Chapter 23
CASSIDY
“Need to talk to you,” Killa says, buckling his belt, and I tug my panties and shorts back into place. With my man’s cum dripping out of my pussy, I grimace and scrunch my nose at my soaked panties.
Killa chuckles, and when I lift my head to glare at him, he averts his eyes and drags a hand over his head. Oh, great, he’s got something to say but doesn’t want to say it.
“What’s wrong?”
He blows out a sigh and drops down onto the bed. Those wide legs of his take up half the space, and when he brushes his hand over his messy head again, I have the sudden urge to reassure him, but something inside me tells me I’m not going to like what he’s got to say.
“Cass,” he rasps, and finally lifts his head, his eyes swimming in guilt. “You’re gonna be pissed.”
My heart hammers hard, setting off sirens in my mind that have me wanting to run, but I remain steadfast, strong despite my mouth going dry. “What is it?”
“Don’t want you workin’ the diner.”
My chest rises rapidly.
“It’s not safe,” he adds.
“But I like my job.”
His nostrils flare, and he rolls his bottom lip into his mouth. “Want you here with me.”
I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I feel like he’s scooting around what he’s wanting to say. “I know.”
He swallows hard. “Permanently.”
He wants us to live here?
I chew on my fingernail, hating how vulnerable he looks, but I also know I have to put my son first. “That’s not a good idea.
I want to be with you, but I need to think of what’s best for Noah, Colton.
” I glance around the room and stare at the door.
The one separating us from the club whores, the guns, and drugs Gavin told me about, the very same ones Killa practically admitted to.
Something akin to hope springs in his eyes. “I have a house. Behind the clubhouse. It’s secure but still on the compound. It’s away from this, Cass. Noah won’t see any of it.”
I wasn’t aware there was somewhere behind the clubhouse. I assumed it was just derelict land.
He blows out a deep breath. “I was gonna surprise ya.”
I narrow my eyes. “Okayyy.”
He brushes his hand over his head again. “Moved your stuff in there, Cass.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and I blink slowly. He what?
“Want you to live here, with me. So, makin’ it happen.” He shrugs a shoulder as if uncaring, but I know differently. He’s unsure of my reaction, and he should be.
He had no right to move my belongings over here.
“Move it back,” I snap out.
He grinds his jaw from side to side but stares at me head-on. “No.”
Anger simmers beneath my skin. How dare he? I’ve only just gotten my independence, and now he’s taking it from me all over again.
“Move it back, Killa. Otherwise, I’m leaving.” I point toward the door.
“Colton,” he snaps. “You call me fuckin’ Colton when we’re in here.” He stabs his finger toward the floor, and his voice rises. His demanding tone is enough to scare grown men, but not me. I know he’d never hurt me. He sure as hell would have done it before now if he was going to.
“I don’t give a shit what your name is right now, because I’m pissed.”
His nostrils flare. “I want you here with me. I can keep you both safe here. You’re fuckin’ mine.” He rises from the bed, and I take a step back, but he follows me in two strides, and my body hits the wall. Caging me in with his arms above my head, he peers down on me.
How can he not understand what my freedom means to me? That the option to choose is freedom itself.
“You’re making me your prisoner,” I whisper on a sob that catches in my throat. “Just like he did.”
“Ain’t nothing like him,” he spits out with pure fury. “I’m makin’ you mine. There’s a damn difference, Little Demon.”
I grind my teeth and turn away from him, but he captures my chin between his thick fingers, with a softness alien to him, and he slowly turns my head back to face him.
“You and Noah are mine, Cass,” he whispers.
“I want you to move in here because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you both.
The shit that happens beyond those gates, I can’t always control.
Here, I can control this.” He tilts his head in the direction of the door.
“I’ll speak to Savage. Noah won’t see any of what goes on out there. ”
I push at his chest, but he remains unmoving. Betrayal at his actions swirl inside me like a raging storm. “You didn’t ask me,” I snipe out.
“That what you want?” He searches my eyes. “Huh? You want me to beg? That it?”
I shake my head. No, I don’t want him to beg. But a discussion would have been nice, a choice. I need some form of control over my life, especially after having none since my childhood.
“You took away my choice.”
He flinches.
“Everyone takes away my choice.” My words are low, but I know he hears them with the way he jerks again.
“Then choose me.” His words are soft, more tender than ever before. “I don’t want to risk losing you, Cass.” His Adam’s apple slides down his throat. “Gonna fuck up and do things the wrong way, but gonna always try to make them right. Get me?”
“You won’t lose me.” I swallow hard. “But I need to feel like I’m in control of my son’s and my lives, Colton.”
“Our son.”
A sob catches in my throat.
Did he just refer to Noah as his son again? Tears well in my eyes at the enormity behind his words, and he drags his thumb up my cheek, scooping up a tear. Then he sucks it into his mouth, making me squirm.
“You’re my ol’ lady, Cass. Noah is my son, and I want you both to move in here, with me. I want us to be a family. I wanna get this right, baby.”
My heart races as strong as the determination in his voice. “I want that too.”
His lips twitch. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
He pulls back and scans me. “You think you could work the bar while Noah is at school?”
My head spins, because only moments ago, he was saying he didn’t want me to work the bar. “I’d have to check my schedule at the diner.”
“Sure it’ll be fine,” he says with a confidence I don’t feel before averting his eyes.
The idea of being here with him permanently is growing on me.
The security brings reassurance, and Noah has settled in perfectly fine, like he was always meant to be here.
The thought of everyone potentially knowing my history doesn’t feel right to me either; it makes me feel weak, exposed, and easy pickings for the club whores to dissect.
Doubt lingers in my mind. Can I really do this? Create a whole new life for Noah and me when I’m only just getting used to the one we have.
“Wanna look after you both, Cass,” Killa says.
“I don’t like the thoughts of them all knowing about my past,” I state.
“This here”—he places his hand over my thumping heart—“that’s strength inside you, the same one I hated before I realized I loved you.”
My heart skips a beat on his admission, but he continues.
“Turn your pain into your power, Little Demon. Go out there and own it. Use it. Show every one of them your strength, because it’s your superpower, Cass.
It shows the world you’re not a victim, you’re a survivor, and there’s a difference.
Allow your strength to define you. Embrace it.
” My heart thuds wildly. “Now, go out there and remind them all what a motherfucking survivor you are, show them your superpower, baby. Show them you’re my little demon. ”
His words empower me, filling me with so much strength and self-assurance.
He sees me.
He sees me when nobody else ever has.
A loud bang on the door causes me to jump, and Killa glares in its direction. I swear I hear him growl.
“Killa? You in there?” Warrior bellows.
Killa moves toward the door and throws it open. “The fuck is your problem?”
Warrior grins and his eyebrows dance. “It’s go-time, brother.”
I don’t know what they have planned, but the look of savagery on Killa’s face tells me it’s about to be brutal.