Khearia's Sun

LXX

Mererid wailed over the body of her dead relative. She draped herself over and clung to the blanket that wrapped him, her shrieks muffled against his neck. Agony gushed out of her.

?It'd struck Alex heavily, hearing the sound of her cries savaging her throat.

?First, she had lost her brother. Now, she had been robbed of her dear cousin.

?It continued for an eternity. Alex fell cold, chest sinking. Slowly, it dawned, the permanence of it all. It was a tragedy that couldn't ever be undone.

?Alex shouldn't have let Riley sit at that table with the prince. They'd all known their friend was volatile. They should've kept him away.

?Alex would be haunted by her cries forever, knowing he could've prevented everything.

?Eventually, she'd been utterly drained of spirit, sitting slumped next to his body on the ground, unmoving, defeated. Her eyes were puffy and red, her soul emptied behind them. The duke had approached her, then. His arm wrapped around her in comfort, pressing a tender but firm kiss into her hair.

?Alex felt anger simmer below the surface.

?"Why did he do this to him?" she croaked. "What did he ever do? Why... does this happen?"

?"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," her father whispered, cupping her head.

?Not even the duke's disgraceful tears were enough to dampen Alex's ugly resentment.

?Alex had only seen it once; the duke had seen this scene before. The duke would've watched his poor daughter come undone once she'd believed her brother had died. The duke had watched that— consoled her— knowing Llwyd was alive and safe.

?When the pair separated, Alex was still waiting, lingering by the doorway. The duke hardly noticed him, wallowing past alone in his misery. Alex caught his elbow.

?"Lord Alexander, please. If you have any decency—"

?"You have to tell her."

?An unspoken retort flattened the duke's lips. He lowered his head.

?"She will hate me," he replied.

?"You deserve it."

?The duke walked away.

?Whether Duke Straton told Mererid the truth now, it would do nothing to reverse the pain he'd already inflicted on her, nor would it bring Riley back to life. Mererid had been tortured by her father and what that man had done to their family was unforgivable.

?Alex took a calming breath and cast one last look at Riley.

Evening had fallen upon them and its dying light pierced through the tall windows.

The white blanket that shielded Riley glowed orange, the shadows of the grilles cutting everything in the room in black.

He lay in the centre. Mererid's back was turned as she remained there.

An aimless and disjointed silence hung the shocked peace.

?Alex's eyes pricked.

?His legs dragged him away. His body was passing through thick water and the tide crept upward. It weighed him down.

?"Alex."

?He looked up. Thomas stood there, stoic and lifeless.

?"Harrison is here," Thomas told him.

?Alex nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

?Thomas had shoved those feelings down into the pit of his heart, cramming them away.

It was obvious, even if Thomas kept his face stern, that those emotions were leaking out against his will.

His shoulders were shaking, his fists clenched.

His comment was so quiet Alex almost thought he'd imagined it.

?"He's a fucking idiot."

?Alex breathed in deeply and gathered himself up, straightening his back, and strolled past, leaving his colleague behind.

?Alex wasn't sure if it was because he felt underwater but the villa was quiet... subdued. Dead.

?The playful dance of footsteps and giggles carried by the servants was nowhere to be heard. The guards didn't tease the maids as they walked past, nor did they laugh with each other. Everything in the villa had been soaked in a muffled heavy grey wash. The sky outside was colourless.

?Harrison was in the front hall, alone. The door behind him was open and the knights and the mercenaries were out there, conversing amongst themselves.

?"You're late," Alex said.

?Harrison's attempt at a smile was a grimace.

?Alex nodded. "I'm assuming you've been told?"

?"Thomas told me," Harrison confirmed. "I'm sorry."

?Alex peered through the door. He didn't see his brother.

?"Where's Colby?"

?"Can you lead me to him?" Harrison asked.

?Alex blinked in surprise. "To Riley?"

?"That's right."

?"Were you... close?"

?"Not at all."

?Alex shut his jaw against asking more unnecessary questions.

?"Follow me."

?He didn't have the energy to make small talk and Harrison didn't try prying it from him. Alex was grateful for that. It gave him a chance to peel the stone-cold facts away from the treshed whitewash of events. Harrison would want a summary but Alex could hardly determine fact from memory.

?It seemed his mind still hadn't quite caught up with what it'd seen, yet.

?Mererid was still in that room in the same position. Alex didn't want to disturb her. He remained in the corridor, hidden behind a wall.

?Harrison let out a long quiet breath, not crossing the boundary of the doorframe.

?"Who struck first?" he quietly asked.

?Alex palmed his eyes, staving off the pain that was beginning to pinch his head. The image carved up his mind as if he was watching it again.

