Chapter Eleven
Maggie
Iwas jittery, as if I’d just downed three Red Bulls in consecutive order. A feat I’d only done a handful of times in my career—and only for very important cases.
But tonight? The energy thrumming through me had nothing to do with caffeine. Only the nerves of the scene I’d set up and what it would mean for the future of my family.
Liam got there first.
I didn’t know if that was preferable. But I didn’t have time to mentally debate it because he was already sliding down into the chair across from me, side-eyeing the chair to the right of me.
“Is Brody coming?” he asked.
“No,” I started, voice feeling caught in my throat.
I didn’t know what I was doing. It was possible I was in over my head, but I knew I had to try or I would regret it forever.
I needed a backup plan—the way everyone else had.
People had their relationships of their choosing—boyfriends, best friends, spouses… but you couldn’t really rely on them. Not the way you could family.
I knew Brody loved me. I did.
But there was always the possibility something could go wrong. A crack could appear that he might not feel like patching up. If that were the case, he would have his entire family to turn to. He’d never be really alone.
But me?
My family was scattered. Broken.
I couldn’t stand the idea of it. Not if I knew I had the chance to repair it.
We were adults now. We could do it. Put aside the past and move forward together. Right?
“Weird spot for dinner, Mags.” Liam arched a brow, looking around the dimly lit restaurant. “I figured we’d just get pizza or something.”
I scrunched the napkin in my lap, feeling like my heart was pounding out of my chest.
“Liam, I have to tell you something—” I started, but my words evaporated into the air at the sound of Liam sucking in a sharp breath.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Liam glared in the direction of the door.
I turned, following his gaze to watch as our father walked in, handing his coat to the doorman.
“I invited him.” I looked Liam dead in the eye.
I couldn’t back down now.
“What the f—”
“And before you say anything, or storm out, I want you to try. For me. Give him a chance.”
Liam’s eyes radiated hatred. Rage. And even though I knew it was directed more toward our father than me, I still shifted uncomfortably under the weight of it.
“How many times have I told you—” he said, standing from his seat, nearly sending the chair toppling behind him.
“Liam,” I said through gritted teeth. “Sit down.”
Our father arrived at the table, staring at Liam with an awestruck look on his face, as if he were in the presence of some celebrity rather than his own son.
“Liam,” he breathed.
Liam responded with a clenched jaw, sitting down in an almost slow-motion movement.
He didn’t say anything at all, just kept his eyes on our father like he were a threat that might need to be dealt with at any moment.
“Dad,” I said, shifting the energy away from Liam and his death glare. “So glad you could make it.”
Sometimes I felt like I talked to him as if he were a supervisor. A boss of some kind. I shook that energy off.
He was just my dad. I didn’t need to be this stressed about dinner with him.
It took him a minute before he tore his gaze away from Liam and turned to me.
“Margaret,” he nodded simply, before sitting down.
Liam scoffed, and our father’s energy was once again directed at him, body angled toward him in anticipation.
“Thanks for coming, son,” he said wearily. “It—it means a lot to me.”
“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Liam shook his head, a look of disgust clouding his features.
Dad looked taken aback, turning to me with a curious look.
Didn’t he know I did this for him? I gave him what he’d been asking for for years—to see Liam. To have a chance to explain things to him.
“Regardless,” Dad shook his head clear of any thoughts, “I’m so happy to see you.”
“Can’t say the same on my end.” Liam bristled.
The waitress came over at that opportune moment, starting her spiel about drink orders, before her head whipped back to look at Liam.
“Oh my gosh, are you—” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you Liam Brynn?”
Dad beamed.
“He sure is.”
Liam shot him a sideways glare and I sank lower into my chair.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Liam was supposed to let his defenses down a bit. He was supposed to be open to conversation. For me.
The waitress, sensing the hostility running rampant at our table, assured us she’d be back with waters and bread, then scurried off as far as possible.
Hell, I was thinking of going in the back to offer help washing dishes, if only to get away from the suffocating resentment pouring off Liam.
I got him here. That was as far as the plan went in my head. I figured the rest would work itself out. Like dominoes falling in line and whatnot.
I should’ve known my brother would have the willpower of steel when it came to being oppositional.
“Son, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for so long—”
“Don’t call me that,” Liam spat.
“For God’s sake, Liam,” I interjected, “give it a rest. He’s just trying to have a conversation with you.”
“And I already made it clear, I don’t want to have a conversation with him.” Liam scowled at me. “I mean, really Maggie, what the hell were you thinking?”
“He wants to explain.” I pleaded.
