16. Beth
Beth
“Michael, I told you, I’m here for the summer. I’m not coming home early,” I seethed at him through the phone. I was packing for the beach, and my nerves were already shot. I didn’t need another distraction.
He had called out of the blue asking me to consider coming home early, and I was so over him trying to take control of my life.
“Beth, it’s not me,” he said, surprisingly calm.
“Your dad fell yesterday in the barn. Your mom took him in last night, and he didn’t break anything, but it sounds like he sprained his ankle.
He’s been dropping the ball more than usual.
I figured you’d want to know so that you could come home and take over. ”
“If it was this bad, why isn’t my mom calling me then?” I asked, stopping myself and second-guessing my decision to be in Port St. Clair at all.
“I don’t know,” Michael said. “You know how she is. She probably doesn’t want to interrupt your vacation.” I could hear him practically roll his eyes over the phone with his tone.
“I’m not on vacation.” I tried to settle my voice. “I’m here taking classes, learning, putting in the time to be able to move the business in a more modern direction. You know this.”
“Yeah, but come on, Beth. Is this really necessary?” he asked, an obvious clip to his voice.
Everything in my body strung tight as I told myself he wasn’t worth it.
Over the years, Michael had always been the good guy next door, the easy choice, the one who wouldn’t make waves, and it was just now that I was realizing how bad it was that I was tied down with him for so many years.
Without me realizing it, he was holding me back.
He wanted a repeat of what my parents’ life was.
And not that there was anything wrong with that, but I wanted—no, I needed—to be my own person.
I couldn’t have him coercing me into a life that I didn’t want.
It had been happening for years, and finally, after having some space, it was clear to see.
I took a breath before responding. “It is necessary. And frankly, it’s not your decision at all.
It has nothing to do with you. We’re not together.
We’re not going to be together. And you’re not part of my family.
It’s not up to you, and it’s incredibly frustrating to see you manipulating the situation like this. ”
“Manipulating? Come on,” Michael said before taking a breath, calming himself as well.
“All I’m saying is that you can go to class online or figure out another way to do it.
You don’t need to do it at the expense of your family.
The Beth I know would be packing up the car and headed home to help her parents—”
My heart raced as he went on. “Stop!” I shouted at him.
Silence filled the phone line.
“Michael, you need to stop,” I said. “If things were as bad as you say, I know that my mom would for sure be calling me up for help… and she hasn’t called.
I will reach out to her, but you need to leave it alone.
We can’t keep doing this. I need to live my own life.
Please don’t reach out to me again unless it’s about the business. We’re done. I can’t do this anymore.”
“I’m sorry, but—” he started.
“I’m serious, Michael. What even is this?” I asked. “This is all kinds of messed up, and frankly, had you and I not been working and living together all these years, I don’t think it would have ever made sense with you.”
Even though we had started the conversation talking about my dad, it had clearly morphed into something else. And after years of not asking for what I wanted, I was done.
“I care for you, Beth.” I heard his hurt through the line, and I hurt too, just for a different reason.
“I care for you too, but you were right before. We don’t work. Maybe we never did. You deserve someone who will give you what you want.” I paused. “And that’s not me.”
There was dead air over the phone.
I hit the button to end the call, grabbed my bag, and forced myself to walk to the door. I knew I’d done the right thing, but I couldn’t help the tear that trickled down my cheek.
My Jeep hummed along through the few blocks of traffic, and I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for traffic to clear.
“Okay, so you’re sure he’s okay?” I asked my mom, feeling the tension slowly lift off my shoulders.
“Oh, honey, he’s absolutely fine,” Mom said, sounding relaxed. “The doctor said it’s just bruised. It’s not even worth talking about.”
I paused. “Okay. If you say so.”
“I don’t want you worrying about what’s happening over here. Just do your thing, and we’ll see you in a couple weeks when we come down.”
Even though I drew a line in the sand with Michael, the guilt flooded my chest, being pulled in multiple directions. I took my mom’s advice though and decided to stay, trying to focus on what I wanted for a change.
My stomach flip-flopped, and I felt this uncomfortable mix of excitement and anxiety as I headed to the beach to meet Johnny and his family.
I had never officially met the family of someone I was dating.
