Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Chaos paced his bedroom in agitation. He’d opened the door once to check on Kara and heard her crying in the bathroom. It affected him deeply. Because there wasn’t any-damn-thing he could do to help her.
Once, when he was around sixteen, he’d caught his mom crying, and had expressed his concern and asked what he could do to make her stop. She’d told him that sometimes girls just needed to cry. That it was their way of letting their emotions out. That it was okay to let them.
Chaos hadn’t been happy, and he’d hovered until his mom finished, then she’d opened her arms and he’d hugged her hard.
“This is what you can do when a woman is crying,” she’d told him. “Tell her it’s okay, and if it’s appropriate and she’s open to it, hugging her afterward.”
His hands itched to hold Kara. To tell her that everything was going to be all right. That she was safe. He’d held her while she cried after they’d gotten out of the floodwater, but his need to make sure she was all right hadn’t abated. In fact, it had only grown more intense.
Not able to listen to her sobs any longer, Chaos went back into the living area.
It went against everything that made him who he was to not try to “fix” what was making Kara cry.
But he couldn’t fix this. And he certainly couldn’t interrupt her shower.
All he could do was continue pacing in another room.
No, that wasn’t true. He could call Casper and brainstorm ways to keep Kara safe.
But Casper was probably making love to his woman right about now.
They had a lot to celebrate. Twin girls would keep them all on their toes, because there was no question that the entire team would want to be involved in raising those babies.
He could call Edge, but the man had been fairly high-strung lately, probably because of his ex’s recent appearance on base. What should be a safe space for the man. It was insane that the woman seemed so hell-bent on making his life miserable, even years after their divorce.
Chaos couldn’t hear Kara’s sobs out in the living area, but that almost made things worse. Was she calming down? Still upset? He was at a loss as to what to do, and that frustrated the hell out of him. He’d never felt like this.
It could’ve been ten minutes or thirty, but after a while, he heard her puttering around in his bedroom. It took everything within him not to wrench open the door and demand to know if she was all right.
Instead he was standing stock still, staring at his bedroom door, when it finally opened.
Kara’s face was flushed, her eyes a little red, but she was clean…and wearing another one of his T-shirts. She also had on a pair of his sweatpants.
He loved seeing her in his clothes.
She stopped in the doorway, looking uneasy. She gestured to the shirt. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said softly.
“Not at all. I just want you to be comfortable. Are you okay?” Chaos wanted to kick himself for that question. Of course she wasn’t okay.
“I’m better. Being clean helps a lot.”
This woman had every right to be completely withdrawn and negative about her situation, instead she was gracious and doing her best to be positive.
Chaos stepped toward her, as if drawn by an unseen force. He could no sooner stay away from her than a fish could thrive on land. When he was close, he lifted a hand—then halted it midair before he could actually touch her.
What was he doing? He didn’t have the right to touch this woman whenever he wanted. She likely wouldn’t want that anyway, after everything she’d been through. And he was essentially a stranger.
To his surprise, Kara gave him another smile and reached up to take his hand in hers. She brought it to her face, cupping it to her cheek, which was exactly what he’d planned to do before common sense kicked in.
She leaned her head into his touch and closed her eyes for a brief moment.
Everything she did blew Chaos away. Somehow, by some miracle, Nolan hadn’t crushed her spirit.
Chaos ran his thumb lightly over her warm cheek, where he imagined her tears had fallen.
Then, slowly, he moved his hand to her hair, and gently ran his palm over its length.
It was now clean and soft. It took every ounce of his control not to shove his hand in deep, tangle the blonde locks in his grip, and bring her toward him for a kiss.
They stared at each other for a beat, and Chaos wished he knew what she was thinking. He didn’t see fear in her eyes, which was a relief.
A knock at the door startled them both, making an amused huff escape her lips.
Grinning, Chaos reluctantly dropped his hand and turned to get the door. He tipped the woman delivering the pizzas and carried the boxes into the kitchen. He’d gotten two larges, a double order of cheesy bread, and of course the fried pickles Kara requested.
He had a small table next to the kitchen, but thanks to the delicious smell, he was suddenly starving and didn’t even want to wait to get plates or sit down.
Kara seemed to be on the same wavelength, because when he opened one of the boxes, she helped herself to a slice and immediately brought it to her mouth.
