Chapter 27 Zaria
ZARIA
It's fifty-three steps from my door to his.
I don't know why I counted, except that I needed something solid, something measurable, to keep my courage from shattering halfway down the hall.
I told myself it's fifty-three yeses to going for something I want. And most importantly, it's fifty-three steps away from the girl who waited to be told what to do and toward the woman who chooses and goes after what she wants.
I pause outside Callum's bedroom door and look back down the hall to my room, the place I could retreat to if needed, but the thought of turning back and forgetting this doesn't even cross my mind.
My hand trembles as I reach for the handle. Without thinking, I don't knock. I just turn it slowly and walk in.
The room is about three times the size of mine. It's so big it has couches and chairs in one corner facing a fireplace and a TV, both of which are off. The bed is massive and framed in dark wood. It dominates the space.
I walk into the room and shut the door behind me.
I immediately smell his scent. Not just his cologne, but something clean and sharp and uniquely Callum. It sinks straight into my bloodstream and makes my stomach flip.
My body tingles as I take another step forward, heat vibrating low in my stomach, my body wanting what my mind has finally caught up to desire.
I take another step forward, then another, my skin buzzing like I'm vibrating from the inside out. The sensation starts at my feet and spreads through my thighs, my chest, my fingertips.
There's a light on in the bathroom, and I hear running water.
I walk across his room and peek through the crack in the door.
Callum's at the sink washing his hands. He's stripped of his clothes and is in black boxer briefs.
I freeze as I watch his perfectly defined back muscles flex as he scrubs the dried blood from beneath his nails.
Water drips down his forearms, his shoulders shifting with each movement.
My breath catches. I've never seen him like this.
Half-dressed and unguarded. He looks beautiful.
Heat rushes through me so fast it almost makes me dizzy.
My body reacts instantly, heat flooding between my legs, and I feel myself getting wet.
As my arousal grows, I take a step back. Suddenly, I'm nervous, self-conscious, like I shouldn't be here.
What am I doing?
He couldn't possibly want me.
God, I'm so stupid for thinking this.
Panic comes crashing in.
This was a mistake.
I turn around quickly to leave.
I am about halfway to his door when the room suddenly fills with light.
I stop.
Shit. He's opened the bathroom door.
Turning slowly, I see Callum standing in the doorway, staring at me.
His black hair is slightly tousled. His green eyes are more intense than I've ever seen them. His pec muscles rise and fall as he breathes.
My gaze goes lower, across the ripples of his six-pack, tracing the deep V that disappears below his underwear, and his large bulge.
I feel my face turn red, and my eyes shoot back up to his.
"I. I, uh," I say, my brain trying to get anything out, but I can't.
He takes a step toward me, and time slows.
Even if I wanted to move, I can't.
He takes another, and I just bite my lip, my fingers fumbling together.
He stops right in front of me, towering over my small frame.
And as I look up at him, it's like I'm seeing him for the first time. Everything about him looks sexy. His face, his hair, even the shape of his eyebrows, I find sexy.
Oh my God, I'm losing it.
We stare at one another, and as he looks at me, I feel reduced to my most vulnerable state.
My chest rises and falls too fast. My skin burns where his gaze touches.
"Zaria," he says, his voice low and rough. "Why are you here?"
"I…" I start, but I don't know what to say.
I came here because I wanted to. Because I needed to.
Because the thought of being alone in that room, with the unlocked door and the silence and the memory of his kiss, was unbearable.
I swallow hard. "I don't know," I lie.
"Yes, you do."
His hand lifts, and I flinch, not out of fear, but out of habit.
He touches my face so gently it makes my throat ache.
His thumb brushes my lips. "Tell me," he says.
"I wanted to see you," I say.
"Why?"
"Because I…" My voice breaks. "Because I can't stop thinking about you."
His eyes darken, and something shifts in the air between us.
"You know now that you're here, I can't let you leave."
