Chapter 16 #3
Hiding my nervous, wrecked state under a bright smile had become second nature to me.
Just like throwing a ball and flirting. This special set of skills wouldn’t help me get a full ride to college, but maybe it could help me out tonight.
I had no idea the last time so many knots had tied my stomach. So tight that my insides almost hurt.
Trying to look unaffected, I busied myself with the cuffs of my shirt as we waited for the girls to come back downstairs so we could go to Homecoming together, doing my best to avoid my brother’s heavy gaze, which I could feel through every layer of clothing on my body.
“You okay?” my brother asked.
I rubbed the column of my throat, pulling at my bowtie, trying to ease the tension coiling there.
I swallowed. Hard. “Yeah. Sure.”
“No offense, Mase, but you look like you’re gonna pass out. Do you need to sit down?”
I shook my head. “Huh, what?” My brain relayed his words. “No. All fine.”
He grimaced. “Tell it to your face.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. Ever thought about going onstage for your first one-man show?”
“I know you’ll be sitting in the first row, front and center, telling everyone we’re related.
” He dropped his head and scratched the hair at the back of his neck.
“What’s going on between you and Mel? I didn’t expect you to agree to accompany her tonight without us having to force your hand or beg. Anything you wanna talk about?”
I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my trousers and rubbed the sole of my shoe back and forth across the tiled floor. “Nah. Why?”
“Oh fuck.” His fist flew to his mouth. “I can’t believe I never saw it coming. For how long?”
I risked a glance at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“How long?” Craig repeated, his gaze piercing.
“Way too long…” I paused, sucking in a full breath of oxygen. “Five years. Happy?”
He moved into my personal space, his face level with mine, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Five years? Are you kidding me right now?”
I shook my head, shrugging at the same time. Some of the knots around my stomach loosened. It felt good to be honest for once. Until seconds ago, nobody knew about my secret crush.
“Wow. I had doubts a while ago, but considering the number of girls you have”—he lowered his voice—“hooked up with in the last year, I thought you were over her.”
“Nope, I wasn’t. Just trying to.” I avoided his eyes, still heavy on me. “Big difference.”
“Did it work?”
My head snapped in his direction, and my lips thinned. I clenched my fists in my pockets. “What do you think?”
“Mase. You dug a hole for yourself. I can’t wait to witness how you’ll get out of this one.”
We both remained silent for a full minute.
“Do you think she has feelings for you too? If she does, that’s a whole new level of fucked up.
Why would you ruin your chances…” He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Whoa. I’m both impressed and mad at you.
Like I wanna slap you behind the head for being stupid and hug you and scream ‘Finally.’ So?
Do you think this infatuation goes both ways? ”
“How would I know? The last time I asked her to be my girlfriend, she ran away and never talked to me again.”
“You were what? Eleven? Twelve?”
“And so?”
My brother rested his hand on my back, between the shoulder blades.
“You two were kids. It means nothing now. You called dibs on her in front of everyone. It was her first day at a new school, and she was so shy. Girls hated her from the get-go because they were jealous of your pseudo-relationship with her and guys hit on her just to screw with you. Imagine how she must have felt? I would have run away and never spoken to you too if you had done that to me.” He paused, closing in on me, and lowered his tone. “Do you love her?”
“Like a madman.” A chuckle passed his lips, and I elbowed him in the ribs. “It’s not even funny. What am I supposed to do? She probably thinks I’m a fuckboy or worse. She’ll never trust me with her heart.”
“Prove to her you’re willing to change. Be who you really are, instead of a jackass. Make her see that she can count on you. And that you’re over the bullshit you feed everyone else. If you’re honest and show her the real you, I have no doubt she’ll fall for you too…if she hasn’t already.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw how she—”
The girls’ voices reached us from the stairs, and Craig and I stepped away from each other.
“We’ll talk about it later,” he whispered. “Be on your best behavior tonight and earn some brownie points. That’s the only piece of advice I can give you. Blow it up and you may never get a chance.”
I bobbed my head, my attention fully on the girls making their way toward us. I held my breath at the sight of Melinda nearing me, a nervous smile playing on her lips. I reached for her hand and blanketed it with mine. There. In that moment, I felt whole and never wanted to let her go.
We said nothing as Paige’s mom joined us with a camera and took a dozen shots of us before we left.
Inside, I was a bomb about to explode. There was no way I could spend my night with Melinda Shepard in my arms and not go crazy by the time I drove her home.