43. Colt
43
colt
We’re sitting around the backyard with golden paper lanterns adoring the trees and U2 playing over a portable speaker somewhere. Daisy regaled them with stories of how she knew Maggie first and all the Brothers stayed silent and let her talk. Our bellies and hearts are full. All the kids, including my girls, are in bed. My jaw aches a bit from laughing, and I’m constantly aware of where she is in the room. Lizzie squeezes my shoulder as she grabs the empty dessert plates with the remnants of Liliana’s olive oil cake, from around the fire pit.
Hayden crosses his arms and stares at me. “You know I’m the Italian, right?”
“Non tanto da quando hai deciso di essere francese negli ultimi quattro anni.”
“I have not decided to be French. And it’s been four years not five. Ma!” My friend Hayden Corelli protests.
“What?” Liliana, Hayden, Law, and Robbie’s mom, calls on her way to the house.
“I’m Italian, right? Italiano, vero?” Everyone laughs as she waves him off.
The girls all follow her inside, and I’m left with my brothers by design or accident. Law speaks first, the youngest of us by six years. He’s also the most athletic, and the tallest motherfucker out on the mound these days. I’m grateful he’s here even if it means his team didn’t make playoffs.
“How many and how much?” Then he points to his older brothers, Hayden and Robbie. We’re in that rare part of the year where we try to grab any pocket of time together that we can because they aren’t fully booked in their sport.
Robbie says, “2000 they have. And side bet, six times so far.”
Tony leaps on that action. Then I realize they’re betting on whether Maggie and I have had sex. Christ.
“I’m in for two as well,” Hayden responds.
One by one they all take that action. “So, it’s ten thousand to the charity pot or I owe ten thousand? Those are the terms?”
Monica, who I don’t know that well, saunters out of the back of the house and sits on Dax’s lap for a moment and kisses his suntanned face. “What are the stakes?”
He kisses her again, and I’ve never seen him like this but I love it.
Tony answers for his brother, “Ten, two from each of us, that he and Maggie have done it.” Then he stands and pumps his hips into the air.
Hayden points at me, leans over and grabs my face. He inspects it and leans back in his chair. “I’m out.”
I won’t confirm or deny without discussing with Maggie. I text Maggie.
Colt: Wanna make 10 grand real quick?
Maggie: I’m not that type of girl.
Maggie: What’s the bet?
Colt: Whether we’ve done it. And they all vote yes.
Maggie: Guess we’re not hiding how we feel very well.
Colt: Let me smoke these jerks.
Maggie: Go ahead.
I look up at the group and say, “You all owe.” They all groan and yell. The word pussy is bandied about and I cross my legs. Monica smiles at me.
“Shoulda asked me. I knew,” Monica says. “When was the widower gonna have time to woo a woman, bed her the way she deserves and take care of those kids? Y’all all idiots.”
Hayden points to her, “I need to put you back on the payroll so you can’t get chippy with me.”
Dax tightens his lips. “About that.”
Hayden laughs, “No. There’s not a single HR in the world who would sanction what you do to her.”
Dax says, “Hear me out. I have an idea. Colt, it would take the betting pool off your plate and she could work with Claire about the money.”
Tony pops up and grabs another beer for all of us and saunters around the circle.
“If it’s taking that account off my plate, I’m in because gentleman, I am retired from the financial planning game.” They all give a round of golf claps.
Robbie clinks my beer. “To retirement.” Then he winks. He retired from playing, but the bullshitter coaches now.
“You’re only retired from playing.”
Robbie responds, “And you haven’t fucking picked the next thing you’re going to do.”
Law adds, “Except Maggie.” All of them erupt into laughter, as do I.
Monica smiles and says, “I’ll talk to you about it all later. But I’ll run your little charity thing. You know the bank account is full of your dumb ass money that’s sitting there doing nothing.” We all nod. “You children enjoy.” She kisses Dax and walks away.
Hayden yells at his former assistant, “I’m not so sure having you in the mix is a good thing.” She holds up her middle finger, and we all laugh. Hayden shakes it off and turns back to the circle.
We’re silent for a moment. Law breaks our peace, leaning toward Dax. “I’ve never seen you kiss a woman before.” We bust out laughing at our formerly very private and quiet friend. And how out loud he’s living his life right now.
“Yeah, and you’re a little too fucking chatty today. Hold it down some,” Robbie chides Dax.
I shift my weight and they all look at me. “We have done nothing. The girls aren’t ready for anything like that.” That’s not the reason I haven’t fucked Maggie, but it sounds better than logistics.
