Chapter 20 Kyle
KYLE
Cami followed us up the stairs. “I need to brush my teeth to get the taste out of my mouth of whatever that drink was that Pasco made.”
“You were a good sport to even drink it,” I said. “And I’ll be right behind you after I take care of Bella.”
Cami patted the pup’s head and bid her goodnight, then she went into my bedroom while I followed Bella into hers. We went through our bedtime routine, and she closed her eyes before I even turned out the light.
I returned to my room to find Cami sitting on the bed, still dressed. “I’m just going to...” I pointed to the bathroom. “If you’re finished.”
“Be my guest.” She grinned at her own joke. She seemed happy, or at least not overwhelmed and angry with me. That was something.
When I returned a few minutes later, she’d pulled off her sandals and slid up onto the bed, propping herself against the headboard. I turned off the bathroom light behind me and stood in the doorway between the two rooms. “So, are we still keeping our distance from each other?”
“You’re a spy.”
“Our group is more of a strike team.”
“In a spy agency. And not like the CIA. Most people don’t even know HEAT exists.”
“You do. And are you okay with it?” I worried that I’d traded her mistrust for fear. Spies didn’t make for very good romantic partners if you believed what you saw in movies. Fortunately, the ones I knew in real life were fully capable of relationships.
“It takes some getting used to, but I’m working on it.” She furrowed her brow. “Kyle Rogers, you’re an idiot.”
“I’m... Yeah, I probably am. But are you referring to something specific?”
“Did you really threaten to quit your job for me? The job you love and that you’re great at, by all appearances. And what about your team? Would you really have given it all up if X had refused to let you tell me the truth?”
“Yes.”
She widened her eyes as if that surprised her.
“It’s not as dire as it sounds,” I said. “I’d still be friends with my teammates, and I’m good at many things.” I grinned. “I can even legally get paid for some of them.”
She grinned back at me, and I knew she was thawing. “Why would you even threaten such a thing, though?”
I rubbed the tension out of the back of my neck. I should have known someone at HEAT would rat me out and that Cami would want an explanation. I hoped she was ready to hear the truth.
“Because I meant it,” I answered. “Cami, maybe I’m kidding myself, but I think we have a shot at something special here. But if I couldn’t tell you about my career, we’d be over before we started.”
“You’d lose your team. Your friends.”
“Like I said, they’d still be my friends.” I longed to touch her, to hold her, to make her understand. “And I want to be on your team.”
She was quiet for a long minute. I felt like she was weighing my answer and holding my future in her hands. “No,” she finally said.
“No?”
She was turning me down, rejecting my offer. The pain that sliced through was a like a knife in my chest, actual physical pain accompanying the emotional blow. I breathed through it. I needed to hold it together. It wasn’t what I’d expected nor wanted, but I would respect her decision.
“Oh,” she said. “The look on your face... You thought I meant... Kyle I’m saying no, we’re not still keeping our distance.”
The stress and anguish drained from my body. I leaned against the doorjamb, regaining my equilibrium.
She patted the space beside her. She was inviting me onto the bed and into her life.
I jumped up beside her and pulled her into my arms before she could change her mind.