XXXVI
The kingdom considered them insects, disgusting worker ants who lived solely to sweat blood and slowly kill themselves through unquestioning labour.
Their bodies were kept broken and their minds were kept so dull that no one even considered the possibility of running away.
On the outside, they were both the same.
?Though, the kingdom was only partially right.
?He stared down at the small trail of black ants, aimlessly following each other in a line across the soil, completely unaware of the world around them.
They were simply following directives, soullessly looking for food to feed their cruel queen.
The thought of appreciation never occurred to them; they were born to do that job and it was as simple as that.
?Lifting his sandalled foot in the air, he observed the shoe-shaped shadow that overcast them.
They remained unaware of the danger, continuing.
He stomped down on them, kicking his foot in hard, killing them.
After stepping away, the ants continued along the same path, stepping over their dead comrades in disinterest.
?Unlike the bugs, they were aware of the boot that lingered above them. Ants died because they were unaware, whilst the Ashadi slaves died because they were cowards; treading over their fallen kindred to save themselves and he was no different. He thought that was worse.
?Before the boy had been called Alex, he had been kept without a name.
?What was a boot to ants, was the Helou week to slaves. Because they bred too much, the kingdom was allowed a single week to cull their population annually; four days of murder followed by three days of apology. The kingdom was scared of them.
?Alex had been born during the Helou week, his birth had slowed his mother down as she had fled and she had been murdered as a result. Not him though, he had lived.
?The other slaves insisted he was cursed, that he'd killed his mother, so a name was something he'd never been granted.
Even though they believed that, he was still treated kindly.
They had fed him, raised him and protected him with a detached caution.
Even if he hated them, he loved them; those brave cowards.
?The sun baked his body like the soil, his bare skin darkening and his palms cracking as the summer heightened.
His birthday was soon and some of the younger children had grown weak to disease, likely to die soon anyway.
No one would protect them this time because they didn't see the point.
They'd be forgotten, just like the dead ants who'd been trampled over by their kin.
?Before he could think too hard about it, he got to his knees and began digging the watered soil, his fingers stinging from invisible cuts and splinters.
More than the slaves, he hated the kingdom that treated him like this.
The injustice was painfully enraging. It didn't matter if he was one boy, he wouldn't be a filthy coward like the rest of them, not this year.
He was cursed anyway, if he died, it would be a favour.
?Glancing around the fields, making sure he wasn't being watched, he buried his mattock— a sharp tool that could easily split open a skull. They wouldn't know.
?He wasn't sure why he was doing this exactly, nor did he know what his motivation was, but he was beyond caring. He was tired of living this torturous life.
?Even if the others wouldn't protect those dying children, he would.
? ? ? ?
"Isn't this nice?" James murmured happily, talking to Eris out of habit.
?They had made it to the town early and they had planned to stay in an inn, ahead of schedule. It was a nice change compared to sleeping on the cold bare ground under a tree. Although James was used to sleeping outside, he still appreciated some comfort occasionally.
?More importantly, they had two rooms between five of them. If James played his cards right, he could get him and Alex in one room and discard the rest of them in the other.
?"This is your room," Thomas said, opening one of the doors with the keys they had given him at the desk.
?It opened and revealed a simple chamber with old wooden floors and three tidy beds in a row. James frowned.
?"Who am I sharing with?" he asked.
?Alex and Riley were busy setting up the horses in the stables, so if he wanted to change the rooms around, it would have to be now.
?"Riley and Fletcher."
?James scoffed. "You're not serious. Put me in Alex's room."
?Thomas' face was neutral. "I have a duty to protect my superior," he stated plainly. "Your interest in him concerns me."
?"Well, that's for us to navigate." James gave one more look around the room and then stepped away from it. "You cannot put me in the same enclosed space as Riley, it will be a bloodbath."
?Fletcher frowned, coming to the same conclusion. "He has a point, Sir Thomas. I'll never be able to sleep with those two arguing all night. Can't you do something?"
?Fletcher had just earned some 'good boy' points by doing that. James would've given him a high-five if the setting was more appropriate.
?Thomas sighed, rubbing his palm into one of his tired eyes. "Okay, okay. Then, we'll put Riley with Alex; and the three of us can be in here together."
?James made a show of considering it in his head and artfully winced.
?"Riley and Alex in one room? The very conservative Riley? After he'd found out Alex could speak the slave's creole? If Riley didn't respect your superior before, he definitely doesn't now. Poor Alex."
?Thomas groaned. "Fine, fine, fine! I hate that you get your way." He shoved James the keys for the other room. The warning came out in a firm staccato; "Do not grope him in his sleep."
?"I promise." He would grope Alex when he was awake.
?James' room was the next one over. He unlocked the door, praying to Adeia, Moira, his ancestors, that there would have been a mistake and that he would be met with a double bed rather than two separate singles.
?The door swung open, knocking against the wall with a bang. The quiet chipper of birds reached his ears, the window slightly open and late daylight streaming in.
?Two singles.
?He clicked his tongue against his teeth. Maybe Alex was right, perhaps there were no Gods. His prayer had been very reasonable.
