XIII
They did eventually find a place to settle for the night, but it had already long become dark by then. This left Alex fumbling around for kindling on his own in the staining black.
?James pretended to be napping still, even if it was apparent for everyone around him that he was wide awake.
?"Um, Sir Alex, there's some kindling in these boxes somewhere." Fletcher informed him.
?James smirked to himself.
?"I can't see well enough to look around the cart." Alex replied.
?It was nice to not be the only one in that predicament for once.
?James then heard a small thud and then Alex muttering; "Ow, shit." In addition to that, James felt some cold water drops tap his skin as the rain hesitated to fall.
?It was the perfect storm of irony to keep James in high spirits.
?"It's gonna rain." James warned Alex, his voice laden with humour.
?"I know." he snapped back.
?"If we hadn't left the previous carriage behind we'd at least have a roof over our heads." James pressed, knowing full well they had no other choice. The merchant's wagon they'd taken was no more than a horse-pulled cart. There was no shelter.
?"Well, I can't predict the weather, Jaxon."
?"It's Jack."
?"It's bitch, is what it is."
?"I found some lamp oil." Fletcher interrupted.
?James listened to the music of Alex stumbling his way back to the cart.
?"Thanks." Alex said, taking it from Fletcher. "Anyway, what were you even doing out here?"
?"Well, you've heard of me, right?" Fletcher answered. "I've spent my whole life in Lyechester, so I'm taking time travelling. It's silly that the son of a merchant would only spend time in one city."
?James caved in to his curiosity. "Why's this dude so famous then? Didn't you say he was some kind of teacher?"
?It wasn't Alex who replied to him.
?"I'm not just a professor." Fletcher declared. "I'm a philosopher, a writer, a poet, you name it. If it involves words, I'm famous for it."
?James rolled his eyes, even if no one would see it.
?"I don't believe in philosophy. It's drivel."
?"No, I wouldn't have thought it was something you could manage.
" Alex piped in. "He was a teenage prodigy and was exempt from compulsory military enrollment because of his intellect.
" Alex paused, "I suppose you also probably didn't complete your mandatory service, you're just a criminal like that. "
?"I'm flattered you know so much about me." Fletcher said.
?"He still is a teenager, idiot. Is it your personal philosophy to lick all boots or just the ones that are shiny?"
?"I'm not—"
?Fletcher was interrupted by Alex's response; "You upset I'm not licking yours? You're right, they're not shiny enough, instead they look like you've walked through shit."
?James tempered down the manic bubble of laughter that threatened to spill out. "I swear to Adeia, I will make you eat mine one day."
?"There's not enough polish in this world."
?"Please! You two, I'm cold." Fletcher complained. "Why don't you help Alex build his fire if you want his attention that desperately?"
?"I don't need his help." Alex grumbled.
?"Okay, well with that attitude, now I want to give it to you."
?"I forbid you."
?Fletcher groaned. "Guys, I've had a pretty traumatic day."
?"Make it a lifetime before you complain." James sneered at him, but there wasn't much heat behind his words.
?"Well, that's kind of the point of my travelling."
?"I didn't ask."
?Alex came over and lightly slapped the back of James' head in warning, James quickly seized his arm, got up, and twisted it behind Alex's back. James could feel, more than see, Alex's other arm held up in surrender.
?"You need to stop picking fights right now." Alex told him, his tone even, "I know you're frustrated but you're just making the inevitable more painful and difficult than it needs to be."
?"I don't mind dragging people down to hell along with me." James replied lowly, tightening Alex's arm lock and hopefully causing some pain. Alex had more muscle mass than James so it was hard to know how much pressure to put on him.
?"Even someone like Fletcher?"
?James hesitated for a moment. Behaving like this wouldn't kill Fletcher, but it would still make his experience worse; that would still count as inflicting pain in his rulebook. James had no way of knowing how disturbed the kid was after his experience if he wasn't able to read it on his face.
?James released Alex and smacked him on the back of the head, thrice as hard, for good measure. Alex let him.
?"Fine. I'll help you build your fucking fire then."
?An awkward tension hung in the air as James searched for dry wood nearby, none of the men speaking about what just occurred.
