11. Colt
11
colt
Two more weeks and I get to see Maggie in Reno. Never thought I’d want to leave France so fucking badly. The moment she left; Paris ceased to be important to me. I went and took pictures of the gardens for her because the magnolia trees finally bloomed. Meerkat Monday is fucking painful. And the masturbating is brutal, and I don’t sleep well without her. Tony and I shipped all their stuff home and since their room is empty, I sleep in it now. I’m careful not to eat or drink near her bed so I can preserve her smell. It’s ours really, but as weird as that sounds, it calms me to be surrounded by her. Everything seems out of sync for me. I need to see my perfect, sweet girl sooner than later.
Mak and Tony talk all the time too. This is like the greatest hookup in the history of hookups. All three of us are head over asses in love with these women who like each other. We’re like a happy little commune, and the idea of hanging with my ‘Brothers’ like this is awesome.
The phone rings, and my heart does that pinging thing because it’s got to be her. I take my dick in my hand because I can’t wait to tell her how much I’ve missed certain parts of her, and our lunchtime talk was just chatting about her mom’s chicken salad. This one is going to be very different.
“Son.” And I drop my cock and rip my hand out of my shorts, out of the blankets like I’ve been caught stealing. Boner gone. There’s a bang on the door, and I open it to Tony while cradling the phone on my shoulder. Of course he’s still up too. He’s been bouncing off the walls all hours of the night since Mak left.
I point to my phone. I’m done with my dad’s shit. “Dad. Can’t this wait until morning for you to once again tell me how you’re going to run my life?” Maggie makes me bold.
“I told you I’m not coming home until just before graduation. I’m going directly to Reno to spend some time with Maggie. We’ll be in separate bedrooms. Her parents have already approved all of this. There will be no inopportune photos or evidence that your photo op son is gallivanting so please don’t use that word again ever. And please do not go off about the Naval Academy.” Tony claps and dances around the room, sipping directly from a bottle of wine.
My father roars at me, cutting me off at the knees. I’ve only heard this tone on rare occasions. Each time resulted in either detention, suspension, or even more family tension. Tony keeps dancing oblivious to the dressing down I’m getting.
“Silence. Tuck your insolence back.” There’s a pause that could eat up the world. “Well, compliments to you. I mean it’s not what we expected, but you did succeed in derailing my plans. You will not be attending the Naval Academy. Time to pivot, son.”
“This is a discussion for Maggie. We’ll figure out whether this works for us, but I did not turn down the Naval Academy.”
“I did. You have more pressing issues to contend with immediately. You will address this today and say exactly what I fucking tell you to. My campaign is in full swing, and this could either clinch it or sink it. Do as I say, Colton. Everything you say from now on publicly will be vetted. You will do exactly as I fucking say. Do you understand?”
“No, Dad, I don’t understand, but I’m done being your puppet.” There’s something off, he doesn’t usually swear. There’s something very wrong.
“Congratulations, you’re going to be a fucking father.” I sit up and bend over my knees. There’s a cold sweat trickling down my back as I count days and cycles and moments when we chose not to use a condom. It was always just after her period and only twice.
“Wait. What?” Maggie’s not pregnant. She talked about cramps earlier. My father’s tone turns icy and sarcastic. My head is spinning and my stomach violently churns. No. This can’t be happening. This is not true.
“Start packing. You and Gemma are getting married.” The shadows around me grip my heart, and the sun gets blocked out momentarily. He just blacked out Maggie and her sunshine. I grab a garbage can and puke. Wiping my mouth, I listen to him instruct me further. Tony quickly puts his bottle down and texts someone. I assume Danny. Then rinses my garbage can free of puke. He’s a good friend like that.
“You’re getting married early next month, on the heels of graduation. In a grand affair. Instead of that girl’s prom you will report directly to Boston to prep for your future wife, so she’ll keep the timing of all of this a damn secret. No one can know a thing until we draft a press release for after the wedding. So fucking careless. There are pictures of you with that girl, and it won’t look good if it gets out you fucked around on your pregnant fiancée. You will reconcile publicly over the next two weeks and proceed as if this wedding had already been planned.”
“I haven’t been with Gemma in months.”
“I’d say four and a half to be specific.”
