Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Chase
I watch her move around the room, darting from the dresser to her suitcase making sure everything is in perfect order.
She’s so damn excited, and it’s painful to see.
The look in her eyes when she talks about her trip, the happiness and freedom, it’s everything she deserves.
And I’m about to take it away from her. The thought hits me like a punch to the gut.
I can’t tell her. Not now. Not when she’s so happy, so ready to leave and just be.
When’s the last time she’s taken a trip?
Never. She’s never really had that. Her dad got sick when she was in high school, and then he died when she got to college, and she’s been here working her ass off ever since. Trying to build a life where she can have these things, but the world is cruel and had to take from her again.
The eagerness in her voice, the way she talks about spending time with her grandfather, how she has family again and she’ll get to learn about her mother—it kills me. My insides literally ache.
I should have done this sooner, and I don’t know if that’s why the guilt is eating at me or if it’s a bit of everything. I should have handled this before she even packed her bag, the moment I walked out of that damn office after I handed them that blood money.
Do it now. Rip the fucking Band-Aid off. Tell her what’s going on.
She smiles at me over her shoulder, and the sledgehammer comes down on my chest.
Can’t do it. I can’t ruin this for her.
Or maybe I’m just a coward.
The words feel like they choke me, the weight of everything pressing in, making it harder to breathe.
I want to groan, to bury my face in my hands and yank on my hair, but I don’t.
I keep it all in, something I’ve gotten really good at over the last couple of years.
It’s all I can do to hold on to the pieces of this that still make sense, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t need me to ruin this for her.
My gaze is glued to her, following as she bounces around, double-checking things she’s already checked just in case she forgot anything. It’s torture.
It takes everything in me to keep my emotions in check, to lock that wall and put up that barrier so she can’t see what’s happening inside of me.
“Oh!” She snaps her fingers, and a small chuckle manages to slip from my lips as I watch her drop to her knees and crawl half under her bed, pulling out a little box full of what looks like hair stuff.
She starts digging through it, quietly humming to herself, and I force myself to look away, the sight too precious, too painful.
Only, when I do, my gaze lands on something I’ve never seen before.
I slowly push to my feet, reaching out for the photo on her dresser, and I feel my lungs squeeze. It’s the first time I’ve let myself touch something that belongs to her since I walked in, and it just so happens that not only does the photo belong to her but so does the man that’s in it.
Me.
It’s a photo of her and me, one that I’ve never seen and didn’t even know existed, and now that I’m looking at it, I wonder if I have one of us together at all.
My fingers skate across her pretty face and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check. With a small peek back at her, I slowly slide it into my pocket.
I’m well aware I have no right to take this. I shouldn’t. But it may very well be the only thing that keeps me going the next few weeks. I have to have it.
She pops up then, setting the things she snagged into the little front pocket of her still-open carry-on, then flips it shut, quickly zipping it closed. Her hands find her tiny hips, and she smiles through a sigh.
“All ready to go?” I force myself to say, trying to sound normal.
She laughs, nodding her head. “I think so.”
And then she squeals, running right at me and throwing herself in my arms.
Thank god for the sound she makes because it covers the broken noise that tears up my throat, and I allow myself to be weak, wrapping my arms around her, holding her as close as possible.
“I’m so excited, but I’m going to miss you!” She hugs me back just as tight.
My eyes burn and I will myself not to lose it. Not to say it all and tell her everything—or not to do the opposite and shatter her big, beautiful heart right here and now with the truth.
Somehow, I manage to pull away and busy myself by taking her bags and leading us from the room to the elevator and out of the dorm. Me for the very last time.
The black car is parked against the curb, the man standing beside it already reaching for the suitcases.
We seem to turn toward each other at the exact same moment, and she hugs me again.
“I’ll see you soon. And we’ll talk every day.” Those baby blues pop up to meet my gaze, and my knuckles tremble as I run them down her cheek, holding her face between my sweaty palms.
“I love you, Paige. With my entire heart. Never, ever doubt that.”
