Chapter 32 Zaria
ZARIA
Istare out the window in my room, and I watch the guard pass below.
I move.
The moment my door closes behind me, I am already counting.
One.
Two.
Three.
My heart beats hard in my chest.
Every second counts now.
When I first got here, all that time spent in my room, sometimes for days at a time, alone, made me look out the windows.
And when I got bored, I would do things to pass the time.
Like counting how long the guards took to pass each window, how often they stopped to talk, which ones were distracted and which ones never were. Things like that.
Coming and going from places that were protected were things I got good at in the Order. It was always on my mind. Always watching exits. Always cataloging routines. Always asking myself how long it would take to disappear if I had to.
I reach the top of the stairs and pause, listening.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
I hurry down the stairs, keeping my steps light, my hand sliding along the banister for balance. I pass the living room without looking in. I do not let myself hesitate.
I discovered a weakness in one of the walls that run around the Killaney estate.
I double-checked it the night Callum took me out to the pool. The wall dips down, not by much, but just enough to matter.
There is a stone bench set against it, decorative and forgotten, half hidden by ivy. I measured it with my eyes. Bench height, wall height, and distance to the treeline.
I can for sure jump up on the bench and clear the wall and disappear into the treeline. From there, wave down a taxi or something. I don't know. I'll figure it out.
I pass the kitchen and leave out the back door.
The morning air hits my face, cool and sharp.
I stop just outside the door and count again, waiting for the guards to turn and walk back.
My hands shake as I press them against my thighs.
One. Two. Three.
Cormac's voice plays in my head. We have Callum's mother.
Four. Five. Six.
The guard's footsteps fade around the corner.
Seven. Eight. Nine.
I suck in a breath.
Ten.
Then, I run.
I sprint across the lawn, my legs pumping beneath me as my shoes hit the grass in quick, frantic bursts.
The bench comes up fast. I plant my foot on the stone and launch myself upward.
I hop on the bench and then make the jump.
The wall is higher than I anticipated, and for a terrifying second, my fingers scrape uselessly against the top.
Then I grab hold and pull.
Pain flares as my knee scrapes hard against the stone. I bite back a cry and force myself up and over, my body screaming in protest as I tumble down the other side.
I push myself up and start running.
My lungs burn, and my chest is tight with panic. The woods thin quickly, giving way to a narrow road.
I slow to a walk, forcing my breathing to steady.
I am just a normal girl out on a morning stroll.
I wipe my palms on my jeans and keep my head down, patting my legs a few times to get the dirt off.
After about ten minutes, a convenience store appears ahead. Its parking lot is mostly empty except for a few cabs parked in one corner.
I walk up to them, and they're all empty except for one. A cab driver is leaning against one of the cars, smoking a cigarette.
"You, uh, available?" I ask, approaching him.
He looks me over and takes a drag from his cigarette.
I'm sure he sees how messy my hair is, or maybe the scrapes on my hands from the wall.
"Where you headed?" he asks.
"34118 Sycamore Main."
"South end?"
"Yes," I nod.
He drops his cigarette on the ground and steps on it. "Alright, let's go."
I slide into the back seat and shut the door, my hands shaking.
The cab smells like stale smoke and fake pine air freshener mixed with sweat.
As we start driving, the reality of what I am doing settles heavy in my chest.
We start driving, and the reality of me not coming back sinks in and makes me sad.
I think about Callum waking up and finding the note.
Reading it and his face when he realizes I'm gone.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Don't think about it. Don't.
But I do.
He's going to think the worst things about me, and that hurts more than anything else. But when his mom's free, he'll know why I did this. Why I had to.
I look out the window, and every street we pass feels like it's dragging me closer to something I can't escape.
When we start to get close, I'm forced to realize I'm going to have to run.
I have no money. No wallet. Nothing.
The guilt claws at me. Using people has always made me sick. It is one of the things I hated most about the Order, but I need to get to Cormac as fast as I can.
It was always the plan to run, however, as the address I gave him is a block away from where I really need to go.
So when he pulls onto Sycamore Main and we hit the first red light, I know this is my chance.
"I'm sorry," I say, and shove the door open.
