Chapter 10
KILLA
Emptiness takes over me, much like the experience of being told my sister is presumed dead. Only, this time, it feels worse. I’m mourning the loss of a child I never knew, a young woman who I hold in my arms despite not knowing the path which delivered her to me.
“She was taken on her way to school.” Hunter speaks, and I listen intently.
“Snatched. Her school rucksack, books, and some photos or other were left behind.” He waves around nonchalantly, as if the photos mean nothing, and that pisses me off.
I know Cass, and those items would have meant the damn world to her.
All her belongings would have, because she barely has any.
“No sightings. Nothing. Her mom was informed she hadn’t arrived at school later that afternoon. ”
“Who took her?” Raider asks, and my heart leaps in my chest.
Hunter glances away before his gaze lands back on mine. “Benjamin.”
I choke on thin air. That bastard took a little girl from her mama.
She was a little girl, for Christ’s sake.
My blood stops flowing, my heart stops beating, and I feel the color drain from me. It’s quickly followed by a surge of red haze that causes my head to throb.
“The fuck?” I bellow.
Hunter nods.
“I thought he was her brother?” Slash asks lowly, and I glance from him to Hunter, but deep inside, I knew that was bullshit too. There’s more to this, so much more. We’ve been fed total and pure bullshit; I just don’t understand why. But something tells me I’m about to find out.
“It was a cover-up,” Savage states.
Hunter ruffles his hair. “Gavin Warriner is her liaison officer.”
“What?” I search his face for more answers. None of this is making any sense to me.
“He’s not the enemy, Killa,” he bites out. “Gavin isn’t Noah’s father.” His focus on me is full of intensity, willing me to catch on. “Benjamin is.”
Oh, Jesus, I accused her of lying.
She was an abused kid, and I wanted to hurt her.
I tied her to a fucking radiator and left her after she trusted me.
“The fuck!” I push out of my chair, sending it toppling over for a second time.
Then I pace the room. Back and forth. Back and forth.
My hands curl into fists and uncurl, and I grind my jaw back and forth.
“You mean to tell me, that piece of shit kidnapped a kid, and what?” I snarl.
I stop my stride, and a deep-seated realization hits me, then I turn to face Hunter.
“H-He…?” I can’t swallow, the lump in my throat forbids it.
Another chair slamming back to the floor grabs my attention, and Slash is now leaning over the table. “He fuckin’ raped her? Hurt a kid?”
“Yeah, he did,” Hunter says solemnly.
I fix my gaze on the laptop, and her smile is reaching out to me through the image on the screen. It sends a wave of indescribable emotion coursing through my body, inflicting the worst damage possible. Wrecking a portion of me little by little.
“She was fourteen when she gave birth to Noah. Thirteen when she got pregnant with him.”
Venom sucks in a sharp breath. “Jesus.”
The atmosphere in the room has taken a drastic turn.
If I thought news of Alisha was bad, then this is the shit nobody talks about.
Ever. It’s the underbelly of society, and like the cowards we all are, we shy away from it.
But my girl wasn’t given a choice; she quite literally lived it.
No, she survived it, with her boy. My Noah.
Morgue lifts my chair back into position and nods at it, so I throw myself onto it again and slam my elbows on the table, burying my head in my hands.
After what feels like a lifetime, I lift my head. “How the fuck did this all happen?”
Hunter clicks some buttons on the keyboard, and the sound of a woman sniffling has me lifting my head, and fuck, does it hurt.
I instantly see the resemblance of the woman on the screen to my girl; I don’t need the confirmation of who she is, I already know.
It’s obvious, and the anguish in her eyes is enough to bring grown men to their knees.
She’s being interviewed by news reporters.
There’s a haunting look in her eyes; she looks completely devastated, terrified, and broken.
“It’s been a little over a year since Hayley disappeared on her way to school, and the authorities say they’re no further along with leads. What’s your opinion on that, Mrs. Jones?” the reporter asks.
“Jesus. A fucking year!” Slash chimes in, earning him a glare from Venom.
“P-Please. I just want my little girl back,” her mom begs, and I swallow thickly, my eyes filling with unshed tears for her. Each one that slips down her cheek is carving a path on what’s left of my tattered heart.
She must have known after a year that she wasn’t getting her little girl back.
“She was possibly pregnant by now,” Raider states. “Poor fuckin’ kid.”
Bile infiltrates my bloodstream. How can anyone do that to a child? A little girl.
