Chapter 16 Faith
FAITH
The scream catches in my throat.
Ropes bite into my wrists. A cold body presses against my skin. The walls are too close, the air thick and sour. I’m caged. Powerless. Trapped in a memory that won’t let go.
Hands. His voice. The belt. I twist and thrash, heart pounding, lungs burning.
“Faith.” Hayden’s voice breaks through the fog.
My eyes fly open. The room’s dark but familiar—his hoodie wrapped around me, the scent of leather and motor oil grounding me in the now. My chest rises and falls like I’ve run a mile, a sheen of sweat coating my skin.
His thumb caresses my cheek. “Another nightmare?”
I nod. “It’s always the same like I’m trapped.”
“Get up, Sunshine. Let’s go out.”
I blink at him, then glance at the window. It’s dark. “It’s the middle of the night?”
He shrugs like that matters. “And?”
My lips twitch despite myself. “Where are we going?”
“For a ride.”
A flutter stirs in my chest. I always feel free on the road with him. I throw the covers back. “Two minutes.” I disappear into the bathroom, heart beating faster than it has in days. When I look in the mirror, there’s a glimmer of the girl I used to be—before everything shattered.
Each new day, with Nigel behind bars awaiting trial for sexual assault, Hayden helps me piece a little more of myself back together.
The memories still come in flashes—Nigel’s hands where they shouldn’t have been, the sound of his belt, the shame I can’t scrub off.
They say he didn’t rape me. That I fought him off. That Hayden got there just in time.
But he still touched me. Still stripped me down while I was unconscious… that part haunts me most of all.
When I come back out, I’m wearing Hayden’s hoodie. It’s oversized on me, drowning me in comfort, like I’m wrapped in a permanent hug, drenched in his scent of leather and oil.
He’s waiting at the door, helmet in hand, like some kind of guardian angel with a past just as fucked up as mine. His gaze flickers down my chunky thighs in my leggings, and my cheeks heat, but I don’t shy away from the way he looks at me. I’m still me. And he still wants me.
He tosses me the spare helmet. “Let’s ride, Sunshine.”
The cold air bites as we hit the road, but I don’t care. I hold on tight, cheek pressed against his solid back, safe behind an impenetrable wall of muscle and leather. I breathe him in, the scent of leather and safety. Mine.
We don’t speak. There’s no need. Just the engine’s purr, the wind tearing at my hair, the quiet comfort of being close to him again, and the feeling of freedom that comes with being on the road.
He takes the long way around the lake; the moon shimmering off the water like it’s happy to see us. When the engine cuts, it’s so quiet I can hear my heartbeat.
I slide off the bike and wrap my arms around myself. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper.
“Yeah,” he says. But he’s not looking at the view. He’s looking at me.
I sit on a fallen tree trunk, tucking my hair behind my ear. I feel lighter out here, like the air’s carrying away all the bad. Like I can breathe again.
Hayden drops beside me and laces his fingers through mine. I hold on tighter than I probably should. “Do you remember why you left the garage?” he asks.
I nod, throat tight. That day and his words still sting. But it seems insignificant now out here, like the lake swallowed some of it. I haven’t mentioned it. Not wanting to address it. If I don’t speak it out loud, it’s like it never happened.
“I don’t know what you heard,” he continues, “but the only reason I said what I said was because I wanted to talk with your brother before he found out about us from anyone else.” His eyes lock onto mine.
“I’d never deny you. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine… we just sealed the deal that night.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “I thought you’d never notice me,” I whisper.
He chuckles, soft and low. “I noticed, Faith. I just shouldn’t have. Not until I’d spoken with Oak.”
My fingers trail over the tattoo of a crow on his hand, tracing the ink that matches my father’s and my brother’s. “Do you think Oak will be ok with us?”
“We’ll find out tomorrow,” he says. “At least he won’t be able to kill me. Not yet, anyway.” He grins. “We’d best make the most of the next three months.”
“Maybe it’ll give him time to get used to the idea.” I glance up at him. “I mean, who wouldn’t want you for a brother-in-law?”
His eyes soften. “I still have some gifts to buy you.”
“Oh yeah. I can’t wait for my supersonic pro toothbrush.” A giggle bursts from my lips.
He laughs along with me. “And your water flosser.”
I bite my lip, my body already warming under his gaze. He hasn’t laid a finger on me since that night. He’s been nothing but gentle and patient. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to finish what we started… properly. Safely. When I’m ready.
“But for now I got you this.” He pulls out a necklace with a winged pendant. “So everyone knows you’re a Crow Queen. Mine. From now on, you’re never flying solo.”
Something flutters in my chest like a bird taking flight for the first time. “I want you to mark me.”
His lips curl into a smile. “I will. Just not before we see your brother. Or he really will lose it.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, looking out at the still waters. So quiet, like the calm before the storm. “Can we stay?” I ask quietly. “Just a little longer? I want to see the sun come up.”
He squeezes my hand. “Sure. As long as you like.”
We sit like this, side by side on an old fallen tree, the sunrise bleeding pink and gold across the lake. light shimmering off the water bathing us in a silvery glow, as if cleansing us and giving us a fresh start. And for now, there’s no past, no club, no brother between us.
Just two people watching the world wake up.
“Whatever happens with Oak, I’m not giving you up.” He wraps an arm around me. “Even if your brother tries to shoot me in the foot.”
I giggle. “I hope you have fast reflexes.”
“Don’t you worry about me.” He presses a kiss to my temple, and I close my eyes, tucking myself into his side like I’ve finally found my place in the world. Each kiss fills a crack in my chest, his arms tight around my waist.
I breathe in a lungful of air like taking my first breath after being under water. “I’m not giving you up either,” I whisper. “Not now. Not ever.”
He exhales like he’s been holding that breath for as long as I have. “Good. Because you’ve given me something to fight for.”
As the light dances across the water, I finally believe him, because I have something worth fighting for too. For the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to my future.