Chapter Twenty-One – Evelynn
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
EVELYNN
He won’t leave my side, always needing to be in contact with me. Every hour, his fingers delicately dance along the skin of my neck, feeling for my pulse, even when I’m awake and breathing.
They hunted for Seraphine, tried to chase her down, but she was gone.
Her tracks disappeared around two miles from here.
I saw that as a form of relief. That she was at least away from here.
Lucian would not accept that, sending out his brothers each day, searching farther and farther afield to find her.
I sit curled up on the couch in the main room, the roaring fire in front of me warming my skin, while Lucian paces before me. It’s like watching a caged animal, desperate to be free.
I let out an exasperated breath. “Will you stop pacing? It’s been four days. She’s gone.”
He halts, those amber eyes pinning me in my seat. “I will not rest until she is found,” he snaps.
I roll my eyes. “I know, but pacing back and forth isn’t helping. Why don’t you go for a hunt? Maybe that will calm you a little,” I suggest.
He swallows, the thirst, the need to feed clearly visible. “I won’t leave you,” he says through gritted teeth.
I sweep my hair from my neck and tilt my head. “Well, then feed from me,” I offer.
He blinks. “I would never,” he says firmly, with no room for discussion.
“Well, you say that now, but what happens in one or three days’ time when you are starving, craving your next feed? Even humans will do whatever they can to feed themselves. So instead of leaving it to the point of you losing control, go and hunt,” I bite back firmly.
He moves swiftly, a blur of motion, until he stops before me, his hands resting on either side of my head on the back of the couch. He leans down, his nose brushing against mine.
“Are you telling me what to do?” he asks low, his voice rough.
A few weeks ago, if I were in this position, I would feel fear creep up and along my spine, even before I knew he was a vampire.
Now, I live for it. The dominating heat searing from his gaze has my body reacting, wanting nothing more than to provoke the dangerous vampire who can so easily take my life.
Yet I know, deep within my soul, he never will.
A slow grin spreads across my face. “Yes, I am,” I breathe, unable to hide what he does to me. His eyes flare, sensing it.
“Respectfully, if you two are going to start this back-and-forth sexual tension shit, then I’m going to end up throwing up in my lap,” Clutch says, adding a mock gag at the end.
I laugh as Lucian snaps his gaze to Clutch, glaring at him in annoyance. Clutch smirks, holding his hands up in defence.
“She’s right. You need to feed,” Cain states firmly as he comes to stand beside Clutch.
Lucian stands, his fingers gliding across the pulse in my neck as he does.
“Since when has my diet been the concern of all of you?” Lucian grits out.
“Since you fucking marked a mortal. Now fuck off and go feed before you snap and do something you’ll regret,” Cain argues back.
Lucian stills for a moment, both he and Cain standing there in a stubborn stare-off.
Lucian gives a tight nod, finally giving in as Cain, speaking from experience, finally breaks through Lucian’s stubborn skull. Lucian bends down, pressing his mouth to mine in a light, barely-there kiss.
“Don’t leave, don’t move. I won’t be long,” he whispers his orders across my lips.
“Did anyone tell you that you have control issues?” I murmur as he pulls back.
I’m rewarded with a smile the devil would be proud of.
“When I get back, I will show you exactly the kind of control I would like to inflict on you,” he says, an erotic threat that has my thighs clenching.
“You keep talking to her like that, I’m going to get hard,” Clutch teases.
Lucian lets out a low, irritated growl before placing a final kiss on my lips and leaving, while giving Clutch a ‘say one more fucking word, I dare you’ look.
“Why do you tease him like that? You know he would beat your ass.” Cain smirks as he takes a seat beside me.
Clutch smiles cockily, twirling his toothpick with his tongue. “Because it’s fun, and it got him out hunting, so he won’t be a miserable asshole when he comes back. No need to thank me now, you can do it later.” He winks before walking off.
I laugh and shake my head.
“How are you doing, mortal?” Cain asks, his eye inspecting the now purple bruise on my cheek, courtesy of Seraphine.
“I’m good.” I shrug.
His penetrating red eyes watch me intently. “You’ve talked it through with Lucian, about the whole marking thing?” he asks.
I shake my head no. When I woke, he held me so tight, his face a mix of concern and rage. He’s been so caught up trying to find Seraphine and looking after me, although I don’t need it.
“What’s there to talk about?” I shrug.
Cain arches his brow in surprise at my question. “Everything,” he states bluntly. “You must have questions.”
I look down at the book on my lap, staring at the words but not taking them in. I have questions, of course I do, but if I ask them, then I will be forced to ask the big one. The main question that is bouncing around my head.
If I die, he dies.
Is that why he really cares? Is that why he’s been so attentive? The checking my pulse thing? He needs to look after the only thing that could kill him, right?
I swallow. I don’t want to ask those questions. I don’t want to even think about them, because then it bursts this happy bubble that I’m in. I’m not ready for it to pop.
I give Cain a small smile. “I don’t need answers,” I lie.
Cain’s lips purse, seeing straight through my bullshit. “Fine, you’re not going to ask him. Ask me,” he gestures.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Why? What are you scared of? Believe me, you’ve dealt with Seraphine, you can handle these answers,” he says, trying to coax me.
I sigh, looking back at the book.
“You’ve read that same page for the last fifteen minutes. I know mortals are slow, but I don’t think you are that slow. Put down the book and ask me some questions. I can see your little mind whirling with them,” he pushes.
