Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Four Months Later
Isaac stood at the gate, the buzz of laughter and conversation reaching his ears. He hadn’t known if he was going to turn up at Cassandra’s after she’d mentioned what was happening that weekend in the weekly emails she’d sent him.
No doubt Cassandra knew he’d arrived back in California.
It hadn’t surprised him that Cass would discover his location and keep him informed about the lives he’d touched and saved.
From that first contact, a month after he’d arrived in Alaska, she’d kept the link that had been forged between them since she was a little girl, alive.
Their roles had now been reversed—she’d been watching over him, like he’d watched over her for most of her life.
How would his presence be received?
Would the men and women of Alliez Security be happy to see him, or would they want nothing to do with him?
Had they known she’d kept contact with him?
Isaac believed that they did. Cass wasn’t the type to keep things to herself.
His last contact with Alliez, when the shit had hit the fan, had been semi-positive.
They’d all gotten out of there, a little battered, but still alive, and that was all that mattered.
Now he was back, and he didn’t know his place.
His mind was still drifting to San Carlion, the small town in Guatemala where, for a brief few hours, he’d experienced a sense of meaning and belonging.
Something he hadn’t felt for a long time, and it meant more than it should.
He’d left a couple of days after his encounter with Marie.
He’d been feeling like he was being watched, and the last time he’d ignored that feeling, he’d almost lost his life in the wilds of Alaska.
It was how he’d ended up in San Carlion.
He wasn’t taking the chance that that could happen another time.
There was also the added presence of Alfredo Vargas. The man may have not recognized Isaac from his time with the Ramirez Cartel, but if he’d stayed, there'd have been a chance that his identity could’ve been uncovered.
It was a risk he couldn’t take. So even though he’d wanted to stay, he hadn’t.
He'd spent the last few months eking out an existence in one town after another in South America while waiting for the final word that it was safe for him to return to the States.
And here he was, still as adrift as he’d been four months ago. Wanting someone who didn’t want him.
Why hadn’t time apart pushed her out of his mind?
He didn’t understand why her goodbye had affected him so much.
Why it had seemed so final. Hope had sparkled to life with his encounter with the hard-working doctor.
But also hope was dangerous. It gave him the belief that he deserved good things when, after everything he’d done during his time as part of the cartel, he deserved nothing but bad things.
“Are you going to stand out here all afternoon or are you going to come in?”
Isaac turned around and his gaze connected with the bright green one of Dylan “Irish” O’Reilly. Cass’s husband and the man who’d almost lost his life at the hands of Cass’s uncle, Isaac’s former cartel boss. “Still debating that,” he returned.
Irish nodded as if he understood Isaac’s dilemma. “You know Cass will be happy to see you.”
“I know. I also owe her a big thanks for what she did for the people of San Carlion. I can’t believe how much she was able to achieve in such a short time.
” Although he shouldn’t have been surprised.
Cass had connections and the ability to make people bend to her will with a few well-crafted sentences.
“My wife is nothing but amazing,” Irish said, his chest puffing out in pride. “But you know she’s not going to want or need your thanks. She did it because she doesn’t like to see anyone suffering.”
“I know.”
Irish turned serious. “No one blames you for what you had to do. Hell, some of those women in my backyard wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you and the information you gave us.”
“I know that, too.” And he did. Before he’d disappeared to the wilds of Alaska and the jungles of Guatemala, he’d had many visitors in his hospital room after he woke from his coma. Most of them being the people congregating at Irish and Cass’s house.
“Take the time you need. But don’t leave, okay?”
Isaac sighed. The first step was always the hardest, and he wanted to start living his life now that he was no longer on anyone’s radar, at least that’s what the powers that be in the DEA assured him was true.
Of course, Alfredo Vargas had seen him, but if he saw Isaac now he wouldn’t recognize him. Gone was the scraggly beard and unkempt hair. Like all the other personas he’d shed, losing Samuel Rodrigo wasn’t too much of a hardship.
Now he had the chance to be himself. Find his place back in society. What he was going to do, he didn’t know, but he’d find something.
He was aware that Irish hadn’t returned to his backyard, it was as though he knew that Isaac had made his decision but needed a few more seconds to convince himself it was the right thing to do. “Please tell me you don’t have any Mexican beers.”
Irish laughed. “Nah, we’ve got none of those. Got some good Guiness if you want one.”
“We’ll see,” he smirked, and Irish’s laughter got louder. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
A couple of hours later, Isaac sat on the chair he’d pulled to a corner of the garden. It was good to be around everyone, but it was noisy. Not to mention, he’d spent so much of the last year by himself that being amongst a large, boisterous group was going to take some time to get used to.
