adrenaline and a deep sense of rightness at what I’d done. At Alex coming home with me to where I could guarantee her safety because I’d be right there with her in my territory, my people around us.
She stretched in my passenger seat and peered out at the towering stone walls of Castle Braithar. “You live here?”
“For the past few months. I used to share an apartment with my sister until she shacked up with my best friend. I gave them space and accepted the spare rooms here. Gordain owns the castle. He likes to have a bodyguard on-site.”
“Gordain. He owns the bodyguard service, doesn’t he? You said he set up the team to guard his son-in-law.”
“Aye. Well remembered.”
“Then this is where the rock star lives?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Don’t tell me you’re a fan of Leo’s. I’ll have to kick ye out.”
She giggled. “I don’t fangirl over anyone. I was just wondering about showing up unannounced.”
“It’s late. I’ll introduce ye to the family in the morning.”
When Alex’s curious gaze turned into a nod, I jumped from the car and rounded to open her door, offering her a hand to climb out. Then I grabbed our bags and took the princess home.
My rooms in the castle were hidden away at the back, off a corridor that was rarely used by anyone other than me. I let us in, bracing myself at the strange reality of being here with Alex, then showed her into the big room that was both my bedroom and living space.
Through her eyes, I saw the two-seater sofa and coffee table to the right, and the king-sized bed to the left. On the far wall, a counter ran the length with an office chair scooted up to it and stacks of books and other personal possessions on top. I hadn’t personalised it since Valentine had moved out.
I snapped on a lamp. “Make yourself at home. It isn’t much, but it’s private, and you’re safe here.”
She slipped off her sandals by the door, her focus skipping over my world condensed down to this space. “You brought me home to a castle. I bet that impresses all the girls.”
I entered the bathroom and pulled the light cord. “I wouldn’t know. Go ahead and take the first shower. I’ll grab a blanket and pillows for the sofa.”
She gave me a small smile, took her bag into the bathroom, and closed the door.
For a beat, I stood in the centre of the room, reeling with all that had happened in the past few hours. Getting fired, spotting the photographer, then escaping the palace. I was running on empty. In desperate need of sleep. Yet I still felt as much on edge as ever.
I got to work making myself a bed on the couch. Bringing Alex here was an act of friendship, nothing else. Tomorrow, she’d go home, and I’d have no reason to be around her anymore. I got stuck on trying to persuade myself that we could be friends. We couldn’t. An ache formed in my chest at the thought of letting her go. I just needed my body to catch up with what my brain already knew.
Alex emerged from the bathroom in a hoodie and silky shorts. I swallowed then closed myself away to take the world’s fastest shower. I’d killed the water and was towelling off when voices filtered through from the bedroom.
“Welcome to our home, Your Royal Highness.”
“It’s Alex, please. You must be Gordain. Who’s this little guy?”
Shite. I scrubbed the water from my skin and tugged on a pair of basketball shorts, opening the bathroom door with a t-shirt half over my head.
Across the room, Alex stood in the doorway, grinning, and with Gordain’s grandson’s tiny hand in hers in a mini handshake.
Gordain’s eyes met mine over Alex’s head. “I didn’t mean to intrude. This one’s teething again and keeping his parents up. I saw your car so figured you’d come home and decided to check in on ye.” A grin stole over his face. “Didnae realise you’d brought a lass.”
“This isn’t a regular occurrence?” Alex kept her gaze light.
Gordain snorted. “With this one? Never.”
I sighed, because he wasn’t going to let me live this down, and swooped in on Torran. “You’ve already done introductions. C’mere, Tor. Meet royalty.”
I swiped the bairn from his grandfather’s tattooed arms. Gordain was as fit and healthy as any of us, despite being in his sixties and a man I respected as a father figure.
I hoisted the little boy in the air so he giggled, and we sketched a bow to Alex. She laughed, and Torran flapped his arms. Both he and his older brother, Finn, were our principals, protected along with their parents, and that meant each of us spent one-on-one time with the kids so they knew and trusted us.
“I’ve naw seen ye in a while, and here ye are, popping out new teeth.” I frowned at the bairn. “But what’s this about keeping everyone awake? That’s no good.”
Torran released a string of baby babble, some of his sounds close to actual words but not there yet.
I twisted back to find Alex’s gaze on me, her cheeks flushed pink.
She turned to Gordain. “I’m really sorry to show up unannounced.”
“Nae bother. You’re welcome here. I’m sorry again for the interruption, though I’ve got to say it was a surprise when a princess opened the door.” His mouth fell open in a delighted smirk, and he regarded me. “Trust Raphael to keep me guessing. Give me back the bairn and I’ll leave ye in peace.”
I guided Alex away from the door. “No can do. We’re keeping him. See ye.”
I shut Gordain mostly out, and Torran gave a sweet little laugh, peeking through the gap at his granddad. Then he yawned, and I relented, opening it back up to return him. “Think he’s tired now.”
Gordain accepted him. “Then I’m glad I came down. Night, folks.” He gave me one last searching look that told me everything about how he worried for me and whatever the hell I was doing, then left us.
I locked the door. Put my back to it. “I’m sorry about that. I should’ve messaged him.”
“It’s okay. Gordain seems lovely, and seeing you with a baby was—” She mimed mind blowing.
“He’s like a father to me. Or better. He’d taught me what a father should be. I told ye what my actual dad is like.”
Alex perched on the bed and unwound her hair from the complicated updo she’d worn to the gala. Her make-up was gone now, too, and by degrees, she changed from public person to herself.
My stare only intensified when she stripped the hoodie over her head.
She patted the mattress. “Come here.”
I couldn’t. I was trapped between two opposing forces: wanting her so badly I could hardly breathe, and needing to give her a safe space with no expectation.
“After the night you’ve had…” I began.
She chuffed an unfunny laugh then reached for her hoodie pocket, extracting a scrap of white lace. “This was hanging on your shower door.”
It was the mask she’d worn in Hell. The one I’d used to get myself off to thoughts of her. Heat flooded me.
“I’m not going to ask why it was in there, but I am going to do this.”
Alex pushed up on her knees and took the hem of her t-shirt. Without hesitation, she stripped it over her head, discarding it to allow me to stare at her perfect, stunning body.
Ah, Christ.
That wave of heat crashed over and drowned me. In a heartbeat, I knew a truth, that if I did anything more with her, there would be no going back. I couldn’t sleep with her and stay sane.
I was fucked. I always had been with this lass.