The tenderness that falls over her is so easy to see—she gives her love so freely and doesn’t ask for anything in return. “Chase, I—”
I press my lips to hers to silence her. After a moment, I drop my forehead to hers and whisper, “Go.”
She smiles, laughing as she spins and hops right into the SUV. The man closes the door and offers me a bow, and she promptly rolls the window down.
“Europe, here I come!” She laughs, waving until she can no longer see me. “Bye!”
And I watch her go, my heart grinding into the asphalt with each roll of the tires. “I love you, Angel.”
Paige
The plane’s taking off, and I’m sitting back in my seat, trying to keep my nerves in check. This is the first vacation I’ve had in, well, ever. It feels so surreal. No schoolwork, no stress, just time to explore and hang out and get to know my grandpa on a deeper level.
I glance over at him, smiling, and he senses my gaze, looking up from the screen of his tablet. “You better not be working over there,” I tease.
He laughs lightly, setting his tablet down and his reading glasses on top of it as he turns to look at me, the wide seats of his private plane giving him enough room to lift a knee onto the other.
“Now if you remember correctly, I said the entire time we were in Europe, I would not be touching any work except for the occasional evening emails.” Thick, gray brows rise.
“However, we have not yet arrived in Europe, now have we?” He smiles.
I chuckle, turning to push the shade up on my window and glancing out before looking back at him.
I can’t stop smiling, the excitement buzzing under my skin.
The semester is done, and Chase is going to spend some much-needed time with his dad at home before they go back to the beach house for the rest of break. It’s going to be great.
“I have like ten restaurants I want to try. I mapped them all out based on our time in each location, and I think we might be able to make it work, but just be warned… I don’t think you’ll find any fine dining and more than half of them are breakfast spots.”
The man looks a little horrified and a laugh leaves me.
“Ohh, come on, live a little. A couple crepes and waffles won’t hurt your physique any.”
“Now, sweetheart, I can’t tell if you’re teasing me or being sweet.”
I grin, leaning forward and picking up the little travel book I ordered that just came in yesterday.
“I’m really glad you decided to come, Paige. For a minute there, I wasn’t sure you’d say yes. In fact, I almost talked myself out of asking.”
“I’m really glad you did.”
He nods. “Good. You’ve earned a break and there is no better way to test our decisions than to step away and just be.”
I tip my head at him, not really following but excited that he’s excited. “You always have to take a simple moment and turn it into something bigger, don’t you? A life lesson of sorts.”
His chuckle is light as he drops his gaze to his lap. “Yeah, I’m guilty of that. I didn’t know your dad, and I just want to make sure we appreciate the importance of having the people who were there when it counts, the people who stand by you, do what’s best for you even when that’s hard.”
For a moment, I wonder if he’s been hurt before, if that’s where this is coming from, but I guess that answer is simple enough. My mother wasn’t exactly a loyal daughter, all things considered.
I think of my friends, my new family. Of Chase.
I think he can see my thoughts in my smile, as he moves to take in my expression fully.
The flight attendant—if that’s what you call them on a fancy private jet—steps up with an already-opened bottle of champagne and offers me a glass.
For a moment, I almost decline, but I decide against it.
This might be a little fancier, a lot fancier, than my life, but I’m going to enjoy every moment of this vacation and everything that it offers.
So I reach out and wrap my hands around the stem with a soft thanks.
I take a small drink, letting the bubbles tickle along my tongue, and sigh to myself.
“You seem to be in quite high spirits,” my grandfather says, his voice light but observant.
When I look over, I grin. “Of course I am. Look where we are!” I chuckle, stretching my hands out toward the windows exaggeratedly.
He nods slightly, a softness in this expression, but there’s also an undertone I can’t quite read. His eyes stay on me a moment longer than I expect, and I almost start to worry, but then his lips curve up. “Good. Because we’re going to have a great time, you and me. No matter what.”
The bit of tension that started to slip in leaves me instantly and I settle back in my seat.
I cannot wait!