Chapter 39 Grace
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Grace
After what we like to call our “Date Night Debacle,” we tried to settle into a routine.
Andrew pretty much stayed in my place. Though I offered to spend the night at his apartment during the week, he said it wouldn’t be fair since I was the one who had to go to work early in the morning.
Some weekends, we’d stay at his place, schlepping Buster, our unofficial child, back and forth.
He ran errands, job searched, kept Buster company until I came home in the afternoon, allowing me to give my dog walker a little break since she usually stops by around midday.
A suggestion made by Andrew. Most of the time, he would have dinner ready, some variation of Pinterest recipes and other things he’d grown comfortable cooking without the need for a step-by-step instruction.
After two weeks, though, I saw his spirit start to fade.
What used to be upbeat and optimistic, turned irritable and frustrated.
He’d been doing his due diligence, sending his résumé to different companies, following up interviews with “It was a pleasure to meet you” emails.
But the days passed, and he couldn’t get past a first interview.
So, with a lot of reluctance on his part, he decided to pick up some food delivery shifts.
Uber Eats, DoorDash, anything to scrounge up a few bucks as his bills started to pile up.
He hadn’t even told his parents he lost his job.
I know it’s because if he did, then he’d have to explain what happened, which would in turn require an even longer story about how he and I are a thing now.
Our habitual pattern of dinner and sleep didn’t change at first when he started this part-time gig, but once the alerts for delivery services peaked in the evening, I found myself alone more often.
I started to miss him. Not just the physical presence of him, but my boyfriend.
The man who would hold me when I came home from a long day at work while we exchanged stories like it was our form currency.
And a part of me couldn’t help but feel responsible for all of this.
It’s my fault he got into a fight with Frankie.
If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t be dealing with bringing random strangers their late-night snacks. He’d have a job, a future.
So today, I’ve decided to surprise him. He’s taken the initiative to surprise me, and I feel like it’s his turn today.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” I call through the phone. “Are you working tonight?” Asking Andrew if he’s going to be delivering today feels a little unfitting, so I stick with a vaguer term to ask about his plans.
“Probably,” he says. The raspy, flat way he answers me puts me on edge, and I start to worry if he’ll shut down my offer to provide him a much-needed distraction.
“Can you take a night off?” I ask.
“Why?”
My throat suddenly feels tight, and a nervous quiver snakes up my back. “I, um, just thought that maybe you’d want to do something.”
“What did you have in mind?” His voice picks up. Maybe it’s silly of me to be so nervous.
“It’s a surprise.”
“A surprise? Should I be scared?”
“Not unless you think waffles and the beach is a bad idea.”
“You are horrible at surprises.”
“Oops,” I say, feigning remorse. “But now that you know, are you up for it?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Great, I’ll see you after I get off?”
“Can’t wait,” he answers, his voice carrying the hint of a smile.
I hang up, relieved for this much-needed interlude.
We both need it, especially Andrew. Something to remind us we’re two people who very much care about each other.
And as we keep things on the DL, it’s a good way to remember we still matter.
Secret relationships, skeletons and all, mean just as much as all the conventional ones. Especially ours.
I’m about to get back to my workday when my phone buzzes on my desk. I expect it to be Andrew but am proven wrong when Jade’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Jade responds. “Are you busy?”
“Not really. Just at work, but I have a minute. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you’d like to go trick-or-treating with us next Thursday.”
“You’re going trick-or-treating? Avery can’t even eat candy.”
“Yeah, I know. But we got her a costume. We’re going to go to a few houses in our neighborhood and take a lot of pictures.”
“What is she dressing up as?”
“A baby lion.”
I laugh, imagining little Avery in a brownish-orange jumpsuit with a mane of polyester and felt. “That is adorable.”
“Right? And Trevor is going to dress up as a zookeeper.”
“I have to see this in person. What time are you guys going?”
“We’ll wait for you to get off work. So maybe around six? Seven?”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.”
“Great! I’ll see you next week then.”
“Okay.”
Halloween seems to have crept up on me this year.
Usually, the more minor holidays leading up to the bigger ones like Thanksgiving and Christmas are easy to forget, but I didn’t even realize we’ve entered fall.
Soon enough, I’ll be sitting around a large dining table waiting for my dad to carve the big juicy turkey.
All of it bookended with the shimmery ball drop on New Year’s Eve.
Maybe this year, things could be different.
With Andrew in my life, the tree I usually decorate by myself can serve more of a purpose than its usual nonfunctional—yet decorative—one.
Me and Andrew and Buster can sit around it while sipping hot cocoa, unwrapping gifts, and taking cheesy holiday pictures.
And we can go to our childhood homes, enjoy whatever festivities our respective families engage in.
Of course, there’s the matter of telling them about us first. A part of me almost wishes they already knew.
Then Andrew could even join me on Halloween.
We could wear some tacky couple costumes and watch Jade collect a mountain of candy under the guise of doing it for her baby.
I get through work with the thought of hazelnut waffles on my mind.
Once I clock out, I head straight for the elevators.
The doors are shutting in front of me when a hand slices through the narrowing opening.
The sensors kick in, letting in the last-second passenger, and when the doors slide back open, Noah is standing on the other side.
“Grace.”
“Noah,” I respond. “Heading home?”
He shakes his head. “I have a couple more hours left in my shift. You?”
