20. Kira #2
Nikolai kissed me deeper, slower, like he had all night to convince me I belonged with him. “That’s it,” he whispered between kisses, "come out of hiding."
I couldn’t stop the way my body softened every time he showed interest in me. Every gentle stroke of his tongue made my resistance fade until I was needy and desperate for the comfort only he seemed to offer right now.
He pulled back and ran a hand through his hair as he stood.
I couldn’t look away as he pulled his shirt off, and the undershirt beneath it.
Then he undid his belt and zipper, shoving his pants down to a heap.
He was half swollen, eyes fueled with desire, but he moved slowly. Like he didn't want to scare me off.
When he climbed back onto the bed, carefully folding the covers back and sliding under them, I scooted back for him. His skin pressed against mine, making more heat rush through my system.
"I don't ever want you to think I don’t want you, Kira. I was a fool when this all started. I had no idea who you were or the treasure you are." He sighed, pressing a kiss to my forehead as his hand explored my curves. "I do want you. You're amazing and I've never met a woman like you."
His hands moved to the thin straps of my bra, sliding them down my shoulders with tender fingers. “Let me take this off,” he murmured. “I need to feel all of you against me.”
I arched my back without thinking and he reached behind me, unclasping it easily. The fabric slipped away as his warm palms covered my breasts.
“So perfect,” he breathed, leaning down to kiss me again.
His mouth claimed mine in another deep, drugging kiss while his fingers trailed lower, hooking into the waistband of my panties. “These too,” he whispered against my lips. “I want nothing between us.”
I lifted my hips and he slid the lace down my legs reverently, until I lay completely bare. We'd done this several times, but I had never felt so vulnerable as this time. When he leaned in to kiss me this time, it felt different. Like he was consuming me.
I kissed him back, my hands sliding up his back and he shifted closer, pulling the covers over us both as his body pressed against mine. I was scared and confused and still hurting from everything he had shown me, but I didn’t want him to stop.
He shifted us on the bed until I was on my back and he was hovering over me. His mouth found mine again while his hand slid down my stomach and over my mound.
"Spread your legs for me." His voice was rough but it sent heat straight through my core.
I did what he said and his hand moved between my thighs. His fingers found where I was already wet and he made a sound low in his throat that was pure satisfaction.
"You want this as much as I do." He slid one finger inside me and I grabbed the sheets. "Don't you?"
"Yes." The word came out breathless. "God, yes."
He added another finger and started moving them in a rhythm that had me rocking my hips against his hand. His thumb found my clit and circled it while his fingers worked inside me and the combination made my vision blur.
"Look at me." He leaned down so his face was inches from mine. "I want to see your face when you come."
I forced my eyes open and met his gaze while his fingers moved faster. The pressure built low in my belly and spread through my entire body until I couldn't think about anything except the way he was touching me.
"That's it." His thumb pressed harder against my clit. "Let go."
The orgasm hit me so hard I arched off the bed, groaning. He moved his fingers through it while watching my face with an intensity that should've made me uncomfortable but didn't. When the waves finally stopped he pulled his hand away and brought his fingers to his mouth.
"You taste even better than ever." He sucked them clean while maintaining eye contact.
"Mmm," I mewled, feeling drugged after all that emotion and now this.
"Turn over." He gripped my hip and guided me onto my stomach. "On your knees."
I pushed myself up until I was kneeling with my face pressed against the pillow and my ass in the air. His hands ran down my back and over my hips before gripping my thighs and spreading them wider.
"Perfect." One hand slid between my legs again and found me still sensitive from the first orgasm. "Absolutely fucking perfect."
I felt him position himself behind me and then he pushed inside slowly. The stretch made me gasp into the pillow and my fingers clawed at the sheets while he filled me completely.
"Fuck, you're tight." He held still for a moment letting me adjust. "Tell me if it's too much."
"It's not." I pushed back against him wanting more. "Move."
Nikolai pulled out almost completely before slamming back in and I moaned at the sensation started fucking me so hard the bed frame hit the wall with every thrust. One of his hands gripped my hip while the other slid up my back and tangled in my hair.
