Six
B y the time dinner is over, I’m ready to hide under a pillow. I didn’t realize how badly Draven would be missed until all the attention was on me — and now that everyone else has excused themselves and I’m sitting alone, I let my mask drop.
I’ve never had to deal with families before. I never knew my mother, and my dad has always been more of a guardian than a parent. The Keepers never introduce their subs to anyone at all, and Jacob’s family was overseas the entirety of our relationship.
These people are... flawed. Chaos trapped in pretty, pristine suits and hair pomade. They hate each other, but they agree to pretend not to. For what? No one sees their family dinners. No one even knows the boys exist. And Verna, well... no one would ever expect her to love anyone.
This is my future.
It’s clear to me that Draven will be more of use to me as an ally than an enemy, so I grab a napkin and wrap up the rest of his pineapple cake to take it to him. I don’t know where his room is or if he’s even still here, but it feels like the right thing to do.
Too bad Alex catches me.
Again, the damned door is so silent I don’t hear it swing open. I don’t hear his dress shoes tapping on the hardwood or the little huff he lets out when he sees what I’m doing. I don’t hear anything but the beating of my own heart.
“I thought you didn’t like pineapple.”
Jumping slightly, I whirl around to face him. “I don’t,” I say, choosing the truth. “I was going to take it to Draven. I understand what it’s like to feel as if you don’t belong.”
“That’s... thoughtful.” He rubs the back of his neck with a sigh. “Look, I’m sorry that was such a shit show. I tried to have Draven eat elsewhere, but father insisted. I even offered him five grand to be on his best behavior, but I guess he decided to pass on the cash. Did he make you uncomfortable?”
Yes, but not for any of the right reasons. Facing my attraction to him is uncomfortable. Watching him be treated as second-class is uncomfortable.
“It takes a lot more than that to scare me away,” I say gently. “I’m glad you came back. Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah. That was actually pretty tame compared to some of the Sunday dinners we’ve had. I know he’s an asshole, so I can have Miss Maddy deliver that to him if you’d prefer, but he won’t hurt you.”
It’s kind of cute that he gave her that nickname. “Yeah, um... that’d be great. Thanks.” I hand it to him and shift on my feet, taking a tentative step closer. “Do you want company tonight?”
“Oh.” That flush returns. “Not tonight, thank you. Family dinners are exhausting, I’m sure you can see why.”
Well, shit. I’m not sure I’ve ever been rejected before. It makes me smile a little. “I understand, Alex. Have a good night.” Rocking up, I kiss his cheek and offer him a wave as I turn around to head to bed.
I’ll get him one day. He can play coy all he wants, but one day a little too soon, we’ll be married.
He can’t reject me then.
––––––––
I n the morning, I’m more determined than ever to get Alex to open up a little. I check the loft, the library, and the office for him, but come up short. Heading back the dining room, I find Shay and Madeline there speaking in hushed tones.
“I’m sorry to interrupt. Have either of you seen Alex?”
They share a knowing look before Madeline waves a hand at Shay. “Shay will take you to him. I believe he’s in the gardens.”
“Of course he is. You’d think he had a green thumb, but every plant he touches dies,” she jokes, linking her arm with mine. “This way.”
Gardens. Maybe that’s why he said he loves soil so much. “He’s terrible at it, huh?” I whisper, leaning in close as we walk. It almost feels like we’ve done this before. “What else is he bad at?”
“Women,” she whispers with a chuckle. “Somehow his little brother took all the charm, and he doesn’t use it either. He’s also terribly bad at poker, golf too, but that doesn’t seem to stop him.”
Draven is a lot of things, but I’m not sure charming is one of them. “And what’s he good at?”
“Being the heir Ephraim Creed has always wanted... the piano. To be honest, he doesn’t allow himself much more than that unfortunately. Hopefully you can help him with that.”
Yeah, hopefully I can.
I think he just needs a little warmth.
“We’ll see. Does he come out to the gardens often?”
“If he’s not working, you can always find him in the gardens if the sun is up. I think it’s the only place he gets any solace.”
If only I cared more about plants.
Nodding, I let the conversation fizzle out as we circle the side of the house, and that’s where we find him. He’s standing a little too close to a woman with messy hair and filthy clothes. Jealousy simmers in my gut. “Who’s that?”
“Oh, that’s Morella Thomas. She’s the one with the green thumb around here.”
They spot me coming and subtly move away from each other, her sad eyes dropping to the ground as we approach. “Hello, Miss Harbough. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She bows a little unbalanced as Alex clears his throat. “Good morning, Sullivan. Is everything alright?”
He takes my elbow to lead me away from the others, stopping me from saying anything at all to our sad little gardener.
That might be for the best.
“I’m fine. I just had... questions, I guess. I thought it would be better to ask you instead of Ephraim. Can we talk?”
“Of course.” He hesitantly holds out his arm for me to take, leading me away from his favorite place. “Ask away. I’d much rather you come to me instead of him.”
At least he’s approachable, even though I feel like I just ruined his day. “I feel a little lost here, Alex. I’m trying to go with the flow, but I feel like I’m missing something, always a step behind. So I’ll just ask. Clearly you want to take things slowly, but we’re getting married in six months. Everyone keeps referring to me as your fiancé, but I wasn’t given a ring. I’m supposed to be here for you, but I feel like I have to keep tracking you down.” I stop walking and turn to face him. “Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m happy to be here, and I’m nothing if not flexible. I just like to know what to expect.”
Frowning, he catches me by surprise when he nods in understanding. “I apologize for all of that. I’m just as thrown off here, believe it or not.” His mask slips slightly with his next confession, stress lining his handsome face. “I didn’t know it was happening until Draven was being ordered to go get you, and since then, I think I’ve felt the same as you. I do have a ring, I was just going to officially propose when we had your father over for dinner. Would you be more comfortable if I gave it to you sooner? I know that’s not the most romantic thing for me to ask, I’m just trying to help your discomfort if that’s possible.”
“No, no. Save it for the dinner. I know this isn’t exactly what either of us had in mind, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do this.” Getting the confirmation that he didn’t actually want me is a little hard to hear, but this is new. I’ll make him want me. “Dinner is fine. Please don’t worry about me.”
His gaze flicks past me back the way we came. “Can you tell me about your relationship with Jake? Did he make you happy?”
This feels like the type of thing I need to be honest about. I’m building trust, after all, and that requires a little bit of vulnerability on my part. A little bit of secret spilling of my own. “No, not really. He wasn’t cruel to me, he just... he treated me like something he was entitled to. He knew I couldn’t leave him because of your father, so he had no motivation to get to know me or treat me like I was special. It’s hard to be happy when you know the person you’re with doesn’t really love you.”
He offers me an apologetic expression. “And I just told you that this wasn’t my choice. I’m doing great here, aren’t I?”
“You’re doing fine. If I’m being honest, I never expected to be loved. I want to be what you need me to be, and if that leads to something more, then great. If it doesn’t, well... then I’m sorry in advance. I chose this life. You didn’t.”
Nodding, he places his hand near my lower back without actually touching me, leading me further onto the grounds. “Well, I think we can make the best of it. Tell me more about you and your interests.”
It feels like a foothold on the edge of a mountain. Something is off here, something I can’t quite see yet. The Keepers taught me to question everything, to notice everything. So why, then, did Provost Creed become so adamant that Alex take a wife by summer when Alex clearly had no interest himself? And more importantly... why is he playing along?
JANUARY