Chapter 36
DANNY
Sat on Anya’s cream couch, I can hardly pull my eyes from her. She looks sad, resigned. I’ve spent my day frantically refreshing every news and social media site, so I know the news hasn’t dropped yet. But she knows. She knows something has happened, something bad. I wonder if I’ll ever meet another person who understands me so completely ever again.
“Are you ready?” she asks. Ready for me to tell her what has caused me to go off grid. I see her steel herself, her beautiful shoulders straightening.
“I had a call this morning from Travis.” I take a sip of wine, the tender stem of the glass fragile in my hand. “There’s going to be a story, and it’s probably about my father.”
She nods. “What kind of story?”
I wince and take another sip. The story tumbles out of me, the fragments of information I’ve been given.
Anya pales. “Did you know?”
I rear back in shock. It feels like she’s punched me in the gut. I rest my head in my hands, the heel of my palm finding moisture on my eyelashes.
“I’m–I didn’t mean.” She shifts closer, her small palm resting on my back.
“It’s okay,” I sniff, straightening. “No. I didn’t know.” I release my breath slowly, hoping my anger eases from my chest. “I— I knew he would cheat on my mother. There was a cycle. He would be off on a long job and then when he’d come back there’d be a huge row and she would pack up and go on a yoga retreat or a spa trip. This time it’s an upscale rehab,” I scoff. “But I didn’t know he would do this .”
Anya’s hand rubs my back, and I resist the urge to bend towards her like a flower searching for the warmth of the sun.
I turn to her, her brown hair tumbling past her shoulders and her eyes bright. “I think,” I croak. “I think a part of me knew what kind of man he is. I mean I know what he is like with me. I just… I don’t know, it feels naive to think that I didn’t know when he was always–” I cut off and push my hand through my hair, tugging at the strands as if it will pull my jumbled thoughts together.
Anya moves her hand to smooth down my hair.
My jaw clenches, forcing the words out. “The fact that it’s out, and everyone knows what kind of person he is and that my parent’s marriage is a complete sham…” I glance at her big eyes, shining at me, and spill the words that have been burning me from the inside out. “It feels like a weight has been lifted.”
“I understand,” she says, her thumb resting on my tight jaw smoothing the ache.
“Isn’t that awful?” I whisper.
“It’s not awful.” Her hand cups my jaw. “He’s an abuser, he’s emotionally tormented you for years. I’m sorry that he’s hurt someone else, but it’s not on you.”
I know I shouldn’t but I can’t stop myself. I kiss her, the feel of her lips under mine the only thing my mind can comprehend.
She deepens the kiss, plunging her tongue into my mouth. I grasp her thighs and tug until she’s straddling me, lining us up perfectly. My hands move, cupping her securely to me as I raise to my feet and carry her to the bedroom.
I gently lay her on the bed and she brushes her cool fingers against my cheek. I capture her lips in mine, pouring all the love I haven’t yet voiced into my kiss. Our hands roam, tender caresses and gentle touches. Our clothes fall to the floor and my heart feels like it’s ready to burst out of my chest.
We make love and afterwards, as I cradle her in my arms and press kisses to the freckles dotting her cheeks, I pray it’s not for the last time.