Chapter Thirty-Nine
Brody
“Can you keep a secret?” I asked Liam early the next morning, watching as his hands worked to brew a pot of coffee.
It was a rare moment of calm before the rest of the house woke up and might be the only chance I got to talk to him without listening ears.
“Can I?” Liam asked, his back still turned to me as he moved through the kitchen. “Or do I want to? Because those are two different answers.”
“Actually, I think they’re the same,” I grumbled, sitting at the counter.
He turned with a glare. “You think I can’t keep a secret?”
“Not anymore,” I agreed. “You tell Cassie everything.”
“Cassie doesn’t count,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Because wives are excluded from vows of secrecy. It’s just a given that you share everything with them.”
“Even if your best friend asks you not to?”
Liam paused, granting me his full attention.
“Just tell me what the deal is, Brody.”
“I’m thinking about moving.”
“Okay—” he said in confusion.
“Back to Michigan,” I clarified.
“Oh.” He said, eyes widening. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Because of Maggie?” he asked, backing up until he was leaning against the sink.
I shrugged. “I just… don’t know what else I’d be here for. I only have a couple good years left in me for hockey, and then what?”
“Have you talked to Maggie about this?” he asked, seemingly skeptical about the entire idea.
“I don’t see why I would,” I said dejectedly. “My life plans don’t really concern her anymore, do they?”
Liam stared, lips tight in the way I knew meant he was holding something back.
“You don’t think it’s a good idea?” I asked him, because at the end of the day, I really did value his opinion—more than almost anyone’s.
Or maybe I was just looking for someone to tell me to stay.
“Look,” Liam sighed, “you need to do what’s best for you. If you think that looks like going back to Michigan and trying out something new there, then you should do it.”
“But—?” I asked, knowing it was coming.
He stared at me, seemingly at war with himself over words unsaid. But I knew I couldn’t force him to say whatever was on his mind unless he absolutely wanted to say it. And apparently, he didn’t.
“But nothing,” he said finally. “I think this is something you have to decide on your own.”
“Gee, thanks,” I scoffed, as he poured two mugs of coffee, pushing one across the counter toward me. “Glad to know my best friend doesn’t care if I stay or go.”
“So dramatic.” He rolled his eyes. “Of course I don’t want you to go. But because you are my best friend, I want you to do what’s right for you more than I want you to do what’s comfortable for me.”
A shit-eating grin encompassed the lower half of my face at his words.
“Are you finally admitting out loud that I’m your best friend?”
“You’ve always known it.”
“Yeah, but my love language is words of affirmation, and it’s nice to hear it out loud every once in a while.” I batted my eyes at him dramatically, much to his disdain.
“Brody?” he said, fixing me with a glare.
“Yeah, bestie?”
“Don’t push it.”
“Got it.” I nodded, sobering up quickly with a sip of black coffee. “But anyway, since we’re on the topic of following my heart and what-not… I sort of agree with you. Problem is, I don’t really know how I’m going to feel about being in Michigan until I’m back there.”
Liam waited for me to continue.
“So, I booked a flight and I’m leaving in an hour,” I said, watching with amusement as his face transformed to one of utter shock.
“You’re leaving for Michigan today?”
“Don’t start planning my farewell party just yet,” I hurried to add.
“I’m just going there to check out some apartments.
See what the job scene is like. Feel out the vibes.
” I shrugged. “Basically, I’m just hoping I’ll have a strong gut reaction either way telling me if I’m making the right choice or not. ”
Liam shook his head in disbelief.
“I can’t believe you’re changing the course of your life based on ‘the vibes.’”
“I already told you, I’m not changing anything. It’s more like a trial run.” I shook my head. “And anyway, I’m asking if you’ll keep it quiet because I don’t want Maggie to know.”
“Why can’t Maggie know?” he asked. “I mean, I get not going out of your way to tell her, but why are you trying to swear me to secrecy over it?”
“Because I just don’t want her to think she’s, like, running me out of town or something. I mean, really it has nothing to do with her.”
It has everything to do with her.
“You know what this reminds me of?” Liam said.
“What?”
“That episode of The Office where Jim moves away to some branch in Stamford after Pam breaks his heart.”
My jaw dropped. Whatever I’d been expecting him to say, it wasn’t that.
“Since when do you watch The Office?” I cackled, nearly spitting out the sip of coffee I’d been drinking.
“Cassie and I watch sometimes after Lily goes to bed.” He shrugged, clearly not seeing the big deal.
“Oh, how much you’ve changed over the years.” I shook my head slowly.
“And you haven’t at all,” he responded, and I was struck with the realization that he was completely right.
How long had it been, ten years since I’ve known him? And in that time, he got married, had a kid, bought a house, became Captain of the Harbor Wolves… and what have I done except stand still?
It was depressing as hell the more I thought about it. Especially since I had hoped and planned and truly believed I’d be at a similar stage of life as him by now.
But I wasn’t. Not even close.
“Hey, Brody,” Liam started, sensing my deflation.
“I gotta get ready to head out,” I said, standing from my seat. “Thanks for the coffee and the chats and everything.”
“Brody,” he called again, but I was already out of the room.
I didn’t need Liam to comfort me, to tell me that it didn’t matter how “behind” I was in life because everyone moved at different paces. But the thing was, this wasn’t the pace I wanted to be moving at.
And if I stayed here in Boston, then I knew I’d spend the rest of my life pining after Maggie Brynn forever.
Yeah, I thought, maybe Michigan wasn’t looking so bad after all.