22. Johnny
Johnny
It was Sunday morning, and the sun had only been up a couple hours, but I was already heading back to the marina from the water. The fresh breeze felt good, and I looked over, watching Oberon’s blonde fur blow behind him, his tongue hanging out in a dog smile.
I needed to clear my head. Fishing was one of the best ways to do that.
Everything was quiet still, and, as I was pulling in, I tried not to squint to see if Beth’s car was parked behind the rental shop.
I didn’t know why I was looking. I knew she wasn’t there.
She probably took the morning off to see her parents off, maybe have breakfast.
I’d made a mess yesterday.
I didn’t mean to, but that didn’t change anything.
I can’t believe I told her news.
I needed to fix it. I just didn’t know how.
And it felt like there was something even larger standing between us. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.
Fuck.
I shook my head. The run-in with Beth’s parents also got me thinking about my own. Frankly, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d talked with either of my parents. It had been that long. It was probably sometime before Memorial Day. Maybe?
Since everything with Anne, things had been so awkward with my parents that we continued to grow this rift between us, and I didn’t even know exactly how—other than my dad’s frustration about the divorce created a divide that hadn’t dissipated at all.
It just seemed to happen slowly. After going a couple weeks without talking, it grew to a month, then a couple months.
I didn’t even know what they were up to this summer except for what Ryan had shared with me.
And that was on me as well.
After tying up the boat, I secured my gear and covered it. There were only a few other fishermen on the docks, and I nodded at them. Keeping my eyes on the boards of the dock, Oberon following me, before heading to the parking lot.
I hopped in my truck, and when Oberon jumped in, I rubbed behind his ears.
“What do you think, huh boy?”
He just sat there, looking content, tongue hanging out of his mouth.
I knew what I needed to do though.
I grabbed my phone and dialed one of the few numbers I still knew by heart. It was picked up on the second ring, and the familiar deep voice rang through the earpiece.
“Son?”
“Hey, Dad. It’s been a while.”
After a few pleasantries, I found out that my parents were in the middle of packing up to head up north for the week. In the background, I heard my mom asking who was on the phone, with my dad almost blowing out my eardrum responding to her.
“Sorry, sounds like you’re busy. I can call back at a later time.”
“Nonsense,” my dad said, clearly still packing in the background as he walked around the house. “We’re retired. Everything moves more slowly over here, anyway. We’re in no rush.”
“Okay.”
“Lydia! I said we only need the one cooler!” my dad yelled at my mom. “Your mother. Always trying to feed the nation when it’s only a five-day trip.”
“So, where are you headed to?”
“I think this time we’ll go up Lake Michigan, maybe the dunes. Not exactly sure yet. We like to keep it exciting,” he joked, keeping the conversation lighthearted.
“I’m sure that’ll be a great trip.”
“How’s everything up by you?” He was more tentative.
“Things are good. Not sure if Ryan mentioned anything, but I’m trying to buy this cottage resort up here. Things are a little up in the air still, but I’m crossing my fingers.”
“That’s good. That’s good.”
After thirty-plus years working in the plant, my dad didn’t really get the business that I was taking on.
At least, he didn’t understand why I’d want to do it.
When I tried to explain what I was building, he questioned it.
My dad being the company man, had a hard time understanding why I would choose owning my own business over having a predictable income.
“Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve reached out.” I huffed, blowing the air out, getting the words off my chest. “Things have gotten a bit crazy around here, and… that’s on me. I shouldn’t have let it go that long.”
“I appreciate that.” He paused, and it was quiet in the background now. “It’s not all on you though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I haven’t been the best at reaching out either. You know your mother and I have our travels and things going on here.”
“Yeah, you guys keep busy.”
“But that’s not an excuse. I miss you, son.” He paused. “I know I wasn’t the greatest when everything happened with Anne.”
I nodded, resting my head on the steering wheel, feeling my eyes getting watery. My mind flashed back to those first few months with Anne.
I had talked with my dad, bringing up the text messages with her, and he told me to let it go—that marriage was working through things and that if I couldn’t handle it, I shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.