My voice is deep and unhinged. “Father. If you do this, it will not be for the greater good, for you or for her. This will change who we are to each other. It’s not the dark ages. I can care for that child and not marry Gemma.
His voice is a nightmare. “Optics, duty, honor, and the fucking presidency say otherwise. You don’t think I polled this and studied the results.”
“How long have you known?”
“A week.”
“Fuck. Dad.”
“You are out of options. Do what I say.”
I exhale, and it feels as if I’m in a very different world than the one I woke up in. “I will do my part for what’s right, not for what’s right for the campaign. But we will forever be altered,” I say with all the conviction I can.
I slump down onto the floor at the edge of the bed, and Tony runs over. I let my phone fall to the ground as my world turns inside out. I have to return to a place I’m not supposed to be, in a world I don’t want a part of, because now, I’m trapped.
My father is screaming into the phone, and Tony picks it up. “Hello, Sir. It appears that Colt has checked out. He’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” Tony hangs up.
“Dude! What is happening?”
I pull my knees up and put my head on them.
“You’re scaring the shit out of me.” Tony makes up a song to this sentence and keeps singing, trying to coax me out of my catatonia.
I hear Danny run down the hall and when he gets to the door he says, “Fuck. Is everyone okay?”
“No clue,” Tony says.
I raise my head. “Good news, not going into the Navy.”
Tony slaps me on the back and begins to do a jig, but Danny stops him and crouches down.
“Did Maggie dump you?” he asks.
“No. I have to dump her.” I scrub my face with my hand. I’m numb and pissed, and I might never stop throwing up. Gemma and I can both have morning sickness. Fuck.
“Why?” Danny kind of screams.
“Well, are you available next month? You’ll need tuxes because I need groomsmen.” My voice is wavering with despair. “Gem’s pregnant. Four and half months and clearly, she’s keeping it. She got my father on board and now it’s going to be a big fucking fat shit on my life.”
Tony says quickly, “You know her. She probably threatened some kind of scandal or something and your father moved swiftly to cut all that clatter off.” I nod because that sounds right, but knowing it doesn’t change my situation.
“I’m sure she’s looking for the glory because she told my father and not me. I haven’t even fucking spoken to her, and I’m supposed to marry her right after graduation.”
Someday, we’ll all look back on this day and remember it was the moment a light turned out inside of me. I don’t love her, but I will give that baby a good life. A baby. I still have a Calc final to complete, and I’m supposed to learn how to change diapers. What. The. Fuck?
“We always used condoms. And she was supposed to be on the pill. I kept track of all the cycles. I’ve only been with Maggie without protection.”
Tony smacks the back of my head. “That’s the one you should have knocked up!” I laugh a little but not really.
Danny puts his hand on my knee. “And we’re sure it’s…”
“You think the Colonel wouldn’t get a paternity test?” Danny reaches his hands out to me and lifts me up. “Colt. This sucks, hard.”
Tony slings his arm around me. “You can always get a divorce. I will never get a divorce because I can’t ever imagine divorcing Makenzie. Also, divorce can be messy. I don’t love messy. But I like this option for you.”
“The Colonel is making his run for the White House. There will be no divorce for the golden boy of a Presidential candidate. Gemma will finally get her dream to be the center of the spotlight.” They both flop to the floor next to me.
“My money is on a safety pin,” says Tony.
Danny laughs and I don’t get it. He explains, “Hole in the condom.”
I roll my eyes. “No matter. It worked. She locked me in, but I won’t let that kid feel one second of not being wanted.”
“That’s a solid plan.” Danny slaps my back.
“No one has congratulated me yet,” Tony says.
“You?”
“On becoming an uncle!”
I’m a trapped cog in this machine, but grin anyway. “Congrats, Uncle Tony.” Tony puts his arm around me.
“We’ll be there. No matter what.”
“I know.” My voice splinters like my heart, and I put my head on my knees.
The fracture just keeps spidering like when you tap a hard-boiled egg on the counter. Someday the cracks might heal, but the break never will. I stand up and pull on some jeans and a shirt. They offer the bottle to me, and I shake them off. Nodding to them, I disappear into the city to walk the streets and probably cry. I don’t see a way out.