“No, just leave me alone with this book,” I snap.
With vampire speed, he whips the book from my hand and tosses it into the fire.
“That was a first edition!” I screech.
He shrugs, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Ah, Jane is overrated anyway. A real bitch, by all accounts.”
My mouth drops open in shock. “You knew Jane…”
“Yeah, you’d be surprised how many people I knew that are now really famous after fucking dying,” he says. “Stop getting distracted and ask me questions.”
“Well, now I want to know who you knew,” I state truthfully.
“Fine. For each question you ask, I will reveal a famous dead person,” he offers.
“Fine.” I grin, knowing I will ask him everything but the question that keeps me awake at night. “Have you marked anyone?”
“No,” he answers quickly, making me think he’s thought about it. “Shakespeare. Next question.”
“You knew Shakespeare?! Was he nice?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not part of the deal. I said I would tell you who I knew, not give a character reference. Next question.”
I pout in annoyance. “Can vampires mark more than one person?” I ask.
“No. Jack the Ripper,” he says swiftly. “Next question.”
“Whoa, whoa. Hold up. You knew who Jack the Ripper was, and you never told the police?”
He rubs his face, irritated. “I did. They didn’t listen. I left them clues, but they chose to ignore them. It doesn’t matter. I killed him anyway.”
I blink at him, not believing what I’m hearing. “I literally can’t think of any other question, because now my thoughts are consumed with the fact you knew Jack the Ripper.” I shake my head in disbelief.
“Lucian knew Henry the Eighth, Napoleon, Da Vinci, fucking Guy Fawkes. I think Clutch knew Elvis. The thing is, when you are the undead and live as long as I have, you meet a lot of people,” he states.
“I, I mean, I can’t even...” I rub my temples.
“What’s the matter?” Lucian asks, storming in. “You upset her?” he snaps at Cain.
“Jesus, no. You feed?” Cain asks. “You were really fucking quick.”
“Yeah, some guy lost in the woods. Had his leg trapped between two rocks. Easy pickings.” Lucian shrugs as he sits down beside me, lifting me like I’m nothing but air and placing me on his lap, his fingers trailing slowly up my spine to my neck, tracing my pulse yet again.
“I’m alive, okay?!” I snap. Apparently, my resolve is weaker than straw. “Your lifeline is alive. You don’t need to keep checking my pulse every damn minute of every damn day. I’m not about to die,” I rant.
“And that is why I tried to get you to ask questions.” Cain tuts, shaking his head as he walks out, leaving Lucian and me alone.
He shifts me around to face him so I’m straddling his lap. His firm grip on my chin forces me to look at him.
“You want to tell me what that outburst was all about?”
The bubble I was trying to protect is well and truly burst, thanks to my pathetic, overthinking brain. I guess I’m not so good at burying things at the back of my mind.
“I know that you feel the need to feel for my pulse, for confirmation that I’m okay, that I’m alive. Because if I die, you die.”
“Firstly,” he murmurs, his voice low and lethal, “I don’t need to feel your pulse to know you’re alive.”
His finger circles my nipple, deliberately. It tightens beneath him, and I drag in a shuddery breath.
“Right there,” he continues softly. “I can see it. I can feel it. You react to me. That’s life.”
His hand keeps moving, sliding beneath the waistband of my shorts like he owns every inch of me.
His fingers glide over my centre, and I gasp, my hands fisting in his shirt as he slips two fingers inside me.
My body arches toward him. He watches my face as he withdraws.
I open my mouth to protest, but the words die when he lifts his hand and inhales slowly, eyes darkening.
“I can smell that you’re alive.” He brings his fingers to his lips, sucking my essence from them with a quiet, deliberate hunger. “I can taste that you’re alive.”
The words vibrate through me. I swallow hard, forcing myself to breathe past the ache he’s carved into me.
“Why did you mark me?” I whisper.
“I don’t know,” he answers immediately. The bluntness makes my heart stumble.
Then his jaw tightens. “I knew you were mine. I knew I would never let you go, and when I had you there under the burning spray of the shower, your warm, soft body wrapped around mine while I took you, while you cried my name from those pretty lips…” His hand slides to my jaw, forcing my eyes to his. “That’s when I knew it was permanent.”
His voice drops, becoming rougher. “My body already craved yours. But my dead heart…” He exhales sharply, like the memory hurts. “My dead heart fucking swelled every time I held you, and it nearly shattered when Seraphine threatened to take you from me.”
Tears sting my eyes. “Are you saying you love me?” I choke out.
He shakes his head once. “No.” The word lands like a heavy blow.
“Love is fragile. Love fades, and love dies.” He leans in until his forehead presses to mine, his grip tightening.
“What I feel for you is immortal. It doesn’t weaken.
It doesn’t decay. It never ends.” His thumb brushes under my eye, catching a tear.
“If we lose each other in this life, I will find you in the next. I will always find you.”
His voice turns possessive, feral. “You are mine. Forever. I don’t care if the world burns around us, don’t care who stands in my way.” His lips brush my ear. “No one living or fucking dead will ever take you from me.”
My heart stops, and my breath becomes frozen in my chest. My tears continue to fall as his words consume me.
I want to tell him I feel the same. I want to tell him that what I feel for him feels bigger than love, but my mind, my soul, is in a whirlwind of emotion.
Out of all my feelings, all my thoughts, only two words escape me.
“Holy fuck.”