I was already drowning myself in grief having everything with Anne crashing down around me, and my dad’s sharp words cut deep.
I needed support at the time, and he hadn’t given it.
He criticized when he should have been a strong guiding presence.
But the more time that passed, I realized I was doing myself more harm than good to hold onto the resentment toward him.
Dad cleared his throat. “It wasn’t your fault, you know? I know I was hard on you. I know that now. I should have done things differently.” He paused before saying quietly, “If I could do it over… I’d do things much differently. I’m so sorry.”
My heart pulled heavy in my chest and my breathing slowed as I listened to the words I hadn’t realized I was waiting to hear.
“I never would have thought she’d be like that.
Makes no sense. That’s on her though, and I’m truly sorry that I waited this long to say this to you.
I should have stood by your side instead of second-guessing all your decisions.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, these things just don’t work out. And I should have told you that.”
He was silent for a moment, and I put the phone on mute as I cleared my throat before responding to him.
“Thanks, Dad. I needed to hear that.”
“Well, I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it. I love you, son.”
“Love you too.”
We both were silent for a moment, listening to each other breathe, and I sat in my truck, still numb but relieved as I watched the other boaters make their way to the dock.
“You know? Your mom and I wouldn’t mind coming up your way sometime. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with this new resort thing you have going.” He paused. “Ryan said you’re really doing something big up there. I’m proud of you.”
I nodded, not sure how to respond at first, then deciding on, “Thank you.”
My dad was a man of few words—probably one of the reasons why we went longer without talking sometimes, and for him to say that… it felt good.
“Well, it’s true.” He sniffed. “Hey, looks like your mom is having trouble getting the bikes down. I’m going to have to let you go, but I meant what I said about coming up there. Let us know when a good time would be. Retiree time is flexible, as you know.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Sounds like a plan.”
We hung up, and I laid my head against the headrest, running my hands over my jeans. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting him to even pick up.
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words until he said them.
A huge weight lifted off my chest.
I ran my hand through my hair and looked over at Oberon who was now laying in the seat next to me, dozing off.
Okay, let’s do this, then.
“I’m coming! Hold your horses!” Lane shouted from the back.
He had texted yesterday and told me he had an update about the funding, and that he’d meet up with me for breakfast this morning. I’d been anxious about it, and every time I’d asked over the last couple weeks, he told me to stay patient.
“You’re the one who said 7 am!”
Lane grabbed his mug, waved to the regulars that perched on the bar stools, then sat across from me.
“Dude. You’ve got to relax. It’s good news.”
“Tell me.” I grabbed my coffee, leaning in. I’d already ordered my regular breakfast sandwich, and I felt my face getting hot as my blood pressure rose.
“There is this specialty zero-interest loan from the city. I looked into it a few years ago for the restaurant, but I didn’t qualify since it wasn’t a rehab.
I hadn’t thought of it before since it was a while ago, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up because there are so many stipulations, but it sounds like it would work for you since it’s restoring an old property.
Megan just texted me yesterday about it. ”
“Wait, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying the city has money earmarked for business owners looking to rehab old properties in Port St. Clair. Your resort would qualify. It’s basically a free loan.” He leaned back, straight-faced as always.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, it’s a big deal.” He took a sip of his coffee.
“How did you even know about this?”
“Eh, long story.” He looked away, out the window. “But I brought up your issue to Megan, and she confirmed it’s a viable program still. She doesn’t handle it, but she said to reach out to her today, and she’ll get you all the documents you need.”
“Jeez, man. I can’t thank you enough. This is huge.”
“Yup.”
I felt myself coming down from my high. Between everything with my dad on Sunday morning, now this, I was riding a wave.
Relief flooded my body, and I ran my hand through my hair before leaning my head back against the wall.
I just didn’t want to come crashing down, and the more good that came my way, the more likely that was to happen.
All I needed to do now was fix things with Beth.
“Thanks, man. This is big. Glad you thought of it.” A smile plastered across my face, making me look like a loon. “So, I’ve got to ask though.”
“Yeah?”
“Since when are you bringing things up to Megan?” I raised my eyebrows and chuckled at him.
“Come on.” He glared at me.