19. Callum
Callum
Hey Cal, it’s Jeff. I want… Shit, I don’t know where to begin.
I guess I’ll start by saying that I love my wife.
I love her so much. And today, we passed that pretty church near the river on our way home from the store.
You know, the one with the massive rosebushes out front?
A bride and groom were standing outside, and…
Well, Tammy burst into tears. She—sorry, bud, I’m not trying to get emotional here.
It’s just… We know we’ll never see him get married, and we’ve come to peace with it.
But when I asked if that’s why she was crying, she shook her head and pointed to the picture of you and him in her wallet.
And it just wrecked me. I know it’s hard for you right now, but I’ll do just about anything to put a smile on her face.
All she wants is to see you, Cal. Whether you’re good, bad, worse for wear.
She’ll take you in any condition. Please consider stopping by. Love you.
* * *
This last week with Peyton has been nothing short of fantastic. Coffee shop dates, walking around the town square, fooling around like teenagers in my truck… I don’t think either of us can get enough of each other.
I’ll run into you tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow.
And repeat.
I do another shoulder press, forcing out a gritty breath when I slowly bring the dumbbells down. Two more presses, then I’ll start on bicep curls. Carter’s been on my ass this whole session, and I know my muscles will be screaming tomorrow.
Carter claps me on the shoulder. “So, Peyton’s great.”
She’s more than great, but Carter probably doesn’t need a whole podcast on the subject, so I just agree. “Yeah, she is.”
His eyes start wandering around the room nervously, and he rubs a hand down his face. “And you’re handling her, erm, health stuff okay?”
I freeze. “How do you know about her health stuff?”
“Just at Thanksgiving dinner. She kind of mentioned something about it while you were getting the pies.”
My eyes widen. Wow. I’m surprised Peyton was so open about her touch aversion with my family. A sense of pride overwhelms me. She must’ve really felt comfortable with them, even without me there.
I put the 35 pound dumbbells back on the rack and reach for the 25s. “All I’ll say is that we’ve been working on it together. She’s doing really good. But I’d rather not talk about this when she’s not here.”
Carter still looks wary, but holds his hands up. “Fair enough. I’m glad it’s going well. We really like her for you. You’re not a wet blanket anymore. It’s odd.”
Be that as it may, I won’t ever be the same as I was before.
My stomach drops when I think of the anniversary in just a few days.
I’ve gone back and forth on if I should tell Peyton what happened beforehand, but ultimately decided that I need to see this one through myself.
I want to share the details with her when I’m more available emotionally—not when I’m stressed.
I set the weights down after completing the first set. “I still have PTSD, Carter.”
Carter nods and checks his watch, timing my rest. “True. But before, you were like a soaked blanket, drenched and weighed down. And now, it’s like you’re a microfiber towel with water-wicking properties.
” He pauses and turns to face me. “The water being your PTSD, and the wicking being your emotional capacity for it.”
I sigh. “I’ll literally do anything if you stop talking.”
He smirks. “Rest’s over. Two more sets.”
“Asshole,” I mutter, straining as I curl the dumbbells up.
“I’d be offended, but your insults just mean I’m doing my job,” he retorts.
I finish the final rep of my set and put down the weights. “Hey. I forgot to mention something at dinner the other night.”
“What is it?”
I exhale through my teeth. “I met DT at the Harvest Festival.”
“Yeah.” Carter snorts. “And I went on a date with Zendaya last night at Francesco’s.”
“I’m being honest. I’ll show you a picture. He even told me to call him Daniel.”
He stops moving entirely, narrowing his eyes. “You’re actually serious?”
“Yep. On Zebra, I swear it. I’ll show you a picture after this set. He came to visit Peyton.”
Carter’s jaw drops. “DT visited Peyton? Your Peyton? How are you not freaking out right now?”
“What do you mean?”
He purses his lips to one side, dropping his chin like he’s about to reveal a hard truth to me. “Cal. I don’t want to knock your confidence or anything, but… It’s DT.”
I know exactly what he’s getting at, but I’m having too much fun. “What’s your point? Are you saying I’m not as good as him? That Peyton would leave me for him?”
He winces.
“Wow, Carter. I was just starting to feel better about myself. This is going to set me way back.”
Carter pales. “Fuck. Sorry. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, and then… Wait. Are you messing with me? I knew it! What the hell would DT be doing in Waterton?”
I double over with laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard in my life. My eyes water, and the sight of me causes Carter to break, too.
