4. Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER 4
~STARLA~
H e steps closer, closing the small gap between us, and kisses my forehead then down my nose and over to each cheek. The kisses are light and soft and lull me back into a sweet haze of lust.
I purr. That’s the only way to describe it. It’s not a moan or a groan. It’s a freaking purr, and Levi is the only person in my life who’s ever made that noise come from my body.
“You smell amazing,” he whispers as he kisses my earlobe and then just below it on the soft skin of my neck. “And I love this spot, right here.”
It’s just like my dream. Levi places a wet kiss on my neck, then tugs the skin between his teeth, not biting hard enough to leave a mark.
Not that he’s above that. I had bite marks on my ass for a week after our night together weeks ago.
It was fantastic.
I drag my foot up the back of his leg, urging him closer. My skin is on fire, wanting nothing more than for us to be naked together, moving in harmony. I can hear the music of the sex we have together in my head, and it’s heady.
Intoxicating.
“Jesus, you’d tempt a saint,” he murmurs, tugging the strap of my tank down my arm, exposing the top of my breast. “Your skin is so damn soft.”
I bury my fingers in his hair, delighted when he kisses lower, exposing my bare breast and pulling the hard nipple into his mouth.
“Yes,” I cry, enthralled by the way he feels against me. There’s a little stubble on his face, leaving a light burn on my skin. His finger pushes the fabric of my denim shorts aside and plunges inside me, sending sparks shooting through my whole body. My legs lock around his thighs, and he grins against me before looking up into my eyes.
“You’re so damn wet,” he says.
“Shocking,” I say, then gasp when he adds another finger. “Oh, Lord, that’s good.”
“So tight.” He eases me closer to the edge of the countertop but holds me steady so I can’t fall. “I need more access to you.”
“You can have all the access you want.”
With two fingers still inside me, he presses the heel of his hand against my clit. And that’s all I can take. I fly over the edge of insanity, soaring high as the orgasm consumes me, shattering me completely.
He peppers my skin with kisses, crooning soft words that I can’t make out over the rushing in my ears, but it feels damn good.
Maybe better than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.
“Better?” he asks.
“Whoa,” is all I can say.
“Are you steady?”
I frown up at him. “Yeah.”
“Good.”
He turns away from me to wash his hands in the sink, and I’m confused.
“We’re done?”
He sends a glance my way over his shoulder but finishes washing up without a word. Finally, while he wipes his hands dry, he turns and leans his hips against the counter opposite of me.
“I think we are, yes.”
“But you didn’t?—”
“I’m fine,” he says but then cringes. “Okay, I’m not fine. But I’ll live.”
I feel completely rejected. Embarrassed. No, mortified is a better word.
“Listen, I’m sorry that I threw myself at you, and you felt like you needed to give me a pity orgasm.”
I hop off the counter and hurry past him toward the living room.
“You don’t have to stay?—”
“Stop.”
I don’t turn around. He’s standing behind me, and his voice is hard, but I can’t turn around and look him in the eyes because I’m so fucking embarrassed.
“Look at me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Shit.” He hurries around me and takes my hands in his, kissing them both. “Look at me, Starla.”
I finally look up, and he has remorse written all over his handsome face.
“If you weren’t into it, you should have said so,” I say at last, not willing to back down from this.
“Not into it?” He scowls and pulls my hand down to his crotch, pressing my palm against the hard-on he’s sporting behind his jeans. “If I was any more into it, I’d be busting out of my pants for God’s sake.”
“Then why?”
He blows out a breath. “Okay, I’m going to be brutally honest here.”
He hated the sex. He never wants to have sex with me again. I’m an idiot.
“I want nothing more than to be buried so deep inside of you right now that I don’t know where I end and you begin.”
“Awesome.”
“But, I also want to go slow. I’m not trying to hurt you here, Starla, but you have this incredible, unexpected power over me, and I have to be careful around you. You did hurt me before. And I know you’ve apologized. I’m not holding that over your head.”
“It feels like it,” I admit.
“I’m sorry.” He kisses my forehead. “I’m trying to be a gentleman here, damn it.”
I smile. “Well, that’s nice of you.”
“I’m a nice guy.” His voice is light as if he’s teasing, but it’s the truth. He is a nice guy. “So, we’re going to date for a while before we go back to the sex part.”
