Eighteen
“H i, Miss Maddy.” I step aside and wave her in, ignoring the pitying look on her face. Today’s the day. I can feel it. After months of negative tests, it’s finally going to be positive.
I missed my last period. I know it, she knows it, Ephraim knows it. They chalked it up to stress, which I’m in no shortage of, but I know better. There’s a reason all those other tests were negative, and it didn’t have anything to do with my mental state or luck.
I wasn’t being bred.
But Draven, he’s insatiable. He’s filled me up at least once every day since I gave in. And with a missed period, things are looking good.
Unfortunately, it also means this is about to become very real, very quickly. It won’t be a hypothetical anymore, something we say to hit the edge faster. It’ll be real. A real baby, one I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, but born into a world I never intended.
For the first time, I take that stick with conviction. I leave the door open as I pee, wanting it known that there’s no mistake.
“You seem a little extra tense today,” she comments as I set the stick on the counter and wash my hands. “Did something happen?”
Smiling softly, I shake my head. “No. Nothing unusual.”
When her hand takes mine abruptly it catches me completely off guard. “I couldn’t have kids of my own,” she admits softly, an emotion in her eyes that wasn’t there a second ago. “But those boys are as good as mine, and I know I helped raise them right. They’ll be good fathers one day, and you, my dear, will be a good mother.”
I’m still stuck on the fact that she didn’t say Alexander specifically, like somehow she knows I need to know this applies to both of the Creed men, that when she hands me that positive pregnancy test I barely know what to do.
If she knows, others might too.
Maybe we haven’t been as secretive as I thought.
“Fuck.”
“Congratulations.” She reaches out to touch my face. “You’re pregnant.”
I knew it was coming, and still, it sends a rush through me that I can’t quite contain. I’m having a baby. With Draven.
And I’m marrying Draven’s brother in two months.
“Oh, hell.” I sit down on the toilet and stare at it, looking up at her after a while. “It’s about time, right?” I joke feebly.
Miss Maddy beams down on me in a way that screams she knows everything, but all she does is nod. “Everyone is going to be so happy.” As in Draven will be happy. “Let’s go see Ephraim together.” As in Provost fucking Creed has demanded to know first.
Of course he has.
“Right.” Standing up again, I fix my hair in the mirror and try to take a deep breath. “Everything is fine.”
“Take as long as you need,” she says softly. “How have you been feeling?”
What a loaded question. Heavy, like the weight of the world isn’t quite on my shoulders, but somewhere near them. Like the threat of having to hold it all is close, too close. But I’ve also been feeling young and mischievous and wanted, because Draven makes it so. “Nervous, more than anything. Not to be a mom, or anything. I know I’ll make a thousand mistakes and then make a few dozen more, but I’ll be good to them. I’ll love them, and I’ll do my best to make sure they know it. I’m just... nervous about what having a Creed child will be like.” It’s the truth, as close as I can get to it. “I guess it’s time to find out.”
She offers me a few kind words and a little reassurance as she bags the test and we set out toward Ephraim’s office. Every step feels like a mile, like the mansion stretching in front of me is getting bigger with every step, not smaller. It feels like it’s trying to do me a favor by prolonging the thing I’m dying inside about, but that’s just the thing. The more you put off something you don’t want to do, the longer you suffer because of it.
So my feet move a little faster, my steps become a little more deliberate. I’m giving him what he wants. He has no reason to suspect anything is amiss — we’ve been careful to make sure that I’m seen going into Alex’s room each night and not seen when I leave it — so this is just Maddy and I delivering good news. Fulfilling a task.
There’s nothing to be afraid of.
Yet when he tells us to come in and Maddy opens the doors, my heart forgets how to beat quite the right way. It feels like it’s stuttering, like an engine that doesn’t want to turn over.
I’m sure that’s great for the baby.
“Madeline. Miss Harbough,” he says coldly. “What can I do for you? I was just about to make an important call.”
I’m sure he was.
“We have something we thought you’d like to see,” Maddy says cheerfully, handing the bag over with the little white stick and two pink lines that changed my life. “It’s positive.”
He eyes it suspiciously, then breaks out into the first genuine smile I’ve ever seen on his face. “That’s wonderful news. Well done, Miss Harbough. Madeline, tell the staff to prepare brunch as soon as possible, and make sure everyone attends. The staff, Alexander, Draven, Verna... I want everyone there to hear it.”
My own smile, forced as it was, falters. This isn’t how I wanted the boys to find out. I wanted to show them that little white stick and two pink lines, because it’s changing their lives too.
Ephraim ruins everything.
“Of course, Mr. Creed. I’ll get right on it. Miss Harbough, would you come with me? I’m sure—”
“No, no. She’ll stay here with me. We have to call her father, after all, and start making arrangements for her to see an obstetrician. She’ll come down to brunch with me when it’s time.”
I don’t get a chance to ask Maddy to soften the blow for me. I know she won’t; she’s kind to a fault but she’s not one to disobey orders or upset Ephraim unnecessarily. He’ll know if she tells him. I’ve spent enough time around enough powerful men to know when they’ve caught some sort of a scent, and Ephraim Creed definitely has.