?"I thought James was supposed to be the prisoner?" Fletcher later said as James brought his haul of dry wood to the carriage. Alex wasn't as lucrative in his search, finding nothing. James was impressed with himself, perhaps he just had better practice being blind compared to Alex.
?"He is." Alex confirmed. "It's... complicated."
?"It's quite simple actually. Alex just keeps crossing the line and withstanding the consequences of doing so."
?"That... doesn't sound like something a prisoner would say." Fletcher murmured.
?James could tell the kid was getting worried over their prisoner-guard dynamic; neither men had particular control over the other.
?"You're fine," he told Fletcher, "it's just Alex that should be worried."
?"I'm not." Alex let him know.
?"Again. I did not ask." James asserted. "Now, give me the lamp oil or suffer the consequences."
?Alex did so, making sure it was done with more aggression than necessary.
?"Good boy."
?"Fuck you."
Alex listened as James organised his firewood into a grid and poured some lamp oil on top. He supposed that James must have had supernatural eyesight to manage finding all that kindling so quickly. Still, Alex had managed to confirm one thing.
?James held some kind of moral compass. Just as James didn't even seem to consider holding any of the villagers hostage, James was willing to change his behaviour for the sake of Fletcher, whom he didn't even know.
Ironic to his beliefs, James followed some kind of philosophy in his criminality and it seemed like innocent people were off the table.
?Even if Alex fundamentally disagreed with his attitude to murder and his methods of earning money, James did earn some respect in his pickiness. Alex knew he would have to look deeper into Jay's victims once they made it to the city— it might just shine a brighter light into James' brain.
?He wondered why he made that child flee the country.
?The fire came to life with ease and Alex was grateful he escaped lighting this one.
?Fletcher set up his nest under the carriage to hide from the steadily worsening rain, whilst Alex worked to make the fire bigger to withstand the moisture.
?James was happy sitting leaning against a tree, as always.
?"Don't the horses need shelter?" Fletcher asked. "They're going to get cold."
?"They're animals. They're clever. They'll find a place under some trees. I gave them a long enough tether." James informed him.
?"And what about you? There's enough room under here for both of you."
?Some of the humour returned to James. "You want to sleep next to a scary murderer?"
?"I thought you said they were just rude carvings..."
?James shrugged. "Right, sure. Anyway, I'm more comfortable in the open."
?Weirdly, it seemed Alex was the same; as Alex had set himself under a different tree.
?"Shouldn't he be tied up if he's a murderer..." Fletcher asked Alex with an edge of urgency, his voice unsteady.
?James chuckled at that.
?"Theoretically, he should be, yes..." Alex hesitated. "But, you're fine. He doesn't hurt innocent people, do you James?"
?James raised an eyebrow at him, meeting his gaze. "Are you asking, or are you confirming a suspicion of yours?"
?"Confirming." Alex answered, sincere.
?James thought about what kind of reply he should give.
?"Well... you're certainly close. Now you just have to ask yourself what an 'innocent' person is."
?"Someone who hasn't committed a crime?"
?"Not telling. Now it's my turn to receive an answer. Is your dad biologically related to you?"
?A flash of... something crossed Alex's face, too fast for James to catch.
He could see Alex chewing the inside of his cheek in the dim light.
James suddenly noticed that they were a lot closer to each other than he thought, he only had to stretch his leg to touch the other man. He stopped himself from doing so.
?"No, he's not."
?James smiled to himself. That meant Alex wasn't an illegitimate child then. He must have been the son from the mother's previous marriage, or an adoptee. James was one step closer to figuring out his identity.
?Alex appeared uncomfortable from giving his answer.
?"Fletcher." James called, changing the subject for Alex's sake. "What's your most famous thing?"
?Fletcher's eyes bounced between the two of them, his eyes inquisitive and bright despite the dark bags that underlined them. Intelligent, indeed.
?"A poem, actually." Fletcher said. "Whilst my philosophy is more popular with scholars, my most famous piece was a poem which is popular with commoners."
?Alex welcomed the distraction. "'The Elegy of the Sun', right?"
