Seventeen
Annalise
The feeling of dread grew all afternoon. Lunch was fine. The hike was fine. Everyone actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. I'd hoped all the nature-y stuff would give me peace, make me zen, but wondering what was waiting for us at the end left me feeling not quite myself.
Or it was the fact that Jared wouldn't leave my mind.
He seemed to find every excuse to be near me throughout the hike, which bombarded my senses. But when he wasn't by my side, I didn't like that either, and I found myself straining to hear whatever he was talking about with others.
Without my realizing it, he'd somehow become Mr. Popular amongst my co-workers. I supposed people liked being around someone so positive and happy all the time. Especially Marcella.
That didn't sit right with me. She was not his type at all.
Trying not to think about that, I turned to the trees and skies, hoping to find some semblance of normalcy in this strange setting. It sort of worked. A little. But this hike seemed to be endless, and all I wanted to do was shower, eat, then sleep, preferably in that order.
Tomorrow morning couldn't come soon enough.
I caught glimpses of the lodge up ahead, which was great, except for the way Ranger Jim seemed to be moving even faster, more pep in his step than I'd ever seen, clearly excited about whatever torture he had planned for us next.
The back deck came into view, and something that looked like...
Holding a hand to my forehead in an effort to block out the sun, I squinted my eyes trying to make out the shapes. The closer we walked, the more my stomach filled with unease.
And then, there was simply no mistaking what lay before us. Four large blue bathtubs were lined up in the clearing behind the lodge. Remembering what Jim had said about a chilly ending to the day, I just knew they were full of icy cold water.
Holy shit.
Everyone else must have come to the same conclusion because there were murmurs all around me, some excited, some fearful and worried.
"Oh, no," Mona groaned beside me.
"Oh, yes," Jared said. "I love a good ice bath."
Ranger Jim clapped his hands together with way too much enthusiasm for someone about to put us through icy hell. "All righty, folks! You all have been working hard today, so I thought a little recovery was in order. Nothing like an ice bath to soothe those sore muscles and clear the mind!" His grin was as bright as the sun overhead, and I had to resist the urge to glare at him.
"Seriously?" Mona whispered, her face twisted in disbelief. "How is this fun?"
"Think of it as a bonding experience," Jim chirped. "And there's a prize for whoever lasts the longest—an all-expenses-paid weekend at a luxury spa right here in the Catskills! Just imagine, two days of pure relaxation, gourmet meals, and stunning views."
I glanced over at Jared, who was looking at me with that familiar glint in his eyes. "You in?" he asked.
"Nope. Not a chance."
"Aw, come on. It's so much fun."
"You've done this before?"
"Yep. And it feels amazing afterwards."
"You know what else feels good? A nice, warm shower."
Jared and Mona both laughed as Jim went on and on about the benefits of ice baths and how if we all conquered this last challenge together, it would help us overcome hurdles in the workplace as well, bonding us forever with a shared triumph.
Fuck. When he put it like that, I had to wonder how I could still weasel out of it. If I didn't do it, it'd be like I was failing my co-workers, and that made me feel terrible.
Damn it, Jim.
"So get into small groups again," he said, "and gather around the tubs. You'll find timers and towels for each group. Oh, and feel free to pair up if you think that'll help you. Now go forth and conquer!"
"Max Sterling, you'll pay for this," I muttered under my breath, Jared chuckling beside me.
Some of my more gung-ho co-workers began shedding their shoes, a few of the guys losing their shirts as well, and then a couple brave souls actually did the deed, shouts and screeches and laughter filling the air.
We all cheered for them, urging them on through the shivers, Jim reminding everyone to keep breathing throughout. One person called it quits after only ten seconds, probably longer than I would last. But another held on for a full minute.
They had broken the ice, so to speak, and little by little, everyone else tried it. It was one of those things where I should have just gotten it over with, going first or even second, so I could have that feeling of relief.
But instead, I postponed the torture, nervous energy swirling through my body as I watched everyone else go. Mona tried to talk me into going in with her, but I declined, so she went in with Marcella, the two of them clinging to each other, Marcella jumping out a full ten seconds before Mona.
I handed them each a towel, and they stepped back with the others, going straight to the blankets that had been arranged on the deck where the sun was shining down.
"Okey-dokey, you two," Jim said. "The time to beat is one minute, forty-five seconds."
Jared whipped his shirt off and tossed it to the side, making me momentarily forget where we were. God, that chest was utter perfection.
"You ready?" he asked, a cocky smirk playing on his lips.
"Me? Ready? Not really."
"Come on. Let's do it together then."
"That's the spirit!" Jim said, his cheerful tone making me want to throttle him.
Trying to shake off my nerves, I looked at Jared, something in his eyes giving me courage. "Okay," I finally said, "together."
"That's it, baby," he said, the warmth in his voice making me feel a little bit braver.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped in, sitting down quickly before I could change my mind. The cold water hit me like a freight train, piercing through me, stabbing every single nerve in an excruciating shock to my system. It was way worse than I'd imagined, and for a few seconds, I didn't think I'd make it. Everything inside me screamed to jump out.
But then, Jared pulled me back into him, my back against his chest. "I've got you. Just breathe, baby. Just breathe."
I sucked in some air, and his arms came around me, wrapping firmly around my chest. I grabbed onto his arms, clinging to him with all my might.
"You can do this," he said near my ear in a low, reassuring tone.
Oh, God. I wasn't so sure about that.
"Breathe. Deep, slow breaths."
I focused on his voice and tried to block out the cold. His presence behind me was grounding, his confidence contagious. Our breathing synced up, every inhale and exhale together as we shared the most basic of functions, each breath a tiny victory.