"I don't want to go back," I say, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. "I want to be here. With you."
He stares at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Then, without speaking, he wraps his arms around me, leans down, and kisses me.
This kiss is different from the one in the warehouse.
That one was for survival. This one is real.
My heart is racing so fast it feels like it might burst, but the fear is different now. It's sharp and bright and threaded through with want.
His mouth moves against mine, slow and possessive, like he's claiming me, like he's erasing every man who ever touched me before.
I kiss him back, my hands sliding up his chest, my fingers curling into warm skin. He exhales softly against my lips, something dangerously close to a groan.
He tastes like something I desperately need.
His hands slide down my back, pulling me closer, and I gasp against his mouth.
As he kisses me, I feel his bulge getting bigger.
I slide my hand down and rub his cock from outside his boxer briefs, and he kisses me deeper, his mouth devouring mine like he's been holding back all night and finally snapped.
His hands move to the zipper on my dress and he slides it down slowly. It falls to the floor and he pulls me toward him, the warmth of his skin I can now feel all over me.
He pulls back slightly, his eyes roaming over me.
I'm standing in front of him in just my bra and panties, and I should feel exposed or even ashamed, but I don't.
Because the way he's looking at me makes me feel beautiful.
He leans down and starts kissing and licking my neck. The sensation sends fire throughout my body.
He then picks me up like I weigh nothing, his hands gripping my butt, and carries me to the bed.
He lays me down gently, his body hovering over mine, and kisses me again.
His mouth moves from my lips to my jaw, my neck, my collarbone.
Every kiss feels like a promise.
Suddenly, the bathroom light automatically turns off.
Darkness swallows the room and panic surges through me.
"Callum," I say, tapping his shoulder. "The dark. The dark."
He lifts his head immediately, his eyes locking onto mine.
"I'll take care of it and you,” he says, reaches back without looking, and presses something.
The fireplace roars to life.
Golden light floods the room, flickering shadows across his face, across the walls, across us.
"No more darkness," he says and kisses my lips. "Not with me."
I smile and my breathing returns to normal. I lift my head to kiss him back.
I feel his hands slide beneath me as he unhooks my bra.
He pulls it off and tosses it aside.
"Fucking beautiful," he says before his mouth is on my breast, his tongue circling my nipple.
I arch into him, a moan escaping my lips.
He kisses a trail from one breast to the other slowly, and it drives me wild. My hips buck and I grind into him, feeling his cock fully hard now.
His hand slides down my stomach, slipping beneath the waistband of my panties, and I gasp as his fingers find my clit.
I spread my legs slightly so he can feel how wet I am.
"Fuck, Zaria," he says, bringing his hand up to taste me on his fingers.
I kiss him, and it's a mixture of both of us.
He then starts kissing my cheek, my neck, and down along my ribs.
He kisses every scar, every burn, every mark Cormac and the Order left on my body.
He then grabs my arm, the one with the M, and I tense, waiting for disgust, for pity.
But instead, he leans down and kisses it.
"You're beautiful," he says against my skin.
"I'm not," I whisper.
"Oh you have no idea," he growls as he slides my panties down my legs, leaving me completely naked beneath him.
He kisses my stomach, my hip, my thigh.
And then his mouth is between my legs, and I cry out, my hands fisting the sheets.
His tongue circles my clit and I'm shaking, feeling like I'm falling apart beneath him.
I've been touched before, but never like this.
"Callum," I gasp, my hips grinding against his mouth.
He groans, his hands gripping my thighs, holding me in place as he devours me.
I feel his warm tongue slide up and down, and then enter me. The feeling is so overwhelming, it's like fire and ice at the same time, everything coursing through my veins.
He's like a drug that I can't get enough of.
The pleasure builds and builds, and I feel myself tightening up, my muscles straining, and I know I won't be able to hold back much longer.
"Just like that," I say, gripping his head, and he moves up and down, licking every spot that keeps pushing me over the edge.
