15. Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER 15
~STARLA~
I feel like shit.
Worse than shit.
I feel like someone beat me over the head with a mallet, made me eat fourteen meals at a fast food joint, and left me for dead in the gutter.
“Ugh.” I try to roll over, but my joints are sore, so it takes me a minute. By the time I’m settled on my other side, Jax barges through the door.
Okay, so he cracks it and quietly looks inside.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he whispers.
I grunt a response, and he takes that as a come on in. So he does. He sits next to me and brushes my hair off my face.
“You look like shit.”
“Yep.”
“You didn’t go to bed when you said you did.”
I shrug a shoulder. “Nope.”
“What did you do?”
“Wrote.”
“I don’t have a piano.”
“Don’t need one for lyrics.” I yawn and frown at the dry mouth I feel. Jesus, you’d think I went on a four-day bender. “So sore. Headache.”
“Because you haven’t drunk any water in twenty-four hours, haven’t eaten, and barely slept.”
“Stop judging me.”
I bury my face down in the pillow and regret my life choices.
“Come on, I’m going to take care of you before Levi discovers the state you’re in and cuts off my balls.”
“Levi’s not the boss.”
But I sit up and let Jax pull me from the bed to my feet. I am hungry. If I drank coffee, I’d have six cups.
Too bad it repulses me.
Must be left over from when I was a kid and my parents said caffeine was from Satan.
I follow Jax to the kitchen and sit at the island as he sets out to make me eggs and toast. He’s a great cook.
Jax is actually good at most things.
“Should we talk about what’s going on?” he asks as he cracks four eggs into a bowl.
“No. Because you’ll yell at me, and I’m already pissed at myself enough.”
“I won’t yell.”
“Yes, you will.” I sigh and hunch over the counter, resting my pounding head in my hands. “It’s not like I kept it a secret. I just didn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t even know what the hell is going on. You just suddenly have cops following you everywhere you go. It’s a little unnerving.”
“Trust me, I know.” I fiddle with the salt and pepper shakers. “I’ve had some threatening letters and stuff. But I get a lot of weird mail. You know that. So, I just blew them off as another weirdo.
“But a few weeks ago, it escalated to the person sending photos as well, ones they Photoshopped to look like I’m dead.”
He sets the bowl aside and leans on the counter, listening.
“I showed them to Levi, and he’s doing the cop thing, investigating it all and trying to figure out who’s sending them. So far, they can’t tell who it is. But the letters are disturbing enough to want some protection at all times. That’s why I can’t ever be alone.”
“I think we should invite the cops inside,” Jax mutters, shaking his head. “How long?”
“I thought it was about six months, but the guy working on my electronics at Levi’s office found emails that go back over a year.”
“Holy shit, little girl.”
“I know! See, I told you you’d yell at me. And trust me, I’m pissed at myself enough for both of us.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to anyone? More than a year ago, you were on tour and had a whole team of security with you at all times. All you had to do was hand it off to someone and tell them to deal with it.”
“I know.” I hang my head in my hands again. It’s pounding the beat of a cha-cha. “I just don’t remember them sounding threatening before. It’s gotten way worse lately. And we’re on it now. Levi will find him or her.”
“You should call him.”
“The stalker?”
“Levi.”
“I think I’m still mad at him.”
“Does he know you’re not ghosting him again?”
I look up as he empties the eggs into the hot pan and starts to stir. “Of course, he does. I’m not ghosting him, for Christ’s sake, I’m taking a breather.”
“Maybe you should just call and tell him that. Just to put his mind at ease.”
“Oh, for the love of Moses.” I walk into the guest room and retrieve my phone. I haven’t missed any calls or texts.
I dial Levi’s number and frown when it goes to voicemail after only two rings.
“He sent me to voicemail.”
“Wow, he’s really mad at you.”
My stomach rolls at the idea of Levi being so angry that he doesn’t want to speak to me at all. I mean, I know that’s how I was yesterday, but now in the light of a new day, I feel bad.
“Hi, Levi. It’s Starla. Hey, I just wanted to touch base with you today and say I’m sorry for being a raging bitch, and I’m not trying to skip out on you or anything like that. I’m not really mad at you. I just need a day or two, but I’ll be sure to text you and stuff, okay?” I bite my lip and wish I didn’t sound so stupid. “I hope you have a good day. Okay. Bye.”
When I hang up, Jax is staring at me like he’s never met me before.
