7. Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER 7
~STARLA~
I ’m getting damn sick and tired of waking up in a cold, empty bed.
Every night for the past week, Levi comes to my place. We have dinner, or we go out to eat. We walk along the waterfront. We make out a little—not nearly enough, if you ask me—and then he leaves.
I go to bed alone. I wake up alone.
It’s freaking ridiculous.
I pad into the kitchen wearing a tank and yoga shorts, rubbing sleep from my eyes. My piano was delivered a few days ago, and I plan to sit at it all morning before I go to the studio with Jax and Meredith.
I’ve fallen into a routine here, which is new and foreign to me, but it’s also soothing. I write in the morning, spend some time at the studio, and then I’m home in time to spend the evening with Levi. Over the weekend, I spent most of each day with Levi, exploring more of Seattle. He’s become a constant in my life, in a very short period of time.
I don’t know what I would do if he were suddenly gone.
And that thought scares me. Because just as I learned before, a person can be gone in the blink of an eye.
I frown, carrying my bottle of water to the piano. I set it on the floor, not wanting to chance leaving a water ring on the gleaming wood of the instrument, and noodle the keys, playing songs I’ve already written. Some have been recorded, some haven’t yet.
When I’m warmed up, I reach for my notebook of music paper and a pencil and dig in, running lines over and over.
I know you want me to let you in
But hearts are messy
I frown. That doesn’t sound good.
I know you want me to let you in
But this door on my heart is locked
Better. I write it down and then play the melody again. It’s soft, a gentle ballad that will likely be played at weddings someday.
Before I know it, several hours have passed, and I think I have the song mostly worked out. The doorbell rings, pulling me out of my haze of creativity. I pad to the door and open it, surprised to see Joy and Lia smiling at me.
“We brought lunch,” Joy announces, holding up a brown bag.
“And margaritas,” Lia adds, making me grin. “We thought maybe you could use some friendly company.”
Joy’s head tilts to the side. “But if we’re interrupting something?—”
“No, come in.” I move back so they can come inside, then shut the door behind them. “I’m sorry I’m still in my pajamas. I started writing as soon as I woke up and I haven’t taken a break.”
“Have you eaten?” Lia asks.
“Nope.”
“Excellent,” Joy says with a grin. “Because we have some delicious Mexican food in here, along with the margaritas.”
“It’s noon.” I frown at the time.
“They’re virgin ones,” Lia says with a shrug. “Joy’s preggers, so no drinking liquor in front of her. Also, it’s Monday. And who couldn’t use a margarita on a Monday?”
“I could,” Joy says, raising her hand. “Virgin or otherwise, they’re delish. What kind of song are you working on?”
“A ballad.” I’m salivating at the sight of the chips and salsa Joy’s currently setting on my table. Food is a great idea. “Do you want to hear it?”
“Yes,” they answer in unison, both grinning.
“After you eat something,” Joy adds, passing me a taco.
“Good call.” I take the taco and devour it in about four bites. “I was hungrier than I thought.”
“I brought tons of food,” Lia assures me, passing me another taco. I pop a chip into my mouth and shimmy in my seat, happy to have them here.
“When is the baby due?” I ask Joy, eyeing her barely-round belly.
“This winter,” she says while rubbing her hands over her midsection. “So far, the morning sickness is gone. Now, I just want to eat everything in sight. I’ll gain a hundred pounds with this baby.”
“No, you won’t,” Lia says, shaking her head. “You make good food choices. You can eat all the carrots you want.”
“I don’t want carrots. I want Doritos.”
“Maybe eat more carrots than Doritos,” I say with a laugh.
“How are things with Levi?” Joy asks, earning a glare from Lia that says really ? “What? It’s just a question.”
“Things are good.” I reach for another taco. “He’s a great guy. Funny. Protective. Sexy as all get out.”
“That’s a Crawford thing,” Joy says, nodding. “Sexy and smart.”
“I just wish he’d use the sexiness a little more,” I confess. “He says we’re taking it slow, and it’s killing me.”
“That’s sort of sweet, though,” Lia says thoughtfully. “That he doesn’t want to just jump into bed with you. Also, you should know, he’s not dating you because of the stardom.”
“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if he was,” I say with a sigh. “Because there have been plenty who have tried. None were successful. In fact, Levi’s the first guy I’ve dated since Rick’s accident.”
Both women grow quiet, chewing thoughtfully. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I trust them, but I don’t know them well. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.
Why did I even say that?
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Lia says at last. “It must have been the most devastating thing.”
“It was,” I agree and nod. “But it was a long time ago, and it’s time to live my life again. It’s not like I’ve had to chase Levi.”
“No, he’s into you.” Joy’s voice is full of confidence. “I tried to antagonize him a bit last week, and he didn’t fall for it. Because he’s a cop, he doesn’t like to say much about stuff, but he admitted that he likes you a lot. It was sweet.”
“He’s sweet,” I murmur, looking down at the half-eaten taco in my hands. “He’s the best.”