?"That's the one!"
?James rubbed his hands together, his bandages damp to the skin. "Never heard of it."
?"It's more popular in the Ankaid territories." Fletcher remarked. "It has two interpretations. From both the point of view of the 'sun' in the sky, or the surviving 'son' of the Ankaid royal house."
?James watched Fletcher blankly from the side of his eye, his mind going numb. "Fabian?"
?He saw Alex jerk his head to look at him, probably warning him with his eyes. James didn't need warning, he wasn't going to say anything about his assassination request if he wished for Fletcher to live.
?Fletcher laughed a little. "You're probably the only person alive who wouldn't address His Majesty properly. But, yes. It's about His Highness King Fabian's melancholic beginning of his reign after his family died in the blaze; paralleled by the loneliness of the great sun. Clever, huh?"
?James was silent for a moment, before recognising that Fletcher had been talking to him specifically.
?"Sure..." James trailed off. Against his better judgement, he couldn't help but add more. "But, why Fabian?" he asked. "Why not someone else?"
?Both men showed signs of confusion on their faces.
?"What do you mean?"
?"You're a commoner right?" James asked him.
?Fletcher shook his head slowly. "Not anymore."
?"But you were." James clarified, then looked down to pick at his fingernails.
"I'm sure a lot of people died that day, yet the only person who is celebrated is Fabian.
Sure, he lost his family— but what about all the other families who lost their loved ones?
He wasn't the only one. Some lost others right in front of their eyes, not being able to do anything whilst they burned to death.
I just don't understand why it always has to be about him. "
?After looking up at the men again, he regretted ever saying anything. Both sets of eyes were on him in an awkward silence.
?"Well... I suppose that's true." Fletcher said, clearly unsure of what to say.
?Alex didn't say anything at all.
?James cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to criticise your life's work, sorry. Those were just my thoughts. Good night to you two."
?James shuffled to lie down on the ground, leaning his head on his arm, facing away from the men and the fire.
He didn't hear the other two move for quite some time.
He was glad they let the subject go, annoyed that he didn't stop himself, as sincere as his words were.
Eris would have stopped him if she was there, she never got caught up in the moment like him.
?He needed to remember that those kinds of things weren't any of his business anymore. He killed people and then received money. That was it.
?It seemed his mentor hadn't completely beaten his past life out of him.
At some point in the early morning hours, Alex was woken up to being shoved. He sat up in a panic, not realising he had fallen asleep by accident.
?"Hey, shhh, it's just me."
?James.
?Alex quickly looked around, seeing if James had gotten the better of them in the night somehow, but all was normal. Fletcher was still sleeping under the wagon, and the rain had long stopped.
?Alex felt just as wet as the ground, his body captured by a damp chill.
?"What is it?" Alex whispered back.
?It was somewhat light. Light enough to see, but dark enough that it was hard to make out details. James kneeled next to him, his hair somewhat stringy from the moisture in the air and his eyes visible and alert.
?"Come with me." he said, standing.
?He offered a hand to Alex, but Alex didn't take it. As per usual, James didn't appear offended by the lack of trust Alex had in him and accepted that readily.
?Alex brushed some of the dirt off him once standing and glanced in Fletcher's direction.
?"We're not going to ditch him." Alex warned.
?James shook his head. "No, that's not it. I just have something to show you."
?He supposed that if James was going to kill him, he would have done it as he slept.
?James took them through the trees, following no particular path, but with the kind of purpose that signalled that James knew exactly where they were.
James had promised him it wasn't far, but Alex found himself increasingly worried about leaving Fletcher alone.
What if the bandits were waiting for them to separate?
?Those worries quickly disappeared once they suddenly found themselves in a large clearing of tall ribbons of grass, a white mist delicately settled on top.
Flecks of red balanced on the green and patches of yellow brushed over, the flowers gently swaying with the nipping breeze.
The sky itself glowed a dark gloomy purple smeared with a few orange clouds that could see the sun over the horizon, catching they light before they could.
?Alex found himself in awe.
