Chapter 19 – Wren
It happened again. We fucked.
I honestly hadn’t planned to let him hit it again, but everything happened so fast, and it was like I wasn’t in control of myself anymore. The argument had gotten so heated up, and I clearly pushed him a little off the edge.
Yes, he lost his temper at some point and snapped at me. Maybe I deserved it. But I wasn’t expecting the atmosphere to switch so quickly. Yet, it did. One minute I was furious—raging like an animal—and the next, I was horny as fuck, calm as the sea.
What the hell kind of effect was that?
It was understandable why we had sex the first time; I was already wet from craving him all day. But what happened earlier this morning was sudden and unexpected. I wasn’t wet, didn’t fantasize about fucking him; how could I when I’d just survived an attack on my life?
There was nothing sexual about my thoughts and the argument we had. However, for some bizarre reason, the moment he pushed me against the wall, all that anger went out the window. It was as though someone had poured cold water on my head.
That’s the magic of his touch.
His close proximity to me melted my reserve and left me completely at his mercy. My heart pounded like a drum, and I didn’t realize how much I wanted him until he was deep inside me.
The sex was great—rough and fast-paced, but great. We hadn’t said a word to each other since we finished hours ago. My own reason for not speaking to him was shame. I was so embarrassed by how easily he was able to seduce me without even trying, and so I avoided him.
About two hours ago, he stepped out of the room, probably to handle the situation with his right-hand man. The one he murdered with his bare hands. Shit. The gruesome images of Val drilling punches into Luka’s face came flashing in my head, reminding me of just what this man was capable of.
Luka had been his lieutenant for decades, and in just one night, that bond was broken.
You’re so selfish, one of the voices in my head said, sharp and accusing. You only think and care about yourself. What about him? How do you think he feels being betrayed by the one person he trusted the most in the world?
As annoying as that voice was, it was right—I hadn’t taken the time to see things from his own perspective. This man literally killed the closest thing he had to a best friend just to save my life.
For the very first time, I put myself in his shoes, daring to imagine what he must be going through. I’d be falling apart right now if I were him; the pain of a friend’s betrayal would cut so deep it would leave me broken.
But he’s a monster, and monsters have no emotions, said another voice.
I didn’t really believe that because, despite my anger and frustration, I knew deep down that he was still human. His conscience wasn’t entirely dead. He was just a man at the end of the day, one who’d had to make the toughest decisions all his life.
He seemed calm and collected on the outside, but honestly, I couldn’t help but think it was just an act. On the inside, his world was probably crumbling to the ground. No one could walk away from what happened to him unfazed or unaffected.
It had never been clearer to me why people like him were cold as ice.
Violence, betrayal, and pain were the key factors that shaped their reality and perception of life.
I now understood how monsters were born.
Maybe if what happened to him had happened to me, I probably wouldn’t be the woman that I was today.
Just the other day, I tried to convince him that there was a shred of humanity left in him. But if I continued on this path, my actions might end up making things worse. Yes, I was pissed about how badly my life sucked; however, I wasn’t the only one. His situation was as bad as mine.
I got out of bed, had a shower, and changed into some fresh clothes. At first, I was afraid to leave the room, and so I sat down on a couch, waiting for his return.
Hours passed, and he still hadn’t come back. I paced back and forth, absently chewing on my nails as my heart pounded in my chest. Every now and then, my gaze would dart to the wall clock. It was almost midday, and he’d yet to return.
Go find him, a voice whispered in my head.
I expected another to oppose the motion, maybe that pesky little voice of fear. But what followed was silence. It was like everything inside me wanted me to leave this room and find out what’s going on.
For the first time in a really long time, I was willing to listen to that voice of fear, but it didn’t speak. I paced in the middle of the room, watching the door with a racing pulse.
Go find him, the voice came again.
I drew a deep breath, swallowed hard, and then walked toward the door.
It took me more than a few seconds to finally grab the handle and open it slowly.
As I glanced out into the hallway, images of my attempted escape came flashing in my head.
I didn’t mean to, but I recalled the intense struggle with Luka and that slap that almost blinded me.
It was the trauma from last night.
I shook my head, refusing to let those images settle. That fight was over, and it had no hold over me. Luka was gone, and he couldn’t hurt me anymore. With that, I walked out of the bedroom and headed to his study.
Just as I raised my hand to knock, I heard his muffled voice from the inside, calm but menacing. It sounded like he was giving orders, and although I couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying, a sentence stood out.
“Tell them I’m done. And they can go fuck themselves.” His voice was laced with sheer anger.
I tried to turn back, thinking this wasn’t the right time, but on second thought, I damned the consequences. “Fuck it,” I murmured, knocked twice, and then pushed the door open.
Val was standing in front of his desk when I walked in. He froze when he saw me, like he wasn’t expecting anyone. We locked eyes for a moment, drowning in the awkward silence that stretched on forever.
His expression was unreadable, but something was off—though I wasn’t entirely sure what it was. He seemed colder than usual, and this wasn’t just anger; it was also laced with something that seemed a whole lot like pain. The unspoken kind of pain, the unexpressed.
My eyes dropped to his hand, where he squeezed the phone tightly in his grip. His chest was heaving subtly, his jaw clenched, and a dark expression settled on his face. A turmoil was brewing on the inside—I could tell.
Quietly, I closed the door behind me, locked it, and stepped forward, my footsteps slow and cautious. I looked right at him, palms rubbing my arms as I drew nearer.