“Okay, I’m ready for music,” Lia says, shifting in her seat. “Whenever you’re done eating.”
“Awesome. I’d like to hear what you think of this one so far. It’s a little different for me, but I think it’s pretty.”
I sit at the piano and begin the song I’ve been working on. There are a few rough spots that I have to mumble through because I don’t have all of the lyrics ironed out. When I’m finished, I look up to find both women leaning on the piano, hanging on every note.
“Well?”
“Oh my God, so good,” Joy says. “It’s beautiful, Starla.”
“We would be honest if it sucked,” Lia adds. “But trust me. It doesn’t.”
“Thanks.” I smile and make a tweak on the notepad. “I’m glad you guys came over. This was fun.”
“Well, you’re dating our brother-in-law,” Lia says. “And we wanted to get to know you a little better.”
“I’m glad,” I repeat and then reach for my phone sitting on the top of the piano. Just as I grab it, it pings with an incoming message. “Sorry, I’m waiting for an email from my manager on something. I just need to check this real quick.”
“No problem,” Joy says. “We should probably head out anyway. I have to go feed that little kitten I rescued behind the clinic.”
Joy’s and Lia’s voices fade as I read the email.
You fucking bitch. Did you think you could ignore my last email and I’d just go away? I won’t be ignored! Who do you think you are? You’re not special. There’s a place in hell reserved for cunts like you. In fact, maybe I’ll send you straight to hell, sooner than later.
I see you. I’m watching. Killing you, making you PAY for what you did, would be so damn easy. If you think I’m kidding, I’ve attached a photo of what I’d like to do to you.
There’s a picture attached that makes me sick to my stomach. I drop the phone to the floor and grab a nearby wastebasket to hurl into, unable to run to the bathroom.
“Starla?”
“What’s going on?”
“Honey, what is it?” Lia asks, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “What was in that email?”
“Oh my God.” I look up at Joy’s voice and see her reading the email. “For fuck’s sake.”
“Let me see,” Lia demands. Joy passes her the phone, and they switch places. Lia reads while Joy comforts me.
“It’s just a maniac who likes scaring you,” she says. But she’s wrong.
“No,” Lia says flatly, and the next thing I know, she’s speaking into my phone, talking to Levi. “This is Lia. Joy and I are with Starla at her house, and we need you here, Levi. Starla’s been threatened. Yep. We’ll be here.”
She hangs up, puts my phone to sleep, and sets it aside.
“He’s on his way.”
“I wish you hadn’t called him,” I whisper. I’m shaking. I’m dizzy. Blood rushes in my ears, through my head, making me unsteady.
“He’s a cop, and he’s your boyfriend,” Joy reminds me, rubbing circles on my back. “He’ll take care of this.”
“Just a stupid fan. It happens sometimes.”
“He didn’t say he hated your new song,” Lia says. “He fucking threatened to kill you. ”
I fold over the wastebasket again, heaving.
“Hey, he can’t hurt you, honey,” Joy says. “No one’s going to hurt you.”
“No. They’re not.”
My head comes up at the sound of Levi’s voice. God, he looks good. I’m so relieved to see him, tears suddenly flow, and I can’t stop them.
He folds me into his arms and holds me close, kissing my head and temple.
“You’re okay,” he says. “I promise, sweetheart, you’re okay.”
“Here.” I open my phone and pass him the email. “Read it.”
He’s quiet, but I watch his eyes. They go from brown to black with pure rage as he reads the words and then sees the photo.
It’s Meredith and me at Nordstrom a few weeks ago, shopping. But whoever it is used Photoshop to make it look like we’re both dead. Bloody.
It’s like something out of a horror movie.
“Fuck me,” Levi growls. He taps on the screen, and then he pulls out his own phone and makes a call. “Yeah, it’s Crawford. I just sent an email to you from Starla’s email address. I need the original note traced. I’ll wait while you open it.”
Levi kisses me again and rubs his hand soothingly up and down my back.
“Yeah, I know. Great, work on it and keep me posted.”
He ends the call and hugs me close again.
“Thanks for calling me,” he says to Lia.
“Of course. We’ll get out of your way. But, Starla, if you need anything , I’m just across the street. Don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you,” I say with a watery smile. “And thank you for being here. For lunch and everything.”
“Of course.”
Both women hug me, and then they’re gone, and it’s just Levi and me, watching each other with sober eyes.
“It’s probably nothing,” I say at last, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Just some asshole who wants to scare me. It happens.”
I stand and pace the room, suddenly filled with nervous energy.
“How often does this happen, Star?”
I stop and look at him. “People send stupid messages and comment on my posts on Instagram all the time. I hate your new song. You’re not that pretty. I don’t know what all the fuss is about, your talent is shit. ”
I shrug and pace into the kitchen where I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and take a drink, the cold liquid soothing my hot throat.
“That’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
Nope. It’s not the same thing. But I feel like if I dwell on what’s in that email, I’ll completely fall apart.
