Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Chase
She’s literally on the edge of her seat the entire night, her forearms resting on the banister in front of us, chin settled against her folded knuckles as she stares down at the stage with an air of awe.
Her eyes didn’t leave the production once, and I’m not sure mine left her.
I have no idea what happened on that stage tonight, but I now know every expression of hers.
Her eyes crinkle when she smiles, and her mouth tips a little more to one side with her laugh.
The way she pulls her lips in when she cries and the way she bites it when she’s excited or expecting something.
I know because every time her teeth sank into that bottom lip of hers, the music would change, building higher and higher, or lower and lower in sync with her inhale.
Tonight, here at this place, she is in her element more than I have ever seen her before, and I find I’m happy to have been here to witness it.
I don’t realize I’m still staring until her head turns, and those big, blue eyes find mine, the happiness within them forcing air into my lungs.
I open my mouth to tell her something I shouldn’t when we’re interrupted.
“Miss Paige?”
We look toward the end of our row, only now realizing the crowds have completely cleared, and it’s just us and a few people standing in the back still here.
“Where did everyone go?” she asks the man who led us to our seats.
“I believe they headed down to the bar.”
“Oh.” Paige hastily stands, and I move with her, my hand finding her lower back to guide her to the aisle. “Sorry, we’ll get out of the way.”
“On the contrary, Miss Paige. I came to lead you backstage. Mr. Randolph has arranged for you to take a peek around, should you wish.”
“Really?” she nearly squeals, and a low laugh leaves me.
“Follow me.” He smiles, turning.
Paige bounces in her heels, reaching back and gripping my hand, tugging me along. I’m not even sure she realizes it, but I hold on regardless.
We wind down a few flights of stairs, and after pausing for a few minutes for the area to clear, the man leads us through another side door, where we wait a little while longer.
A man in a green, glittery jacket pokes his head in and gives our tour guide a thumbs-up, only to disappear just as fast.
Our guide turns and gives us a little bow. “The room has cleared, Miss Paige. Enjoy your look around, but please keep to the main stage area.”
“Of course, thank you.” She yanks me forward, practically running to the edge of the stairs that will take her onto the stage. She pauses there, looking up and over her shoulder at me. “Why am I nervous?” She laughs.
My lips curve up. “I don’t know. Why are you?”
She reaches up to shove me, only then realizing our hands are still locked together. Her cheeks pinken, and I can’t help but chuckle. Slowly, reluctantly, I release her, only to wrap my palms around her arms. I bring my lips to her ear, whispering, “Go on,” as I give her a little nudge.
She goes instantly, but I don’t follow.
I step back down and around the wall, coming out on the other side, so I’m looking up at her on the stage from the ground floor.
She looks back, frowning when she doesn’t see me, so I give a little whistle, and her head yanks my way.
Paige smiles and then she gives a little spin.
One spin turns into several and my brows jump as she becomes a blur of movement.
But she gets closer to the edge with each one, and I start to panic.
Moving closer, I grip the stage and haul myself up, getting to my feet right as she slams into me.
My arms come around her and she drops her head back with a laugh, her body arching like she’s boneless, making me panic even more.
So I tighten my grip around her and her upper body snaps up, colliding with mine.
She’s smiling, breathing heavily, looking up at me through thick pieces of her hair that have whipped us both in the face. So I gently gather all the loose curls, pushing them back over her shoulder.
“Thanks,” she says, her happiness bleeding into her soft tone.
I swallow, nodding.
Her palms are still on my chest, but her eyes slide around the space, and she sighs. “Man, this place is so beautiful.”
You’re beautiful.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t let them out, slowly releasing her from my hold instead.
I take a few steps back and lower myself so I’m sitting on the edge of the stage, one leg hanging over, the other bent, so I can face sideways, keeping her in my line of sight.
She walks around a little, moving close to the final backdrop and inspecting it with wide eyes. “This is so surreal,” she says, looking out at the rows of empty seats before us.
After a moment, she sits beside me, both our legs now hanging over the edge. Her eyes drop to her lap, and she runs the pad of her thumb over the little ring on her right hand.
“What’s wrong?”
