Chapter 13
SHAWN
Kara flushed that gorgeous red again, the one that matched her “fuck me” shoes.
That’s exactly what I have in mind.
She climbed from the couch, taking a few wobbly steps away from me, her nervous hand pushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.
It, like this room, was the same honey shade as my family’s beer.
I wanted her hair in my hands. In my face as she rode me.
Spread out on my bare chest after I’d made her come so hard she couldn’t remember anyone’s name but mine.
I came up off the couch to stand, awaiting her answer with held breath, her icy gaze trapping mine.
“Okay,” she said on a whisper.
I had expected a no. In my excitement, I surged forward, and I moved so fast it instinctively made her stumble back.
I shouldn’t have done it, because I wanted her to feel safe, but she disabled my ability to think straight.
I smothered her beneath my urgent kiss, my body flattening hers roughly against the wall.
Her soft, hot mouth was addictive, and I was lost in it, drinking up her desire. I didn’t care if this was another ploy, like the one she’d tried at her apartment door last night to get me to forget about her security detail.
Whatever she wanted, I’d give it to her.
It made sense to go slow, but it was fucking impossible. Six long months of wanting her, of not knowing if I’d ever have her, had made me wild, feral. I attacked her with starved madness, and an intensity that was so powerful, it was startling.
There were steps to turning on a woman—I’d learned to work my way down. But I skipped right over that. I grabbed her skirt in fistfuls, pulling the fabric up until her black panties were exposed to me. To give me the access I craved.
Shock flooded her beautiful face when I touched her, massaging the damp fabric covering her most sensitive spot. When my fingertips found her clit, she let out a panicked moan like it felt so good, she worried she might come without warning.
Her back was slumped against the wall, and I stood between her shaking legs while rubbing two teasing fingers back and forth. “Already trembling for me,” I murmured, “when we’ve barely started.”
We still had all our clothes on, after all.
I’d take them off eventually, but I was too impatient to wait.
I pulled her panties to the side and buried my middle finger deep inside her, where she was soaked and scorching hot.
An enormous gasp punched from her lungs and her hands flew out to seize my shoulders, perhaps to brace herself.
I’d caught her off guard, but she stepped her feet farther apart.
Encouraging me. She wanted my touch as much as I wanted to touch.
I pumped my finger in and out in a slow, deliberate stroke, and enjoyed the way her eyes lost focus and her mouth rounded into a silent ‘oh.’ I ground the heel of my palm against her clit as I thrust into her again.
Her whimpering moan sent a lick of heat through me, and I dropped my gaze to watch the slick glide of my finger disappearing into her body.
“You like my finger inside you?” My tone was low and rough and dripped with sex. “You want another?”
Kara said nothing, but I wasn’t sure she could. It looked like it was taking everything she had to stay on her feet and keep her ragged breath under control. I pushed a second finger inside, and her hands fisted the sleeves of my suit coat, her knuckles turning white.
“Oh, fuck,” she groaned.
She swore so infrequently, it was like a treat, and I grinned wickedly, ready to follow her command.
I sawed my fingers in and out of her pussy, and satisfaction rolled through me as her hips began to move, matching my tempo.
She stood in her heels, and yet she rose even taller onto the balls of her feet to get more leverage.
To help me drive farther and deeper inside.
It was so fucking hot, my dick jerked in my pants.
But the ache for her was too powerful, too acute, and I sank to my knees in front of her trembling legs. Her hands threaded into my hair and her gaze was cast down, watching me with an unreadable expression. Was it anxiety? Or desperation?
I bunched her skirt at her waist, and I used it to pin her to the wall, trapping her there.
If she was unsure about what I intended to do, I was happy to convince.
I dragged the tip of my tongue up her thigh and traced the edge of her panties as a warning.
She didn’t tell me to stop, or to slow down, or that we shouldn’t.
So when Kara held my gaze and licked her lips nervously, it was more than enough consent for me. I curled my fingers around the sides of her panties and pulled them down her long, sexy legs.
“What are you saying?” she demanded, breathless.
I’d been telling her all the things I was about to do to her in German.
“That I’m going to put my tongue here and fuck you with it.”