“Is it crazy that the part that fucked with me the most was seeing Meredith in that picture?” I scrub my hands over my face and walk out back to the pool area. I can sense the beginnings of fall in the air, and it feels good. Refreshing.
“No, it’s not crazy,” Levi says from behind me. I turn to find him leaning against the doorjamb, his hands in his pockets. He took his leather jacket off, and he’s just in a white T-shirt. The sleeves are stretched tight around his muscular biceps.
“You don’t have any tattoos,” I say.
“No.” He watches me carefully.
“I know, I’m all over the place. Maybe I just need to swim.” I strip out of my clothes and dive into the deep end. The water is cooler than normal this afternoon, but it’s refreshing, as well.
I swim back and forth until my limbs are too tired to keep going. I climb out of the pool, and Levi is standing by with a big towel. He wraps it around me and pulls me to him, rocking us back and forth.
“We should talk about this.”
“Did your person trace the email?” I ask, looking up into his face. He frowns, and I know the answer isn’t what I want to hear.
“No. It’s not traceable, unfortunately. But they’re still going to work on it, see if there’s a back door they’re missing.”
“I see.” I lean against his chest and listen to his heartbeat for a moment. “I’m honestly a little surprised that this messed with me so much. I can let a lot roll off my shoulders. But Meredith…”
“Shh.” He kisses my forehead. “Mer’s fine. I’ve called Mark to let him know what’s up, but she wasn’t directly threatened in the email, sweetheart. I’d say you’re the target, and it pisses me the fuck off.”
His voice is hard again. I gaze up at him, so grateful that he’s here.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I nod and pull away, but his arms tighten, keeping me close.
I want him. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want Levi Crawford, and trust me, that’s fed my guilt in ways I don’t want to think about right now.
I just know that I want him. Right now.
“Levi,” I whisper, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard.
“Starla, you’re upset.” He doesn’t pretend to not know what’s going through my mind, and I appreciate that.
“Yes, I am. And I want you. I want you to make me forget, to make me feel . I feel alive with you, Levi.”
He kisses my forehead, and his hands glide up and down my back, still covered with the towel.
“Sweetheart—”
“I’m not used to begging for sex, Levi, but if that’s what you want, I will. Please.”
He lifts me, cradling me in his arms as he stomps through my house and up the stairs to my bedroom. He sets me on my feet, and I let the towel spill to the floor.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.”
“And you’re overdressed.” I pull his shirt out of the waistband of his blue jeans and up over his head, then toss it on the tile. Before I unfasten his pants, I let my fingertips roam over his warm, smooth skin, taking in every defined muscle.
“You’re hot.”
He grins. “Thanks. I’m glad you approve.” He swallows again. “And if you keep touching me like that, this won’t last long.”
I laugh, delighted with him, and reach for his pants. But before I can continue stripping him, he waves my hands aside and hurries out of his jeans, kicks them aside, and leads me back onto the bed.
“I’ve dreamed of this for weeks,” he confesses as his fingertips glide up and down my torso, from my neck to my belly button and back again. “You need to know that once this happens, there’s no going back, Starla. This isn’t a one-night stand for me.”
“Message received.” I brush my fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair, loving the way the strands feel in my hand. “You make me feel things no one else ever has, and that both scares and thrills me.”
His brown eyes find mine, and while holding my gaze, he tugs my nipple into his mouth, gently plucking it between his teeth.
“Just enjoy,” he whispers and begins to explore me as if this were our first time together. As if he can’t get enough of looking at me, touching me.
I sigh and close my eyes, circling my hips in invitation.
“Watch me,” he commands.
Two simple words, but when they come from Levi, they send shivers down my spine. I can’t take my eyes off him as he kisses down my sternum, licks my navel, then nudges his shoulders between my legs and grins as he stares down at the most intimate part of me.
“Beautiful,” he mutters before licking me from pussy to clit, sending shock waves through my body, making me arch off the bed.
“Holy shit!”
“Easy,” he croons as he plants one hand flat against my lower stomach, holding me in place as he feasts on me, taking and giving so much back at the same time.
I can’t keep my eyes open. I can’t keep from moving. I shake my head back and forth and circle my hips as the pressure builds at the base of my spine.
“Levi, I’m going to?—”
“Do it.”
I can’t hold back any longer. I come apart at the seams, crying out in delight as wave after wave of pleasure rolls over my body.
Before I can catch my breath, Levi covers me, cradling my head in his hands as he slips inside of me and holds steady, watching my face with rapt attention.
“Condom?” I ask breathlessly.
“Already took care of it while you were delirious.” His grin is wicked as he pulls back and then sinks back in, setting a steady pace that makes me grasp onto his ass for dear life. “God, Starla.”
“So good,” I agree, and feel him tense with the effort to keep his own orgasm at bay. “Give in.”
“Too fast.”
I cradle his face in my hands. “Give in,” I repeat and watch as he does just that, letting his orgasm take over.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.