11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Sam
Soren’s incredibly soft lips brushed against mine. Just a feather-light touch. Not insistent. Not demanding. A promise of more—but only if I asked for it.
I didn’t.
Instead, I cupped his cheeks in my hands and again pressed our lips together. This was nice, and it didn’t, for the most part, make me think of sex. I didn’t feel an obligation to take this further than I was comfortable.
Gently, Soren ran his fingernails along my scalp.
I moaned because him doing that felt so damn good.
“You like that?” He pulled away from the gentle kiss and met my gaze. “I want to make you feel good, Sam. And that kind of pleasure is mostly in the mind.”
“As opposed to the rest of my body?” My cock was stirring—until I thought about doing something with it. Or something with Soren’s. Then things kind of shut down.
He grinned that wicked smile I’d become accustomed to over the last week. “You know it. If this is all you’re ever able to give me, then that’s enough. Do you see that?”
I gazed down at his lap. At his erection. I sighed. “This doesn’t feel fair.”
He tilted my chin up and my gaze back to his.
“I can control—” He gazed upward—as if in contemplation—then met my gaze again.
“I might not be able to control certain parts of my anatomy—because I find you attractive—but I can absolutely control what I do about that attraction. Delaying pleasure isn’t difficult for me. ”
“Like jerking off later?”
“Sure. Or not. I’m not worried about blue balls.”
“Ah.” I closed my right eye—as if that could make me focus. “I worry.”
He pressed a kiss to my lips. “Don’t.” He smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”
I nodded vigorously. “I like hugs.”
He opened his arms, and I fell into them.
I tucked my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. As he gently placed his hands on my back, this felt…
perilously perfect. Like this was how things were meant to be.
Like if we could just stay this way forever, that maybe things might work out and—
Soren’s alarm went off.
I clung a little tighter.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Feeding time.”
“Yeah.”
“How about you take that and I scrounge something for dinner? Or we can order pizza?”
I sat up at that.
He turned his alarm off.
“Pizza?” I grinned. “I love pizza, but I hardly ever have it.”
He cocked his head.
I shrugged. “It’s expensive, you know?”
His eyes softened. “That’s fair. I’ll admit I don’t think about things like that. If I’m about to pull an all-nighter, then I’ll order a pie. Okay, so what do you want on your pizza.”
“Uh, well—” Am I supposed to be honest? If he’s paying… “I’m pretty easygoing.”
He arched an eyebrow.
“No green pepper, pineapple, anchovy, or mushrooms. Oh, and preferably no green olives.”
He burst out laughing.
I pouted.
He pressed a kiss to my lips. “I can work with that. I’ll literally put anything on my pizza. I mean anything. Even anchovies. Now, how about onions?”
After consideration, I said, “Sure. But what about kissing? I mean not that we plan—” Heat raced to my cheeks. “Never mind.”
Another chuckle escaped him. “You’re so adorable. I can hope we do more kissing and cuddling. How about pepperoni, bacon, and black olives?”
I nodded.
“Anything else?”
I shook my head.
Peaches yowled.
Soren laughed right along with me.
He placed the order for the pizza, then fed Jack while I took care of Peaches.
My heart still ached from losing Carlos, but I’d come to accept that I’d done the right thing.
He might’ve been suffering, and he wasn’t going to make it.
I gave him a quiet death in Dr. Malcom’s hands. What more could I ask for?
“They said thirty minutes.” Soren checked his watch. “Pretty soon. What would you like to drink? I do have a few flavors of soda. To keep around for days when I just can’t drink another glass of water.”
I laughed. “I’ve cut back on soda, but would love one tonight. Do you have root beer?”
“Absolutely.” He put Jack back in the crate as I finished up with Peaches. “You want to sit in front of the television? We’ve got a few shows we can pick from.”
“I’d like that. And maybe we select something with a bunch of episodes or seasons?” I gestured to the kittens. “I’ll be here for a bit of time yet.”
Soren grinned. “I know. And I’m looking forward to it.”
In the end, we settled down with our pizza, root beers, and a British crime drama with multiple episodes spread over multiple seasons.
Within twenty minutes, our plates were abandoned on the side table, and I was curled into Soren’s side.
This level of intimacy didn’t cause me panic.
I didn’t feel like I should be doing more.
We were just watching television, and he was feathering his hand through my curly hair.
I had my hand resting on his thigh. With a sense of self-preservation, I was not checking to see if he was aroused.