I see our shadows dancing on the wall from the fire, and it only heightens me.
My toes start to tingle and I know I can't hold back anymore. I grip his hair tighter, grind against his face harder, and then I shatter with a scream.
My body convulses as I come against his mouth.
He doesn't stop, and he pulls every ounce of my orgasm out of me as he licks up all my wetness.
Then he lifts his head, his mouth glistening, and looks at me with such raw hunger it makes me bite my lip with lust.
He stands and slides his boxer briefs down, and I see him, all of him.
His cock is big and thick.
My eyes widen as I see precum reflecting in the light, and the desire to give him the same pleasure he just gave me overtakes me. Before I know it, I'm sliding onto my knees and wrapping my hands around his shaft.
I lean forward and kiss the precum off his tip, licking my lips to savor his salty taste.
I then take him inside my mouth, my jaw widening to take his size. My tongue glides up and down the bottom of his shaft as I suck deeper, trying to take him further into my throat.
The sounds he makes turn me on, and even though I'm so close to gagging, I try to take all of him.
He places a hand on the back of my head and guides me forward and backward as I work my mouth on his rock-hard cock. I pull back slightly and take a few deep breaths, my saliva hanging between my lips and his tip before I take him back into my throat.
His hand grips my hair and he stops me.
"Be a good girl and get on the bed," he says.
I wipe my mouth and obey him.
He climbs back onto the bed and I spread my legs wide, giving him all the access he needs.
He positions himself between my legs and angles himself so his tip is at my entrance. I tense up in anticipation of trying to take his size.
"Don't worry," he says, his voice low. "I'll go slow."
He leans down and kisses me, and I taste myself on his lips.
And then slowly, so slowly, he pushes inside.
I gasp, my body stretching to accommodate him.
At first it burns, almost painful, but it's a pain you somehow want more of.
He pauses, giving me time to adjust.
"Okay?"
"Yeah," I nod.
He pushes in deeper, inch by inch, until he's fully inside me.
I feel so full, so stretched, so completely his.
He stays still for a moment, his breathing ragged, and then he starts to move.
Slow, deep thrusts that make my toes curl.
He kisses me as he fucks me, his hands gripping my body, holding me in place.
I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, and he groans.
"Fuck, you feel like you were made for me," he says against my mouth.
I can't speak. I can't think.
All I can do is feel.
His cock sliding in and out of me.
His hands on my body.
His mouth on my skin.
The firelight flickering across the room.
The heat building between us.
"Callum," I gasp, my nails digging into his back.
He thrusts harder, faster.
"Say my name again," he demands.
"Callum."
"Again."
"Callum."
He groans, his hips slamming into mine, and I feel myself climbing toward another orgasm.
His pace is relentless, and my body is fully able to take him now, and I feel myself on the verge of orgasming again.
"I'm close," I whisper.
"Come for me, baby," he says, his voice rough. "I want to know what it feels like for you to come on my cock."
The electricity from his words runs through me, and he pins me down, my body squirming from the overload of pleasure.
My body vibrates and suddenly bright white stars cloud my vision. I come undone around him and bite my lip to keep myself from screaming.
I hold onto him tightly and he fucks me harder and harder. I feel myself clamp around his cock and his breathing goes erratic, his pace faltering.
He pounds into me so hard I'm shaking. I feel his back muscles tense, and with a final thrust, he fills me with his warm seed. I grind against him, milking his cock and allowing both of us to ride out our orgasms.
Eventually, we both slow, trying to catch our breaths. I wipe the strands of hair that have stuck to my sweaty forehead out of my face as he collapses on top of me, his weight pressing me into the mattress.
I wrap my arms around him, holding him close, and I kiss his shoulder.
"My God, I've never felt anything like that before," I say, and start giggling with pure happiness.
He lifts his head and looks at me.
"Get used to it," he says.
And for the first time in my life, I believe that maybe, just maybe, I deserve this.
I deserve him.