Michael’s family didn’t count since we’d grown up together.
I’d known them my whole life. This felt different.
Not that I was dating Johnny. Even though this felt serious, it wasn’t.
I didn’t know what to think, and my stomach didn’t know either.
I parked in the lot just beside the shore and as I unpacked my car, the joyful screams of kids at the beach echoed in my ears. It was now or never. I grabbed my bag and water and headed over.
Johnny had texted earlier to let me know they were already there and to look for their umbrella and chairs. I looked out at the beach. There were probably fifty umbrellas I could see, and that was only this direction.
“Beth! Over here!” Johnny waved at me from about twenty-five yards away.
I waved and made my way to their spot, weaving in and out of the throng of beachgoers.
“Hey,” Johnny said, walking up to me. “Glad you could make it.” He said it quietly and gave me a quick kiss.
I looked at him, then stood on my tiptoes to look over at his brother and sister-in-law who were busy getting lunch out of the cooler. “Glad I could come.”
“You remember Ryan and Kinsley,” Johnny said. “This is Felicia.” He waved back and forth, introducing us.
“Hi Beth, nice meeting you. Don’t mind us, we’re just getting everything set up still.
We’re still on the two-nap schedule, so we’re trying to make this work today.
” She laughed and kneeled, wearing a giant brimmed hat that blew in the wind.
“I think we’re about there.” She handed a shovel to Kinsley, who seemed thrilled to be here.
She had one of those adorable, big toothy smiles and wore a hat and swimsuit that matched her mother’s.
Something tugged in my chest as I watched them.
I set up my towel and leaned back, okay with taking a break to breathe in the lake winds blowing at us. It was all still new to me, and now that I lived near the water, I never wanted to leave.
Ryan looked like a slightly rounder version of Johnny with a little less chest hair, fewer tattoos, and more gray hairs. It was hard not to see the resemblance though. They even had the same mannerisms and smile.
As I watched them, Felicia leaned back on her hands, laughing at something Ryan said, a big smile on her face.
There were some people that were more uptight and uncomfortable until you got to know them.
Ryan and Felicia were the opposite, and as I settled in, I thought maybe this wouldn’t be as nerve-wracking as I’d originally assumed.
Johnny handed me a wrap and plopped down next to me. His suit was already wet. It looked like he and Ryan had both already gotten in the water.
“Thanks,” I said. “You guys go in already?” I glanced back and forth between the brothers.
“Tradition,” Ryan said, toweling himself off. “Growing up, when we came here with our grandparents, the winner was whoever could swim out to that giant rock first. Guess who won this time?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Nope. Not fair. I didn’t know we were even doing that. You cheated with a head start.” Johnny shook his head, clearly unfazed by the lost competition.
“Doesn’t matter how you get there, just that you do.” Ryan smirked at his brother.
“Yeah, it was a big thing with all the cousins growing up,” Johnny said. “King of the rock. Bragging rights for days.”
“Not much has changed then,” I said. “Rock’s still there, brothers still being brothers.”
Being an only child, I’d always wished for a sibling to have in my corner, and their teasing brought that familiar longing rushing back.
“Guess not.” Johnny plopped down next to his niece and started digging with her. “What do you think, Kinsley? Do you think it’ll be a tradition thirty years from now for you too?”
He patted Kinsley on her head, and she giggled, looking up at him making fish faces back at her. He was a good uncle.
I felt the warmth radiate up my chest as I watched the two of them dig and play with the sand toys. Johnny would help her fill up the bucket, then she would dump it out, again and again. He didn’t seem fazed at all by her actions and gave her all the attention she wanted.
After we finished eating, Felicia looked over at the guys and her daughter, then over to me. “Want to jump in the lake? I won’t even make you race me to the rock.”
Felicia and I waded out toward the rock, and I felt the cold water rush against my body, sending shivers up my spine.
“I know it’s still so cold out here, but it also feels so good.” Felicia stretched her arms up over her head.
“Absolutely. This is what it’s all about,” I agreed, tilting my head back and letting the warm sun fall on my face.
We eventually reached the rock and just treaded water for a bit, enjoying the warmth. I was sure Felicia was enjoying her time without a baby clinging to her hip.
“You know? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him like this,” Felicia said.