?Then, James left Alex where he was and ventured into the field. The trail he left behind glowed brightly and floated upwards, as if he awakened stars as he walked through. The fireflies made small tutting noises, admonishing James for his rudeness.
?"It's so pretty." Alex admitted, basking in the flurry of colour. Even the trees seemed to tremble in excitement.
?"Right?" James smiled softly, brushing the grass with his hands and glittering the field more.
?"How did you know this was here?"
?James looked at him, like he was pleased with himself. "Try for yourself."
?Alex paused, but then took some tentative steps forward into the vegetation. The small insects welcomed him with their display. They travelled upward, chasing the stars that faded only moments ago.
?"I've been here before." James confessed, coming to stand next to him. Then, a solemn look passed his face. "It was a lot more colourful at that time."
?It seemed plenty colourful to Alex.
?"Why bring me here though?" he asked.
?"To help get that stick out your arse." James said, seriously.
?Alex couldn't stop the laughter that fizzed out his chest. "Wow. I can't believe you. This place was wasted on you."
?"True."
?Alex allowed himself to enjoy it a little bit longer, inspecting all the flowers close up as the fireflies hovered around, the field remained dark where they hadn't touched.
?Then, the first beam of the sun hit them, the insects' glow drowned out by its oppressive glare.
?Alex turned back, ready to return to Fletcher before he woke up, anxious of their absence. James was watching him from the sidelines, a weird look on his face. Alex got closer, wondering why James would openly show emotion now of all times.
?Once he got closer, he realised why.
?James' face shone in the light like a gold coin, every strand of hair, every blonde eyelash, all on display. Those reddish brown eyes had simply turned red overnight.
?Alex pursed his lips. "If you were anybody else, I would have turned a blind eye to it."
?James nodded solemnly. "I know."
?"I'm sorry. I have to take you regardless."
?James tried for a weak smile.
?"It's okay."
?Despite James' mood, he seemed entirely accepting of his fate. There were no obvious waves of resentment coming from him, nor did it seem like he expected anything different.
?"It was that eye stuff you had, wasn't it?"
?"A breakthrough in herbology— so to speak. Its effects are temporary, I knew this was going to happen eventually."
?Alex felt severely conflicted. "I know you call me a bootlicker, and I suppose I am. But... this was the one thing I always pretended not to see. I don't believe in all that stuff about demons."
?Alex wasn't sure why he was explaining himself to James, his opinion shouldn't matter to him.
?James shrugged and then nodded for Alex to follow. They started making their way back to camp, their path now much brighter. James took a minute before he spoke.
?"I'm not mad at your decision. My fate was going to be the same either way."
?Alex was sure his eyebrows were furrowed. "What do you mean?"
?James looked back at him with a noncommittal smile. "I know that they plan to kill me after I finish the job anyway."
?As much as Alex would have liked to believe that it wasn't true— that they'd keep their promise, he knew he was being naive. Alex suffered from being in a constant state of denial when it came to these things, he got better sleep at night assuming the best.
?"You don't have to confirm that." James went on, "I know you, yourself, don't know this for sure. But, I do. They will kill me anyway."
?"Are you not scared of dying?" Alex asked him.
?He interpreted the next minute of silence as James thinking about it.
?"I am scared," James admitted, eventually, "but there's never been a moment where I haven't been ready to accept it. I don't think it's unfair nor would I feel resentful. I've killed too many people to be allowed to feel that. It's too natural."
?Alex nodded, even though James wasn't looking at him. He found the answer quite sad, knowing James was going to die. He could no longer deny it to himself.
?"Are you?" James asked, throwing the question over his shoulder.
?Alex pondered for a moment. "I think I'd find it unfair, yeah. But, there are things that scare me more than death does." He was surprised by his own honesty.
?James sent one last smile his way, this one a lot less emotionally revealing— his classic lifeless grin. "That's that, then!"
?They made it back to camp before Fletcher woke up and James went on teasing the both of them like that conversation had never happened.
?Alex's chest was filled with a complicated array of feelings and hesitation. This was probably one of the hardest jobs he was going to have to do.
?Nonetheless, it was something he had no choice in. He was glad James didn't resent him for it.
?Somehow, that only made it harder.