“Yup,” I answer. My attention shifts to my phone screen lit up in my hand. A message from Jade flashes through, and when I open it, there’s a picture of Avery in her fake bristly mane, the rest of her chubby body in a floral onesie.
“Big plans?” Noah asks.
“Something like that.” The elevator arrives at the parking structure, and I step off. “Have a good night, Noah.”
“You too, Grace.”
I text Andrew to let him know I’m leaving along with the address to where to meet me. I drive straight to Marie’s to pick up the order of waffles I called in, and head to our rendezvous point.
It’s not late enough that the nighttime marine layer is starting to settle in. The sun is starting to angle closer west, making the sky hazy and orange. Shades of purple hide behind the clouds, creating the perfect backdrop for an impromptu date night by the shore.
When I park and exit my car, the ocean waves crashing into the sandy shoreline sound more menacing than they are. From the distance where a large stretch of sand and concrete still sits between myself and any splash of salt water, I’m able to enjoy the beach without getting sand in my shoes.
“Hey,” Andrew calls, meeting me at the curb. He has a large blanket folded and tucked under his arm, and he’s carrying an extra sweatshirt along with the one he’s already wearing.
“Hi.” I walk up to him, smothering the sudden skip in my step, and greet him with a kiss.
“How was your day?”
“Long,” I answer. “Too long. You?”
He shrugs. “Whatever.”
I nod my chin to all the things in his hands, including an extra pair of flip-flops. “You came prepared.”
“I figured you might need a few things to brave the beach weather.” He drops the flip-flops on the ground, the flimsy foam soles hitting the concrete with a loud smack.
He offers his hand, and I take it, slipping out of my work shoes and wedging my toes between the separating strap.
He bends down and picks up my shoes, plopping them in the back seat of my car, and takes my hand in his. “Shall we?”
I nod, following his lead. He takes a narrow path lined with bushes that turns steep as it guides us to the first patch of dry sand. We stop about half the distance to the water, and Andrew starts to lay out the blanket he brought.
“Thank you,” I say once he’s dusted off a few specks of lingering sand.
I plop the waffles in the middle as we both settle in.
Though we don’t say much, the fragrant ocean breeze and occasional sounds of nearby chatter and laughter filter our way, filling the quiet with a lulling, comforting soundtrack.
“This is a nice surprise,” Andrew comments as we’re taking the first bites of our dinner.
“Not really a surprise if you came better prepared than I did.” I slip on the sweatshirt he brought for me, one of his hoodies I’ve been wearing with the weather cooling down. He adjusts the hood so that any stray hairs covering my face are tucked inside.
“No, it’s a surprise,” he assures. “You just gave me a head start, that’s all.”
“I just thought…a break might be nice,” I tell him, leaning my cheek against his shoulder. “I know you’ve been really worried about finding work, and I guess I wanted to say thank you.”
“For what?”
“For taking care of me,” I tell him. “Cooking me dinner, hanging out with my dog—”
“Our dog,” he corrects.
“Our dog,” I say, rolling my eyes. “And sometimes…I feel really bad you’re in this situation. If it weren’t for me—”
“Hey,” he says gently, cutting off any chance for self-blame and guilt. “It wasn’t your fault. We both know who’s to blame.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “But still. Even if Frankie was the one who was egging you on, if we hadn’t been…you know, then you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“And if we hadn’t been…” He waves his finger between us, a playfully teasing gesture, pointing out how what we’ve been doing is something worth noting. “Then I wouldn’t be here with you.”
“That’s what you want? To be here with me?”
He turns to face me, cupping my face in his large hands.
The breeze blows between us, and it’s a stark contrast to his warm touch, making me hyper aware of how cold it’s suddenly become and how badly I want to wrap myself in his arms. “Grace, I honestly can’t think of a place I want to be more than here with you.
” He kisses me, letting his words sink in.
“You mean a lot to me, and if being with you means standing up for you and beating the shit out of someone who absolutely deserves it, then so be it.”
“You mean a lot to me too,” I tell him, my words squeezed through the lump lodged in my throat.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this with anyone.
You make me feel safe, and when I’m with you, I don’t worry I’m doing the wrong thing or that you might find some fault in me that’ll make you suddenly change your mind about being with me. ”
“Yeah,” he rasps. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone either.” A low rumble sounds somewhere in the distance, and the sky sits veiled behind a layer of dark clouds. “You know that—” His cautiously spoken words are cut off by a sudden downpour, and Andrew exclaims, “Oh shit!”
I scream, an excited squeal tacked on by a giddy laugh, and we both rush to collect our things.
I shove the takeout container back in the bag it came in at the same time Andrew whips the blanket off the sand and holds it over us.
I manage to toss the remains of our meal in a trash can on the way to our car, and as soon as we get to mine, we both pile into the back seat.
“I swear, that was not part of the surprise,” I tell him. Our breaths are coming out in heaves, but the smiles on our faces are anything but strained.
“Are you sure getting all wet and breathless wasn’t a part of your plan?”
I smack his chest, reacting to his bawdy words with a playful swat, but he grabs my wrist, pulling me to him. He kisses me, our damp skin creating a wave of heat filling the car.
“Honestly,” he adds. “I wouldn’t be mad if that was your intention.”
“Then I guess now’s the time to tell you I can control the weather.”
A mock gasp has him pulling away. “And you are telling me this now?”
“Shut up,” I demand. I hook my leg over his lap and straddle him. I’m thankful for the secluded street we parked on as well as the slowly fogging windows as his hands start to roam under my wet clothes.