Time ticked by as Jim counted down on his phone.
"One minute!"
All my co-workers were back on their feet, shivering in their towels as they gathered round, cheering us on.
"Go, Dee and Jared!" Mona shouted.
The urge to quit was overwhelming, but something about Jared's steady presence kept me anchored.
"One minute, thirty seconds!"
Every single second was a battle. The cold was relentless, seeping into my bones, so much so I couldn't remember what it felt like to be warm. More than anything, I wanted to give in. But I couldn't, not with Jared right behind me like this.
"Almost there! Almost there!"
More cheers erupted and a countdown began.
"Forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six! You did it! You did it! You won!"
Jared let up on his hold, and I shot up out of the water, relief flooding through me as I climbed out of the tub, soaked and shivering but oddly exhilarated. With shaky hands and legs, I grabbed a towel, stunned that I'd actually succeeded.
I looked at Jared who was grinning at me, water running down his bare chest, the sunlight glistening off him like a god.
"Told you so, Dee," he said, throwing an arm around my shoulder and leading me to the blanket in the sun.
"I guess you were right," I admitted, angling my face toward the sun's warming rays.
"Those are the sweetest words."
My limbs were a bit numb, my teeth were chattering slightly, and I really, really needed to pee. But I'd fucking done it.
We all warmed up outside for a few hours, some of us snoozing on the blankets and chairs that had been scattered around the clearing until it was time for dinner. I had to admit, this team-building, bonding thing had been a great success. In only two days, I felt so much closer to everyone, and I could tell our camaraderie was at an all-time high.
When we sat around the campfire after dinner, I was much more into the whole kumbaya thing this time, singing along with Ranger Jim right from the start without any coaxing from Jared who once again sat beside me. The man was persistent, I'd give him that.
And this time, I attempted to roast my marshmallow myself, glad to be closer to the fire. That chill from the ice bath before had taken root, and I couldn't quite shake it off.
Holding out my stick closer to the fire, flames licked the air then engulfed my marshmallow. Jared laughed next to me as I blew out the small fire, and I nudged his elbow. Of course his marshmallow was perfectly browned on all sides.
But that movement of my arm cost me dearly as I watched in horror while my marshmallow slipped from the end of my stick and tumbled into the edge of the fire.
For a split second, I just stared at it, my mind struggling to catch up with what had just occurred. My poor marshmallow started to sizzle and bubble before bursting into flames, Jared chuckling softly beside me.
"Looks like you got a little too excited," he teased, fire dancing in his eyes.
"Maybe I just like things extra hot," I shot back.
He quirked an eyebrow at me, leaning a bit closer. "Careful what you wish for."
I shivered at his sexy tone, then walked off to go get another marshmallow, needing a little space.
But that space didn't last long because I soon found myself back on the blanket, Jared next to me while eating my deliciously messy s'more. Licking my fingers, I felt his eyes on me and shivered once more.
"Cold?" he asked.
"Yeah, I can't seem to get warm enough after that ice bath."
His eyes filled with concern, he peeled off his hoodie and handed it to me. "Put this on."
"But I already have one on," I protested.
"Put mine on over it. It's big enough. And it's really warm."
Holding it up to my nose, I inhaled, the scent of campfire, woods, and Jared filling my nose. And warmth, delicious warmth. Not having it in me to argue more, I did as he'd suggested, and put it on, struggling a bit to get a hoodie on over a hoodie.
But Jared was right. It was plenty big enough, and with a little adjusting, I made it work.
Once I had it on, Jared arranged a blanket over my legs, tucking me in, filling me with warmth that had nothing to do with the extra layers. Never in my life had I felt taken care of like this.
"Thank you," I whispered to him, suddenly self-conscious.
Glancing around, feeling like a big old marshmallow myself, I wondered what my co-workers might think of this thing growing between Jared and me that seemed so obvious, like a big flashing sign written on my forehead.
I'm crushing on my co-worker .
But none of them seemed to take notice, focusing instead on a story Amir from accounting was telling.
Some people had their eyes closed, and a few had wandered off or made their way back to their rooms.
The sound of Amir's voice and the crackling of the fire lulling me, I lay back, tucking all that excess hoodie behind my head as a pillow. Jared eventually did the same, and I felt a little bad that he was just in a t-shirt.
"Aren't you cold?" I turned my head to ask him.
Damn, he was right there, his eyes shining in the light of the fire, his face more handsome than it should be.
"I'm fine, Dee. But I appreciate your concern. It's sweet. You're sweet."
I snorted at the compliment. "That's a new one. No one's ever called me sweet before."
"Well, they'd be wrong then. Because sometimes the best, most kind hearts are hidden behind the biggest walls."
"I'm not really very kind," I argued. "Or sweet."
"Are you sure about that?"
He'd stumped me with that one. Most of my life I'd just been frustrated by everything, frustrated by my parents, frustrated by the cage of my name and upbringing, the sheer unfairness of the world and everything in it.
And the result hadn't molded me into a better person. All it'd done was make me more selfish. After all, what I was doing now, this whole undercover operation, was purely for myself.
"Pretty sure, yeah," I finally said, wondering if he was even awake.
He didn't respond, the only sound the dying embers of the fire and the occasional snap they emitted.
There was movement near the edge of the blanket, and then a strong hand grasped mine. Fuck me. But that gesture made me melt like butter on a hot summer day.
I swallowed, the heat emanating from his hand warming my cold soul.His thumb rubbed circles on the back of my hand, simultaneously relaxing me and stirring something deep inside me that I hadn't felt in forever for another being.
Maybe never.
Through the fog of feelings, one thing became crystal clear. I wanted Jared. God, did I want him.