He’ll be watching the boys like a hawk to gauge their reactions.
I just hope they’re better at hiding the truth than I am.
––––––––
O nce my first appointment is set up and my dad’s assistant has been notified, Ephraim finally lets me out of his stuffy office and guides me down to the dining room. The walk is uncomfortable at best with his hand on the small of my back and his cologne assaulting my senses, but it’s not as terrible as the sight when I walk into the room.
Verna looks smug, sitting in her rightful seat and glaring daggers at Morella across the room. The poor girl has her head bowed like she knows what’s coming, but Alex looks confused and oblivious.
And Draven... he has a small bowl of pineapple chunks he’s snacking on, his hand freezing in front of his mouth when he sees who is entering the room with his father.
He’s playing it off in seconds, but I don’t miss the way he lightly pushes the food away like his appetite is gone as worry creases his brow.
But god, he’s so beautiful. It’s like my body knows exactly who’s responsible for giving me what I’ve always wanted, and the knee-jerk reaction to go to him has me stumbling.
I can’t. Not here.
I’m so, so sorry Dray.
“Have a seat,” Ephraim says quietly, and I don’t hesitate to head straight for Alex. It feels wrong, it is wrong, but I’ll make it up to Dray later.
As I lean in to pretend to kiss his cheek, I whisper, “Hi. Take my hand when I sit down, and remember to smile when he starts talking.”
That’s all I have time to say before it would seem awkward, so I sit and lace my fingers with the wrong man.
His fingers are tense and foreign in my grasp, making my eyes naturally drop to Draven’s longingly just as Ephraim Creed begins talking. “Our family has been blessed.” He holds out his mimosa toward us with a smile that actually meets his eyes. “Congratulations, son. You’re going to be a father, and I couldn’t be prouder. It’s a boy, I just know it.”
Draven sits up straighter from the corner of my eye, but when Alex reaches out and grabs my face, I hate that I can no longer see him.
All I see are the confused eyes of the man I’m destined to marry and hope what everyone else sees is love.
Please don’t kiss me.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks, genuinely shocked. And why wouldn’t he be? I never told him. Dray never told him. As far as Alex knows, I’ve been celibate since Christmas.
“Yes,” I say shakily. “I mean, it’s just one positive test, but yes. Yes, I’m pregnant.”
Panic shines in his brown eyes as he stares straight through me, his mind instantly going to the only woman he’s ever touched, but as usual Draven comes to his rescue.
“Congratulations, big brother. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
His voice is like smooth silk, calm and collected as always, which somehow makes it even harder for me.
“Of course he did. He simply needed to get his priorities straight,” Verna says happily. “This will be so exciting. Another baby in the house? I can’t wait!”
For what, another opportunity to drown a bastard? My stomach turns as I let go of Alex’s hands and reach for my water, internally rolling my eyes when his gaze flicks to Morella like he wants to go to her. Of course he does.
“This is what we were working toward, right, fiancé? I think being a little nervous is normal, right? Father, you were nervous... right?”
If he says right one more time I might toss him a right fucking hook.
Draven’s fingers find mine under the table, his grip tightening enough to ground me as Ephraim says, “No. I wasn’t nervous. I’m a man. Are you?”
I nearly laugh, but the way Alex sputters and chokes on his mimosa is borderline pathetic.
“Of course I am. I’m just a little shocked it’s real.”
He reaches under the table to try and touch my stomach like a doting husband, but his hand crashes straight into his brother’s.
Oh, fuck. I want to vanish.
Somehow they both end up touching my stomach, touching the evidence like somehow it’ll make it more real. It’s far, far too soon to feel anything but my indigestion, yet it doesn’t stop either one of them.
“Well, we’ll have to go shopping, won’t we?” Verna claps her murderous little hands together as Morella cries silently in the corner. I have to give her props — I wouldn’t notice if the light wasn’t catching her tears just right.
I get it. I can’t say that I don’t.
My soon-to-be step-mother begins gushing over the colors she used in Alexander’s nursery, and immediately starts pushing a nautical theme.
“It’s a little soon, Mother,” Alex says with a chuckle. “Let’s have our first ultrasound before we start buying things.”
“He’s a Creed,” their Father rushes out. “Don’t doubt how strong our genes are, son. There is no too soon. That baby will be born.”
I keep waiting for Draven to say something snarky like he usually does, but he seems to be more speechless than usual.
Couldn’t imagine why.
I squeeze his hand as I meet his eyes for the first time. “Are you happy for us, Dray?”
“Absolutely.” His voice is a little thicker now, that silk turning into something that warms my chest and tells me it will all be okay. He’ll make sure of it. “I’m going to be the best fucking uncle you’ve ever seen, little keeper.”
It’s good enough because it’s all we’re allowed to have right now, but there’s a huge part of me that wants to kiss him and refuse to stop until someone pulls a gun. Because no, he won’t be the best uncle I’ve ever seen.
He’ll be the best father.