58. Colt
58
colt
I’m sitting on the patio in a tux, waiting for my leg to stop shaking. I thought there would be more people in the wedding than at the wedding. I asked them all to sit down when the ceremony starts so it looks like people are attending. But as cars arrive, I grin to see that the girls invited the whole town. All the people of our little walled town of Lucca who touch our lives daily are here. From the mechanic to the grocer, they’re all here. Ria’s been running around fixing all the flowers with his team since Maggie went upstairs.
I’m not sure how or why, but even the busboy who has a crush on Daisy is here with his brothers. I plan to watch him like a hawk today. There will be no first kisses on my watch. Even though Tony pointed out we were only three and half years older than Daisy when we both found our loves. Gus and Chiara arrive with large foil trays. They must be catering their last dinner for us.
I’ll tell the girls tonight about the restaurant. I applied for extended visas for all of us, and I’ll probably have to lean on my father for help with so we can stay. But that is an issue for another day. My father is the last person I want to think about today.
Even though my brothers are all here, I just want the four of us up there. So, it will be my little family and Robbie, our newly ordained man of the cloth. Dax let his license expire after he married Mak and Tony. Pretty sure Robbie will stay ordained forever just in case someone needs a minister. And he’ll bring that up every chance he can get. Hope Claire is ready for some papal kink.
I want the girls to know they’re a part of this. We’ll make it official when we sign papers in town. That’s how they do that here. I’m not sure any of this is legal, but I do know it’s binding. If Maggie and I have to fly back to the states to get some judge to tell us we’re legally bound, we will. But it’s kind of the only reason I could see going back to the states right now. That and a Boston Revelers game. Despite Enzo’s best efforts, I just can’t get into soccer.
Sloane slips out the side door and has a giant basket of flowers, a tie-dyed long skirt and a floaty white gauzy shirt. I’m worried about Maggie’s dress now. She’ll wear whatever it is, but I hope it’s not acid green. Sloane puts her flowers down and scrambles into my lap. I wrap my arms around her. She has a flower crown on that’s tickling the bottom of my chin.
“What’s in that Slygirl head of yours?”
“Nothing. Just needed this. Also, you should probably know I got divorced the other day.”
“That’s a shame.”
“But I still invited him to this.”
“It’s important to be kind even if the love wasn’t forever.” I pull her a little closer to me.
“Like you and Mommy.”
I’m about to explain to her that the only reason our love wasn’t forever was because she died, but I’m pretty sure my wise girl knows exactly what she’s saying.
It comes out as a whisper, “Yes, sweetheart. Just like Mommy.”
Daisy puts her hand on my shoulder, and I look up at her. “Oh, Bug. How gorgeous are you? You did your hair just like Mommy, didn’t you?”
“Is that tacky?” Daisy looks worried about her ring of braids on her head. Gemma used to do it as her up do and always got a mention in the society and gossip sites.
“No. Absolutely not, honey, it’s perfect.”
“I kind of wanted her to be part of the day.” I reach up and take her hand and kiss it.
“As long as you girls are here and present, she gets to live on. You get to be happy and miss her. And that’s how this all works. I love you both the most, you know that right?”
She exhales a big huff. “Ugh. Dad. I totally already told you this. It’s okay to love her.”
“I’ll try to remember. Okay. I think it’s time. Let’s go get married.”
Sloane hops off my lap and says, “Let’s.”
“Oh, and we’re staying in Lucca. I bought Gus and Chiara’s restaurant. I’m sure it’s all going to go up in flames, and I’ll be way over my head, but I’m hoping you two are going to help me run it.”
“I can dig it!” Sloane jumps up and down.
Daisy smiles and asks, “Can I cook?”
“Absolutely.”
Sloane smiles and asks, “What’s it called? You can’t call it their dumb name for it.” It was simply called Siblings’ Trattoria.
“Meerkat.” They both grin.
Hayden walks up and leans against the railing. “You did what now?”
Tony leaps over the side railing and sidles up to me. “The plan is we all go back to Boston and buy a city block for us all to live as a commune. So, you get like two years of this Italian bullshit, then you come home.” We all laugh at him, but you can never tell if Tony is kidding or not.
He continues talking, “Mak will be done with her residency and applying to hospitals only in the Boston area. That’s what I’ve told her.”
Dax says, “I don’t think that’s how any of this works.”
Tony shakes his head. “It works how I say it’s going to work. I’ll buy a block in Boston. You’ll see.”
Hayden adds, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Tony tosses his hands up in the air, then points at each one of us as he speaks. “Two years, that’s your timeframe. Do you understand? Jesus, do I have to plan everything?”
