Chapter 4 Ava
AVA
“Does this look like a penis?” my aunt Sylvia asks me, pointing to the design in the foam of her latte. I stifle a laugh.
“I think it’s supposed to be a mushroom.”
“No, that’s a penis,” she insists. “I know a penis when I see one.”
I point up to the sign: Happy Shrooms Coffee. A little smiling mushroom man holding up a mug. “See? I think it’s in reference to that.”
She looks over, grimaces, then shrugs. “I still think it’s a penis.”
I smile and take a sip, nearly burning my tongue on my coffee. Still too hot.
I love these little meetups with my aunt. She’s the one true friend I have, and the only family member who I can say without a doubt actually cares about me.
She may be my mom’s sister, but you’d never know by looking. Mom’s living her dream—spending Dad’s money and ignoring her only child. While Sylvia runs her own small farm and has three kids of her own that she adores.
“So how’s married life?” she asks, giving me the eye.
I groan. “Oh, you mean with my wonderful husband who loves and cares for me?”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she says, taking my hand. “Do you want me to kill him for you? I have a nice new pickaxe—”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, if you ever went to jail, I don’t know what I’d do.”
And that’s the truth. Sylvia is the only person I’ve ever had to rely on. To Dad, I’m just a negotiation tool. And to Mom, I don’t even exist. Just nine months of misery, that’s how she described being pregnant with me.
Sylvia’s marriage to her husband, Andy, is the only real example of a successful relationship I’ve ever seen. He’s nice—too nice, if you ask me. But it works for her, and that’s all that matters.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’m so attracted to Rick. There’s just no one else like him. He’s so masculine, so powerful, but not in a frightening way.
He ignites something inside me that I never knew existed. It’s like my soul is on fire when we’re playing our little game. But sometimes I wonder…
…Is what I’m doing okay?
“Sylvia, can I ask you something?”
She nods her head immediately. “Anything. You know that.”
I squirm in my seat, chewing my lower lip as I try to find the words. “Geez, you look nervous, hun. What is it? You kill someone? Your husband maybe?”
I laugh sheepishly. “I wish, but no. I just…have you ever felt ashamed of anything you’ve done?”
She frowns. “Ashamed? What do you mean?”
“I—I can’t go into details, but there’s something I do that…” I shake my head. “Wow, this is coming out wrong.”
“Are we talking about masturbation here?” Sylvia bluntly asks, causing me to burst out laughing.
“No!”
“Because that’s totally natural and okay.”
“I know that!” My cheeks are going red. I blow on my latte and take a sip, one that doesn’t burn my tongue. “But that’s not what I’m talking about…”
Sylvia scoots her chair around the table to get closer to me. “So what is it, sweetie? You know you can tell me anything.”
My mind goes back to last night’s…activities. Me wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels, running from Rick as he pretends to be my kidnapper. Then going home and up to my room…
I shake my head. “Never mind.”
I go back to my latte, but I can feel Sylvia’s eyes on me. She’s not letting this go. Of course she isn’t. And I love her for that.
“Listen, sweetie. If you don’t want to tell me what it is you’re worried about, that’s fine. But I can tell you this—don’t ever feel ashamed for doing something that makes you happy.” She smiles, warming my heart. “Just so long as you’re not hurting anybody.”
“Right.” I smile.
“Unless that person is your ‘husband’!”
Berry’s gone when I get home. Thank God. Returning to an empty home might make some women sad.
It just makes me feel free.
I text Rick on the way up to my room.
Hey, in a chasing mood tonight?
He doesn’t text back right away, which always makes me nervous. It shouldn’t. The man runs his own business. He’s busy. But I can’t stop myself from thinking that he might just never text back again.
So when my phone buzzes, my heart jumps.
If you’re sure you want me to.
I twist my lips and sigh. I know what he’s referring to: the fact that I slapped his hand away when he slid it up under my coat.
I must be driving him crazy. It’s been two months, and I still can’t give it up, yet he’s been there for me, ready to roleplay whenever I need him.
I’ve fantasized about him at night, brought myself to climax with his toy, yet I still haven’t been able to actually spread my legs for him and give him what he wants.
What’s wrong with me? I wouldn’t blame him if he said no. Told me to get lost and went and found himself another girl who was less of a hassle and actually put out.
Taking a deep breath, I text him back.
