XXXVIII
Many drinks through and James was finding it hard to focus his eyes, the already confusing world blurring around the edges. He held out another beer for Alex, trying to keep his hand steady as he teased it in front of the man.
"You seem like you're having fun," Alex hummed, sitting in the same seat he'd kept for the last half hour. Alex had claimed that the previous drink would be his last but James wasn't going to accept that so easily. He was owed a dance.
James grabbed Alex's hand and tried to cup it around the beer, but Alex pulled it away before he could.
"You're the one who told me to ply you with drinks," James huffed.
"That's because I thought you'd stay sober. One of us needs to stay alert."
James rolled his eyes. He'd had people seeking his bloodied head on a stake since his very first murder. If anyone knew their limits, it was him.
"Eris is sober. She'll let me know if something is off."
Alex narrowed his eyes in suspicion but finally took the cup for himself. "Are you sure it works like that?"
"Come on, drink already. She'll do us this favour."
James' heart pounded in anticipation once Alex gave in.
The locals were still dancing and singing around them, whipping up a fizzing excitement that James couldn't wait to be a part of.
But, he knew the crowd wouldn't have the energy to do it forever.
It was so loud he wondered if their other companions upstairs would be able to sleep.
Alex finished his beer in mere seconds, tapping his chest in discomfort. "Another."
James grinned and bowed, much to the amusement of the other man. "At your command, My Lordship."
The barmaid had a wry smile on her face when she saw him approaching yet again. He rapped his knuckles against the bar, drumming out his bouncy high.
"Another one so quick?" she asked, leaning in so he could hear.
James winked and held up two fingers. "My companion over there is a quick drinker."
She glanced over his shoulder in amusement. "For a big fella like that, you're going to need a lot more than two."
James gestured grandly to the barrels behind her. "Lucky for me, it seems you might just have enough."
She chuckled and poured him three.
By the time he'd managed to get back to Alex, all of the beers were missing volume, it had been a difficult task to balance them all in his tipsy state whilst navigating through the swaths of jumping drunken fools. James' hands were wet with spilled booze.
Alex had to hold his cup out to the side to let the spill drip away before he could move it over his lap.
"Where did you even get the money to buy all this?" Alex asked after finishing the first one.
James schooled his expression. "Your bag."
Alex glared at him but there was no heat behind it. "You arsehole. You said you weren't a thief."
"I lied."
A few more drinks through and Alex's body became a lot more languid and malleable, his smile much easier.
His neatness was becoming undone, his clothes rumpled, his curls falling over his forehead.
James felt a bang of regret, wishing he could see Alex through healthy eyes, and pick up the small details he otherwise couldn't notice.
Alex's cheer faltered after looking at him. "What's wrong?"
James blinked. "What makes you think something is wrong?"
Alex scrutinised him for a few seconds longer before giving up, probably not certain of his assessment. James' face felt normal to him, he was still smiling as he had been. He wasn't sure what Alex had seen on it.
Then, the people began chanting a familiar song.
"I know this one!" James exclaimed. He pulled Alex up by the arm, the other man allowing himself to be moved with a wry simper.
"My drink is going to spill."
James huffed, confiscating the cup from him and abandoning it on the table. "Forget about that, we have to dance to this one! I know the words!"
Alex humoured him, letting James drag him into the skipping crowd. The locals bounced and flailed, like chaotic waves of an unpredictable sea launching against rocks. They would knock into each other and rebound in random directions, moving where the gaps took them.
"I don't know how to dance to this!" Alex shouted.
"Look around you, Alex; the locals are too shit-faced to know either!"
James pulled Alex in, the other man stumbling into him over tangled legs and feet. James laughed, catching him, and wrapped his arms around him, enjoying the heavy warmth.
"Woah, there."
Alex tried to push away but was quickly shoved back into James again, knocked from behind, their chests pressing together. It was warm and bewitching, the smell of sun baked skin intoxicating.
"You keep falling for me," James joked.
Alex raised his eyebrows and then glanced around. "How am I supposed to do this dance then? The commoners won't care that we're two men?"
"I think they've got bigger issues going on in their lives, not that they're sober enough to notice." James remarked wryly. "Lots of friends dance together, anyway. We're not the only ones."
Alex gave him a suspicious glance, but didn't argue. "Show me."
James grabbed Alex's hands and held them in either of his own. Rough, but smoother than his burns. "Easy. In and out, then round and round."
It was difficult when they had very little space and everyone else was trying the same thing.
But, they made a good attempt at it. They stepped away, then pulled each other back in again.
They'd then let go and link elbows together facing opposite ways, turning on the spot, before changing direction.
Their success didn't last long, however.
James was in hysterics, with each movement he either pummelled into someone, got pummelled into, or tripped over. He was only on his feet by sheer density of people alone. A few times, Alex had to catch him and stop him from getting swept away and James often had to return the favour.
Alex wasn't finding it easy. The out-of-my-job-description discomfort on his face every time someone got shoved against him was a sight to cackle at.
