Chapter Seven
Maggie
With bags under his eyes and a fidgety energy in his step, it was clear he was worse for the wear.
“I showed up at the house and she wouldn’t let me in,” his voice was agonized as he wrung his hands over and over again.
“You what?” I asked, frowning at his words. “We already talked about that. You cannot show up before the emergency visitation comes through.”
“I can’t wait any longer!” he bellowed. “They’re my kids! They need their father.”
“I understand, I do—”
“I’m sure you do.” He nodded. “And I understand your legality standpoints, but them? They don’t understand why their dad wasn’t at their birthday last week.
Or why I’m not tucking them into bed every night anymore.
My little one, he starts t-ball next week.
Am I supposed to miss that? His first practice? First game? I can’t. I won’t.”
“She could use it against you,” I said quietly, not knowing how to advise this man against the very thing his instincts were screaming at him to do.
“I don’t care if she sues me for everything I have,” he said in a burst of exasperation. “She can take it all. As long as I get to see them.”
I watched him, letting him have a moment with his thoughts. I couldn’t say anything to make it better for him. I could only do. And I swore to him—and to myself—that I was going to do everything in my power to help this man put his family back together.
One way or the other.
“I haven’t done anything to deserve this,” he muttered into his hands after a minute.
“I know you haven’t,” I told him. “And I want you to know I am doing everything I possibly can, because I’m fighting on your side. Children deserve to grow up with their father.”
He looked up at me wearily, but underneath the exhaustion and the despair, there was a flicker of something else. A speck of something that would serve to propel me forward. To work this case until it came to the conclusion I needed it to.
Hope.
Sometimes, it was hard to stop working.
Controversial statement, I know. Most people couldn’t wait to clock out at the end of the day and go home to spend a leisurely night binge-watching some obscure reality TV show that probably rotted their brains.
But me? I physically had to be dragged away from my desk at times. It was hard to stop when the work never seemed to end. There was always a task to do, something I could be working on.
And what made it worse was that the longer I put something off, the longer a custody battle could go on for. It forced me to put time into perspective.
Mine was worth so little in the grand scheme of things. What did I really have to do that was more important than reuniting families?
Hang out with my own? It hurt to do that when I was thinking about the cases I was working on. Go on a date with my boyfriend? I would see him when I went to bed at the end of the day.
My clients needed me, and I wasn’t going to be the one to delay an already excruciatingly long process.
But—a promise is a promise, and that meant a great deal to a toddler.
Which is why, as I solemnly swore, I picked Lily up promptly at ten a.m. on Saturday morning and brought her to her favorite
playground.
It wasn’t so bad, really. Lily was an easy kid. Especially when she was with her Aunt Maggie.
Maybe it was because I gave her all the stuff I knew Cassie and Liam were depriving her of, because honestly, how else would I live up to my reputation as the cool, laid-back aunt I strove to be?
I grinned down at her chocolate-streaked face, proud to be the enabler of such joy.
Liam and Cassie thought they were treating her when they gave her whatever organic, clean-ingredient, fruit-based dessert they’d picked up from God knows where, but I knew that the real joy came in the form of Dunkin Donuts chocolate-sprinkled donuts.
Hey, it’s what we were raised on, and we turned out just fine.
“You know,” I said, “you’re very lucky that you have me as your aunt, Lil. Not only do I give you the good snacks, but I’m also basically the reason you’re here right now.”
She looked at the playground, as if that’s what I was referring to. That too, but I meant more in terms of her existence.
“Why?”
“Well, your mommy and daddy didn’t know each other until I introduced them.”
She shot me a side-eye as she took another bite of her donut. Her hands were covered with glaze that I knew I’d have to scrub off before I dropped her back off at home.
“How you know Daddy?”
“Your daddy is my brother,” I told her.
“Why?” she asked.
Her question made me pause.
“Um,” I said, thinking. “Because me and your daddy have the same mommy.”
“Why?” she asked again.