?"Riley did."

?Harrison nodded. "Why?"

?"How much do you know?"

?"Nearly nothing," Harrison admitted. "Riley was a very private person."

?"You don't know why he hated Prince Maurice?"

?Harrison had a faraway gaze, his green eyes dulling. "He would never tell us. I could only make assumptions... But what would've been the point of that?"

?Alex felt useless. Riley had been through a lot but Alex knew so little about him that he didn't know what to say. If Llwyd was out there, somewhere, perhaps he would've known if Riley would've wanted people to know the truth.

?"He..." Alex bit his lip. "He had his reasons."

?"I'm sure," Harrison agreed. "He was a strong man, an honourable one."

?Alex turned his head away, biting down hard against a swell of grief that threatened to spill over, punishing it away. Alex could force this grief aside like he'd done for the others before Riley. He would revisit all of these feelings later, for all of them, once he was able to.

?"I shouldn't have let them interact. This was on me."

?"You'll poison yourself with those kinds of thoughts," Harrison was quick to caution him.

?The more Alex was plagued and haunted by this mistake, the less likely he'd ever make it again.

?"Sir Harrison."

?Alex hadn't noticed the duke return. He straightened his shoulders.

?Harrison shook his hand. "Nice to see you again, Duke Straton. I'm sorry it was under such circumstances."

?"Such is war, I suppose."

?The duke's forced nonchalance was stilted. He looked awful, unwell, his hair sticking out in random directions as he'd continuously run his hands through it.

?Alex found it difficult to muster any sympathy.

?"I'm going to be escorting you to Korcaster tomorrow," Harrison explained. "I assume you won't cause a fuss over this, despite what has happened. We'll need you to come with us."

?"You'd have to kill me to stop me," the duke spat.

He encroached into Harrison's space. Harrison didn't seem intimidated but he engaged with the threat seriously.

"I want you and King William to remember this favour I'm doing.

I want you to remember that I helped you despite everything.

I will be asking for favours in return. "

?Harrison didn't smile, exactly, but Alex thought he was holding on to one. "That can be arranged," he said.

?The duke nodded, curt, and strode to his daughter's side.

?"We have Queen Marigold in our custody," Alex came out with it.

?Harrison snapped his head around. "What?"

?Alex winced.

?"It's not good, I know. We didn't have a choice. She recognised James."

?"How did he react?" Harrison asked, urgently.

?"Demanded we threw her in prison. I, well, I allowed the order. As did the duke. We all have our names on this predicament."

?Harrison quickly calmed. "Did you know they'd been engaged as kids?"

?Alex squeezed every last drop of energy he had left into keeping his expression blank and unremarkable. Harrison was an actual snake, navigating politics by capturing others' weaknesses. It's how he became so useful to King William.

?"I know," Alex reported, steadily. "I believe James no longer harbours any feelings for her, however."

?Harrison considered this information, thinking it over. He was hard to read. Alex couldn't tell what he thought of it.

?Harrison stepped aside for the duke who gently dragged Mererid out of the room, keeping her in his arm and he whispered soothingly to her. She didn't lift her head, dried tears staining her cheeks red and sore. Her body was an empty shell.

?Their backs grew smaller as he led her away.

?"King William got permission for a locked hearing."

?"Great," Alex stated.

?Harrison looked around. "Where is Prince Julian?"

?"I don't know."

?"Why not?"

?The question was suspicious. Alex kept his face neutral.

?"He's very willful."

?Harrison's reaction was also strange. He didn't follow up on the issue where he normally would've. It was almost like the question had slipped out by mistake. It gave Alex an easy opportunity to change the topic.

?"I want to see my brother."

?Harrison openly hesitated. He didn't smother this reaction; this one was for display.

?"Alright," he finally allowed.

?When they passed by the front door again, Alex realised Harrison had doubled the number of men compared to the last time Alex had seen him. The additional men weren't mercenaries but Drykas soldiers. It released some tension. Alex could relax now that they weren't so severely under-manned.

?If Harrison had been here only a few hours earlier...

?Alex exiled the thought. It had already happened. He needed to focus.

?Colby wasn't outside with the other men. Harrison led him to a different room. Once they entered, Alex realised why.

?"Colby..."

?Colby's toothy grin was pained, his face swollen and blue.

He was stretched out on the ground like a tumbled ruin, laying on blood-stained material like the few other injured men in the infirmary.

Yufus was by his side along with another stranger, delicately tending to his more minor injuries with a damp cloth.

?"What's that face for?" his brother teased, his voice grinding in his chest, carried out on a wheeze.

?Yufus pressed his lips against a frown.