He was a dignified noble, through and through, out of his depth among the unceremonious commoners.
James' chest ached from the uncontrollable fits of laughter, Alex didn't suit this place at all, he thought he might suffocate.
He began to sing along, bellowing the lyrics without much musical ability, unable to keep his tone even as he bounced around. Alex watched in bemusement as he sang the tale about a small young girl bargaining with a wolf not to eat her. She had a rock in her pocket and showed the wolf.
"The egg of a god, she exclaimed!" James yelled along. Alex smiled at his enthusiasm.
She promised the beast the meat of the divine, leading him to a wishing well where she'd found it. I see no god, the wolf had said. She told him to look closer. Tricked, he looked down, the claws at the edge.
"Bam!" the inn yelled. "Down the wishing well the wicked wolf went!"
Pushed by the little girl, the wolf fell in. Angry at her blasphemy, the gods cursed her. The next morning, she woke up covered in fur and big pointy ears. She fled to the forest, seeking the divine flesh of a god so she could turn back into a human one day.
"Are all commoner songs this weird?" Alex had asked in his ear.
James wrapped his arms around Alex's neck, leaning against him for support, their bodies stilling. Their faces were close, noses touching. He grinned. "They're fun, aren't they?"
"That's one way to put it." Alex's eyes darted from his eyes to his lips. His chest was rising and falling quickly, panting from dance. James wasn't sure if he was feeling Alex's quick pulse or his own.
He wanted to prod the embers. Without thinking too hard, he leaned in a pecked Alex on the lips, grinning mischievously as he pulled back.
Alex's hands were suddenly at his waist, gripping harshly. He liked the fire in Alex's eyes.
Suddenly, something cold hit them. James jumped back out of instinct, leaving Alex's grasp, but laughed once he had realised what had happened.
"Fuckin' hell! Bringing a drink to the floor, are ya stupid?" a woman complained loudly in a thick brogue.
A man stumbled, his cup empty, his mead on the floor and soaking a few people. Alex had got the brunt of it, his hair stringing and dripping onto his face, a displeased frown on his face.
James couldn't help it. It bubbled up over the edge, he cried out in laughter, unable to stop himself. Alex glared at him, which made it worse. He secured his hands on his knees as he leaned over, his body shaking, unable to catch his breath, lightheaded.
He was expecting Alex to be angry at him, but when he looked up again, Alex's lips had curved up, the humour of the situation reaching him.
"Oh my Gods, you're soaked."
Alex started laughing too, they leaned against each other unable to compose themselves. Some of the people nearby found the humour infectious, gawking at the sight in good cheer.
The drunken man tried to apologise, but James waved him off, unable to speak.
"You look ridiculous," Alex said, shaking his head with a large smile.
"Me? Look at you!"
Needing to get some fresh air before he passed out, he dragged Alex with him, pushing through the people.
He took some deep breaths once he got past the front door, much to the confusion of the people standing there.
The two of them must have looked bizarre, Alex with his wet hair and James with a large soaking patch on his cloak.
The thought made him giggle again, but he fought to get it under control.
"I feel gross," Alex complained, "ugh."
Alex ran a hand through his hair, a drop of moisture landing on James' face. It almost set him off again.
"Ah, I'm too drunk for this!" James exclaimed. "I smell like mead."
Alex shook his head at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Come on, Alex," Alex mocked. "Let's dance. Nothing will go wrong. Eris will protect us!"
James fought to keep his lips in a straight line. "I don't think flying mead was on her list of concerns." His voice wobbled.
Alex covered his mouth with his hand and looked away, his shoulders shaking. James took in a deep breath, any more laughter and he might faint.
"I am never dancing with you again," Alex groaned, then paused. "Shit... this is my only jacket! Oh, you bitch!"
James chuckled, running a hand over Alex's shoulders to check how wet it was.
"What are you two doing?" a wry voice asked.
James looked around but didn't see its origin. The floor slowly tilting, he had to reground his feet to stop himself from swaying to the ground.
"Up here."
Fletcher leaned out a window, his elbows resting on the sill. His hair was down, not in the half ponytail that usually was, the tips touching his shoulders. He was staring down at them with what James thought was amusement and confusion.
Alex tripped over a protruding rock, falling into James.
"Again?" James joked.
"Oh, Fletcher!" Alex waved, righting himself the best he could. "I thought you would be asleep by now."
As if the world was listening, the chanting restarted right that second, the locals inside the pub cheering along to yet another song.
"Oh, Gods. I'm going to laugh again, help." James covered his face with his hands.
His desperation made Alex snigger. He elbowed the man.
"Why are you both wet?" Fletcher asked, squinting at them.
"It's... mead." Alex put simply, unable to succinctly explain the events in his tipsy haze.
Fletcher nodded, unconvincingly. "Right, well, do you want me to get Thomas to help?"
James grimaced, he didn't want a third wheel. Fletcher must've thought they were idiots in need of a babysitter. "No, we're going to the showers!"
