Chapter 32 Elle #3
The last of the sun bleeds out over the trees when I slip outside for air. The woods behind the safe house feel thick around me, the chill sinking through my dress and brushing against my bare hand where my lace mask hangs from my fingers.
I close my eyes for a while, listening to the distant call of the crows and the rustle of wind over dead leaves.
I can’t believe how fast time has passed.
It was early August when Sterling saved me.
It’s late October now. And the wind carries the scent of the rain that’s halted, letting me breathe in the fresh breeze.
Soft footsteps draw closer from behind me. I turn and Lix is there. He hesitates like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to come closer. I smile to show him that he can. Of course he can.
Sterling watches from the porch. His presence is quiet at the edge of my awareness, steady as his heartbeat. He doesn’t move to interrupt. He trusts me. He trusts Lix.
I take a step toward my brother. Lix breathes in and closes the rest of the distance.
We stand there in the growing dark, brother and sister back together by stubborn hope, even though there’s so much I still don’t know, so much we might still lose tonight.
Lix shuffles his feet, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “You remember much?”
I shake my head. “Bits and pieces.”
His mouth tilts, not quite a smile. “I remember a lot. Not everything but enough. I’ve been sober since September, so a lot’s been coming back to mind.”
He looks up toward the sky, where the last light hangs heavy across the clouds.
“What I can’t remember is…our real names,” he says.
I wrap my arms around myself as if to ward off the hollow spaces of my memory. Inside my mind, two names hover, but they’re out of my reach.
Lix glances at me again, guilt clear on his face. “You gave yourself up,” he says unsteadily. “You—”
He sucks in a sharp breath. I hold out my hand and he takes it.
With my small nod, he continues, “You told her you’d do whatever she wanted. You made yourself her puppet, so I could get out.”
“I don’t remember that,” I whisper, breath caught. “I didn’t know.”
“I wasn’t supposed to either,” he says, almost a whisper too. “You didn’t want me to know. You wanted me to have a shot at a decent life. After the hell our parents put us through, you told me to live.”
I blink against the burn in my eyes, the cold air biting at the wetness gathering there.
“I swear to you, I tried,” Lix says, sounding broken. “Tried to stay gone. Tried to live like you wanted me to. But—” He drags his other hand over his face. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How I left you behind.”
My thumb brushes his knuckles. He breathes in deeply.
“So I went back,” he says. “I found her. Begged her to let you go. Told her I’d trade places with you. Be whatever she needed if it meant you could be free.”
My heart thuds painfully in my chest.
“But you were already in too deep apparently,” Lix says. “The Kys. The programming. She told me pulling you out would break you worse than keeping you under. I should’ve known that was a lie.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment, feeling the weight of his words.
“So she made a new deal. You’d get privileges, protection, a softer leash.” His mouth twists bitterly. “And I’d be her gun.”
I watch him, seeing the guilt etch deep across his face.
“I took Kys too,” he admits. “Sometimes. Not a lot, only enough to forget. Enough to make the things she made me do feel…far away. But ever since Stan pulled me out, I’ve stayed clean. I want to remember everything. Especially you.”
Wind slips through the trees. Leaves scatter at our feet.
I don’t say anything. But I step forward and hug him again.
He holds on. His body trembles once, then stills.
We’re here. We’re alive. And even if the past is shattered by someone else’s hands, the future still belongs to us.
I want to say as much, but my throat feels too tight to speak.
And Lix is stepping back to meet my eyes, his hands steady on my shoulders like he’s bracing both of us.
“Whatever happens tonight,” he says, “I’ll make sure she pays. For what she did to you. For what she did to both of us.”
The air between us feels thick, full of everything we lost and everything we’re still fighting for. I search his face. His jaw’s set with quiet defiance, his eyes lit with a promise he won’t break.
“Clo doesn’t know about this place,” he says quietly. “I was the only one who had access to your real tracker. But when she was close to searching this area, I had to make you and Sterling move.”
My breath catches. My gaze shifts to a shimmer to the side of his face. The dying sun pointing toward the earring he’s wearing, only visible now with the heavy wind passing through us.