In one swift move I lifted her skirt again, leaned in, and swept my tongue across her clit. Her whole body shuddered, but I helped keep her upright with my hold on her skirt.
“Go back to German,” she cried, forcing a laugh from me.
I stayed quiet after that, my mouth too busy to speak. I listened to her heavy breathing as I tasted and teased her, the tip of my tongue spinning circles over her clit.
Her back arched as a strangled moan seeped out of her. I lifted my gaze and caught her staring down at me, and she glanced away, her face as red as I’d ever seen it. She was embarrassed I’d caught her watching. Maybe she felt too vulnerable, but I’d done this partly to give her power.
I was the one who was on his knees.
My face was buried in her lap, my tongue deep inside her pussy when her fingertips tangled into my hair, trying to ease me back. It came from her in a rush. “I don’t want to have sex.”
I froze. “What do you think we’re doing?”
“You go down on me, and I’ll go down on you,” she said, unable to catch her breath. “Can that be enough?”
I sat back, my hands bracing her hips against the wall, utterly confused. “Enough?”
“You seem like the type of man who’ll take it personally when I don’t . . .” she could barely look at me, “when it doesn’t happen.”
“What are you talking about?”
She closed her eyes and her head thudded against the wall. “I know my body.”
“You do?” I said. “Well, this is my body now.”
I let go of one side of her skirt then slid a finger back inside her, asserting my control while my mouth returned to where she was naked and soaked. I wasn’t offended. This wasn’t about me. This was about the man who had trained her not to enjoy it.
I was going to show her what I was good at.
The tip of my tongue brushed back and forth over her lush, soft skin, and it took even less time than I’d thought. I studied each ragged breath she took, every sigh of pleasure as I used my hand and tongue to bring her to the brink. A look of shock and confusion washed over her face.
“Are you close?” I mumbled against her clit. I continued to pulse my finger deep inside her, the internal muscles clenching down on me.
She nodded, unable to speak.
“Tell me.”
“I’m really close,” she whispered.
I’d spent countless nights imagining what she’d sound like when she came. If she’d gasp or moan or scream. But in my fantasies, I’d always brought her to orgasm with my cock—not with my tongue or my hands. I wanted us to find satisfaction together, not one at a time.
A dark voice in the back of my mind worried that if I accepted her deal and she returned the favor, that might be all she’d ever be willing to offer. Tomorrow, she’d go back to telling me we shouldn’t, or what a bad idea it was for us to get involved.
I’d wanted her for so long, I was out of my mind. In the absence of logic, my selfishness seized control.
I climbed to my feet and kissed her roughly, silencing her sound of surprise. I let her taste herself on my lips, before breaking it off abruptly. “I don’t want your mouth. I want you,” I coursed a hand between her legs, “here.”
“W-What?”
“I want to fuck you. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, but I want this to be fair.”
Her silver eyes went wide. “Fair?”
“You don’t get to come if I don’t.” I knew I was a fucking asshole. That I was leaving her hanging on the precipice, but I didn’t want her to say no, and this was the only leverage I had.
Us being together felt inevitable. Couldn’t she see that? I wanted her, and I always got what I wanted.
But I should have known this was a mistake—I’d made enough of them already.
The hurt look on her face made me wish I was dead. Schei?e, I was so goddamn selfish. I’d left her leaning against the wall where she could barely stand. I should have stayed on my knees and finished what I’d started, instead of thinking about myself.
Maybe I could apologize and she’d forgive me mid-orgasm—
Her eyes narrowed to slits. Fuck. That wasn’t going to happen.
“You think”—her voice hardened with every word like she was gathering strength—“I need your permission?”
“No, I’m sorry. I—”
“You think,” she hissed, “I need you for that?”
I didn’t understand, not until her shaky hands drifted down to her skirt. One pulled it up out of her way and she used the other to slide two fingers through the cleft between her legs and touch herself.
My jaw hit the floor. Once again, I’d miscalculated.
Underestimated her. Of course she didn’t need me.
She’d spent her marriage being unfulfilled by her husband, so she’d taken matters into her own hands, so to speak.
The darkest part of me was thrown into chaos.
I wanted those to be my hands. I was supposed to bring her to ecstasy with my touch, not her own.
“Fuck,” I breathed, watching her rub herself.