?"Was it really so much to ask for?"
?He hauled his bag into the room and dumped it on the bed that was furthest from the window. He hated windows, they made him edgy. If someone broke in through it, Alex could die first.
?James heard noise behind him, turning to see Thomas wordlessly dump Alex's luggage by the open doorway and skulk away again. James fetched it and shut the door, about to put it on Alex's designated bed.
?He hesitated.
?Actually, he was more skilled than Alex, so it would make sense that he should take the more dangerous bed instead. He switched his bag and then replaced it with Alex's, giving the other man the spot he'd originally wanted.
?He nodded in satisfaction.
?They couldn't have Alex dying on them. That man was the only person keeping him sane during this expedition, the others were annoying.
The duke would probably replace him with Caelan, which would be a nightmare.
He smiled to himself, recalling the rewarding sight of Caelan's wide scared eyes as he laid winded on the ground. Idiot. He chuckled out loud.
?James was about to strip into something more comfortable when there was a light knock at the door. In good humour, he flicked the latch and pulled, his smile losing its sincerity when he saw Fletcher at the door rather than Alex.
?"Can I help you?"
?Fletcher carelessly pushed past James into his room. "You can actually. Ino wanted me to check up on your hands occasionally."
?James' dominant hand twitched in annoyance but he didn't experience any urges to punish the younger man.
Fletcher was naive to the physical danger James presented, he wasn't entering his space and touching him maliciously.
James couldn't help but feel on edge but that was his problem, not Fletcher's.
?"What is she, my mother?"
?Fletcher smiled genuinely and then pointed at the bed.
?"Sit," he said.
?James narrowed his eyes, deciding whether to be difficult. Fletcher's face was too innocent for him to want to antagonise, so he obediently did as he was told, the mattress creaking as he flopped down on it.
?Fletcher kneeled down in front of his lap, holding his hands out in a silent request. James sighed and presented his palms face-up.
Fletcher delicately examined them, wincing as his careful fingertips feathered the blistering burns.
He paid extra attention to James' right hand, which was a lot worse than the left since he drew his sword with that one. James didn't feel a thing.
?He glanced up at James' face in serious concern. "You haven't used Eris to kill anyone since you got her back?"
?"Not at all."
?Fletcher's face was scrunched up, like he was in pain. "This is... concerning."
?Fed up with being pawed at, James snatched his hands back to himself. He clasped them together between his knees to protect them from further molestation. "What's concerning?"
?Fletcher tapped his fingers against his arm in a fidget, displacing some nervous energy. He then stood, pacing back and forth.
?James looked at his palms in confusion, unsure what the problem was. "They don't look that much different than usual," James clarified. They looked normal.
?Fletcher stared down at them, still tapping. "You say 'than usual', but that would normally include the odd murder, right?"
?"I suppose."
?Fletcher pointed at them. "Which means Eris is having to work harder on your mental state than she did before. That's what Ino wanted me to check."
?A flare of annoyance tensed him, aggrieved that others were discussing his mind among themselves like cheap gossip. "Wow, I had no idea my mental state was such a topic of interest for so many people. Brilliant. Am I supposed to feel happy about that?"
?Fletcher regarded him for a long moment, clearly contemplating something in his head. The best thing about Fletcher was that he was an easy read, it made him nonthreatening, even if his words sometimes grated.
?"Not happy, you should feel worried about it, James."
?"Worried?" James echoed. "I thought it was fine as long as I had Eris."
?Alex had made such a fuss about that, after all.
?Fletcher shook his head. "Eris doesn't fix you. She simply pulls you away from the edge." He glanced at James' hands again. "And it seems like she's having to pull extremely hard at that."
?James splayed his fingers out and then closed his fist, watching the way his palm creased around the hard patches of dried blisters.
He'd long lost the original ridges. The sensation of grave loss threatened to pull him down but it didn't happen, dissolving into nothing.
He wondered if that was also Eris' influence.
?He flopped them down in frustration. "And what would you suggest I do about that, Fletcher I'm hearing a lot of problems and not any solutions."
?After a silent beat, Fletcher perched on the other bed, facing him. He was fidgeting even more now, like he was gathering up his nerves to say something.
?"Actually, there's something I want to talk about..."
?James already knew what Fletcher was going to say. He waited anyway, he'd vented enough of his annoyance on the man already.
?Fletcher took a deep breath. "I know who you are."
?James waited.
?"You're Prince Julian, aren't you? King Fabian's brother— the one everyone thought died."
?"Why are you asking me like it's a question?"
?"You... what, huh?"
?"I know you know who I am. You found out at Ino's temple, didn't you? I don't care about that. No, I'm more curious how you know. Did Ino tell you?" He should've threatened that woman before he'd left.
?It took a moment for Fletcher's mind to process the information, his brain lagging. "You don't care?"
?"Well, it's not ideal..." Fletcher was far from the first to find out; the confidentiality had lost its novelty— the secret was out. He no longer felt so worried over it since it couldn't get much worse than this. Rumours might have been spread already.