Robbie yells from down below the porch. “Dudes. Come on, I’m uncomfortable in this fucking tux. And Law is hitting on Sloane’s ex mother-in-law.”
“Daddy, we can’t let Law get a piece of that.” We all laugh as Sloane runs to him and drags him away. He follows. Ever the good uncle.
We take our places on the very strange mat raggedy carpet thing her parents insisted we be married on top of. The music begins, but I don’t hear it or see anyone. There’s a fitted stunning dress off-white lacy, bodice hugging dress at the end of the aisle, but it’s her face that takes my breath away. My perfect girl is smiling so hard and for the first time in one of our intensely emotional moments doesn’t seem to be crying. The women lead her to me, then her father takes her arm. Daisy walks ahead of her, and Ernesto seems to be trying to control a basket of kittens. Then I notice Maggie’s arm being pulled. Mongoose is on a leash and does not like it one bit.
I laugh and so does Maggie, her eyes never leaving mine until she’s a foot in front of me and hands the leash to Mak.
Who says, “Only for you.”
Then she turns to her father who gives her a world class dad hug, and I see it as goals. I don’t think I’m at his level yet, but I’ll get there. He shakes my hand and then pulls me into a hug as well. She turns to me, and my breath hitches.
“How did this happen?” she whispers. I grin.
Tony leans in and says, “I was bored and prank called hotel room 666. Who knew it was fate?” I survey my friends as they take their seats next to their significant others. Two other pairs belong to that prank call as well and it’s overwhelming. Lizzie’s trying to wrangle a squirmy baby. Law slings his arm on the back of Ernesto’s mom’s chair, and Sloane hisses at him. He removes it instantly and sticks his tongue out at her. My cute little hippie cockblocker.
“Maggie. Before we begin, I have to say something.”
She leans in and whispers rapidly, “What? Do I look weird? You’re second guessing. Don’t do this for the girls or because everyone is here. And they were playing Bocce wrong. I saw it. But I don’t really understand the game.”
“Focus.”
“What?” She looks at me and a small cute smile breaks across her face.
“I love you.”
“Oh. That’s great. Especially because I’m standing here in a wedding dress.” I laugh at her and take her hand and tuck it into the crook of my elbow. We turn to Robbie, and that’s when I see the first one step from the perimeter of the property. I glance sideways and two more take up position. I mutter to Maggie and Robbie. “In coming.”
Tony says loud enough for us all to hear, gathered in the gazebo. “Ah, shit. The Eagle has landed.” Dax stands to intercept but I gesture for him to wait.
The man doesn’t stop. Of course, my life can’t just happen. I’m sure the official photographer is in tow, as the social secretary yells at us for our impromptu bliss. I turn toward the house as a long black car arrives up the villa’s twisty and gravelly road.
Maggie is still looking at Robbie who has taken a very stern stance. My protective older brother has snapped into action. “What’s happening? Everyone is weird. Is this another surprise? Do we have Eagles now? That might be nice. Ooh. Or falcons, we can get that glove and train them to land on us.” Maggie says but then turns to see the gathering crowd of men in aviator sunglasses, dark suits and ear pieces.
I kiss her cheek. “Sit tight, my love, things are about to get real Colonelly.”
“Oh. No.”
“Oh, yes.” I nod. His elegant and commanding frame unfolds from the car, and my mother’s dress floats behind him in a sea of light blue.
He stands at the end of the aisle, squaring his shoulders to face mine directly, interrupting the beginning of my beginning.
His calculated and emphatically trained voice booms, “Did I miss the part where I get to object?” My mother stands behind him, clutching her heart. Daisy runs to them and my mother hugs her. I stand back and stare down my father. I feel shitty that my mother didn’t get invited. Sloane runs to me as Daisy hugs them.
“PopPop! Mamie! I didn’t know you were coming,” Daisy says as my mother takes her hand, and my father hugs my daughter.
I feel Sloane slink behind me. I know it was her, and I turn over my shoulder. “Face whatever you’ve done.”
She says as she steps around me, “That’s why I invited them. You have to face this too.” She’s going to be the one who kills me. I thought it would the melodrama of Daisy, but Sloane, she sees too much of me.
She skips back to them, and my father takes her into waiting arms while my mother takes a fucking picture of him with the girls. Maggie squeezes my hand as Hayden steps in front of me. I pull him back and nod. Sloane’s right, this has to be me.
I hear him talking to Daisy and Sloane. “Girls, you look lovely, but I’m confused on what you think is happening here. You can’t play with lives like this. If it got out to the public, you know it could backfire, since you’ve lost your mother so recently.”