He’d said that didn’t matter—and I had to believe him.
By the end of the second episode, I was nodding off.
Soren helped me sit up properly. “Head to bed, Sam. I’ve got everything under control.”
He did, of course, but that didn’t lessen my guilt. “You need more rest.”
His smile lit my insides as he caressed my cheek. “I’m getting more than enough rest. By the time Tibby and I get back from our walk, it’ll be time to feed the little ones. Then I’m off to bed. I promise I’ll get lots of sleep.” He kissed my nose. “All good.”
I had to believe him. I could barely keep my eyes open, and I had to be back at work in the morning. After a moment, I leaned forward.
He met me and our lips pressed together.
In the end, I pulled back first. “I think I like kissing, and I think I like snuggling.”
“Same with me.” He grinned. “We can find our own way through this—I promise.”
I believed him. Somehow what we had—and I truly had no idea what it was—would bring us together.
More than just tending for kittens. Some shared understanding of unique grief.
Him for the marriage that hadn’t survived and me for the family I’d lost. Now we had Carlos’s death to add to the pile.
I rose, pressed my hand to his cheek one more time, and headed upstairs.
Getting ready for bed took mere moments, and I was under the covers and asleep in no time.
Waking up at the sound of the alarm proved easier than the last few days. Even after the reality of yesterday slammed into me, I still felt more refreshed than I had in a very long time. At least since I’d found the kittens in a box. Maybe even longer than that.
Soren made me feel safe. Protected. Like I had someone in my corner.
I got ready and headed downstairs.
He wasn’t in the kitchen, but a note on the counter encouraged me to eat toast and eggs and pointed to a lunch in the fridge. He must’ve forgotten I hadn’t eaten yesterday’s. He also said he was exhausted but that the kittens were fed.
Likely he hadn’t meant for me to feel guilty—but I did.
Still, I had a scrambled egg sandwich, grabbed my lunch, checked on the kittens, then headed out to my SUV.
Soon I was on the road to the store, and my mind went about a hundred miles per hour as I reviewed everything I had to do today.
Missing most of yesterday meant working doubly hard today. Still, I could do it.
“You know I can work late and take care of the store, Sam.” Desiree was gentle in her commiseration.
“I need to be here. We’ve got a big delivery coming, the shelves are getting empty, and Soren’s got things taken care of.” I straightened the display rack of treats in front of the cash register.
“If you say so.” Desiree eyed me. “You’re going to be okay?”
“Do I have a choice?” I gazed around the store. “This is my livelihood. It’s all I have.”
“You have Quinta.” She made her way over to the toy section and started picking up a few stray ones that had fallen out of their slots.
“Who doesn’t seem to be in any rush to come home.” I shrugged. “I’m confused.”
“Do you want me to call her? Might be a woman thing.” She straightened the dog leashes.
“What?” I gaped. “What are you talking about?”
She gave me that look. “She’s a young woman. She might be having young-woman issues.”
“But. But—” I just sort of sputtered. “I taught her about all that stuff. She would come to me, right? Right?” I didn’t even want to contemplate what young woman things might entail.
Desiree shrugged. “Do you want me to give her a call? We’re not close close, but I certainly know her.”
I considered. And considered. And finally let out a long breath. “I suppose…?”
She held out her phone. “Dial.”
“You don’t want to use my phone?”
“She might not answer.
“She might not answer an unknown number either.”
“Maybe.” Desiree gestured impatiently.
I took her phone and entered Quinta’s number. After I handed the phone back, Desiree made the call.
“Hey, sweetheart. It’s Desiree. How are you?”
“No. No. No—” She squinted. “Your uncle is just fine. He’s in the office.” She glared.
I glared back.
She gestured for me to shoo.
Finally, at length, I decided to leave. As hard as that was, perhaps Quinta would be more forthright with Desiree?
And what if she was having some kind of trouble?
My mind raced at the possibilities. Even as I tucked my lunch into the fridge next to the prior day’s, I tried to tamp down the panic I always felt when I thought of my niece hundreds of miles away.
In a big city. With all the things that might go wrong.
I’d spent half a year in Los Angeles for my first year of college.
I’d been so relieved to return home—only to catastrophically lose most of my family just a few days later.
I never considered going back. Not once.
Not just because I needed to stay and take care of Quinta.
No. I stayed because I wasn’t a big-city guy.
Hartsville was as big as I wanted to get.
If I had a choice, I’d probably pick Foggy Basin because the town was even smaller.
Quainter.