Chapter 36
Koby
“She needs space to do this,” Carter says, blocking my path as I turn on my heel again. He’s rooted by the dresser, coffee steaming in his hand, eyes tracking my every move. “Stick to the plan.”
“Fuck the plan,” I grit out, pacing the bedroom. “You haven’t seen her fall back into that blank fucking doll whenever she talks to him. She disassociates so bad the only way I can get her back is to trigger a rage fit.”
I stop, press my palm against the bathroom door and rest my forehead against it. My heart’s hammering and my jaw aches from clenching.
I’m being irrational. I fucking know. I also know Leilani’s tough. She doesn’t need me breathing down her neck or worrying like a madman while she’s literally behind the door, physically safe.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it?
She’s only physically safe. Her head’s a whole different story and that’s what has me damn near climbing the walls.
My head’s full of images I’d love to bleach out of there. Every video clip Ryder showed me. The pictures Leilani painted with every story time. Her dull eyes whenever she talked to Anton and all I could do was watch.
It’s the helplessness that gets me most. I can’t do anything.
I can’t kill the fucker.
I can’t heal her trauma.
I can’t turn back time.
And now, I can’t even keep my shit together for her sake.
She shouldn’t worry about me, but I’m a weak, needy, certifiable big baby and instead of sitting my ass down while she’s doing our dirty work, I—once again—feel like shedding my skin.
“Please...” she chokes out from the other side of the door, her voice breaking. “Please don’t let them. I... I stole a phone. They said, they—”
My throat scratches like I’ve swallowed a fistful of nails.
“Leilani,” I whisper. She won’t hear me, but I can’t just do nothing when I hear her crying, so I pretend to help her calm down. “I’m right here, hellcat.”
“I heard them,” she yelps. “They want to sell me!”
That’s not true, but it has an instant effect on me. I feel fury at the mere concept and slam my fist against the door.
She’s too distraught. Trapped somewhere between reality and that numb place Anton created inside her head. This has to end. Right now, but before I can hit it again, Carter grabs my arm.
“Not yet. She hasn’t told him where she is. I know you’re worried, but she’s right here and she’s selling it.”
“She’s not,” I snap, ripping my hand free to shove him back. “She’s falling apart. That’s enough.”
Inside, her voice rises into a wailing, petrified pitch. “Please. Please, don’t let them—”
“Leilani!”
“No!” she screams, her panic lacing right through me.
“Leilani! Open up!” I bang my fist against the door so hard the frame rattles.
“No, he lied to you,” she sobs.
I step back, bracing to shoulder the door down. Carter shifts into my path.
“Not yet,” he emphasizes, but even his voice is tight, betraying a widening crack in his composure.
Inside, it sounds like Leilani’s on the brink of a panic attack.
“They did... I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t fight them! Just help me. Take me. I’m in Pittsburgh and—” The rest of her words drown in her sobs.
“Move,” I snap at Carter. “She said it. Now move the fuck away or I’m going through you.”
He steps aside as I plant my boot and ram the door.
Once. The frame groans.
Twice. Splinters explode.
On the third impact the hinges tear free and the door flies inward, slamming against tile.
She’s under the sink, knees to her chest, phone against her ear, shaking so violently her teeth clatter. Her hair’s fallen out of the ribbon, clinging to her wet cheeks. She doesn’t even register me, eyes glazed and distant, tears streaking her chin.
I cross the floor in two strides, rip the phone from her hand, and hurl it at the wall, making Leilani flinch, but she doesn’t fight when I drop to my knees, pulling her into my lap.
“Hey, shh. It’s okay. It’s over, baby.” My mouth finds her temple, my hand cradling the back of her head. “It’s me. I’m here and he’s far away.”
“He’s coming,” she whispers, inhaling deeply. Her fingers knot in my shirt, a small, wet smile curling her lips. “It worked.”
“You did good,” Carter says, hovering in the doorway, eyes jumping between us. “We’re leaving in two hours, Koby. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
He lingers a second longer, probably waiting for my agreement, but a beat later he exhales through his nose and leaves. The door clicks shut behind him, and the silence that follows is deafening.
Leilani shivers against me, so small I could fold her into my chest and hide her from the world. I tuck her closer, fighting the urge to rock her gently. She’d surely knock my teeth out if I tried.
I wait until her breath slows before I lift her.
“I can walk.”
“So can I,” I shoot back, rising with her in my arms.
She buries her face against my neck, too tired or maybe too shaken to fight me. I carry her to the bed and lay her down, but when I pull away, she grabs my wrist.
“I’m not going anywhere, hellcat.” I toe off my boots and wind myself around her.
She tilts her head up. “You can relax. I’m okay.”
“You’re shaking.”
“Part of the act. I’m okay,” she repeats, pressing her hand right above my hammering heart. “You can’t keep acting like I’ll break the second you blink. I’ve survived worse than what’s coming. It’s almost over, Koby. When we wake up tomorrow, Anton and Octavius will be gone and I’ll be free.”
“Free...” I taste the word, my heart swelling and shrinking at the same time. Clearing my throat, I close my eyes and ask the one question that’s been keeping me awake late into the night for days. “Will you stay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Once you’re free.” I swallow whatever the fuck is stuck behind my Adam’s apple. “Will you stay with me?”
I feel her shift beside me.
“Look at me.”
Should I? If she says no I’d rather she didn’t see how much it tears me apart. I shake my head.
She huffs and her small fingers pry my left eye open.
“Ouch! What the fuck, hellcat?”
“I said, look at me.”
Her pretty face hangs over mine, those dark eyes jumping between mine, down to my lips, and back. “You’re worried I’ll leave you? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You’re not answering my question,” I grit out, growing hot in the face. “And you’re making this extremely awkward for me.”
She chuckles, kissing my head. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”
Everything that’s been knotted so tight inside my stomach and throat for days suddenly lets loose. I grab her waist and pin her to the mattress, climbing over her.
I cradle her face, my thumbs brushing damp remnants from her cheeks. I drink her in. Every tiny freckle, every eyelash, every stubborn glint still alive in her eyes.
Dipping my head, I kiss the tip of her nose. My chest feels too tight, too full, like my ribs can’t contain the feelings that’ve been growing there since day one.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you so much, hellcat. I never thought I’d want to settle down and change my life so profoundly until I saw you... and now I want you forever. I don’t care what it takes. I’ll do anything if it means I can keep you safe and happy.”
Her breath stutters. For a second, I think she’ll look away, pretending not to hear, but she doesn’t. She lifts one hand, ghosting her fingers along my jawline.
“Say it again.”
I press my forehead to hers, breathing her in. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Koby... and tomorrow, when it’s all over, we’ll plan our forever.”
I kiss her hard, desperate, like I can seal those words and that promise if I just hold on tight enough.