“What?”
“Jesus, you sound lovesick.” He scoops some eggs onto a plate, adds two halves of toast, and passes the plate to me. “Just go find him.”
“No. We’ve been together pretty much twenty-four-seven for the past couple of weeks. A day apart won’t kill us, and maybe I need it. He’s amazing. But sometimes, he’s intense.”
I tell Jax about the day of the interview and how Levi fired the security guy.
“Well, it sounds like that guy was an idiot.”
“Of course, he was an idiot, but that didn’t give Levi the right to?—”
“Okay, stop talking.” Jax sets his fork down and leans in, looking all alpha and fierce. “When a man is trying his damn best to protect you from a real threat and love you at the same time, don’t sit there and complain about it. Because let me tell you, there are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t give a shit as long as you let them fuck you. If that’s what you want, you can find it.”
“That’s not what I want.”
“Then let him do his job, as both a cop and your man.”
I frown down at my plate for a moment, thinking about Jax’s words. “He hasn’t ever said he loves me.”
“I don’t know why any of us do, because you’re a stubborn ass,” Jax says with a humorless laugh. “Of course, he loves you. He’s done nothing but show you that he does, even if he hasn’t said the words.”
“Yeah.” I scrub my hand over my face in frustration. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. And I’ve done my best to cooperate with him. I’m never alone, Jax.”
“And for you, that’s like being at Guantanamo.”
“Exactly. And yesterday, when Levi came home and immediately started accusing me of basically allowing someone to stalk me for a year, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s a lot . I wanted a day off from all of it.”
“From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he did, too. He was frustrated when he called.”
“You’re right. Time apart isn’t the death of a relationship.”
“No, and I’m always happy to see you. I’m glad he called me.”
“Me, too.”
I take a bite of eggs, but they taste like cardboard. It’s not Jax’s fault. Everything is tasteless.
“You know what you need?”
“A lobotomy?”
“No, smartass. You need a girls’ night out. And I’ll even take one for the team and go with you, even though those girls are scary when they’ve had alcohol.”
“There’s no way I can go out dancing, Jax. It would be a security nightmare.”
“So rent out a club for the night. It’ll be a private party.”
“I’ll just give you my AmEx. Take my money and arrange it.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Knock yourself out.”
“Holy shit, I just died and went to heaven.”
“You found the cutest dress for tonight,” Meredith says. It’s mid-afternoon, and we’ve been out shopping. The reasons are two-fold.
One, shopping is the ultimate therapy.
And two, I wanted something flirty and sassy for girls’ night out, which Jax has miraculously arranged for tonight.
Byron, the police officer, has been with us all day, following us from store to store, always no more than ten feet away.
I offered to buy him lunch, but he declined.
“Does Levi know where we are?” I ask him.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I nod and turn back to Meredith. “It’s weird, don’t you think?”
“No. I think it’s sweet, and it makes me feel better that he’s here. Just in case. Jax told me everything, by the way.”
“I figured he would. It’s okay, everyone should know. The more eyes looking for something off, the better I suppose.”
“I’m not even going to get into the whole you-should-have-told-me-months-ago thing.”
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” A familiar face catches my eye as we walk through the mall. “Belinda? Belinda, is that you?”
Her head swivels toward me as if she didn’t see me earlier, but I could swear she was just watching me.
“Starla?” Belinda says in surprise. “Oh my gosh, hi!”
“Hey there.” I hug her tightly and then turn to Meredith. “Do you remember Belinda? She comes to every show.”
“Of course, I do,” Mer says with a smile. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too,” Belinda says. She’s a tall brunette with short hair and doesn’t usually wear makeup. She’s always been a superfan, coming to every show on the west coast, and one of my biggest supporters on social media.
“Gosh, I haven’t seen you in a while,” I say. “Are you living in Seattle now?”
“Yeah, I’ve been here for about six months or so. I came for a job.”
“Good for you. How is your daughter? Angie?”
“Angel,” she corrects me.
“Of course, I’m sorry. How is she feeling?”
I met Belinda and her daughter Angel through the Make-A-Wish Foundation years ago when Angel was so sick with cancer. But she pulled through. The last I heard, she was doing great.
“Oh, she—” Belinda swallows hard. “She passed away a year ago in July.”
“Belinda, I’m so sorry.” I tug her to me for another hug. “I hadn’t heard. I’m so, so sorry.” I pull away. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”
She shakes her head. “No, thanks. I’m fine. I’m going to be late for something, so I’d better go.”