“Fine.” Liam said, turning to face our father with full attention. “Explain. Tell me why you did it. No—tell me how you did it without remorse. Or guilt. Or giving a single damn about us until fifteen years passed by and you, what—woke up and remembered we existed in the world?”
“It was complicated, Liam.” Dad said firmly. “Your mother is a difficult woman. She was going to make the whole process impossible. I needed a clean break.”
“A clean break from your children?” Liam countered, furious.
“It doesn’t mean I didn’t love you. Relationships are complicated.”
“Life is complicated. You stick it out because that’s just life. You don’t get to quit halfway through.”
“I was still young. I had an opportunity to make something of myself. I wouldn’t have been able to do that if your mother dragged me to court, putting me through the ringer with custody battles. You two have no idea how ugly those can get.”
I froze. He knew that’s what I did for a living, didn’t he? I brought it up every time I saw him. Hadn’t he paid attention?
“Real nice guy, isn’t he, Mags?” Liam turned to me with a bitter shake of his head.
“What?” Dad said, completely lost. “Son, listen—you have no idea what it’s like until you get into the situation for yourself—”
“I will never get in that situation,” Liam said furiously.
“You’re young,” Dad continued as if Liam hadn’t spoken. “You have an amazing career. If your wife tried to tie you down with child support payments and the threat of facing years in courtrooms, you might start to understand a little more what I was trying to get away from.”
Liam shook his head, furious at the words pouring out of his mouth.
I had to agree with Liam. I knew the point Dad was trying to make, but he was going about it entirely the wrong way—especially where Liam was concerned.
“If you chose to just walk away from it all, it wouldn’t mean you didn’t love Lily—”
“How the hell do you know about Lily?” Liam’s voice thundered.
“Maggie’s mentioned her over the years,” Dad shifted in his seat, before Liam shot a glare in my direction.
Jesus Christ. If looks could kill, I’d be dead where I sat.
“Liam,” I said pleadingly, but he was already standing up from his seat. “Don’t make a scene.”
“I’m not making a scene.” Liam said. “I’m just done.”
“Liam,” I called, standing to my feet to chase after him.
Liam and his damned long legs were already out the door by the time I caught up with him. Rain drizzled down on us, sending a chill through me.
January nights in Boston were frigid, but Liam looked like he was burning from within. I was sure that if I got close enough I would feel it radiating off him in scorching waves.
“Liam,” I pleaded desperately. “Please, wait!”
“You don’t get to keep doing this, Maggie!” He spun to face me, radiating fury. “I’m a person.”
“I know that,” I said, scrambling for some defense, while the sinking realization crept in that I might be entirely in the wrong.
God, what had I done?
“People don’t just exist for your amusement, Maggie!” he yelled, loud enough to draw attention. “I’m not a puppet. I’m not here to revolve around your own soap opera plot line.”
I whirled back, feeling the sting of his words like a slap to the face. But he wasn’t done.
“I told you how I felt,” he said. “I told you a million times. And you just didn’t care, because it didn’t fit into the plan you wanted for yourself.”
I hadn’t meant to hurt him. I really hadn’t. I thought it would make things better. I thought enough time had passed. I thought this was what he wanted but was too scared to say himself.
I thought I knew best—and it bit me in the ass.
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I whispered meekly, tears stinging my eyes. “I just thought you would regret it. Regret not giving him another chance. Now that you’re a dad, I thought you’d realize how much it hurts when your kid cuts you out of their life.”
“Becoming a dad has made me realize he never was one.” Liam retorted. “He made his own choices in life. And I get to make mine to hold him to them.”
“You’re just bitter,” I said. “Someone screws you over once and you write them off forever. It’s not healthy.”
He grabbed his face in his hands, eyes clenching shut as if he couldn’t believe what I was saying.
A part of me wanted to apologize, to take it all back. He was right that he got to make his own choices, even if I didn’t think they were the right ones.
But admitting I was wrong had never been easy for me. It was easier to dig my feet in and die on the hill of my choosing than apologize and face rejection anyway.
I looked to Liam, praying that he would relent first. That he would tell me he forgave me and we could leave this whole mess in the past, never to be brought up again.
But he didn’t.
“I can’t keep doing this, Maggie.” He shook his head sadly. “I can’t. I get emotional whiplash from all these grand ideas you force me and everyone else into.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m done. I don’t want to be involved anymore. I can’t take it.”
And then he started to walk away, rain beginning to pour down from the sky as he got farther down the sidewalk.
“So, what?” I yelled shrilly, as the rain plastered my hair against my forehead. “Are you going to cut me out now, too?”
He paused, only turning halfway as he dealt the deathblow to our relationship.
“I love you, Mags,” he said, “but you need to learn how to figure your shit out without dragging me into it.”
And then he was gone.