"You feel so good wrapped around me." He tugged my hair just hard enough to make me arch my back more. "You were made for this."
The angle had him hitting somewhere deep inside that made coherent thought impossible. All I could do was hold onto the sheets and take what he was giving me while sounds I didn't recognize pour out of my mouth.
His hand released my hair and slid around to my front where his fingers found my clit and started circling it in time with his thrusts. The dual sensation pushed me toward another edge faster than I thought possible. The pleasure was searing, almost making me blind with pleasure.
"Come for me again." His voice was strained like he was holding himself back. "I want to feel you come around me."
The words combined with what his fingers were doing sent me over. The second orgasm crashed through me even harder than the first and I screamed into the pillow while my entire body tensed. He thrusted through it until the waves started to subside.
"Good girl." Nikolai slowed his pace slightly but didn’t stop entirely. It was so good I didn't want him to. "So fucking good for me."
Then he pulled out and flipped me onto my back before I could process what was happening. Then he was pushing back inside from this new angle and I wrapped my legs around his waist instinctively.
"I want to see your face when I come." He braced himself on his forearms on either side of my head.
His hips moved faster now and I could tell he was close.
His jaw was tight and there was a sheen of sweat on his skin.
I reached up and pulled him down into a kiss that was all tongue and teeth while he pounded into me harder before his rhythm became erratic and his breathing got heavier.
I watched his face as he got closer to the edge.
There was something intimate about seeing him lose control.
"Oh, God, Kira." The way he said my name was so intimate.
He buried himself as deep as he could go and I felt him pulse inside me. His face contorted and his whole body went rigid before he collapsed on top of me breathing hard. My heart was pounding too, and I was breathless, but I felt relaxed now. Almost happy.
When he pulled out I felt him drain out of me, but the absence of his body inside mine felt worse than the inevitable mess. And he only pulled away long enough to get comfortable before dragging me back against his body.
I lay there quietly for a few minutes, catching my breath and trying to convince myself this wasn't a mistake, but the nausea came back in a slow wave that started in my stomach and crawled up into my throat.
My mouth flooded with saliva and I swallowed hard against it and pressed my hand to my stomach.
Bread would fix it. Or crackers. Something plain and dry to absorb whatever was sloshing around in there.
Anya's ginger tea would probably help too, even though I hated the taste of it.
But the kitchen was downstairs and asking for anything meant admitting that something was wrong, and I wasn't ready for that conversation yet.
Niko shifted beside me and propped himself up on his elbow looking down at me. His pupils were blown wide, and he looked concerned.
"You're pale," he said. "Are you alright?"
"My stomach." I kept my hand pressed flat against it as if it would hold down the vomit. "I just don't feel well."
He sighed and pressed his lips to my forehead firmly. Then pulled back. "I'll get Anya up," he said. "She can make you some toast and tea. That should help settle it."
"Niko, it's the middle of the night. You don't have to wake her." I reached for him, trying to get him to stop. If she told him exactly how many times my belly hadn't been well, he'd start to figure it out.
"She won't mind." He was already on his feet, pulling a pair of boxers on. "She's told me three times this week that you aren't eating enough. She'll be glad someone is finally letting her do something about it."
He crossed the room and pulled the door open, and then he looked back at me over his shoulder. "Stay in bed. I'll be right back."
The door closed behind him and his footsteps faded down the hallway and then down the stairs. I'd been running from this reality for two weeks or better, the realization that I was definitely pregnant. I just didn't know how to tell anyone.
My father would never care. Or if he did, it would be to shame me, and force me to abort. He'd never let me have Nikolai Dragonov's baby.
The real question was if Nikolai would even want it. He said he wanted me, but a baby changed things. And I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a mother. I never had a real mother to teach me how to be one.
Tears pricked my eyes as I turned over, lying on my other side so my back was to the door.
Nikolai's phone was right there, still unlocked, but for the first time since I got here, I didn't feel like escaping. I felt like hiding—from everyone. Because nowhere felt safe. Not when the enemy’s baby was inside me.