“I didn’t mean to hold you up. Take care, Belinda.”
She nods and hurries off, and I exchange a sad look with Meredith.
“That’s so sad. I thought she was acting weird, but now I know why,” Mer says, shaking her head. “I’d be acting weird too if I was in her shoes.”
“It’s horrible,” I agree as we continue walking. I glance back at Byron, who’s currently talking into his phone ten feet away. “Should we get some ice cream?”
“The answer to ice cream is always yes.”
“You know I’m not hot after your husband, right?”
Sam and I are sitting at a booth in the dark club. Most of the girls are on the dance floor, but some are at the bar. I asked Sam to join me so I could clear the air. I’ve been thinking about this since my talk with Nat and Luke.
“Dude, if I thought you were after my husband, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Well, I figured that. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear to you that I respect and like you, and Leo is a lucky guy. I’m happy for both of you.”
“Thank you,” she says after sipping her margarita. “I didn’t like you for a long time. I won’t say I can’t be jealous. But when you’re married to someone like Leo Nash, jealousy would be the death of me. Every one wants a piece of him.”
“Not me,” I say adamantly. “And not just because I have a guy, but because that is ancient history.”
“I’m not worried,” she says with a confident smile. “I even like you. And trust me, I don’t like just anyone.”
I laugh in relief. “Well, good. And back at you. I guess being guarded is a necessity.”
“Luke mentioned that you’d like to use the studio.”
“If it’s not being used for Nash stuff, I’d really love to. I’m in Seattle for at least a couple more months, and I’ve written some songs I’d like to record.”
“I’ll have Leo call you,” she says.
“Thank you. Really.”
She clinks her glass to mine just as Jules and Natalie come join us from the dance floor.
Brynna, Stacy, and Meredith are dancing with Jax. Joy and Lia are at the bar with Alecia. Anastasia, Lia’s sister, is with the DJ, discussing what songs to play next.
They’re a fun group of women. Actually, that’s not right. They’re a ridiculously fun group of women.
“God, I’m out of shape,” Nat says as she takes a sip of her drink.
“You need to hit the gym more,” Jules says as she tries to take a sip of her martini. But she misses the straw, and it stabs her in the cheek. “I’m such a lightweight these days. Two drinks and I’m under the table.”
“Or on it,” Nat says. “It’s too bad Nic and Meg couldn’t come.”
“They have tiny babies at home,” Jules says. “Nic and Matt’s baby was finally born, and they just got home with her a few days ago.”
“Awe, that’s awesome.” I sigh happily at the thought. Nic wanted kids for years but wasn’t able to get pregnant because of being a diabetic and having PCOS. But they adopted a baby girl, and I just couldn’t be happier for them.
“Let’s send them a selfie of all of us,” Jules says. “Come on, hold up your glasses.”
We comply, smiling for Jules’ phone as she snaps the photo and sends it to Nic and Meg.
“The waitress is bringing another round,” Lia says as she and Joy join us. This is a club full of dozens of tables, and we’re all crammed around this one.
I love it.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything stronger than Coke?” Joy asks me.
“No, I don’t drink much alcohol.”
“More for us,” Lia says with a smile. “Also, your makeup is on point tonight.”
“Thanks. Jax did it.”
“Those women are crazy,” Jax says as he hurries to the booth and scoots in next to me. “All of you are fucking nuts.”
“Speak of the devil.” I smile at my friend. “Why are you afraid of women?”
“I’m not. Unless it’s the Montgomery clan, and then it’s fucking frightening. You all dance up on me and ask me to describe a blowjob from a man’s point of view and all of the other shit. This is why I don’t come to girls’ night out.”
“You love us,” Mer reminds him. Stacy and Brynna are behind her, laughing with their arms around each other. “Let’s pull another table over. Make it a big one.”
“Good idea,” Brynna says, and in no time at all, there’s enough table space and seats for everyone. The DJ has lowered the music just a smidge so we can hear each other, and a fresh wave of drinks is delivered.
“I’m just shocked y’all wanted to come out on a Wednesday,” I confess. “It’s a school night for all of you.”
“Not for me,” Sam says with a laugh.
“Luke’s awesome about stuff like this,” Nat says with a flick of her wrist, narrowly avoiding knocking over her drink.