Her chin is touching her chest, and she lets out a small, airy laugh, peeking over at me without actually turning her head. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
I don’t know how. I just do and I don’t know what to do with that.
When I don’t answer, she looks over at me, moisture building in her eyes. “I just can’t believe I got to see that live.” She shakes her head. “I know it might seem little. I mean I’m sure I could have gotten myself a ticket down the line and for a lot less than my grandfather paid for all this.”
“It’s not little. It’s obvious this is special to you.”
She laughs again, this time a little more lively, and I ignore the way the sound eases the tension I didn’t know I was feeling.
“It’s not even necessarily this place. Just the show.
A show in general,” she corrects herself, meeting my eyes.
“My dad and I had all these plans for after I graduated college. We talked about how we’d visit all these different venues, catching a different show at each one.
One a year was what we agreed on.” Her lips pull in, telling me the moisture that was building in her eyes a few moments ago might just fall, and I have the urge to reach for her.
“But it was one of those lies we told each other to make things easier, you know? Even though we both knew the truth.”
Her words hit home because I understand all too well what it feels like to lie to yourself for the sake of trying to feel better—to trick your brain into believing everything is fine when that is so fucking far from the truth. So I nod.
“I think you’re right,” I say softly. “Your dad would be really happy you still came, even though he couldn’t come with you.”
She smiles my way, nodding. “You know, if he were here, he’d be talking your ear off and completely ignoring me.”
My brows jump, a little surprised by her statement. “Oh yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.” She nods, leaning back so she’s resting on her palms.
“Oh, you’re going to make me ask?” I tease, scooting a little closer.
Paige nods, chewing at her lip.
“I’ll bite. Why would he be talking my ear off?”
“Because he was a big, bad college football star once upon a time, too.”
“No shit?” I smile.
“Yep.”
“I bet he’d rather talk to Noah than me, him being a pro and all.” The moment the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back. I don’t even know why I said that. My skin heats, and I pray the heat doesn’t slip past the collar of my dress shirt.
Paige tips her head, eyeing me. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” I play dumb.
“Pretend you don’t like and respect him when you do? Downplay your worth and try and move the conversation so it’s about someone else? Push down your own excitement like you’re trying to make sure you feel none?”
“Jesus.” I huff a laugh, but it’s strangled and I glance away, rubbing at the back of my neck.
Looks like I’m not the only one who can read the other…
I’m not really sure what to say, so I just look back and let my shoulders fall and my mouth run.
“I’m sorry. You’re sharing things…pieces of your life and personal things that I didn’t even know I was desperate to learn, and I’m fucking that up, bringing in my negative shit and ruining things like I always do and—”
Her soft fingers graze my cheek, and the words die in my throat, my eyes slicing to hers.
Her smile is soft—so fucking soft and, man.
I wasn’t prepared.
These things I’m feeling, this longing, if that’s what it is, suddenly feels too big to ignore yet too impossible to reach for.
But she’s right here, looking at me like I’m something worth holding on to, and on the inside, warmth is spreading, thawing parts of me that have been cold for too damn long. The strangest part is I actually want to believe what I’m seeing, what I’m feeling.
That’s the problem though, isn’t it?
The feeling is a good one, which means it’s not mine to keep. The universe has proved time and time again that the debt of something good must be paid with something bad, and I can’t handle any more bad in my life.
So with far more effort than I’d like to admit, I turn away, forcing her hand to fall back to her lap. “I’m sorry,” I say again. “I didn’t mean to sour this for you.”
“You didn’t.”
My eyes slide her way, and I can’t help my small smile.
“I did, Paige. I’m over here talking before thinking and taking away your smile, and I hate that.
” I pause for a second, and then I just say it, because she deserves to know, and I don’t want another regret later.
“You look like an absolute angel tonight, by the way.”
Her mouth opens, but then she laughs, dipping her head and hiding behind the shield of her hair. “Thank you.”
When she peeks up, it’s with a wide grin, and I think the shade of pink her skin turns when she looks at me like this might be my new favorite color.
God, I am so fucked.
She presses her lips together and looks forward, and I nod.
“Okay.” I hop to my feet, reaching out for her when she looks up. “Let’s turn this around, yeah? Find the others and see what kind of trouble we can cause before we have to leave?”