“And they were ready to move to Italy? I thought you weren’t doing things for anyone else now,” Hayden says over the top of his beer.
Law leans forward in his seat and looks at me. “Go fuck her. Please tell me there have been some digital or tongual orgasms.”
“That’s not a word,” Hayden corrects. “But have there?”
I scrub my face and say, “Girls, I have girls. They’re all I’ve got.”
The backdoor swings open with a spill of laughter and joy as the women in our lives return to us.
Dax gestures with his beer bottle towards the ball of beautiful, sexy sunshine who’s smiling at me. “Not true.”
Tony squeezes my shoulder. “You’ve always had her.”
Robbie grumbles with his arms crossed. “Get over yourself and let it happen. It’s okay. Gemma’s gone, and you don’t need to honor her memory by sacrificing even more happiness in this life. We’re tired of your sad guy thread running through your life because you didn’t get to choose.”
“We know you’d always choose Daisy and Sloane. It’s okay to choose you for a second, asshole. You can be a dad and fuck Maggie,” says Law.
“You’re all assholes.” They’re not. They’re the mirror that puts everything into perspective.
Hayden stands and gestures to Lizzie to come to him. She skips to him, and he gathers her in his arms. I’ve never been more jealous of anything in my life.
He speaks over the top of her head. “We’re happy assholes. You can be too. Get the hell out of your own way. And you have us.”
“Charming. Good talk.” I smirk at them and sit back in my chair. All the men have their women gathered near them and I can’t watch them all pair off.
Law sees what’s happening and slams his beer, stands and claps his hands together, pulling all of our attention. “That’s my cue. I’m out. See you all for whacked out Garden of the Spanish soldier’s park picnic extravaganza with way too many screaming children tomorrow. Why aren’t we going somewhere I’ve never heard of?”
Hayden offers up, “Because these to, who are just friends now, used to go there all the fucking time. Just shut the fuck up and show up.”I didn’t know where we were going tomorrow. That sweet girl with her nostalgia will be the death of me. If I can, I’ll slip out in the morning and get her favorite little pastry from The Smiths bakery for the picnic. She loved that it was called something so plain and it’s so Parisian looking.
Law salutes his brother and says, “I’m off to find some French strange.”
“Awe, that’s so sweet Uncle Law.” Claire says.
Mak scoffs and says, “You mean some poor unsuspecting French woman is about to get your strange.” We all laugh.
He raises his eyebrows, “Or perhaps two. I mean, I am in France. I could deal with a couple of pussies tonight.” He waggles his tongue and says, “I am full service strange.”
We all groan as he turns to leave. Maggie says, “Go. Be safe. Nice to see you again, Law. And that was kind of gross, BTDubs.”
He turns back to Maggie, takes her hand, and kisses the top of it. I stand up and Law laughs. Then Maggie says, “Oh, I see it now. You’re that guy.”
“That I am.”
“Not interested but I see you.” He laughs and pulls her into a hug. Every hair on my body prickles, and I ball my fists. That’s mine not yours.
Tony leans over into my ear. “Are your nails drawing blood in your palms? Oh, my friend, you want to rip baby Law’s head off.” I growl a little at my friend.
“I like this one,” he says over the top of her head. She laughs and turns out from his hug. Her eyes are dazzling in the strung white lights illuminating this face I can’t believe is in front of me. I ball my fists tighter. His hands are on her slender, almost bare shoulders. That’s my shoulder porn, mother fucker. Mine.
I smile and say through gritted teeth, “Me too, Law. But I more than like her and so now you can stop fucking touching her.” Everyone oohs and ahhs as I officially out us. I shift my weight as everyone erupts in laughter. It’s close to one am and she’s yawning. I step to her and her hand lands on my chest and I cover it with my own not caring who sees us anymore. We’re terrible at hiding things from our friends.
Her voice is trill and light. Her words only loud enough for me. “Take me to bed.” My blood races and my heart almost explodes, but my answer is driven by somewhere lower.
I lean down, moving her light brown hair from the shell of her ear and say, “I’ve waited what seems like a lifetime for you to say that to me. But you need to understand something. The things I want to do to you won’t be gentle. It’s been too long. The fantasies have been too filthy over the years. And I’m not the boy you knew.”
She pulls back, and I see the excitement on her skin as it quills with my words and the current passing between us. Like static electricity when you forget the dryer sheet. It’s everywhere and living on our breath, our look and all that’s been unspoken about what we’re doing and what will happen. I’ve never been more present in my life. There is only this moment and the body I’m about to worship.
“I’m counting on it because I am so not the girl you used to know.”