“Honestly, all of our husbands are,” Brynna says with a smile. “And let’s be frank, they’ll all get a blowjob of the century for tonight. Not that we shouldn’t be able to go out with our friends, but it’s pretty cool.”
“Let’s talk about blowjobs,” Stacy says, eyeing Jax, who sinks down in his seat.
“No,” Jax says.
“Don’t be a killjoy,” Anastasia says. “Not all of us have heard this, so you need to spill it.”
“I’ve talked about it, over and over.”
“Not when we were here,” Joy reminds him. “Come on, you like being the center of attention.”
“What do you want to know?”
Of course, they wore him down. Joy was right, Jax does like being the center of attention.
“What does it feel like?” Lia asks.
“It feels like a blowjob.”
“Well, we don’t have dicks,” Anastasia reminds him. “So, explain please.”
“It feels like someone is sucking on your skin, and it feels really good.”
“That’s it?” Brynna asks. “That’s not what you said last time.”
“I’m going to write a fucking manual and just hand it out at the beginning of GNO so you can reference it and I don’t have to go over it again.”
We laugh at him, and he proceeds to describe a blowjob from start to finish.
“Orgasms!” Natalie exclaims, her glass in the air. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
“You’ve had exactly one drink,” Jules says to her. “How are you already slurring your words?”
“I don’t drink much these days. I have a hundred kids now.”
“Trust me, I know. I was there when you had them. I’m sick of looking at your vajayjay,” Jules says. “Stop making me look at it.”
“I’m done having kids,” Nat says. “No more vajayjay.”
“Thank the baby Jesus,” Jules replies. “Nate thinks he wants more, but I can’t make another one stick, so we’re done.”
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
“He wants more kids.”
“No.” I giggle, enjoying these women very much. “About the making it stick.”
“I’ve had a couple miscarriages,” Jules says, the smile slipping from her face. “And I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s sad. We have Stella, and she’s perfect and wonderful, and it’s okay for her to be an only child.”
“She’s not,” Nat reminds her. “We have billions of kids in this family. She’s not growing up alone.”
“Exactly.” Jules drains the last of her drink. “And Nate’s come around. He really didn’t want me to come out tonight. He totally pouted.”
She lowers her brows, tucks in her chin, and starts speaking in a low voice, mimicking her husband.
“Julianne, if you think you’re going out tonight, you can think again. I’ll tie you to my bed.”
She keeps talking, making us all laugh so hard, I’m pretty sure I pee my pants a little.
“I will spank your ass, Julianne.”
A tall figure walks through the club and stands behind Jules. We’re all snickering, and I know someone should tell her, but it’s so damn funny.
“If you don’t do what I say, I’ll bend you over this counter and show you who’s boss.”
“You’d better be talking about me, Julianne.”
Her eyes widen. She stares at me across the table.
“He’s behind me, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is,” Nate replies. “I came to get you.”
“We live around the block,” she says with a frown. “I walked, remember?”
“And if you think I’m letting you walk home alone at this time of night, you’re crazy.”
She lowers her brows and tucks in her chin.
“If you think I’m letting you walk home alone, blah blah blah.”
We dissolve into a fit of giggles, and Nate’s lips twitch with humor, but he doesn’t laugh. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him laugh.
“Where’s Stella?” Jules asks him.
“With Mrs. Pierce.”
“You gotta love grandmotherly neighbors,” Jules says. “You all need to get one.”
“Are you ready?” Nate asks her.
“I guess I am now.” She sighs and stands. “It is a school night, after all.”
“It’s two in the damn morning,” Nate says, surprising us all.
“Wait, it is?” I ask, and we all check our phones.
“Aww, look!” Jules turns her phone to show us. “Nic and Meg both sent photos back, toasting us with baby bottles.”
“So cute,” Lia says. “I guess they’ll be kicking us all out of here.”
“Thank God,” Jax grumbles, but I bump him with my shoulder.
“You love this.”
“Yeah. It’s fun.”
Just as we’re gathering our things and getting ready to go, another man walks across the dance floor, straight to me.
“Levi.”
“We’re done.”
My heart stops. “What?”
“We’re done being apart. You’ve had eighteen hours, and that’s about sixteen too many for me. I’m taking you home with me.”
I take a deep breath. The DJ turns the music up, playing one of my favorite slow songs.
“Dance with me first,” I say, tugging him out to the floor.
“One dance.” He pulls me into his arms, and we sway back and forth while everyone watches. “And then I’m taking you home.”
“Deal.”