“I did meet him, and he was visiting Peyton.” I can barely get the words out between wheezes. “She’s best friends with his little sister. But he’s very happily married, and she’s not interested.”
Carter heaves a sigh. “Thank God. And you suck for not texting me immediately. I would’ve wanted an autograph.”
I start my last set. “I had to be cool. I didn’t want to freak Peyton out, and he was kind of incognito. They were barely here. Just stopped by before heading back to Columbus.”
Carter nudges my elbow closer to my ribs. “Fix your form. Also, if it wasn’t confirmed before, it definitely is now. You cannot break up with that woman. At least not until I meet DT first.”
“Wasn’t planning on it. For other reasons, though.”
“Yeah. Those, too.” Carter assesses my form again, nodding with approval. “So what’re you up to tonight?”
Sucking in a deep breath between bicep curls, I grit out, “Peyton invited me over.”
“Over to her place? Tonight?”
I let the weights hang at my sides, a quick reprieve for my burning muscles. “Yeah… what of it?”
“That’s great, man. I’m really happy for you. I didn’t know you were there yet.” He pulls his shirt off his chest, fanning himself to cool down.
“You didn’t know I was where? At the point in my relationship where I can hang out at her house as a grown adult?”
He holds his hands up. “Sorry! It’s just…”
“Say what you want to say, Carter.”
He shrugs. “It’s nothing. But if you need condoms, I have some in my bag I can give you.”
That gives me pause.
With Peyton… Of course, sex has crossed my mind. But knowing her aversions, I’ve tried to intentionally put it off my radar. Sex feels big, compared to what we’ve done so far, and I don’t want to obsess over something she’s not even ready to explore.
Even if she was ready, Peyton likely has more experience with all of this than I do, and I don’t want to disappoint her.
I also might’ve forgotten some of the “technical details.” Remembering to buy condoms, the best kind of lube…
I guess I’m not fully up to date on sex, considering it’s been years since I’ve had it.
All in all, I kind of resent Carter for bringing it up.
I want it to be good for Peyton, which leaves me with only one unappealing option—asking my little brother.
I clear my throat. “Is there… anything, uh, new I should know, if it happens?”
He shrugs. “Same old, same old. But you’ll enjoy it more since you love her. I’ve only ever had that once in college, and it was the best sex of my life.”
Love her.
Do I love Peyton?
An intense realization clicks into place as I process this revelation. I feel this rush of sudden understanding traveling up my spine, coating my ribs in something unexpected but welcome.
“Did I break you?” Carter says, looking slightly panicked, and I realize I’ve been staring blankly at his forehead.
“You didn’t break me. I just…” I trail off. Hypothetical sex is one thing, but I don’t want to talk to him about the depth of my feelings for Peyton. Feelings I haven’t even shared with her yet.
Snapping myself out of the daze, I say, “It’s all good. And thanks for the advice. I might take you up on your… uh, offer.”
“Say no more. Do you want ribbed, tingling, lubricated, flavored, or glow-in-the-dark?”
“Glow in the… What the fuck, Carter? It’s not a scavenger hunt. If it happens, she’ll be able to find my dick without lighting it up like the Empire State Building.”
Carter blinks. “Wow, Cal. Brag, much?”
“I’m leaving now. Goodbye, Carter James.” I pick up my water bottle and head for the showers.
He shouts after me, his voice echoing throughout the empty space. “Full-naming me? In my own gym?”
“You know what you did!” I call behind me.
“Have fun tonight! I love this for you, Callum William!”
* * *
I knock a few times on Peyton’s apartment door before I hear fast footsteps heading my way. She throws the door open and wraps her arms around me. Like an electric jolt between us, my body buzzes when we collide.
“Fancy running into you,” I tease, soaking in the feel of her body against mine.
Peyton still hasn’t let go of me, and her silvery laugh floats through the air. It’s so bright and bubbly and infectious—her, summed up. She pulls back and pins me with her gaze.
“I’m so excited you’re here. I have pizza, and I have you. What more do I need?”
I have you. It’s like her words are carbonated, and I can almost feel the popping sensation as they settle in my stomach.
I stare into her sage eyes. “Pizza and you sounds pretty good to me, too.”
My arm stays wrapped around her waist as we walk into the kitchen. A pizza box sits propped open on the counter, and the smell of basil and garlic makes my stomach rumble.
She’s wearing jeans and a blue knit sweater with tiny navy blue polka dots on it. A matching bow holds half of her long hair back, the rest cascading down her back. “I like your outfit, Pey. You look beautiful.”
She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Thanks. You look great, too.”