I seethe and see red. Talking to me through others is one of his best tricks. But using the girls to passive aggressively manipulate me, yeah, that’s a line we’re not going to cross.
I pull my girls away from them and kiss my mother on the cheek. “Hi. Mom, can you take the girls for a second? It seems my father just played the ‘dead mom sympathy. How will it look to everyone?’ card, at my wedding.”
Tony yells from behind me. “Hell, yeah. I love angry Colt.” There’s a pause as my father looks over my shoulder at Tony. “Hello, Sir. It’s nice to see you again. Thanks again for saving my brother.”
I turn to glare at him. Dax nods at him, and Monica blows him a kiss. I turn to them, “I get it, I understand but wrong timing, people. Thank him later.” I pull my father away from Maggie’s parents and the gaggle of my friends.
Sloane yells, “I thought they should be here. And I stand by that. But Grandpa, be nice.” He raises his eyebrows. No one talks to him like this. And now there’s at least three of us doing it. I’m so proud of myself and Gemma for raising girls to do what we couldn’t until we were older. Speak up.
Daisy runs over and gets in between us, and my father puts his hands on her shoulders.
I spit out at him. “You’re the master of chastising me through someone else to keep me in my place. Coaches, the press, my sister, Gemma, mom, and now you’re using the girls. Nice move, Pop. Also, playing with people’s lives, come on. Really? You don’t see the hypocrisy even while you’re standing in it?”
“Daisy, Sloane, excuse us. The grownups need to clear something up.”
She complains, “No, Grandpa, I’m going to stand with my dad. And Mommy didn’t just die.” She stands solid as the oak he’s always wanted her to be. She’s not the wishy washy emotional unhinged girl right now, she’s the steely side that will serve her well in the future. Sloane brings Maggie to stand next to me. I grin at her and squeeze her delicate hand.
Maggie outstretches her hand. “Sir, so glad you could make it last minute.” My father shakes it very formally.
“Can I speak with you?” He gestures to the side yard.
“Nope. You can say whatever it is in front of my family.” I motion to everyone seated, standing at the front of this tent, and those by my side like a solid unit that works. The teachers, cooking instructors, shop keepers, mechanics, the busboys, the florist, the gelato guy are all here and I’m calling them my family.
“We’re your family, less you forgot, all the way across the world from us.” He nods his chin toward my stoic mother. His voice is that irritated, commanding patronizing tone. To me it’s like rubbing a 2x4 against a cheese grater. Rasping and useless.
There’s a strong hand on my shoulder, then Robbie, Law, Tony, and Dax flank the side of my little unit, with Hayden at my back. Like always. Claire, Lizzie and Mak stand to the side of Maggie along with her parents. From my periphery, I can see the Sloppy Sisters and the rest of our little town stand up and face my father. Basically, the cats, the caretaker, and his wife, who really might die at any moment, Liliana, Lizzie’s mom, and Ernesto are still seated.
“This is inappropriate, son.” I move out of the crowd and step to my father for the first real time in my life. I’ve built a wonderful life despite his demands, mandates, and path planning. It’s a world composed of pictures taken off the grid and behind the shadow of expectation. I’m damn proud of it. And I didn’t realize it until Maggie lit the whole thing up with her sunshine and illuminated the good in my life that I’d been hiding behind the clouds for far too long. I’ve been too focused on what had been done to me instead of things I’ve actually done.
I put my hand out to him, and he looks confused. “Thanks for coming to a pretty damn happy day in my life. You’re welcome to stay, sir, but please have a seat because this is happening with or without you.” Sloane claps and I shoot her a calm down look. She slinks into Law’s side.
“I’m not sure you’re understanding me, and what is going to happen here.”
I reel back from him and smirk. “Oh, really? My home, my family. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m getting married. The girls aren’t going to be trotted out for photo ops and announcements. We’re done being told what we should wear or look like. The days of matching dresses and bows in their hair are done. Sloane is much more comfortable in worn out bellbottoms these days.” Sloane tosses a peace sign towards my parents, and I roll my eyes but get back to my dad. “They’re absolutely fucking perfect the way they are.”
Maggie yells, “Hell, yeah they are!” Then she slaps her hand over her mouth.
“Right on, Maggie!” Daisy yells and Sloane gives her a high five. Then Daisy puts her arm around her sister and that’s all I can hope for, that they’re a team. They believe in each other the way my brothers believe in me.
