Chapter 15
Zoya~
I was sitting on the edge of the bed as Kasimir was in the shower, and all I could think about was how he had answered my question about Marcelle so honestly and easily.
He was more than willing to kill for me, and while that was romantic in its own twisted way, I still felt conflicted on how I wanted her to die, because I did want her dead.
I wanted her stripped of the life that she had robbed my mother, and I didn’t feel bad about that.
At all.
I was also very aware that my soul was crossing a line that it couldn’t uncross, but I didn’t know how else to get past the horror that had touched my life.
If I didn’t avenge my mother, then the guilt of my choices was going to slowly kill me until there was nothing left.
If I had any chance at overcoming all of my mistakes, then I needed to do more than just cry and sleep.
I needed to do more than just let my misery drown in despair.
When Kasimir finally came out of the shower, he had only a towel wrapped around his waist, and I couldn’t stop the heat that slithered down my spine, making my toes curl.
While a lot of women were attracted to muscles, not really caring about facial features, Kasimir was the entire package.
Both his face and body were stunning, and I could see why women chose to conveniently forget that he was a ruthless killer in favor of one night with him.
After all, I’d done the same.
“Lepestok, if you keep looking at me like that, I might have to go sleep in my office,” he smirked, little droplets of water falling from his dark hair, sprinkling his broad shoulders.
“I don’t want you to go sleep in your office,” I said, my voice huskier than usual, my need obvious.
Kasimir remained standing near the bathroom door, eyeing me carefully. “Zoya, you’re injured.”
“I’m better,” I quickly pointed out.
“Baby, you’re not,” he argued. “You might not be scraped up and bruised anymore, but your fingers are still broken, your ribs still hurt, and that bullet would still needs to heal fully.”
I stood up from the bed, needing him. “Why can’t you just avoid all that? You did it last night.”
“Zoya-”
“Why can’t you go slow?” I asked, not caring how desperate I sounded. “Why can’t you kiss me softly? Why can’t you touch me tenderly? Why can’t you give me what I want and still be mindful?”
“Because my need for you isn’t something that quietly builds, Zoya,” he answered. “I always want you in a way that I can’t get enough of.”
“But you did it last night,” I reminded him.
“I ate your pussy,” he countered. “I didn’t have my dick anywhere near you.”
Refusing to feel guilty for manipulating him, I said, “I need you, Kasimir.”
“Baby-”
“I need to feel you,” I went on, interrupting his protests. “After today, I need to get out of my head, and there’s only one way that’s going to happen.”
“I don’t want to accidently hurt you,” he said, his jaw tight, wrestling between doing the right thing and giving in for both our sakes.
“You won’t,” I assured him. “If you let me lead, you won’t.”
Kasimir let out a deep sigh. “What does that mean?”
“If you keep your hands on my hips as I ride you, then you’ll be nowhere near my injuries,” I pointed out. “If you can just lay there and let me take what I need, then I won’t get hurt.”
He didn’t say anything for the longest minute of my life, but when he finally started walking my way, hope bloomed in my chest. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine that I’d be craving Kasimir Korolev, yet here we were.
Looking down at me, he said, “You’re killing me, lepestok.”
“I just need a few hours where I don’t have to think, Kasimir,” I said, baring my soul, admitting how troubled I was. “Just a few hours where there are no decisions to be made and no nightmares to endure. That’s all I want.”
“It’s a crazy thing to be in love with someone,” he stated quietly, his left hand coming up to play with the strands of my hair. “You are a weakness that I had never imagined possible.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, my voice cracking with how he spoke of love so easily.
“Because I never imagined that I’d be marrying a woman for love,” he answered frankly.
“You...you didn’t?”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I always pictured an arrangement of sorts. So, it keeps hitting me as something anew whenever I find myself struggling to disappoint you.”
Instead of giving me a chance to say anything to that, Kasimir leaned down, then kissed me softly and tenderly, something that was probably new to him. He was kissing me like I had asked, taking his time and giving me what I needed right now.
I also felt no shame or regret as I kissed him back, my hands reaching for the towel that was in my way, and when I took his thickness into my hand, Kasimir let out a deep groan, empowering me with the sounds of his pleasure.
Wanting it all, I quickly broke off the kiss, then dropped to my knees before Kasimir could object. My ribs ached a bit, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from enjoying this. I had begged this man to help make me forget reality for a little while, and I wanted to repay him for giving in.
“Zoya, baby-fuck,” he hissed as I took him into my mouth, putting a stop to any of his objections.
With my hand wrapped around the base of Kasimir’s dick, I did my best to take him to the back of my throat, my jaw opened as far as possible, his thickness brushing across my lips, his hips moving eagerly.
For all that he wanted to be gentle, when he slid his hands into my hair, I could feel his fingers tighten around the loose strands, his fists holding on as he worked his dick in and out of my mouth.
“Christ, baby,” he groaned. “That feels so fucking good. You feel so good sucking that cock like the little slut that you are.”
Since there was no arguing the fact that I had practically begged for this, I didn’t object to whatever names Kasimir wanted to call me right now.
Besides, I was swallowing him like I couldn’t get enough, so the filthy words flying out of his mouth were appropriate for this situation.
I was ignoring all of my injuries just to have this man put his hands on me, so Kasimir was free to do and say whatever he wanted to me.
“Suck that dick, baby,” he grunted as the head of his cock hit the back of my throat. “Show me how badly you want me cumming down your throat.”
Tears started to stream down my cheeks as I gagged on the head of his dick, but I wasn’t about to stop him. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be used, and I wanted to be used in a way that would make me forget everything going on around me.
“Fuck, Zoya...I’m going to cum,” he warned me after a while. “I’m going to cum, and you’re going to swallow every last drop, aren’t you?”
Since I couldn’t speak, I just moaned around his girth, encouraging him to weaken for me, because this was the only time that Kasimir could be considered weakened.
When we were like this, it was the only time when he could ever be considered vulnerable, and that made me feel powerful, even if I was the one who was on their knees.
I felt Kasimir’s hands tighten in my hair as he gave one final push of his hips, my eyes trying to blink away the tears as hot cum flooded my entire mouth, his taste now as familiar as my own name.
Everything about Kasimir was an already too familiar comfort that I was beginning to need more than was wise.
Nevertheless, I had no plans to leave now.
When I finally pulled back to look up at him, Kasimir was staring down at me like he always did; as if he just couldn’t get enough of me. Of course, even with me on my feet, Kasimir still looked at me like that, and that was something that I was going to have to get used to eventually.
“Stand up, lepestok,” he ordered, and I wasted no time obeying him.
Once I was on my feet, Kasimir went to removing my clothing, and the silence was filled with the anticipation of need.
No one could accuse Kasimir of not being patient through all of this, so my guess was that I wasn’t the only one in this room who wanted to get lost in all that we could do to each other.
As soon as I was just as naked as Kasimir, he took my face in his hands, then leaned down to kiss me, and before this man, I’d never known that a person could say so much with just a simple kiss. Of course, there was nothing simple about the way that he kissed me, but still.
When he pulled away, those crazy eyes looked down at me as he said, “I hope you never forget just how much I fucking love you.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I let out a shaky breath, thankful that he wasn’t pushing me to say the words back. He said them freely and with no obligation, and that’s exactly what I needed right now. I needed no additional pressure in my life, and Kasimir understood that.
He understood that I just needed room to breathe.