“Mind if I join you?” Kyle “Ox” Matthews asked, chair in hand.
“Sure.” He wasn’t surprised Ox had come up to him, he’d been aware he’d been watching him. “I expected you to come chat earlier.”
That got a chuckle out of Ox. “Letting you settle in, man. It’s been a while.”
Isaac took a sip from his lemonade. He’d had one Guiness, but had spent the rest of the time drinking the sweet, but sour, beverage. “Lots of changes since I’ve been gone.”
Ox’s and Angel’s children were now toddling around. The last time he’d seen them they’d been babies. Growler and Astrid had twins. So far the other guys on the team were still single, apart from Julian who was now with Lilith.
“Tell me about it. Never would’ve picked this for me,” he murmured as Ox’s gaze tracked to where his wife stood talking and laughing with Lilith. The love shining out of his eyes hit Isaac in the solar plexus. He’d long since believed that he wouldn’t have what Ox and Eveline had found.
Maybe if you’d stuck around something might have happened with Marie.
Isaac firmly ignored his conscience. Marie met Samuel, she didn’t meet Isaac Warner.
“It’s good to see,” Isaac said after a few more beats of silence.
Ox directed his attention back to him, and Isaac waited for what he was going to say next. “What are your plans now you’re back? I take it going back to the DEA is out?”
The last place Isaac would return to was the DEA. He’d gotten out without any thanks for the way his life had been turned upside down. All part of the job, he’d been told on numerous occasions. One he’d accepted knowing that anything he did, while appreciated, wouldn’t be exalted or anything.
“You’re right, I’m done with the DEA. I’m not sure what I’ll do.”
Leaning forward, Ox rested his forearms on his thighs. A casual looking gesture, but Isaac knew it was anything but that. “We could use you.”
Ox never said anything just for the sake of saying something. He always had purpose. “You want me to work for Alliez Security?”
“Yes. You know how to melt into a crowd. How to be seen, but also not seen. Not only that, your experience with how the darker side of society works will be helpful.”
The last thing Isaac wanted was to be reminded of his knowledge, but Ox was right.
He’d seen and had been involved in some of the shitty things in life.
“What use would I really be? It’s not like I can reach out to the contacts I had.
Javier Cortez is dead. Not to mention, word is he betrayed Gomez Ramirez causing the cartel to collapse.
No one would want to be associated with him if they wanted to live. ”
“And another cartel was created in its place. You know how that world works. One is taken down and another three appear. Besides, we’ve heard buzz that things are ramping up again in terms of drug and sex trafficking. There are a couple of new players on the block.”
Isaac got up and paced around the small corner of the garden.
Coming to this party was a bad idea. He liked everyone, but he didn’t want to be sucked back into a world where he lost the essence of who he was.
He wanted to try and find out who he was as a man now.
Who he could be. He wasn’t sure he could do that if he became a part of Alliez Security.
“I don’t think that’s a good thing for me. ”
Ox stood as well. “I get it. You don’t want to be dragged back to a world you’ve spent the last, however long, hiding from while what you did settled down. But you have to remember what you did while there. You did good stuff, Isaac.”
“And a fuck load of bad shit,” he countered.
“Yes, but you did that so you could survive. We’ve all done shit we didn’t want to do to survive.
We all have our demons and ghosts that sit on our shoulders reminding us of what we’ve done.
But they also remind us of the good we did.
How doing that one bad thing turned out to be something good for others. ”
What sort of bullshit was Ox saying?
He killed people in cold blood because they hadn’t done what Gomez Ramirez had wanted. Men who were fathers. Sons. Brothers.
“You can’t say what you and I did are the same. They’re completely different things, Ox. Different situations. I should be locked up; didn’t matter what I did. It was all part of my assignment. The things I did…” Isaac paused and shook his head, as if that would dislodge all the memories.
“You did what you had to do to survive. To ensure your cover wasn’t blown.
You did your job, just like me and all the others here.
” He waved his hand toward the men congregating a few feet away, all former special forces men who still did jobs that required them to get in and out without being seen.
“Yeah, but you didn’t almost get one of those guys and his team killed.” That particular event still stuck in Isaac’s craw. Deliberately sabotaging a Navy SEAL team felt like treason to him.
“And it’s in the past,” Ox reminded him softly. “We could use you, Isaac. Think about it okay?”
Isaac nodded, even though he knew what the answer was going to be.
“I mean seriously think about it. Don’t just give me a perfunctory nod and expect me to believe that’s what you’re going to do. Insights on people’s behavior is invaluable.”
“Fine. I’ll give it some thought, I promise.”
“That’s all I ask. Come up to the office any time, you know where it is.” Ox walked away leaving Isaac with a lot to think about.