?"Colby, you're..."

?"It's just a few cuts," his brother strained himself to say. "You should've seen the other guy."

?Alex didn't laugh. There was nothing funny about this situation. His brother had almost been entirely stripped of his right side. A bandaged stump clamped to where his elbow should've been. His leg...

?His foot had been severed off and heavy gashes had been hacked into what remained of the limb, ripping into his flesh like it had been ravaged by claws. A different soldier was in the process of wrapping it, his fingers stained with blood.

?"Hey, Alex. Level with me... how bad does it look? I can't feel my toes, for some reason."

?"Shut up," Alex snapped, bristling. "You shut your mouth right this fucking instance! You could've died."

?Colby's forced cheeriness slipped down a notch, dimming. He wobbly attempted to regather it. "D- Don't be like that. Yufus is a finger short and he kept showing it off. You know I don't like to lose."

?Alex turned to Harrison. "What happened? Is this why you were late?"

?"We were ambushed," Harrison gravely replied. "We also lost some lives today."

?This was war. It was brutality without grace. Men wrecked each other, leaving many bodies in ruin.

?The kingdom had been peaceful for Alex's entire adulthood, he'd seen death, but never this often, not to his own.

?Alex's face became hot, his fists clenching.

?"Mercenaries?"

?"No. Khearian soldiers. They were unmarked, their allegiance obscured. We killed some but there was no way to tell who they'd belonged to."

?"I got two," Colby bragged.

?"If you'll excuse me. I must go see Fletcher." Harrison left them, stepping around the tending soldier.

?Alex examined Colby again, his face wrinkling grimly as he pulled the gory sight in. Colby was so competent, a genuinely difficult sparring partner. Alex had struggled against his older brother's sword his whole life. This had been the outcome of Colby's gift.

?"Reuben died," his brother said, blandly. His mood had darkened, the faux lightness falling.

?Alex deflated. "I'm sorry. Riley is dead, too."

?His brother averted his gaze, his jaw ticking as he clenched it. He needed a moment to compose himself.

?"I'm sorry," Colby croaked. "I know you wanted me to take over the duchy... I don't think that's going to be possible anymore."

?"It doesn't matter," Alex whispered. "You didn't want it in the first place."

?"But what about you?" he asked. "Dad is going to kill you this Kalou. I swear. I fucking know it."

?Alex glanced at the soldier attending his brother. It must've been the blood loss that was making Colby speak recklessly in front of strangers.

?"I've got myself another lifeline," Alex confessed.

?"Prince Julian?"

?Alex didn't scold his brother for the second grave mistake.

?"Worry about yourself, Colby. I'm going to be fine."

?Colby chuckled, it rattled against his ribs. His eyes were wide, his blinks long. He was in a state of delirium. "I'll be considered a hero, Alex. A hero. Life will be great." Moisture trailed down his temples.

?Alex smiled. "That's right. Mum will spoil you."

?"Too right. Women, wine and wealth. It's going to be peaceful..."

?Colby's eyes fluttered shut and a kick of panic hit Alex in the chest.

?"He's asleep," Yufus was quick to assure him. "He did that a few times."

?He tentatively relaxed. Colby wasn't beyond fatality yet and Alex was still shaken by Riley's murder. He'd forgotten how fragile life was.

?The soldier tending Colby's leg stood and scuttled away.

?"I'll come back later," Alex said.

?He stalked the soldier, watching every movement from a distance. The man finally left the infirmary. Alex followed. Then, he struck.

?Alex forced the man against the wall, holding him in place with his forearm pressed against his throat, a knife pointed into his stomach with his other hand. The man started panting, little scattered rabbit-like breaths.

?"My brother has lost a lot of blood," Alex said. "So he hasn't been making much sense."

?The soldier nodded enthusiastically, blinking excessively as his eyes sought for a witness. There were none.

?"If anyone else starts to believe this nonsense, I'll know exactly who told them." Alex pressed his arm tighter. "If you tell anyone, I will know. Do you understand?"

?"I understand," the man rushed. "I completely understand."

?Alex smiled but kept the other man pinned there for a few more seconds, staring into his frightened eyes. He saw his reflection in them, his own cruel expression. He let go.

?"King William doesn't like it when lies are spread," Alex added, putting his knife away. "If it wasn't me, it would be an army. Have a good evening."

?The man excused himself, rushing back into the infirmary to surround himself with people.

?It was a shoddy job but Alex only needed that man to stay quiet for a few more days.

?"That was cute."

?Alex's heart pounded out of his chest, startled by the voice.

?"I can't get used to you sneaking up on me," he complained.