She closed her eyes and moaned at the first taste of the gooey concoction.
The sound made Chaos stiffen…all over.
Fuck. He needed to get a handle on his libido. Kara wasn’t there for sex. And she shouldn’t have to deal with his out-of-control hormones.
Shifting so he wasn’t facing her directly, desperately trying to hide his erection, he grabbed his own slice of pizza and took a bite.
It was as delicious as her reaction made it seem.
Maybe it was the fact that it had been a while since he’d eaten. Maybe it was the near-death experience that made him appreciate the little things in life. Or maybe it was the company.
Chaos felt completely comfortable standing in his kitchen pigging out with Kara, matching each other bite for bite. The bread and pickles were also delicious, but it was the pizza that truly hit the spot.
They both managed to eat four slices of pizza. Kara started to transfer the leftover slices to the other box to put in the fridge, but Chaos stopped her.
“Wait, I have a container for pizza.”
She looked confused. “A container for pizza?” she echoed, as he crouched and dug around in one of the lower cabinets.
Chaos smiled as he stood, holding what he’d been looking for.
It was a triangle-shaped silicone container, about four inches high, with an airtight locking lid.
It was designed to stack pizza slices on top of each other.
It saved a ton of room in the refrigerator and was one of the coolest inventions Chaos had ever seen.
“Holy crap, that’s genius!” Kara exclaimed, when he started putting the slices inside.
“Right?” he asked with a grin.
“Do I even want to know where you found that?”
“A social media ad, where else?” he told her.
“You’re on social media?”
Chaos shrugged. “I don’t doomscroll or anything, but my mom is on there, and it’s an easy way to see what she’s up to, because she posts a ton of pictures of her garden and homestead. It’s easy to stay in touch with her on there, as well.”
“Are you allowed to have accounts? I mean, I’m guessing the Army isn’t too keen on their super-pilots sharing things for the world to see.”
“I use my real name, which not a lot of people know. I post no personal pictures…hell, I barely post at all. I have a total of five friends on there, and my account is locked down. My profile picture is of a random cat I found online.”
“Oh, all right then. But how in the world did you see an ad for a leftover pizza container if you’re not on there much and never post? Isn’t that stuff all based on algorithms and stuff?”
Chaos grinned. He realized he was having a good time. The conversation was inane and had nothing to do with anything, but that’s what made it…nice. “Probably because my mom sent me an invite to an online Tupperware party as a joke. The algos took it from there.”
Kara giggled. “Yeah, that would do it. Well, however you found this, it’s awesome. I’m gonna have to…”
Her voice trailed off and she frowned, as if she just remembered she didn’t have a fridge to put leftover pizza in anymore. That she didn’t have anything.
“For a second there, I forgot,” Kara said with a sigh, confirming his thoughts.
“You’re going to get back to where you were,” Chaos told her without hesitation.
“Life is full of twists and turns and bumps. It’s how you deal with them that matters the most. And from where I’m standing, and from what little I know about you, Kara Guthrie, you’re going to be just fine.
You’ll come out on top, and people like Nolan Colins will get what’s coming to them. ”
“You think?”
“Yes. Now…I don’t know about you, but I’m stuffed. My belly hurts from all the pizza I just shoved into it.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, I might’ve overdone it. But everything was just so good!”
“I’m going to go take a quick shower. I can smell myself, and it’s not pretty.”
Kara giggled. “It’s not that bad.”
“You’re being too nice. I’ll be back.”
Chaos took a fast shower and felt much better when he was done. His belly was full and he was clean…and the woman he was beginning to care a hell of a lot about was safe. It was enough for now. He went back into the living area and sat on one end of the couch.
Kara was straightening up his kitchen, which didn’t bother Chaos in the least. He didn’t care if she looked through every cabinet, he had nothing to hide. He hoped she wasn’t feeling obligated to clean though.
“Come sit and relax, Kara,” he said from his seat on the couch.
She walked into the living area, looked at him, then around at the other seating options. He tried not to take it personally that she wasn’t immediately eager to sit next to him. But her next words assuaged some of his hurt.
“I’ve never had a beanbag. Would you mind…” She gestured to the huge gray lump in the corner of the room.