“You don’t even know her.” My mom chimes in, and I do feel bad for the woman. She’s always trying to be on both of our sides. I know in her weird way she loves me, but she chose this life of service. It was thrust upon me without choice.
“No, Mom. You don’t know her. I know every mood and curve of her face and have dreamed of her since I had to leave her behind in Reno for the greater good of the country.” I use the hated phrase like a weapon instead of a point of pride. It’s what he said to me when he told me I was marrying Gemma. He bristles as he realizes the girls know this story.
I post up to the man. I’ve got an inch or so on him, and it feels good to rise above.
“Dad, you talk often about your proud sacrifice for the people. But what about mine, Mom’s or Trudy’s or Amy’s? I gave away love and acceptance. Knowing how it turned out, I’d do it again.” I glance at my girls. “Everything happens for a reason, and all of that. But you can’t put your faith in the universe or even a higher power, there’s not enough oppo research or contingency plans you can control. The optics are bad on too much faith. But I did, and that’s killing you.”
“Your mother and I go to church every Sunday, do you?”
Daisy answers, “Nope.” I smile as we all adopt the Curran family way to say no.
“Listen, like you’ve never heard me before. Listen like it matters, Dad. You don’t have to go to church to trust what magic the universe has meant for you. But as many times as you shamed me for getting Gemma pregnant, shame on you for pushing me into marrying a woman I didn’t love the way I love Maggie. But again, the universe had a plan. It had a Daisy and Sloane plan, and I wouldn’t alter that in any timeline ever. But you took away Gemma’s life as well as mine so you could be where you are. I’m proud of you, Dad, I am. You have achieved remarkable things. And you are the good of the country, but that’s a sacrifice we both deserve to have recognized.”
“Son! That’s enough.” His face is red and puffy right now. It’s his default face when he doesn’t get his way. I’ve seen it on CSPAN on the Senate floor. I’ve just never caused it. The secret service crowds in and gets within arm’s length.
“Really? I’m the threat?” Mongoose hisses from her basket, sitting with her vermin. “Yup, Dad. I’m proud to have served in the line of your duty. For this country, your version of family and your political gain. You’ve done more for vets than any President or Vice President before, and I’m proud to have helped the effort in my tiny way. But for the good of my soul, this is what’s happening now. Now everything is my choice, and not yours. And I choose this, sir.”
My friends all pat me on the back and guide everyone back to their seats. Maggie stays by my side with her light flowery scent of warmth and grace engulfing me. I take her hand and guide her to my mom.
“This is Maggie. She’s the soulmate I was lucky enough to meet in Paris and has all of our hearts and we have hers. Also, quick note, I’m staying in Italy and opening a small trattoria.”
My mom takes Maggie into her arms. “Thank you for loving my son the way he deserves.” She says over her shoulder to me, “You always were the best cook in the house. Even better than the cooks.”
“Where do you think I got my original training?”
I turn to my father who has taken a step toward us. “You have a choice now, Pop. You can do what you like, or you can stay and celebrate this joyous day that your granddaughters planned and invited you to. I’m sure there’s enough food.”
Chiara yells from behind us, “Manga!”
Everyone laughs and I tell him, “And there’s room for your entire detail in the town or we can double up on rooms.”
Maggie adds, “If you don’t mind cats, a lot of cats, there’s room for you to stay the night if you like. I can have one of the smaller guest houses opened so it’s easy to secure.”
I look at her and say, “There’s more guest houses? I only saw the ones that were kind of destroyed.”
She shrugs and points to the caretaker who is asleep. “They just told me yesterday. They nap in the closer ones and apparently live in the large one on the back of the property.”
“You know they just watch you work.”
“I do. Now, can we get married now?”
There’s a pregnant pause as my mother releases Maggie from a death grip. A smile breaks across Maggie’s face. Then she takes a hurried couple of steps and leaps, just like she always has. Maggie leads by her heart and stumbles into the world with that first. Her heart always leaping before looking. I catch her.
“By the way, those should be your vows! Those were perfect.” I laugh and kiss her. She looks over my shoulder to my father.
“I think you should know I didn’t vote for you. Because you made him marry her. But now, I totally will!”
Everyone laughs as I set her down on the ground. My father reaches out to her, and she takes his hand. He takes her other one, and they size each other up. My tall brave woman in a tiny body.
“Thank you for that, Maggie.”
“You’re going to like me. I promise. Everyone does.” There are cheers as Daisy and Sloane hug Maggie while I kiss her cheek.
Everyone sits as Robbie yells, “Forget it. I now pronounce you husband and wife!”
Maggie screams as she tosses herself at me. “Yeah!! Best wedding ever!”