“Look, Wren, I have a lot on my mind right now; I cannot fight with you.” He lowered his head, fingers rubbing his eyeballs.
Ouch. That didn’t hurt at all. Didn’t realize I was such a troublemaker.
“I’m not here to fight,” I said, my voice calm and gentle.
He raised his head again, a glint of shock and suspicion flickering in his gaze.
I drew a deep breath, hesitating before him, my eyes searching his depths for answers to the questions I was yet to ask. “How are you?”
His expression softened by a whisper and then hardened again in less than a second. Maybe my question and the concern in my tone had shifted something in him. Maybe he never expected me to ask him that.
He bit down on the inside of his mouth. “What am I supposed to say? Fine?” He scoffed, walking round to the other side of his desk.
“That would be a default reply,” I said, “but I’m genuinely asking how you are.”
He chuckled lightly. “That’s a first. So, what, you suddenly care about my feelings?” The sarcasm in his tone couldn’t be any more obvious.
“Val, I’m trying here,” I said, my voice low but defensive.
He paused, brows yanked up in disbelief, his gaze unwavering. “Ironic, isn’t it? You want me to see that you’re trying when you never saw me doing it.”
Harsh, but true.
“Can we not fight?” I said softly, pleading with my eyes. “I just wanna know what’s going on—I wanna know how you’re holding up.”
He wiped a palm over his face, fingers absently drumming on the table. Val hesitated, as if thinking for a while. He met my gaze again and said, “Sit down.”
My heart skipped a beat, already afraid of what he would say to me. Was I strong enough to handle this conversation—whatever it might be?
I sat in the visitor’s chair, hands on my lap as I watched him sink into his leather armchair on the other side of the desk.
“I’m a traitor now,” he blurted out, going straight to the point.
“What?” My heart stopped for a moment, eyebrows rising in shock.
“At least that’s what the Bratva’s labeled me.”
My brain went blank immediately, and I shifted in my chair, uncomfortable by the news. “Wait a minute. I’m confused. Is it because of Luka? Because last time I checked, he was the traitor, not you.” The words tumbled out of my mouth in a frantic rush.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that.”
“Well…” I gestured with my hands, “uncomplicate it. Make it make sense to me.”
He looked at me in silence, as if saying, Calm the fuck down.
I exhaled softly and braced myself for his explanation.
“The council of elders that attempted to decide your fate has decided mine,” he said.
Those mean-faced old bastards! My hatred for them just doubled right now.
“Elder Akim wanted you dead or sold off to the highest bidder. He claimed you were trouble and that your presence around me painted a bad picture of our organization.”
My fingers clutched the fabric of my baggy jeans, my jaw tightening at his words. What the hell did the so-called Akim mean by that? I was the victim in this situation, but in his book, I was the troublemaker?
Val continued, “Akim wanted me to get rid of you because he had another woman in mind for me to marry.” He paused, letting the words sink in first. “And when I refused to play his game—when I decided to take you as my wife—he was pissed.”
“But that’s not fair. You’re a grown man, and you should make your own choices,” I said.
“Akim’s marriage proposal was supposed to build an alliance between the Bratva and another organization,” he explained, his voice still as calm as always. “I’m labeled a traitor because I put myself before the Bratva, and the Bratva always comes first.”
“Bullshit.” I leaned in, hands on the table, as I looked into his eyes. “You weren’t created to do the Bratva’s bidding for the rest of your life. You were created to be in control…not to be controlled.”
His brows drew together as though he saw the sense in what I just said.
“Is that enough reason to label you a traitor?” I asked.
“I killed Luka.”
“Hello, he was trying to kill me,” I said, reminding him in case he forgot.
“He was doing the Bratva’s bidding.”
My lips parted—shaped like an O as it dawned on me that the Bratva wanted me dead. Fuck. That wasn’t good at all.
“More than half the council of elders have agreed to brand my action as treason.”
My heart sank into my stomach, realizing the gravity of this mess. Treason in every organization was a grievous crime, and considering how deadly these guys were, I could only imagine the punishment for it.
He did this for me. He turned against his own just to save my life. Now, we were both in trouble; both our lives were at risk.
Touched by his sacrifice, I asked, my voice calm and gentle, “Why?”
No response, just his stare.
“Why me? I mean, I’ve been such a pain in your ass and have given you multiple reasons to kill me. Yet you didn’t. Instead, you turned against your kind.”
“They turned against me first,” he answered, his tone stern and unapologetic. “They touched what’s mine. No one gets to do that. No one. I don’t care who they are; any enemy of yours is an enemy of mine.”
His words sparked a mixture of emotions within me, and I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or concerned.
Was I owned or protected by him? This choice of his, was it born out of obsession, guilt, or maybe even something else? Did he feel so guilty for ruining my life, and he’s doing everything in his power to at least preserve what’s left of it?
What exactly was the reason behind this rash decision to turn against his people?
As confused as I was, the fire in his eyes was unmistakable; the man’s mind was made up, and he had made his choice. Me.
My breath hitched in my throat, and I knew now that I wasn’t just a pawn in a game I didn’t understand. I was the reason a man like him broke ranks.
As grateful as I was, deep down, I was just as terrified. This was uncharted territory for both of us. Alone. Hunted.
I thought things couldn’t get any worse. But clearly, I was wrong. Things had spiraled out of control, and our chances of survival were significantly lower.
Great. Just great!