?James shrugged. His footsteps were ever silent against the marble. He leaned his shoulder against the wall, distracted by something he was fiddling with in his hands. It caught the light.

?Alex took a small step towards him, peering into James' hands. It was a dagger. It had a black grip and a dark blade, but its spine was green.

?Alex quickly realised. "Is that Riley's relic?"

?"One of them," James said. "It was the activator, Nau. Prince Maurice took the other one."

?With sombre surprise, Alex gawked at it. Something was enticing about it. This relic was what had prompted Riley to leave Korcaster. Alex wanted to reach out and touch it.

?James held it out to him, seeing this. "Here, have a look."

?"I thought it was rude?"

?"It's not like it has an owner anymore." He wagged it. "Take it. It's harmless."

?Alex slowly wrapped his hand around its grip, jolting in surprise at its dragging weight. It was cold. As quick as the urge had come, it had lost all temptation. He felt... nothing. It was just another dagger.

?A trickle of viscous sadness pooled in him. This had been Riley's.

?"It can still read you, even if you can't read it," James explained, unaware of Alex's inner turmoil. "The bonds we have with relics are very one-sided. It can be lonely."

?Alex traced the flat side of the blade, frowning. Had Riley also felt lonely?

?He handed it back to James, his fingers lingering and brushing over its grip.

?"Are you going to keep it?"

?James cocked his head in thought. "Not for long, I think. Relics don't like being near other relics, they get tetchy. I'll only keep Nau for as long as I need it."

?Alex hadn't seen James since he'd stormed out of the dining room in an emotional swell. No matter how deeply Alex scrutinised, James seemed bland once again. The previous tension dissipated.

?Except, it would be wrong to call him apathetic. There was something a little bit harder about him.

?"Are you okay?" Alex hesitated to ask.

?James normally would've mocked such concern. He would find it insulting and toss back a snide comment. But, to Alex's surprise, James weighed the question with an uncharacteristic seriousness.

?"No," he decided. "I'm angry."

?Alex resisted the urge to fidget. James was changing. He was becoming loosely invested in the events around him, shedding his apathy. Alex didn't know if it was a thing to find frightening.

?"It's not your fault," James suddenly said.

?Alex was caught by surprise a second time.

?"I didn't think it was," Alex replied, matter of fact. "Riley snapped. Ultimately, he brought it on himself."

?James' eyes narrowed. He hadn't been fooled. But, such as their cypher went, James should pretend to be convinced. Because it was never about how believable a lie was, it had always been about its insistence, the mere statement of it.

?"Dishonesty doesn't suit you."

?Alex's eye twitched.

?"You're the one who encouraged me to be that way," Alex reminded him, lowly. "You told me to lie and disobey Duke Chamberlain. You told me to cross that line."

?Alex was vibrating under the skin, reared up, itching for the retort he knew James would have. He waited for it, anticipating it.

?James stared him down. Then, he bit something back.

?Alex was baffled. James didn't take accusations lying down; he always fought back, with unwarranted and excessive intensity. Alex quickly realised why.

?"You think I'm overreacting," he accused. "You manipulative little shit. You think this will calm me down! Am I not even worth a response?"

?"I don't think that," James calmly explained. "I just know you're looking for a fight with someone but that person isn't going to be me."

?"Why can't you just accept what I'm telling you? I do the same for you! What is this double standard?"

?"I doubted it because I care about you."

?"And how am I supposed to believe that?"

?James almost let the truth slip out. He snapped his mouth shut.

?Alex scoffed, stepping away, and rubbing his face in disbelief. His head panged in pain, a pressure building there.

?More troubled than his usual bland facade, James stared, not attacking nor surrendering.

That restrained civility wasn't like him.

His hair was pushed out of his beautifully sculpted face, its golden wildness rebelliously curled at the ends, pushing against the attempts of control.

Straightened shoulders, head held high, hands hidden behind his disciplined back; this wasn't him.

?"Why don't you just admit it, James?"

?Admit that he came back for Alex; that it was Alex's fault he was here. He needed to hear it; how his selfishness brought misery to others. It was Alex that had caged him in that skin.

?James sighed. "Alex, you're not productive when you're angry—"

?Alex rounded on him, shouting. "You're the one who wanted me to get angry in the first place!"

?Complicated thoughts and emotions fluttered on James' face.

?"I hadn't known at that time," James emphasised. "I didn't know."

?"You were the first person—" Alex's breath hitched, an uncomfortable tightness twisting in his chest. He tried again, calmer. "You were the first person who ever told me that my anger was justified."

?"Is it. I still believe that, but... You're brittle. Anger makes you mean. Not strong. I was wrong. It'll only hinder you."

