Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
When Killian and I make our way back downstairs to the party, I instantly feel the scrutinizing gaze of his aunt, but I do my best to ignore it. Instead, I grab another drink, and we walk hand in hand over to his siblings, who are standing near the large Christmas tree.
I can’t explain the good mood I’m in. I’m not one for holidays. I don’t generally like family gatherings. And I know in nine months, I will be gone from this country forever.
But with the music playing and the scent of something sweet and spicy in the air giving this party a cozy, warm vibe, it’s impossible not to feel good.
“Our brother’s not being too difficult for you, is he?” Declan asks with a stern expression. Judging by his sudden comfort in talking to me and the slight slur in his words, I’d be willing to bet that’s not his first glass of whisky.
I bump Killian with my shoulder and shoot him a smile. “I can handle him.”
When I turn back to the group, I notice the way they’re all looking at us. It’s easy to forget that these three know the truth while no one else at the party does. They wouldn’t actually suspect that Killian and I are casually hooking up in the privacy of our home.
Why would they?
Well, these three and his vicious Aunt Lorna are the only ones who know.
Feeling her eyes on me again, I look over my shoulder and find her staring menacingly. It’s like those eyes are the cruel reminder of what I’ve agreed to. These people have made me an accomplice in something vindictive and cruel.
Which I totally agreed to and knew the entire time.
When I turn back to the group again, I feel a bit more uneasy.
“Killian never was one for manners,” Lachy jokes, smiling at his brother.
“My manners are just fine, thank you,” Killian replies. “Besides, no one here is nearly as harsh and cutting as this one.”
He looks down at me, and I fake a smile. I’m supposed to joke back, but I’m starting to feel sick.
Lies, lies, lies.
The room starts to grow uncomfortable, and I peel my arm away from Killian’s.
“I have to use the restroom. I’ll be right back,” I mumble softly before squeezing through the party toward the hallway. I reach the bathroom without incident, but as I close myself in and stare at myself in the mirror, I feel the same scratching anxiety crawling up my spine.
Relax, Sylvie. You’re not doing anything wrong.
I take three long, deep breaths and try to remind myself that this is for the best. This isn’t my family. They’re just trying to help him.
Those three things just keep echoing through my head, over and over. For the most part, it works. I manage to talk myself down from the panic attack threatening to set in.
But when I open the bathroom door, I’m met with those menacing eyes again, and it takes me by surprise. Lorna is waiting for me in the hall.
“Excuse me,” I mumble softly before trying to squeeze past her.
“You and my nephew are getting along well,” she says, stopping me in my tracks. We’re alone in the hall, far enough away from the party to not be overheard.
I swallow my discomfort and turn toward her. “It’s all for show. I promise you.”
“It doesn’t look like it’s for show.”
Her expression is cold and flat. It reminds me of my mother, and I tighten my hands into fists to fight the anger coursing through my veins.
I hide it by giving her a simple shrug. “Does it matter? We’ll still get through the first year, and everything will go as planned.”
Her eyes crease as she leans against the wall. “Will it?”
“Of course.”
As she takes a step toward me, I bite back everything I want to spew at her.
“Good,” she seethes. “Because if anything goes wrong, then you won’t see a dime of that money.”
“You don’t think I’m aware of that?” I snap back.
“If I were you, I’d be more careful not to let Killian mistake your feelings for him. You are nothing more than a clause in a contract.”
“What do you think I’m doing?” I reply in a heated but hushed tone. “I’m doing everything I was told to do.”
She steps closer, so we are basically in each other’s faces. “I see the way you look at him. I don’t even want to know what filthy things you did to him upstairs. And I’m telling you now, harboring feelings for my nephew won’t change a thing. You can’t stop us from getting that house, and if you even think about getting in our way, you’ll be going back to America worse off than when you came here.”
I want to shove her. My hands itch to reach out and throw her against the wall, and I don’t care how elderly she is. But one deep breath stops me.
Instead, I get in her face. With a snarl, I point a finger at her and it takes her by surprise. Her eyes are wide with fear as she gazes up at me.
“Don’t you dare threaten me. I’m only here for my money, and then I’m gone, but don’t forget that you need me. So you should think twice before you get in my face again.”
I hear footsteps behind me, but I’m too lost in my rage to stop. There’s a nagging reminder in the back of my mind that I don’t want Killian to hear any of this. He can’t know the truth.
“Sylvie,” he mutters from the end of the hall.
Without turning my gaze away from Lorna, I continue. “You are nothing but an old hag, and you don’t care about Killian at all. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave him alone. Don’t look at him. Don’t talk to him. And if you even think about coming to Barclay Manor, just know you’ll leave worse than when you came.”
“Sylvie.” Killian’s voice is a harsh bark. Then I feel his warm hand around my arm, and I stand upright to find that my hands are shaking. I gaze up into Killian’s eyes, and instead of a scowl of anger, he gives me a hint of a smile.
He runs his thumb along my jaw. “Come on, darling. Let’s go home.”
In the distance, I hear cheers and the crowd singing “Auld Lang Syne.”
Shakily, I nod. I bury myself under his arm, and he pulls me out of the hallway toward the front door. We leave without even saying goodbye to his brothers and sister.
“Happy New Year!” someone shouts toward us, but we are moving too quickly toward the exit.
The next thing I know, he’s covering me with his jacket and pulling me out the front door. Peter is there waiting for us, and Killian guides me into the back seat. There are fireworks lighting up the sky in red and gold, but I’m too focused on him. Once we’re settled in the car, Killian tilts my face toward him again.
Gazing up into his eyes, I feel something I never felt with him before. It’s a feeling without words, or if it has words, I don’t have the capacity to conjure them at this moment. It feels like mine and home. Safety. Comfort.
I look at him, and it feels like I’m looking at myself.
He inches his face closer to mine, and I close the distance, finding his lips with mine. I kiss him differently this time. Not like I need something physical, but like I need something emotional. When our lips touch, it’s like I’m pulling him inside me. Inside my mind and my heart.
When he pulls away, our eyes meet. A spark of something cosmic glistens between us.
A wave of panic starts to build inside me. This can’t be happening. I can’t feel this way for anyone, least of all him. I don’t want to fall for Killian.
I hate him.
He smiles crookedly down at me, and it shakes me from my panic.
“Forget the blow job; seeing you give that old biddy a piece of your mind was the hottest thing you’ve done all night.”
I force out a chuckle even though inside, I’m being swept away by fear. But for some reason, I find myself clinging closer to him. As if he could possibly protect me from falling for him.
Beneath all of that uncertainty is more anger from the altercation. I just keep replaying her words, hearing her talk about him. I’ve never felt so enraged in my life. More than the night I ripped up my parents’ painting. More than any moment with them.
She was cruel to someone I’m supposed to despise. So why am I so mad?
Killian puts his mouth next to my ear, and when he whispers, it feels like words written in breaths. So low even Peter can’t hear in the front seat.
“I need to be inside you, Sylvie. I need to make you my wife.”
Goose bumps cascade across my skin as a wave of heat pummels me from the inside. Squirming in my seat, I turn toward him and find his mouth with my lips.
The kiss is all the answer he needs. Yes. Yes. Yes.