“I can’t,” I say. “I can’t date like a normal person, Levi.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Hello. Look at me.” I wave my hand over my face and stomp away in frustration.
“You’re gorgeous.”
“I’m Starla .”
“Yes, you are.”
“You’re being difficult.” I scratch my hands through my hair in frustration.
“I’m not trying to be. Obviously, I’m missing something here.”
“I’m too famous to date, and that’s not me trying to be a diva. It’s just the truth. I have to wear a disguise when I leave the house because, otherwise, I’ll be mobbed.”
“Look, I’m not here because you’re Starla . I don’t care.”
“If I thought otherwise, you wouldn’t be standing in my living room with my come on your hands.”
He narrows his eyes. “Watch yourself.”
I narrow my eyes back at him and walk closer. “Or what?”
“I may not be willing to fuck you right now, but I’ll spank that gorgeous ass of yours. Where have you always wanted to go in Seattle that you can’t?”
I stop short, halted by both the question and the ass-spanking comment.
I honestly wouldn’t mind if he spanked me.
“Focus,” he says with a smirk.
“The Pop Culture Museum,” I reply immediately. “I’ve heard the Nirvana and Kurt Cobain exhibit is amazing, but there’s no way I can go in there.”
“Because you’re Starla.”
“They’ve asked to use some of my memorabilia in the museum, Levi. If I walk in there during business hours, I’d have a mob on my hands.”
He nods and retrieves his phone from his back pocket.
“Go get dressed.”
“Where are we going?”
He sighs and stares at me in frustration. “Can’t a man surprise you just a little? I’m sweeping you off your feet here. Go get dressed.”
I grin, suddenly excited to see what he’s got up his sleeve. Before I rush upstairs to get dressed, I leap into his arms and plant my lips against his, kissing him fast and furiously before jumping down and hurrying to change my clothes.
“I’ll be down in ten minutes!”
“I’ll be here.”
“It’s closed,” I say when we walk up to the Pop Culture Museum doors. It’s near the base of the Space Needle, in the heart of downtown. The sun has long been down, but people are bustling about, enjoying the warm summer evening.
At least with the sun down, the likelihood of being recognized is lessened.
“Don’t worry,” he says, smiling down at me and squeezing my hand.
A man appears at the door and unlocks it for us, then locks us in.
“Hey, Levi,” he says, holding his hand out to shake.
“Luke,” Levi says with a nod.
“Hey, Starla,” Luke says with a smile, and I immediately walk into his arms for a warm hug.
“I didn’t know you’d be meeting us here.” I step back and smile up at the ridiculously handsome man. He’s married to Natalie, the woman who owns the house I’m staying in, and he’s one of Hollywood’s hottest movie producers.
Not to mention, back in the day, he was one of the most famous movie stars there was.
“It was a surprise,” he says with a laugh. “When Levi called and asked me to get you guys in here, I was happy to oblige. I’ve had the staff turn on all of the lights throughout all of the exhibits, so feel free to look around at everything.”
“What, do you own the joint?” I ask with a laugh.
“No, it’s a non-profit,” Levi says.
“But I’ve made sizeable contributions, and I know the people in charge.” Luke winks. “I’ll leave you to it. Ralph, the evening janitor, is around to turn off the lights and lock the door behind you when you’re done.”
“Thanks, man,” Levi says.
“My pleasure. Enjoy.” He turns to walk away but stops short. “Oh, two more things. Natalie told me to tell you both to come over for dinner tomorrow. She’ll text you the time. And the Nirvana exhibit is down that way.”
“Thanks.” I grin at him and almost melt into a puddle when he winks at me before walking away.
“Do you have a crush on Luke?”
“Don’t you have a crush on Luke?” I counter as we walk down to the Nirvana exhibit. “He’s ridiculously handsome.”
“I’m going to have to kill him,” Levi mutters, making me laugh.
“Nah.” I boost up on my toes to kiss his cheek. “He’s happily married, and I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, so we’re good. Oh, my God.”
I stop cold in the doorway and just look around the room. An interview is playing through the speakers, Kurt’s voice talking about their start in Aberdeen, Washington.
“Look at these photos,” I whisper, pouring over Polaroids in a glass case. The whole band in the late ‘80s is in the photos, young and acting silly. Their eyes are full of cockiness and humor. Hope. Love.
We spend an hour, reading journals and postcards, watching interviews, and I long to reach through the glass to play Kurt’s guitar.