"HEY!" the man yells.
But I take off, weaving in between honking cars and people yelling at me to get out of the road.
I cut through a side street, my lungs burning, my knee throbbing where I scraped it on the wall.
I don't stop running until I get to my destination.
The Old Ruins, as Cormac has called it since I reconnected with him all those years ago.
It's also known as the Old Donoghue Ruins, and it's where the massacre happened. The exact location where Callum's grandfather tried to end things.
Years later, after the fire and when Cormac got out and inherited his money, he bought the land, which had turned into a business complex.
It was here the first headquarters of Shadowharbor was formed, but now it's an empty building that Cormac keeps for only the most sacred rituals. So if he's here, he intends to kill someone. Me or Callum's mom.
I slide through the fence and into the parking lot.
It's going to be me.
I know it, and deep down, I've always known it.
I look around, and it doesn't seem like anyone's here, but I know better.
I walk inside, and the air is stale. I walk the halls from memory, my skin crawling as I approach the one room I've been in two or three times for special rituals.
That is for sure where he'll be.
I'm scared, but I push through it, opening the door.
The flicker of candles surrounds the Morrígan statue and the altar in the center. That damn incense burns, and it's the only thing I can smell.
But no May. Callum's mother doesn't appear to be here.
"You have betrayed me, Sister Omega," he says, his voice coming from the shadows.
My stomach drops.
"Where is she, Cormac?" I demand, spinning, searching for him.
"Not Father? Oh, how far you've fallen."
I clench my fists. "I try my best to stop calling you that. You don't deserve it from what you've become."
"What I've become," he repeats. "They did this to me. Your captor's family did this to me."
"Where is she!" I shout.
Cormac laughs.
The sound bounces off the walls, hollow and cruel.
He steps out from behind the Morrígan statue, his face half lit by candlelight.
"She was never taken, Sister Omega."
The words hit me like a blow, and my heart stops.
"What?"
"There is no May Killaney here. There never was."
I stagger back a step.
"I needed you to come," he continues. "And you did."
Then there's a pause, and he claps his hands together. "Get her."
Three or four men rush me from the shadows. I scream and fight, kicking and clawing, but there are too many of them.
Hands grab me, and they drag me to the altar and force me down, binding my wrists and ankles.
"NO! NO!" I scream, thrashing against the restraints.
I yank on the ropes, yelling and cursing him, finally feeling free to tell him how I feel.
"You're a fucking monster! You never cared about me! You never..."
Cormac comes over me, his shadow blocking out the candlelight.
He pulls out a knife.
And without a second thought, he jams it right through my shoulder.
The pain is instant and white hot.
I scream as the blade goes right through me and comes out the other side, digging into the wood, pinning me down in place.
I can't move. It hurts too much.
My vision blurs, and I feel like I can't breathe as I feel warm blood starting to flow.
He looks down at me. "Now you will slowly bleed out for your betrayal," he says calmly, "giving your life force to the Morrígan. And I can finish what the Killaney family started forty years ago."
"You're fucking crazy," I gasp, in so much pain.
Every word feels like fire in my throat.
He looks down at me. "It was never about his mother, you know. It was all about you."
"What do you mean?"
"I let you escape. I let you stay in his house. Earn his trust. I knew you were weak and would turn on us and fall for him, and I knew he would let it happen."
He starts laughing.
"You were the Trojan horse without even knowing it. I used you to get closer than I ever could so I could do all this."
"All what?"
He looks down at me and leans in. "Who do you think is going to come and save you, Sister Omega?"
I try to lift my head and try to smile. "Well, he doesn't know where I am."
Cormac's smile widens.
"You think I would leave anything up to you? You pathetic excuse for a loyal daughter."
And then he leans in closer and whispers in my ear, "We left clues, and when he gets here, you're going to watch me burn him alive."
My stomach drops.
"No."
"Oh, yes."
"You can't..."
"I can," Cormac says. "And I will. And you'll be here to watch. Just like I watched my family burn."
He turns and looks at his men.
"Prepare the fire. Let's get ready to clean the world of two ungrateful souls and send them to the Morrígan."