"Are we?" Alex asked.
"We are."
"Yes, we are," Alex told Fletcher. "No need to bother him."
Fletcher frowned. "You both seem quite... Are you sure you don't need some protection?"
James waved him off. "We have Eris!"
"Yeah, Eris has proven herself to be great at that," Alex sniped.
James gasped, in theatrical offence, staggering away like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Eris does not protect against flying booze, you silly silly man!"
Alex rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Cherry. Does she protect against stupid decisions?"
"Clearly not!" James yelled, smiling wide. He pulled at his wet garments and then flicked a wet lock of Alex's hair.
Then, he saw Thomas peering behind Fletcher.
"Fuck, shit! It's the fun thief! We have to run!" James dragged Alex by the arm, fleeing away from the inn before Thomas realised that it would be a sensible course of action to drag them up to bed. James was having way too much fun for it to end.
"He'll catch us," Alex warned.
"I am the most notorious assassin of the kingdom! No one catches me." He paused, remembering the numerous times he'd been captured or tortured, by knights and criminals alike, "... except when they do."
Alex snorted. "Right. Like me, for instance."
James glanced at him. "You got lucky."
"Yeah, lucky me to be stuck with you like a plague whilst I'm soaked in alcohol."
"Keep whinging about it and I'll ask someone for some matches." James made an explosion with his hand, spreading his fingers. "Fwoom."
"You scare me sometimes."
James shrugged. "It was supposed to be funny."
As they'd progressed down the path, it had become increasingly dark. The odd street lamp or light inside the odd house gave him some direction, but it was getting tricky.
He stopped in his tracks and sighed. "It's at the end of this road. You guide me."
"Huh, why?" he heard Alex ask.
"Because I'm blind."
Alex clearly didn't take the confession seriously and took James by the hand with a sigh, leading the way.
James couldn't feel anything, not the callouses on the other man's hand, nor the warmth of his skin.
Unable to stop his descending thoughts, he wondered whether Alex found his palms disgusting.
They were scabbed over, on top of a decade's worth of scar tissue.
His fingers twitched, he nearly let go but Alex held it tighter.
It couldn't have been a conscious decision, but it stopped James from letting go.
His chest felt fuzzy and sad at the same time.
"I'm sorry you got covered in mead," James said. He realised he'd dragged Alex along all night, not giving him the alone time he'd clearly wanted earlier.
He could see the outline of Alex's face as the man turned it to look at him. James couldn't make out the details, his eyes unfocused and blurring, viewing only a black and dark grey wash.
"You never apologise," Alex stated.
"I do."
"Not with words."
James didn't have anything to say to that. He averted his gaze, looking out into the black void of the world, hearing but not seeing the trees, the creaking of timber in people's homes.
He wanted his sight back.
A cool breeze brushed by them and he closed his eyes, breathing it in.
"You don't care?" Alex asked.
James opened them again, looking at the dark silhouette. He knew what Alex was asking, what he was worrying over.
"I don't believe in stereotyping people," James replied, "you'd never think I was a royal, would you?"
"Yeah, but..." there was a beat of silence, "this is different."
James nodded. Royals, although treated like Gods, were human. Slaves, though, might as well have been animals. They were livestock, bred for labour like horses.
"I won't lie," James began, "slaves make me uncomfortable. But, they're kind. They're human like anyone else."
He'd never seen slaves in the same way after witnessing that they'd ignore his thefts.
They'd understood him, in a way, even though their situations were different.
They were all humans trying their best to survive in an awful world and they'd empathised with him when he was a child.
No animal was capable of feeling that way.
"I'm not sure many people would agree with you," Alex murmured.
James smiled wanly. "Maybe not. But, they know it. Deep down, everyone knows it. People are scared of them and that's why they insist they're animals, it makes them easier to murder."
James sighed, he wasn't a person who had the moral greatness or piety to say such things.
But, he spoke anyway. "I think, if they all rose up and slaughtered their owners, I'd consider it justice.
I'd draw the line at killing civilians though— that's what they did in Edobury.
Whilst the commoners may benefit from slave labour, they don't facilitate it. "
Alex was silent for a moment, only their footsteps filling the air between them.
"Don't you think they allow it, though?" Alex asked quietly.
James wished he could've seen Alex's face, read the emotions on it, but he couldn't.
"Some do, yes. But, most people down here are just trying their best to survive, in their own way. Killing everyone in the kingdom wouldn't solve a damn thing."
Another gust of wind stroked by, earning only a quiet leafy rustle. It left as soon as it came, the air stilling and turning silent, stagnant.
"Sometimes I want to," Alex confessed.
James squeezed Alex's hand.
With a heavy heart, he thought about all the horrors he'd witnessed, all the stories his clients had told him.
His mentor's dead body played on his mind, left slumped and abandoned on a tree, as well as the palace maids strewn across the corridors, painting it red. They had saved him and they had died.
"Me too," he said.
Alex never replied.
He'd meant it.