?Hinder?

?Alex felt like he'd been winded.

?James had been the only person to consider Alex's passion— his anger, his hatred, his aspiration— in a society where all others expected him to kill those feelings and become a shell. Meek, was what they wanted him to be, just like every other slave.

?Alex was human, too.

?"That's not fair," he said quietly. "I deserve to be angry, as well."

?James slowly approached him. "Don't misunderstand me, Alex."

?"What is there to misunderstand?"

?James stroked his fingers along Alex's jaw and gently tilted his chin up. James' face was all he could see, red drawing his attention in, enticing him. Their faces were so close that it was impossible to look elsewhere.

?"You can be mean," James told him. His gold eyelashes fluttered, his sight following his thumb swiping across Alex's lips.

?James pushed it in, the pad of his thumb pressing against Alex's teeth. "It's okay to be mean when you're in a position that allows it," James said, smiling slightly. "You're just not in that place right now."

?Alex swallowed thickly. James palmed his cheek next, his scabbed burns grating against Alex's beard. The touch wasn't warm nor cold. Something began to tremble in him. He slowly gave in, leaning his head into James' hand. The feeling got stuck in his throat. James was scraping him raw.

?"You're saying it can be okay for me to be like that?"

?James smiled. It was outwardly tender. There was something a little darker in there.

?"You're kind enough to deserve the licence to be cruel," James claimed. "At the top, you'd answer to no one. Your anger could be the final word and no one could question it."

?Was such a thing okay?

?"You said it was a hindrance."

?James pressed their foreheads together. Alex was nearly melting into the touch, into the promises, getting dragged in. He couldn't keep resisting. He was being assaulted by them, by James.

?"Why does that matter when no one can challenge it?" James replied.

?Alex wanted to believe James, so desperately, despite the trap. He wanted to step into it willingly. Such a thought should terrify him but he was too blinded by hope. He was losing the precious will to care.

?Freedom wasn't a thing Alex believed existed anymore. James could never grant that. He could only grant Alex power and power seemed like it could give Alex the tools to achieve his safety.

?"You were being serious?"

?"Dead."

?Trusting James' sincerity was not the same as trusting his intentions. Alex knew exactly what James' motives were. The loop of rope that Alex's foot hovered over was gleaming. James had made no effort to hide his obsession.

?Why me?

?What was it about Alex that taunted James so severely?

?"Have you ever pledged an Oath of Fealty?" James asked him.

?Alex shook his head. He'd had no need for self-enslaving acts when he was already livestock.

?James grinned. It was long and slow and slightly sadistic. Alex shivered.

?"Is that what you want from me?"

?"That Oath isn't valid if it's asked for," James countered. "So, I won't ask. I was only curious."

?The migraine that squeezed Alex's skull and James' punishing crusade were making it hard to arrange thoughts neatly.

His mind was rasseled and disturbed, each path tripping over and falling into the next one.

He'd already given up on the idea of freedom, would it be so difficult to let go completely?

?The more the idea snagged on him, the less guilty Alex began to feel.

?James hummed, deep vibrations that could be felt in Alex's chest, their bodies pressed together. It jolted Alex back to reality. More accurately, James was pinning him. Alex's back touched the wall.

?"Doesn't seem like such a bad idea now, hm?" James rumbled, his shadowed smile menacing.

?Alex's tongue traced his lower lip nervously. James keenly watched the movement.

?"I suppose not," he heard himself reply.

?Sick delight. James liked that answer.

?James pushed through the remaining distance and hungrily captured Alex's lips, crushing their faces together and clamping his hand around his neck. Alex couldn't breathe.

?Nothing was tender about it; not like the shaky soulful kiss they'd exchanged the night James fled. This one was violent, vicious.

?Alex sucked in a sharp breath, pain piercing him as James sunk his teeth into his lower lip. James chuckled, continuing as he pleased.

?Perhaps if Alex had fled with him he would've gotten the other James; the one whose hands shook and had such a vulnerable and unsure gaze; the human one.

?Without having realised it at the time, Alex had already chosen the version he would get. His heart panged.

?Resentment threatened to take root but, when James pulled back, those feelings died immediately.

James thumbed his throat with a feathered touch.

Genuine happiness was loudly softening his face, his eyes warmed with what appeared to be awe.

Rather than violence, the firmness of James' touch now felt like he was holding something precious, carefully ensuring he didn't drop and smash Alex.

?Alex's pants shallowed, quickening in a staccato. His heart beat quickly.

?"You're so pretty," James expressed.

?Alex had been defeated.

?"Thank you," he whispered.

A/N - Current word count - 213,707