?Fletcher blew out a wobbly breath. "I thought you were going to kill me."
?James raised an eyebrow. "You thought I would kill you... but you told me anyway? Dude..."
?Fletcher's severe lack of survival instincts was a phenomenon to marvel at. The scholar was the most intelligent idiot he'd ever met.
?Fletcher fiddled with his sleeve. "Well, I haven't been addressing you properly, Your Royal Highness."
?James cringed, shooting to his feet. He felt gross, like a family of mosquitoes had landed on his bare skin, it raised his hairs and made him shiver involuntarily. "Don't call me that. Never again."
?It was bad enough being called 'His Royal Highness' by King William, a man he had already known in the past. But, to be called that by a new acquaintance like Fletcher, especially when the scholar was commoner-born, it made him squirm.
?"How could I not?"
?James glared at him, considering his next words.
?"I find it very traumatising," he lied. "I don't want to talk about it."
?Fletcher nodded tentatively, reluctantly trying to accept the excuse.
He didn't seem confident in granting the request. James could sympathise, the gap between a commoner and a prince was so vast that James might as well have been from the divine realm.
Some commoners went as far as considering the royal families as Gods.
Breaking etiquette wasn't easy for the disadvantaged party, Fletcher must have felt like a rabbit cowering in front of a lion.
?James wasn't a prince anymore. He'd never served the people in that capacity, so it wasn't a title he'd ever earned. He didn't want to be called that.
?"Was it Ino?" he asked again.
?Fletcher shook his head adamantly. "No, she didn't say a word. It's because I was snooping at something she had written. It's not her fault."
?It was absolutely Ino's fault; James didn't doubt she had left that document out deliberately, daring someone to read it. That's why she had written it in plain Khearian. She was an audacious woman. He wasn't sure what she had hoped to achieve by doing that.
?"Okay, then. I trust you'll keep this a secret from the others?"
?Fletcher paled, stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wasn't in a position to disobey a prince's orders but he also wasn't in a position to keep information from the duke's son or the kings' guards.
?If he thought Fletcher would blab, he wouldn't kill the young man, but he'd have no choice but to cut his tongue out. If Fabian overheard a rumour that he was alive, he would be a dead man.
?"I am loyal to King William," Fletcher insisted.
?James hummed, looking him up and down. "That's good enough for me."
?Fletcher wouldn't discuss it with anyone as long as King William didn't bring it up among others.
It was as good as James could get without using violence.
Whilst Fletcher would be considered an 'innocent', James still loosely believed in the moral concept of self-defence. But, that no longer applied here.
?James grasped Fletcher by the shoulders and pushed him back towards the door, opening it for him and nudging him past the frame. "Now, if that's all you had to say, leave. The receptionist told me there are some public showers in this town and I'm tired of smelling like horse."
?Fletcher frowned. "But—"
?James closed the door in his face. James needed to be a stranger for a little while, so he wanted some time away from his acquaintances. If he didn't leave soon, Alex would return before he tried to leave and he doubted Alex would let him out of his sight.
?"I was going to say," Fletcher shouted through the wall, "Ino's bird is coming soon, so let me know if there's anything you want to tell her."
?James ignored him, stripping off his jacket and unravelling the material they had used to cover his arm. Although the scars would bring attention to himself, it also meant people would be less likely to bother him.
?He heard Fletcher's shoes tapping away down the corridor, leaving, but then murmurs suddenly rumbled on the other side. Two male voices, one Fletcher's. Something had caught James' attention.
?He remained still, listening with a cocked head. He heard Fletcher laughing with the man and then they moved through the corridor some more, two sets of distinct footsteps clacking against the noisy wood.
?That gait.
?James immediately opened the door, stepping out to catch the suspect.
?Riley and Fletcher looked at him strangely in the dim light.
?"Is Alex not back yet?" James heard himself ask, trying to cover his strange behaviour.
?Fletcher smiled uneasily. "No. Are you okay?"
?"Yeah, I just wanted to sneak out to shower alone."
?The best way to cover suspicion was to admit to something else and divert the attention away. But, James had been too sloppy. It was barely perceivable to human sight, but Riley's green eyes narrowed by a hair.
?He hadn't recognised Riley's gait until he'd heard the man walk on the wood, dirt didn't carry the same audible information. He wasn't entirely sure of it but it seemed that Riley was probably the man who'd watched him in the palace in the dark. Something didn't feel right about it.
?That man was fake and dangerous. James didn't know what his goals were and ignorance was a vulnerability.
?He needed to find out why Alex wanted him with the expedition, quickly. Otherwise, James would deal with the problem himself.
?Before Riley could catch wind of his bloodthirst by reading it on his face, he retreated back into his room.
?"You're coming with me after all, Eris," he told his sword, fastening her to his belt. He'd originally planned to go with a few knives but now he felt paranoid. It was the one instinct he would religiously listen to despite it being wrong so often. He hoped this was one of those incorrect times.
?James itched with the urge to torture him right then and there but Alex didn't do risky things for no reason. Riley was here for a reason and he didn't want to step on the other man's toes.
?He'd ask first.