I’m sorry…
Slumping down on my bed, I curl up into a ball, bringing my knees to my chest. Tears are starting to fill my eyes when my phone buzzes again.
Don’t be. Tell me when and where ;)
My heart leaps, and I nearly vault out of bed as I jump with excitement. My fingers move with lightning speed as I text back.
9? You know the bridge near Mill Street?
He writes back instantly.
See you then. And be ready to run.
Mill Street, an old part of town filled with rundown buildings and vacant lots. Not the kind of place you want to be at night as a woman. But I guess that’s part of what turns me on.
As my heels click against the cracked concrete, I glance around the shadows, knowing that somewhere out there is Rick.
Watching, waiting for the right moment to burst out of the darkness and strike.
I haven’t even seen him yet and I’m already hot. Burning up with desire for my dream man.
I’m wearing a faux fur coat tonight. Berry may not care about me as a person, but he sure knows how to keep a closet stocked. And like the other night, I’m naked underneath.
The old bridge stretches ominously through the dark sky ahead, and as I approach, I hear the sound of young male voices.
Not good.
I’m just about to turn around when a group of four guys rounds the corner. They look like frat guys, wearing college sweatshirts and stumbling around like they’re drunk.
They spot me and instantly walk toward me. I turn, but they’re already on top of me.
“Whoa, look at this piece of ass, boys!”
“Is that fur? What are you doing down here in the slums, princess?”
“You think you’re Marilyn Monroe or something?”
My heartrate soars, beating painfully against my ribs as I turn and walk quickly away. I grab my cell and scroll quickly for Rick’s name to call him, but it’s too late.
A hand grabs my arm and yanks hard.
I find myself staring into a pair of hungry, bloodshot eyes, like the eyes of a rabid dog.
“Yo, get that bitch, Jenkins,” one of his friends snorts as he wolfs down a beer.
“Oh, I’ve got something for her—”
Without warning, my attacker goes flying. There’s a crunching sound, like bone breaking, and he groans in pain, spins wildly, and falls to the ground.
Rick stands in front of me, shielding me like an immovable wall. He glares at my attackers with fire in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” he hisses to me without turning.
“Y—yes,” I stammer.
“One second.”
In a flash, he lunges forward, fists flying. All I hear are groans, the sounds of knuckles meeting flesh, and bodies hitting the ground.
Rick drops them all, one after the other. The one who grabbed me reaches into his pocket and pulls out a knife, but Rick kicks it away and drives his boot into the man’s stomach.
“You never touch her!” he shouts, then turns to me and takes my hand. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
I’m soaring as he pulls me away from the scene. My legs move on their own, my heart pounds in my ears, and a smile lifts my lips with glee.
All I can think is that he saved me. I’m special.
I feel like a pillar of golden light, radiating out into space for everyone to see. My ‘husband’ back at home could care less about me, but this man puts his life on the line for me.
How did I get so lucky?
The next thing I know, I’m being lifted into his truck. He slides me across the bench seat and hops in beside me, starts the engine, and peels off.
His hand instantly finds my thigh and squeezes, as if to affirm that I’m safe. Protected.
“Slowly,” he says. I realize I’m gasping for air. “Breathe slowly, baby. You’re hyperventilating.”
His words take over, causing my body to obey. In less than a minute, my heartrate has slowed and my head is no longer spinning.
The truck slows, and he pulls over and parks somewhere in the darkness. It’s just the two of us now. Just as it should be.
I collapse into his lap, inhaling his musk and pawing all over his legs like a cat.
“You’re okay,” he says again, setting a heavy arm on me. “I’ve got you.”
His voice is soothing. The heat from his body and the strength I feel in him has my body tingling. I’m still riding high on adrenaline, but something else starts to happen as his hands find the hem of my coat.
I nuzzle harder into him as he lifts it and traces my ass with his rough fingers. Slow, deliberate, possessive movements that cause heat to pool between my thighs.
I was just attacked, and now I’m being turned on…
Shame begins to invade me, but then I remember my aunt’s advice, and I lean in to my urges.
My desire for Rick takes over.
This is it. This is the night I give myself to him.
His fingers move up my thighs, but slowly, cautiously.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” I whisper, gazing up at his fierce eyes and strong jaw. “You don’t have to be delicate with me. Not this time.”