“I met Dave Grohl,” I say as we walk out of the room toward an exhibit about Star Trek . “A couple of times, actually. But at one event in particular, I was able to sit with him and talk about music, how it’s changed over the past thirty years, and thank him for inspiring me as a young woman.”
“That must have been amazing.”
I glance up and smile. “It was the best moment of my life. There are so many musicians that I admire, that inspire me, but Nirvana was special.”
“You were young when they were popular.”
“Very.” I nod thoughtfully. “And I couldn’t get enough of them. Their songs inspired me to write my own.”
“Fascinating,” Levi says. “Your music is so different from theirs.”
“You listen to my music?”
“Of course, I do,” he replies with a shrug. “It’s all over the radio.”
“Give me your phone.” I stop in the middle of the Marvel exhibit, right in front of Iron Man, holding out my hand.
“Why?”
“I want to see something.”
He unlocks his phone and passes it to me, and I immediately open his music app, search my name, and feel my eyes go wide when I see every song I’ve ever released on his device.
“Levi.”
“I guess you’ve poured some of your heart out, so I should do the same.”
He takes his phone back, stuffs it into his back pocket, and holds my hand as we wander around. “I had only heard the music on the radio before our first night together, and if you remember correctly, earlier that day when Jace, Joy, and I all met you at Meredith and Mark’s house, I didn’t recognize who you were.”
“Oh, yeah,” I say, laughing at the memory. “Joy was mortified that you guys didn’t know me, but it was actually really refreshing.”
“I’d heard your music, but no, I didn’t know who you were. After our night together, I downloaded everything I could find.”
“Why?”
“Because I felt closer to you while I was listening to the music, the lyrics. Getting to know you, I guess.”
Levi’s not wrong. I pour everything into my music.
“You’re a sweet man.” I kiss his shoulder. “And I have so many regrets about the days after we were together.”
“Let’s not dwell on regrets,” he says as we make our way through the last exhibit, about ‘80s movies. “Let’s just move on from here. I’m just happy to spend time with you, sweetheart. We’ll take it slow.”
“Maybe we’ll call it going at our own pace , rather than taking it slow .” I grin up at him and sigh when he pulls me to him and kisses me with a passion I haven’t known in five years. I didn’t think I’d ever feel it again, and yet here it is.
I’m enjoying it, and I’m scared of it.
I’m just not willing to let it go.
I’ve decided I’m addicted to swimming. Until my piano gets here, I need a creative outlet, and it seems that means I’m in the water.
It’s mid-morning. I slept like the dead last night and woke up feeling feisty and ready to go. The best part?
No dizziness. None.
It’s amazing how good I feel.
I’m paddling backward, enjoying the way the sunshine feels on my face and listening to the birds singing in the trees. I should use my pool more often in LA. If I were home more.
When I reach the end of the pool, I flip over and do the breaststroke to the other side, then turn onto my back and mosey back the way I came.
All in all, it’s not a bad way to spend the morning.
After a few more laps, I stand to walk out of the pool.
“Fuck!” I scream, clutching my chest over my pounding heart at the sight of Levi lounging lazily in a pool chair. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to count ten laps,” he says with a smile. “If I’d known you swam naked, I would have come by earlier.”
“Funny.” I don’t bother to cover my nakedness as I walk into the house to the bathroom where I have towels and fresh clothes waiting for me.
“You’ve got a great backstroke,” he says from the doorway, grinning like a fool.
“I’m glad you got a good show.” I laugh as I tie my wet hair up in the towel and reach for my underwear. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I brought coffee.”
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“I remember.” He sips from his to-go mug, smiling at me over the rim. “But I wanted coffee.”
“Do they not sell coffee by your house?”
“Where do you think I got this?”
I tilt my head, watching him. “None of this makes sense.”
“I wanted to drink my coffee while I sat with you.”
“Huh.” I unwrap the towel and comb my tangled hair, then twist it into a wet knot. “Well, looks like you managed to pull that off.”
“I sure did.” He chuckles. I should be mad at him for watching me when I didn’t know that he was there, but I’m not. At all. He’s already seen me. And I like having him nearby. “I thought I’d pick you up to go to Nat and Luke’s for dinner, too.”
“We don’t have to be there for about seven hours.”
“Oh, good. We have time then.”
“You’re so mysterious today. Time for what?”
“You’ll see.”