“I just want her home safe. Her c-cat, Lulu, is waiting for her. She sleeps on her bed.” Her mom clings to a pink bunny, and it tears my heart apart. She swallows. “Every night, Lulu waits for her.”
Jesus, my gut twists with the pain of invisible knives being forced into it.
Hunter pauses the video. “Nothing more, just a dozen of news reports over the years.”
“How’d they find her?” Morgue asks.
Why didn’t I think to ask that question?
Hunter glances at Raider. “The lead that came from the Mafia, that led them to finding Benjamin, ultimately led to Cassidy and Noah being discovered too.”
Thank fuck.
Who would have known the day we received the tip-off from the Mafia what chain of events would come from it.
“Her mom passed away before she got to see her again,” I whisper, the realization so utterly cruel. I know how much that destroyed my girl too. My poor, innocent girl.
Hunter shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah.”
“Poor fuckin’ woman,” Venom says, which is probably what we’re all thinking.
Raider turns to Hunter. “So how old is Cassidy, really?”
I hold my breath. During all this shit, I never once figured out her age. Nope, I’m still stuck on the fact my girl was splashed on a missing persons poster as a kid.
“She’s almost twenty.”
I blow out a deep breath, but it does nothing to tamper the feeling of guilt inside me, given that I’m thirty-fucking-three. Though it makes me feel better that she’s almost twenty, it really makes my stomach churn knowing how badly I’ve treated her. “Shoulda known somethin’ wasn’t right,” I say.
There have been signs there all along, and I ignored each of them. Too lost in my self-imposed hate campaign to care about her truth.
Not anymore. Now she comes first—her and Noah.
Venom scoffs. “You did know something wasn’t right.” Then he throws his arm out toward the laptop. “No fucker thought this.”
My nostrils flare, and I slice my gaze to his.
“I’ve been fucking her, Venom.” The fury in my eyes makes him shrink back.
“She’s been raped, abused, used her entire life, and I’ve fuckin’ hated her.
She was a little girl, and someone abused her, and I’ve treated her like utter shit.
” My voice gets louder on each word. “Hate-fucked her!”
The guys grimace, knowing how rough we all can be and what I’m referring to.
“We would’ve all done the same thing,” Raider says, as if that makes it all okay.
“I wouldn’t,” Morgue mumbles, and we all roll our eyes. “Just fuckin’ saying.” He shrugs, and I wish he would’ve kept his big mouth shut—he doesn’t normally have such a problem with that.
A girl with trauma like that needs to be dealt with differently, they need tenderness—something I don’t think I’m truly capable of.
Bile rises in my throat for the hundredth time today, and sweat coats my skin. The guilt boils beneath the surface, threatening to erupt at any time.
“She didn’t deserve any of that.” Doesn’t deserve how I’ve been treating her. Not at all.
She was a victim, and I made her a target.
“You didn’t know, Killa,” Raider says.
“S-She has scars.” The pain behind the realization has my eyes falling closed, and a vision of her handcuffed to the radiator blends in with the image of her on the laptop.
Then I drag a finger over my lips and consider the way she reacted to my shitty actions.
“I think he cuffed her or something.” I wince, and the guys stiffen around me.
“She freaked the fuck out one time.” Ducking my head with shame, a lone tear slips down my face, but I make no move to brush it away.
I feel completely immobile. “There’s so many things.
” I exhale through pursed lips. “She was hiding shit, and I thought it had to do with Alisha.” I sniffle, trying to hold back the sob threatening to erupt.
“I thought it had to do with Alisha.” My voice rises as I implore them all, seeking their gazes to reassure me.
“I think she was encouraged to assume this new identity to protect her and Noah from the press. They were placed in Gavin and his wife’s care until recently,” Hunter explains.
“She must hate me so damn much.” Gripping my hair at the top of my head, I roar, causing Morgue to jolt. Then I drag a hand down my face, hoping it clears any evidence of my weakness. “Fuck. I wish I could take it back. Take it all fuckin’ back.” I drop my head again.
“She loves you, Killa,” Hunter says, and I stare back at him.
“She won’t hate you, brother,” Slash says, void of his usual maniacal expression. He almost looks sane. Almost. “She loves you,” he says with confidence.
“Then she shouldn’t,” I state.
I might have uncovered answers, but I wish like hell I hadn’t. Now that I know the truth, nothing will ever be the same again.