His gaze flickers to mine again. “You’re staring at my stud.”
He smiles, looking like the little brother from my memories.
“You put this on me,” he says. “Pierced my ear and everything with nothing but a hot stitching needle. Our parents didn’t want me to. I was thirteen. But you were this fierce fifteen-year-old who decided rules didn’t apply if they got in the way of who I wanted to be.”
Those memories don’t surface for me, not fully. But the way he says it, the way his voice dips with awe, it lodges deep in my ribs.
“I remember you holding up a mirror afterward, letting me see it. Never felt so badass in my life. Not even when I’d ride my bike with you on my back.” His smile falters. “But our parents saw the stud…”
His words trail off like ash on wind.
“Do you remember any of that?”
I shake my head. Regret prickles behind my ribs.
Lix frowns but nods. “Probably better that way.”
I look down at his hand tightening around mine. Silence expands between us as he slowly slips his hand out of mine.
He clenches his hands. “Every day for three years, all I did was look for a way back to you. And it wasn’t until I showed Clo I could be useful that she let me in. Made me into this…whatever I am now.”
“You’re still you,” I whisper.
Lix exhales shakily. “After tonight, you’ll get your life back.”
The promise warms my chest. “I can start remembering everything about us.”
His eyes soften at my small smile. “Yeah, you will.”
I part my lips, though I’m not sure what I can even say.
He interrupts me by grabbing my hand so tightly that the tips of my fingers become numb quite quickly. “You always looked out for me when I couldn’t,” he says. “Let me return the favor.”
I blink against the sting in my eyes. Lix glances past me, toward the porch, where Sterling waits out of earshot.
Lix looks back at me. “Are you happy?” he asks, quiet. “Does he treat you right?”
“I am,” I say softly. “He does.”
Lix breathes out with relief. “Good. You deserve that. You lived through four years of her hell. I barely lasted thirteen months.”
Amicable silence fills the space as evening comes fast. The sun sets lower, painting the sky in a bruised purple. Lix squeezes my hand. Then someone else steps into the space.
Sterling. I feel him before I see him. Lix notices too. He glances toward Sterling and smiles. Then he turns and walks back toward the safe house. I watch my brother retreat.
Sterling stands by my side, his arm brushing mine. His hand rubs my back. “You okay?” he asks.
I nod, leaning on him. For a few long seconds, we stand there, watching the sky turn. We have a plan. We have each other. We have a chance. For a few heartbeats, we simply stand there, watching the last fire bleed out of the sky, letting the weight of what’s coming settle over us.
When Damon rallies us, Sterling walks me to his car. He opens the door for me without a word. I slide into the passenger seat, the leather cool against my skin. I stare through the windshield as Sterling sits behind the wheel.
The last rays of sunlight spill across the dashboard, painting him in molten gold. For a moment, it feels like the world is holding its breath with us. Then we drive off.
Ahead of us, Stan’s red sports car rumbles. Through its back window, I spot Kaye laughing while Damon tackles her down into the backseat. Stan throws an arm up in protest.
Sterling sighs heavily beside me. The sound is equal parts exasperated and fond. I turn toward him, and the corners of my mouth pull into a smile without even trying. It’s impossible not to love them all in moments like this with their wild hearts on their sleeves.
Sterling catches me smiling and gives a reluctant smile back, the kind he only ever shows me.
Beside us, Lix’s bike roars to life and tears down the road in a blur of black and silver, fast and fearless like a bullet come to life.
Sterling shifts the car into gear, and we follow. The sun sinks lower, pulling the warmth from the sky. The road stretches out before us, smooth and endless, as if it’s daring us to chase it all the way into the unknown.
Without looking, Sterling reaches for my hand, the touch casual but certain. I thread my fingers through his, grounding myself. His thumb brushes over my knuckles, and for a moment, everything fades into the background.
The future feels fragile, poised on a knife’s edge. But here, in this moment, with Sterling beside me and our family racing ahead into the gathering dark, I know we’re ready to face whatever waits in the shadows.