“I don’t really know how to answer that, Lil.” I laughed at my niece’s round, chocolate-covered face.
Yeah, I definitely needed to give her a good wipe-down before returning her to her parents.
“I don’t have a brother,” she remarked thoughtfully after a while.
I snorted, knowing that with the way Liam and Cassie were all over each other, Lily’s status as an only child was most definitely temporary.
“You probably will soon,” I told her, and she beamed.
“Then he can play dolls with me.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But sometimes brothers aren’t as accommodating as we hope they’ll be.”
“What is acco-acco-accum-a-dating?”
“It means sometimes they’ll say, ‘tough luck, kid,’ and make you play on your own anyway.”
Lily didn’t like that answer, but I figured it was better to break the news to her early.
“Maybe I want a sister then,” she said, with a look of disappointment.
“Smart girl,” I nodded in agreement.
But until then, she had her Aunt Maggie to play with. And really, it wasn’t so bad a thing to leave work for at all.
“Mommy! Daddy!” Lily yelled, running full speed ahead of me into the kitchen toward Liam’s legs. “Aunt Maggie says I get brother soon!”
Jeez.
I watched in real time as Liam froze, turned to Cassie with exuberant bewilderment on his face, and beamed up at her. “Cass?”
“No!” She shook her head, blushing furiously before staring at me in accusation. “Maggie!”
“I was joking!” I held my hands up in defense.
Liam’s face fell.
“Weird joke to tell a three-year-old,” he muttered, shooting daggers at me.
“Hey,” Lily pouted, holding up multiple fingers. “I three and a half.”
“That’s right, baby,” Cassie cooed, picking her up, “you are. And you need a bath, don’t you?”
“Nooooo,” Lily pouted.
“Yessssss,” Cassie countered, kissing her cheek. “Say thank you to Aunt Maggie.”
She did, waving goodbye as Cassie carried her out of the room, leaving me alone with my brother.
The truth was, I missed him.
I loved that he had a new family with my best friend and niece, I really did. But sometimes it was hard not to feel like I was being left behind. Replaced.
It was normal, of course. He had somehow pieced together a new family of his very own—he had a wife and daughter. I had a Brody and a job. We both had bigger priorities now.
But sometimes, I missed the way it was. When we were a unit. It was the two of us growing up against the world. Now, he had moved on, leaving me behind with nothing to do but contemplate the past.
I didn’t think I could take it anymore.
“I want you to come to dinner with me.” The words spilled out of my mouth as I formulated the idea in my head. “This week.”
Liam thought about it, and I hated that. That I needed to be considered.
“I have games throughout the week,” he said, already planning his excuse for why he couldn’t come.
“There are a few nights you’ll be free,” I said, irritation rising.
“You know, I like to spend those nights with my family,” he said, scratching his head awkwardly.
“I’m your family, too.” I hated that I had to point it out to him.
And it broke something in me when it was met with silence. I fought the urge to turn away from him as if I’d been hit.
After a moment, he softened, rolling his eyes in a teasing manner.
“Of course you are, Mags. You know what I meant.”
I stared at him blankly, willing him to continue.
“It’s just—I lose so many nights with the girls because of hockey.”
“It’s one damn night, Liam.” I scoffed. “You can’t seriously tell me you won’t give up one of your nights for me.”
He exhaled deeply, shaking his head.
“You’re right,” he said apologetically. “I’m sorry. Of course we can go to dinner.”
But his words didn’t make me feel any better. I hated that it had to be coerced. I hated that I could never have what came so naturally to everyone else in the world.
A family who wanted to spend time with them.
A family who valued them as someone important in their life.
Brody had that. My coworkers had it. Cassie had to work like hell to get it, but now she had it with my brother.
I was the spare. Left out. I didn’t have anyone. Not really.
“Mags,” he said, tilting his head to stare at me from across the kitchen island. “Just tell me where to go and I’ll be there. Okay?”
“Okay.” I nodded.
But his confirmation didn’t do anything to dull the hollowness I felt.